Operation: Exploding Jellyfish!
Chapter One: Allergic Reaction
18:00, Edge
Yuffie smiled up at the traffic lights. Her fingers itched to rev the engine. The tiny shorts tightened when she shifted her posture on the bike.
The one good thing about Edge, aside from the fact that Tifa and Cloud lived there, was that when the traffic lights turned green... Everybody immediately tried to get into full throttle. A simple light change threatened your life.
The red light flickered.
Yuffie leaned further into the handlebars, her rear foot sliding a little.
Buying a properly functioning Black Shadow hadn't been easy. But she'd found the bike, and it wasn't as cool and full of nifty ways to rip your nose off as Cloud's, but oh god was it sexy.
And fast.
The red light flickered a little more. Began to wink on and off.
Her grip tightened on the throttle.
Three things happened in such a rapid succession as to almost occur simultaneously: the light turned green, her PHS started vibrating, and the trucker behind her slammed his foot on the gas.
Yuffie had been ready for the light. Her arm twitched automatically, her wrist flicking, fingers tightening. The bike sped up even as she swore wildly at the jackass behind her.
Her other hand slid down to her thigh, pulled the phone out.
"You have reached the Kisaragi— Chocobo-#$in mog-licker, you suck your mother's— Hotline, hunting Materia, stealing small Gil— if I ever see you again I am going to pour #$ing napalm in your fuel tank, you son of a bitch— and boldly going where you're not supposed to go for the past five years. Yuffie speaking, how may I help you?"
"Hey, Yuffie? It's Cloud. Yeah, I can't get in touch with Reeve, and I can't break into places like this, and, uh, I NEED A HUGE FREAKING FAVOUR."
"You are such a pain, Cloud. All right, what I gotta do?"
"Break into Reeve's office for me. Call me when you get there."
He seemed quite content to leave it at that.
"WHAT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE'D KILL ME. HIS SECURITY GURARDS WOULD KILL ME. NO FREAKING WAY."
Cloud, being the sneaky bastard that he was, used his secret weapon: "Milkshakes?"
She paused. She thought about the horrible death at the hands of Cait Sith. She thought about milkshakes.
"NO, NOT EVEN FOR MILKSHAKES."
She hung up, swearing.
Cloud stared at the PHS. Yuffie'd hung up on him. Yuffie had hung up on him. Yuffie had hung up on him!
He stared at his watch. 18:00. He was fucked. He was so fucking fucked if he didn't get that ring back. By 23:00. He had to have it by 23:00, so he could drive it to the restaurant, and give specific instructions to the kitchen.
He was fucked.
Being fucked, he made a last ditch effort.
The PHS on the other line rang exactly once.
"Valentine speaking."
"Uh, Vincent, hi."
"Yes?"
"You're about the only person Yuffie listens to. Could you have her call me?"
". . .I will try."
Vincent hung up.
Cloud stared at the PHS. God damn, that's annoying!
Minutes later, his PHS rang. He answered it immediately.
"Cloud."
"What?"
"She refuses to speak to you."
". . .Crap. Well, in that case, could you ask her to do me a favour? Tell her I left something of Tifa's in Reeve's office and absolutely gotta have it before 23 hundred."
Vincent hung up.
Cloud bit back a snarl.
Yuffie had just pulled into a drive-in movie when her PHS rang.
"Rasserfrassin' stupid head," she mumbled. "Whoever the fuck you are, you're keeping me from Dracula."
"It's Vincent."
Her mood brightened instantly. Who cared about Dracula from the movies when she had the real thing on the phone? "Vinnie! Hihihihihi!"
". . .Please do Cloud this favour. Apparently, he left something of Tifa's in Reeve's office."
Yuffie wasn't a stupid ninja. She put two and two together, and wouldn't you know, two and two makes four?
Words deserted her.
"Is something wrong?"
" ... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA."
"?"
"OHMYGAWD THIS IS HILARIOUS. HE LEFT THE ENGAGEMENT RING IN REEVE'S OFFICE."
"Engagement?"
"Oh my gawd, oh my gawd. Well, if I don't get him that ring, I guess he won't get married. He really is a pain."
Yuffie hung up. And then she started to review what she remembered about Reeve's security.