Chapter 2: A Christmas Carol

(A/N: Still in present time, but I'm pretty sure anyone could figure that out. This next scene does little to move the story along, but I did want have some fun with the O'Connell's.)

"Here's a little Q and A, where the hell are we?"

Rick O'Connell stared in pure, unadulterated disgusted horror as his gaze traveled from one end of the room to the other. What he saw before him made him almost wish he were back at Hamunaptra, defending himself once again against dozens of crawling mummies. Rick tugged uncomfortably at his tie, and for the life of him couldn't loosen it. He bent down and whispered with his out-placed American accent in his beautiful wife's shell of an ear.

"Do we honestly have to be here?"

Evelyn had her hands clasped in front of her heart, her eyes shining with adoration. She looked as though she were about to cry. She barely even noticed her giant of a husband beside her, but answered the same thing she said every time they went somewhere he didn't want to be.

"Just give it a chance, darling. You'll learn to love it. Otherwise someone will be sleeping on the couch tonight, and one guess who that will be."

Rick immediately straightened up, and did his utmost to hide the grimacing scowl behind his boyish face. But one more look around the room, and he knew he'd definitely be sleeping on the couch tonight. It was absolutely disgusting. It was an explosion of green and red, of glitter and of Christmas decorations. The much overused Santa Claus figurines were centred in each section of the room, and reindeer plastered over every single inch of wall space. The reindeer looked traumatized, and about a dozen 6 year olds were throwing shiny decorations at the Three Kings statues in the corner. Repetitive Christmas carols rung throughout the building, and the wreaths hung from the walls like nooses. To Rick, this was Hell.

They were at The Bowen Elementary Academy for Boys and Girls, and luckily for Rick every year the school would hold a number of Christmas festivities, including plays, songs, everything short of standing in a circle and holding hands. He felt the smell of cookies as someone shuddered a breath in his face. It was his 7yr.old son, Alex. His poor son had no choice to be here, and though he tried to hide behind some girl's back in class, he could not escape his teacher handing him a part in the upcoming Christmas play of the Virgin Mary and the birth of Jesus. Alex was dressed as one of the shepherds, too bad he didn't even look like one. Evelyn, who at the time was so excited about seeing cute children dress up (in reality she was just trying to make Rick more willing to the idea of having more kids) that it completely slipped her mind that she had to create a costume for her son. In fact, it was remembered 20 minutes before they arrived to the doors of the Academy.

Earlier Rick and Evelyn, trying to slip in a few moments of togetherness, was embarrassingly enough interrupted by Alex casually walking into their room, not blinking an eye, and told them outright about his need for a costume. In a frenzy Evelyn ripped off the tacky purple curtains from her own childhood bedroom window and wrapped it around Alex. (She would have used the linens sheet, but we all know about precious family heirlooms, apparently the sheets were an inheritance from a distant millionaire uncle). Then she tore one of the fabric floral placemats from the dining-room table and somehow created a head-scarf. All the while Alex was staring at her with one eyebrow raised, his mouth opened in disgust, and wondering how they were any relation. After one car ride from hell Alex was almost glad to be in the building, but now he sat perched in his father's arms, a grimace consuming his face. As Evelyn greeted other friends and parents, father and son stayed by the exit, they were not willing to lose their single option for escape. Alex looked at his father's expression and sighed.

"Oh, c'mon Dad, you if you think you got it bad, look at me. I look like a bloody peacock."

"Hey, watch your language buddy," said Rick sternly, instantly smothering a smile. British swearwords had yet to take effect on him. "Besides, Peacocks aren't purple."

Alex rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean," he said as he eyed disgustingly at a girl with angel wings jumping up and down for no particular reason. "I had to practice everyday with these psychopaths. I don't think I'll survive around these blokes any longer. Mum seems to like it enough though."

They both stared at Evelyn, who was exclaiming with the other mothers at their innocent children dress up like most children their age would love to do. Rick had a suspicion that she wished that Alex would still be into this cutesy-cutesy stuff. One look at his son's face, however, and Rick knew there was no hope for Evy.

"Well kid, I guess we should go in."

Alex scrambled out of his father's arms, not wanting the other kids to see how attached he was to his parents. He and Rick walked stiffly over to where Evelyn was shrieking over her friend's engagement ring, and her husband and son both sighed simultaneously. Alex made it over to his mother alright, but halfway Rick himself was ambushed by his son's teacher, Mrs. Petrie. It was as if she had appeared out of the ground, and she nearly tackled Rick. Mrs. Petrie was a heavy set woman, with broad shoulders and a pot belly. She easily matched Rick's height. It was obvious that she was no Mrs., sadly unmarried, but in fact liked the title. She had set her eyes on Rick, and immediately targeted him.

"Why hello there," She crooned as she leaned closer and closer. "And just who might you be?"

The closer she got the further Rick leaned away. When her hand reached up to adjust his tie, he shoved his hand in front of him, shaking hers vigorously.

"Hi, I'm Alex's father, Rick O'Connell. Over there is my wife, Evelyn. She's my spouse of 8 years, actually. Yep, I love her. My wife. We're in love. Had a wedding and everything."

The fact that he was married apparently didn't do anything for Mrs. Petrie. Actually, she seemed to be more attracted by this fact. However she did glance over to where they stood, and blinked as her eyes settled on the purple chaos that is Alex. Evelyn had licked her sleeve and was trying to wipe off a smudge of dirt off of Alex's face with it, ignoring his cringing techniques. The other mothers surrounded him and exclaimed over him, while making slight adjustments to his costume. All the while Alex was slightly twitching his eye, as though a shudder had passed throughout his very soul. Mrs. Petrie turned back to Rick and purred into his ear.

'Well, I can where he got his good looks from." She leaned closer to him.

Rick repressed a look of horrified disgust and immediately his watch seemed to appear out of thin air.

"Isn't it about time for the play to begin, Mrs. Petrie?"

Alex's teacher looked disappointed for only a moment, before finally accepting her fate. She turned her back to Rick and clapped her hands for silence.

"Attention, attention everyone. I must steal the children away from you so that they can prepare for the play. I ask the parents to go find a seat in the auditorium."

Instantly everyone in the room began to shuffle around the room, the more pretentious children began to sing Christmas songs and skip away. Alex groaned dramatically and trudged after them, his own friends stiffly walking beside him. Mrs. Petrie prepared to leave but not before stroking Rick's sleeve and whispering in his ear.

"Well then dear man, do save me a spot under the mistletoe later on."

With a wink of her rolling eyelid, she flourishingly swept herself away, leaving Rick to practically gag. Once he got control of himself, he lifted his eyes to see Evelyn stand in front of him, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. Her heeled toe tapped the ground in patience; silently waiting for an answer to the scene she had just witnessed. Rick swore silently to himself.

"Couch, here I come." He mumbled under his breath.

Rick stared guilty at his wife.

"Evy, honey, I know I've said this to you so many times in the past, but it's not what it looks like."

Her face didn't even twitch. He continued on.

"I don't even know the woman. C'mon, she doesn't even remotely compare to you."

Rick could see the bone in her jaw clench. He began to actually think she was mad at him.

"Please, Evy. She was just flirting. I wasn't, in fact I really wanted to run away from her!"

Evelyn stared at him in mock anger for a moment or two, before bursting out with laughter. She looked beyond Rick and began to speak.

"Sorry Martha, I couldn't control myself, it was too funny to resist."

Her friend Martha, who was a mother to one of Alex's friends, appeared laughing behind Rick and handed Evelyn a note of money.

"Well, you win the bet."

Evelyn smiled graciously, all the while giggling. She pocketed the money into her purse and looked at her husband, eyelashes batting.

'We bet on how long it would take for you to start to sweat and look worried. But even you have to admit it was funny how she coddled up to you."

It was Rick's turn to look at her impassibly, his eyebrow raised in silent embarrassment. He didn't say a word as Evelyn and Martha linked arms, all the while giggling as they consistently looked back at him. He followed behind them, his hands in his pockets and staring cynically at his vixen wife of his. The three of them entered the auditorium, but the instant they stepped in Evelyn gasped and Martha shrieked as a goateed man dressed like an Elf (plastered in spandex) all of a sudden jumped in front of them, stuck out his tongue, wiggled his ears, and bounced away. It was Rick's turn to laugh. Evelyn glared at him for a moment before resumed looking for a seat. They separated from Martha, and spotted two empty seats in the middle. A row of people in their way stared irate at them, sighing to themselves as they all lifted their knees to let the O'Connell's walk past them. Evelyn was capable of walking by them as graciously as possible, despite her normally clumsy self, whereas Rick was stumbling over each nook and cranny in his way. He kept apologizing to the owners of the feet he kept stepping on, and more then once felt someone with long fingernails stroke his leg and upwards as he walked by. Rick heaved a sigh of relief as he finally plopped down into his seat, only to be greeted by the biggest head of hair in the world blocking his view of the stage.

Currently on the stage were children dressed up like angels and elves hold hands and dancing around an enormous paper tree. The tree was giant, and it almost touched the ceiling. During all the time Rick was trying to think of how they were able to create a paper tree, he didn't see the kids on the stage throwing Christmas goodies and other candies into the audience. Evelyn caught on gracefully and smiled; another one sailed down and mauled Rick in the eye.

"Son of a bitch!" he cried out loud.

Evelyn immediately stared away from him hoping no one would make the connection that they were husband and wife. But she did speak to him quietly under clenched teeth.

"Rick, do be quiet. You cannot swear at a children's play. They're just about to start the play about the birth of Jesus."

Both of them missed the hard rock candy fly through the air. They did, however, both notice how it hit him yet again in the other eye.

"Jesus Christ!" Rick cried out.

Heads swivelled in horror as a few people near them turned their heads towards him. Evelyn tried to shush him and put her finger to her lips. Rick spoke more quietly, but with still the same amount of pain.

"Mother almighty, these kids are vicious."

Evelyn placed a hand to her forehead and sunk lower into her seat. Normally her brother was the one to make a scene, but apparently today Rick decided to bestow upon himself that honour. But the attention on Rick was soon centred away from him as the Christmas plat began. It was cute, yea, if Al Capone had directed it. Acting was obviously not a primary object, and Rick suspected that when the Virgin Mary (acted by a little boy named Henry) was being stoned after the discovery of her pregnancy, the actors were using actual stones. It was a confusing play, and the tree baffled him the most. He leaned down and whispered in Evy's ear.

"Why is the paper tree still there?"

Evelyn stared straight at the stage.

"Just leave it alone, Rick."

"But why is it there? They're in a seedy looking part of Bethlehem, why is there a paper tree in the middle of it all?"

Evelyn plainly ignored him. A woman behind them began to whisper angrily to the man sitting beside her.

"Your bloody father, he should be here. His bloody granddaughter is here performing a play, and he can't even be here. She asked him to be here, but noooo, grandpa just had to be at the pub drinking his way to an early death."

Rick bent his head and drawled in Evelyn's ear.

"Sounds like grandpa had the right idea."

He groaned as his wife elbowed him in the side. The play continued on, and Evy was practically jumping in her chair as Alex and the other shepherds came into scene. If the other actors were bad, they were nothing compared to Alex. He wasn't even trying, just looking bored and being fascinated with his fingernails. Everyone in the audience missed the sly smile twitching at his lips. Though his acting had much to be admired, Rick felt proud of his son. He stared intently at Alex, amazed that the boy on stage was his son. Never in a million years would he have thought of becoming a father. Rick had eyes only for his son. However he did not miss the motion when Alex looked up and towards his friend, who was playing one of the three kings. He barely saw the imperceptible motion of Alex nodding to his pal, but Rick's head swivelled to the king, and dread crept into his heart. Alex and friend (Billy, one of the three kings) began to walk towards the crib that held the baby Jesus. They both, as well, "tripped" at the same time towards the giant paper tree and smashed into it. The paper tree was enormous, and nearly reached the roof. The items that were holding it into position groaned, and began to upturn. Poor Henry, the boy playing the Virgin Mary, clutched onto the tree with all his might and cried out loud.

"Mother of God, nooooo…"

Screams began to fill the auditorium as the tree began to topple over into the audience. The ones in the front stared horrified as they looked up to this falling tree, covering their faces with their arms. Mrs. Petrie ran to the stage crying about the cruelty of it all as the tree finally smashed into the audience. But as it was only paper, it caused very little damage, only a few paper-cuts here and there. Alex was staring at the wreckage, a wry grin of satisfaction curling his lips. Rick and Evelyn stared in horror.

"Oh Alex," they both said with a sigh.

…………………….

Alex was laughing hysterically as they walked up towards their mansion, snowflakes twirling in the night sky, sprinkling their clothes. Rick was doing his best not to burst out laughing, and kept his jaw clenched and his tongue firmly between his own teeth. Evelyn was furious.

"You, young man, are grounded for a month. No, two months. You will march straight up to your room, and I will be there shortly to give you a spanking."

Alex's face instantly dropped. Evelyn swung open the door and pointed to the stairs.

"Go. Right now."

Alex hunched his shoulders and sighed, very much used to this. He trudged through the house and stared innocently at his mother. Evy would not budge. He turned around and climbed quite exaggeratingly upstairs. Evelyn and Rick stared at each other for a moment, before she smacked him up over the head.

"What was that for?"

Evelyn crossed her arms.

"You know he just does this to impress you, and you encourage it because you are the bloody same!"

Rick sighed and ran a coarse hand through his sandy blonde hair. He walked up to Evelyn and pulled her outside in the falling snow. He leaned closer and placed his mouth in the curve of her neck. He breathed softly, his breath playing with the strands of her hair. Rick wrapt his arms around her waist and got as close as possible to her. He whispered silently in her ear.

"You know I'm the same because all I ever want to do is impress you."

He leaned down to kiss her, and shifted his own feet. Doing so, he stepped on a piece of paper lying in front of the door and instantly tripped onto his back. Groaning, he placed a hand to his forehead. How many times was he going to get hurt today? But Evelyn's attention was no longer focused on him; it was now on the paper on the ground. She bent down and retrieved it from the snowy walk, realizing it was a telegram. Rick got up slowly, clutching his aching back. Evelyn opened the telegram, almost excited. She scanned the paper quickly, and then looked up at Rick with confusion.

"It's from Ardeth Bey."

Rick snapped his head towards her.

"Ardeth? What does he want?"

"Well, apparently he wants us to call him at the Mena Oberoi Hotel in Cairo. He said it's urgent."

Rick felt a cold chill tug at his heart.

"Oh, no."

Evelyn pocketed the telegram in her purse. Her brain was switching gears.

"Well, we'll give him a call soon enough. We should get Jonathan; he's just as much of a part of this as we are."

Rick raised an eyebrow.

"Hon, I very much doubt that Ardeth would appreciate Jonathan being there."

But his wife was no longer listening. She was only thinking of questions in her head.

"Where is Jonathan anyway?" she mumbled softly.

Sorry, I know this chapter had very little to do with moving to the story along, but it was fun to write.

To my Reviewers

Eviefan: Thank you so much for reviewing, and don't worry, I'll do my best to add Rick and Evy romance in here. Lol, and I'm interested to hear who you think the people that Sorcha found are. Any yes, I do admit I do have a problem with cliffhangers, lol, but its so much fun. Thanks for reviewing!

Dawn1: Wow, I really appreciate your reviews. Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I guess we'll have to wait and see what the next chapters reveal. (This chapter doesn't exactly explain a whole lot). But I was really happy getting a review from you, so thanks!

Johnnycarnahan: lol, we'll have to wait and see how Jonathan and his love meet. But I'm sure you'll like it. I was really glad to get a review from you, so that made my day, lol. I'm happy that you're excited for the next chapter, so am I. though their consistently getting longer and longer…. Thanks again for your review!