Lord Guan Yu was out of the halls and the footsteps stopped. It was Liu Xuande (Liu Bei). He was wondering what was going on. He didn't see anything, so he stepped in the bathroom. In there, there was nothing unusual. Liu Bei was pissed because he hates spirits, and he think one is upon him. It was quiet. Then, he looked down. He saw pieces of hair. He thought it was just someone shaving his or her pubic hair.
Just noticing, he needed the bathroom, but when he looked in the toilet, he saw strands of hair. He got scared and ran outside. Then, he slipped on the barf puddle. Liu Bei was in the air, and his face landed on the puddle.
"EHHH! He screamed. "Who in the hell did this!"
After being so pissed, he ran around the castle looking for everyone to meet him in the Main Room. They all stopped what they were going and went there, confused.
In the Main Room, everyone was there except for Huang Zhong.
"….#!" grunted Liu Bei.
"What is it my lord?" asked Zhao Yun.
"Has anyone noticed the puddle next to the bathroom?" Liu Bei asked.
"Puddle? Didn't…" Ma Chao said.
Jiang Wei looked nervous and scared.
"Didn't what," asked Liu Bei.
"Never mind, I don't really remember," answered Ma Chao.
Jiang Wei sighed.
"Yeah, my lord, I remember something about it too, but I can't fully remember it," said Zhao Yun.
"Hmm? Ok? Whoever noticed the puddle, raise your hand," commanded Liu Bei.
Zhuge Liang, Yue Ying, Guan Yu, Ma Chao, Zhao Yun raised their hand. Wei Yan was still a bit sick, so he didn't really know what happened.
Zhuge saw him and asked in the language of Wei Yan, "You…see…puddle?"
"Me…saw…yellow…bucket…. water", he answered.
"Bucket, water, yellow? I got a bucket of water and yellow sponge, but that was to clean up the puddle."
"Really?" asked Liu Bei.
" Yes, I saw him. He had a bucket of water and a sponge to clean up his piss," said Yue Ying.
"What!" cried Liu Bei and Zhuge.
" I told you! I already saw it on the floor!" shouted Zhuge.
"Oh whatever! Your pants or gown whatever you wear was wet!" cried Ying.
"That's because I spilled water on my clothes!" he barked.
"Oh sure you did! Why would you clean up something that isn't yours?" she asked
He answered, " That's because…no one else would clean it, so I just wanted to help. Calm down my wife."
Yue Ying stood still, pissed.
"Ok…that kinda helped. So, since you saw the puddle, you tired to clean it, and something happened, so you left the stuff there. Then Wei Yan said that he saw the stuff there…hmm?" said Liu Bei.
"Wei Yan, what did you do with the stuff," he asked.
"I…ate…stuff…" he answered.
"That's it?" Liu Bei wondered.
"I…threw…up……went…to...find…him(Pointing to Zhuge Liang)…"
"YOU THREW UP!" Liu Bei screamed.
"Sorry…"
"That means……………UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cried Liu Bei.
"Is something wrong?" asked Zhao Yun.
"I tripped and my face landed on the…AHHHH!OMG!"
Everybody was disgusted.
"Can the people who didn't see the puddle or whatever leave?" asked Pang Tong.
"Yes. The people who didn't see anything can leave," said Liu Bei.
Zhang Fei, Pang Tong, Guan Ping, Xing Cai, and Jiang Wei left, and everyone else stayed.
"Ok. Since Zhuge Liang said that he first saw it, then Wei Yan, and Guan Yu?"
"Yes, I saw the throw up, not the puddle or whatever," replied Guan.
"What did you do?" asked Liu.
"I...ignored it."
"So…what happened to your beard?"
Liu Bei noticed that it had been shorter.
"Oh….umm…I got a it cut," hesitated Guan.
"Did you cut it in the bathroom?"
"ahh?"
"Don't lie brother."
"Ok fine! I did. I combed my bread and it just tore up! Happy?"
"Whoa…that's so rad!" exclaimed Ma Chao.
"Totally!" Zhao Yun joined in.
"Ok, said Liu Bei. That solved the hair mystery, but who started the whole thing. Ma Chao and Zhao Yun, you guys are the only ones left. Are you sure you don't remember?
"Wait...let me think…" Ma Chao said
Zhao Yun was just closing his eyes, concentrating. When Ma Chao looked at him, he began to wonder.
Hmm…I know it happened this morning. Tch…look at Zhao Yun and his sleepy eyes…makes me wanna sleep…SLEEP! OH YEAH! I woke up and there was the line, and the piss!
" My lord! I remember!" Ma Chao exclaimed.
Everyone looked at him with excitement.
" Zhao Yun, remember? You, Jiang Wei and, I were waiting in line for the bathroom, and like you guys had a fight and then Jiang Wei…"
"Took a piss on the floor," Zhao Yun continued for Ma Chao.
"OH MY GOD!" yelled everyone.
"How dare he leave this room! My brother, can you go fetch him for me?" asked Liu.
"Of course," he answered, and left the room.
"What are you gonna do to him?" Ma Chao asked Liu Bei.
"Oh…I know exactly what to do with him."
Then his eyes turned all red and small. Zhuge Liang was about to laugh his pants off but he held it. Yue Ying didn't know what was happening, Ma Chao, and Zhao Yun were scared, and Wei Yan was cleaning himself.
"LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!" yelled out Jiang Wei while being held on by Lord Guan.
"Ahh! You guys are back," said Liu Bei.
"Prime Minister! Help me!"
"After you explain to us!" screamed Zhuge.
Guan Yu let him go and he dropped to the floor.
"Jiang Wei, take a seat," requested Liu Bei.
He sat down and said, "OK! I know what I did, and I will have to face the consequences! What are they? For god sakes, it's just pee."
"Now, now…calm down. Yes, you will have to pay the consequences, but…"
"But nothing! Just tell me what to do you slowass."
"FINE! I WAS GONNA SAY ' BUT SINCE YOU ARE ONE OF MY TOP GENERALS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO' BUT SINCE YOU WERE SO EAGER TO HEAR YOUR CONCEQUENCES, I WILL TELL YOU"
"Gezz… where did you come from?"
"You consequences aren't that bad. You are to serve everyone you screwed up one day each person . Knowing that they are Zhuge Liang, Wei Yan, Guan Yu, and me, you will be punished for 4 days."
"Fine! How hard can it be to serve these buffoons? Not you Prime Minister, but everyone else."
"Ok…you will go in this order;
First Day: Zhuge Liang
Second Day: Wei Yan
Third Day: Guan Yu
Forth: Me
Your punishment will start tomorrow."
"OK!"
Everyone left the room, and Ma Chao whispered to Zhao Yun, "Dude, if he were to serve me, I would tell him to wipe my ass every time I go to the bathroom."
"You are just wrong"
Bad isn't it? I failed but I'm sure it will get better soon.