"I'll be back as soon as I can."
Veronica was gone. Lilly and Duncan watched her go, the same look of longing on their faces. She stayed as long as she could, but everything was so dangerous now. One mistake and they would see each other through Plexiglas and his child would be lost to him forever.
Veronica had left her laptop for him to use. He pulled it open and logged onto the Kane Software mainframe.
They hadn't been able to find a way to communicate, once he was across the border. Mail could be compromised, they were already sure her phone was tapped. Email accounts could be watched. They had to be careful, so careful.
He'd almost asked her to run away with him. The words had been on his lips, as they made their painstaking plans, the voice recordings, the trip to buy the boat. Every time their gazes met, every time he watched her hold Lilly in her arms. He thought again of the image of her, the one from his dreams. It wouldn't be so difficult. Safe passage and a life on the run for three instead of two.
But she wasn't meant for that life. Lilly was his responsibility. Veronica was an angel for doing as much for her as she had. It would break his heart to leave her behind, but he would.
Not without a present, though.
Veronica, like everyone else in America, had Kane streaming video software installed on her computer, automatically updating, handling her internet content. If her computer was seized in a search, no one would give it a second thought. Duncan worked his way through subdirectories and text files. Lilly cried for a bottle and he took her into his arms, rocked her gently, his mind racing.
A cookie.
Another fortune cookie.
He worked while Lilly had her bottles, her glowing eyes staring up into his; he slept when she did, fitfully, working between. He found the email she had used when the software was installed, and linked the cookie so it would download to her and only her, the next time she upgraded.
When he blinked awake the next morning Veronica was standing over them. Lilly was cuddled close to his chest, her hand wrapped around one of his fingers. She was happy to see her adopted mother, though. Veronica picked her up, and the expression on her face was almost painful to see. Dark rings under her eyes. She'd slept as little as he had.
"Later today," she whispered. "It'll be later."
He nodded, but she didn't glance up to meet his eyes. She sniffed and Lilly took Veronica's finger in her tiny fist and Duncan's heart rose in his throat. They could do this. If he asked her, if he could find the words to ask her.
Veronica reached up and swiped gently at her eyes. "Okay," she said, and handed Lilly back to Duncan. "Okay. We can do this."
"Yeah," he said faintly, and the moment was gone.
They didn't have enough time. They never had enough time. He'd known, after the first step they took, that there was no going back, but there wasn't any time to blow off the rest of the world and spend a weekend wrapped in each other's arms on a beach somewhere. No candlelight and roses for them. No time to say a tenth of what he needed to say to her. She was amazing, the most amazing person he'd ever meet, and he owed her more than he could ever repay.
After one last fierce hug she was crying and pushing him away and he had to resist the urge to just pull her down with him and hold her and never, ever let her go again.
"I love you."
"Always."
A thousand miles away, he was on his third name and Astrid was in a red wig. The hotel ice machine wasn't working. The heat was intolerable, his beard had bypassed stubbly in favor of full, and his Spanish was more than passable.
He found an internet cafe in the next city. While Astrid stocked up on formula and diapers, he dropped a handful of pesos on the counter and signed on.
The empty screen blinked at him, and he began to type.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think she's ours.