Disclaimer: I would say I own it, but then I'll get arrested and such. I really don't want to go to jail. It's bad for my record. )

A/N: Okay, first I want to thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews I received. It mad me so, so happy! Now, second of all this is the longest chapter I've ever written so enjoy!

"A Kiss for a Kiss"

Over the next couple of days when James saw Lily he was itched with the feeling to tell her of how he felt. He wanted to make her understand how much she meant to him, and how losing her would completely destroy him. Most of all, he wanted to know what she felt for him, if they could possibly move up to the next level in their relationship. However, James never did any of those things. Every time he was about to Remus' advice came to mind.

If you don't want to lose her, don't tell her. Not yet.

…

Unsure of her feelings Lily tried her best to act normal around James. She tried her best in forgetting about what had happened the day James and her had walked back from the Quidditch pitch. At the mere thought of it she would blush and think of how stupid she had felt. Lily was attracted to James, she couldn't doubt that, but she wasn't going to let her crush be known to anyone, especially James, not yet anyway.

…

"Eat something, Prongs," Sirius said while shoving food into his mouth. James shook his head.

"James, listen to Sirius. You're going to need the energy," Lily said sipping some of her pumpkin juice.

"I don't need it," James argued. Lily raised her eyebrows skeptically.

"You're playing the Slytherins," Lily pointed out.

"I know."

"You need your energy." James shook his head.

"I'm full of energy!" James argued flexing his muscles. Lily laughed.

"Of course, you're a big macho man." James winked at her.

"You know it," he said, making Lily laugh lightly.

"Just in case though. We don't want you getting tired out there."

Lily glanced down at her empty plate and back up.

"Well, I'll see you later," she said getting up from her seat. "Good luck."

"I don't need it," James said, "My team has pure talent." Lily smiled and bent down and kissed James on his cheek.

"Good luck, James."

Lily walked away not looking back. If she did she would have seen James flush a tinge of red. James smiled at Lily's retreating back and grabbed something to eat, just in case.

…

As James soared above the Quidditch pitch he heard the cheers coming from the stand. He smiled and did several summersaults in the air. James scanned the crowd of students in red and gold, finally, catching a glimpse of Lily's red hair. She saw him looking at her and waved. He waved back, and she smiled.

The whistled blew and James flew down towards the ground.

"Captains, shake hands please," Madame Hooch said. James and the Slytherin captain, Louis Lovering, stepped forward. They shook each other's hand, not forgetting to send death glare at the rivaling house. Before they let each other go from the death grip, Lovering winced a little from the pain. Inwardly, James smirked.

Madame Hooch bent down and unlatched the lock on the Quidditch chest. The snitch and bludgers went off zooming across the pitch. Madame Hooch held the quaffle in her hand.

"Let's have a fair game now!" she exclaimed. She threw up the quaffle and the game began.

Half an hour later the game was a close one. Gryffindor was only 30 points ahead, and Slytherin was gaining fast.

"Ten points to Slytherin!" the announcer exclaimed.

"Boo!" the Gryffindor supporters cried.

James tried his best getting the quaffle around the team so that they could score. He watched as one of his team mates raced towards the opponent's goals. He looked up at his seeker, who was frantically searching for the snitch.

"Come on Vaughn," he murmured.

All of a sudden he watched his seeker rush down from his spot above him. Everyone, including the players themselves, stopped and watched as both seekers raced each other towards the snitch.

"They've spotted the snitch!" cried the announcer.

"Come on!" a voice from the sea of red cried. Then the cheers for the Gryffindor seeker began. The seeker swooped up and held his hand up high above his head. In it was the golden snitch.

An eruption of cheers filled the stadiums. James thrust his hand up and screamed in joy.

"Gryffindor!" yelled the crowd. As the seeker touched the ground the Gryffindor Quidditch team all jumped on him.

…

"Party in the common room!" Sirius cried out in the locker room.

James laughed. He wrapped his towel around him as he stepped out of the shower.

"You go on up first, Padfoot," James told Sirius, "I'll catch up with you later."

"See you." James heard the door slam shut. James smiled a triumph smile as he thought about the victory.

"The Gryffindor team brings in another victory. What a wonderful captain they have! James Potter, a wonderful chaser and captain!" he acted out in front of the mirror.

"James!" Lily's voice came floating into the room.

"Lily?"

"Where are you?"

"Don't come in!" he cried.

"Why not?" Lily asked as she came into view. She looked at James in nothing but his towel and screamed. She quickly covered her eyes with her hands.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know you…uh… just came out of the shower."

James couldn't stop himself from flushing red. He noticed that even behind her hands Lily was embarrassed.

"It's okay. I should have told you sooner."

"I'll just be leaving. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah," James agreed.

James watched Lily leave with her hands still covering her eyes.

…

The party in the common room soon got out of control. Fire whiskey was distributed all around the room. Many people got drunk and were doing outrageous things. When James got to the party he couldn't find Lily so he decided to shrug it off.

"James, take this!" Sirius shouted over the music. James popped the cap off of his fire whiskey and took a big gulp. The fire whiskey washed down his throat and burned a little, but he really didn't mind.

"Good game, Potter," someone told him patting him on the back. James smiled and took another sip of his fire whiskey.

…

"James," cooed a voice in his ear. James unsteadily turned around and looked at the person behind him.

"Camille," James murmured.

"You played a good game today," Camille told him while brushing her fingers lightly against his arm.

"Thanks," he said. James sat down on the couch, and Camille sat right next to him.

"You're so amazing. I would feel so lucky to have someone like you in my life."

James turned to look at her. His eyes were a little blurry, and his head hurt a little.

"James?" Camille asked.

"Hmmm," James said.

Camille pressed her lips against his. James, drunk, just responded. Temporarily, he forgot about the red head girl with green eyes he vowed he loved. He was kissing Camille Baker on the couch in the Gryffindor Common Room.

…

Lily watched from the stairs. James and Camille. Potter and Baker. Lily shivered. She was so utterly confused. James and Camille were together? Why are they kissing? Lily watched her world shattered around her. James, the guy she had befriended this year had turned around and stabbed her in the heart. Lily's self confidence dropped. And I was going to confess tonight.

Tears threatened to spill out, and it took all of her will to stop it. Lily fingered her wand in her pocket, contemplating whether or not she should curse Baker into oblivion. How she would love to.

"Lily." Allie tapped her on the shoulder. Lily turned around. Tears glistened the surface of her green eyes that seemed to have dulled.

"You okay?" Allie asked her gently. Lily shook her head and smiled. Lily looked back towards the couch and looked back at Allie.

"I'm going to go look for Alice, k?"

"Sure," Allie said nodding. Lily walked away. Allie looked at her retreating back before looking towards the couch where Lily had looked before. Then all of a sudden Allie understood. Lily was hiding a secret, and her life had just shattered.

…

The next morning, James woke up with a horrible hangover.

"Prongs! Wake up!" Sirius screamed. James buried his head into his pillow and groaned.

"Padfoot, shut up!" James cried in desperation.

Sirius threw off James' covers and jumped onto the bed. James groaned again.

"What do you want!"

"How was she?"

"What do you mean?"

"Baker," Sirius asked, "from a scale of zero to ten how's her kissing?"

"How should I know?"

"You kissed her."

"What?" James screamed jolting up from his bed. "Who did I kiss?"

"Baker."

"Shit!" he screamed. "Why didn't anyone stop me?" Sirius shrugged.

"I hope no one saw me," James groaned like his life was ruined.

…

"Did you see that kiss?" Alice asked Lily the next morning at breakfast.

"What kiss?"

Behind Lily, Allie was making gestures trying to tell Alice to stop talking about it, but Alice didn't get it and continued.

"Between Baker and James," Alice said.

"Yeah," Lily said indifferently, but insides she was a mess. How could she not be? She picked at her food. She wasn't that hungry anymore.

"You guys want to go out?" Lily asked all of a sudden.

"Now?" Allie asked. Lily shook her head.

"Sure." They got up from their seats and headed for the grounds. As they walked out of the Grand Hall, the Marauders walked in.

"Hey Lily," James greeted.

Lily walked by him, pretending she didn't hear.

Maybe she didn't hear me. James thought hopefully.

…

For a week, Lily avoided James at all cost. She wasn't sure she could face him. She hadn't shed one tear for him since the party, and she was planning not to. She was going to hold her head up high and be strong.

James getting increasingly frustrated at Lily would sometime shout for her down the hall, but she never did respond. Head Meetings had not been held for several days now and patrol was done separately. James tried his best to confront her, but his best didn't seem like enough. He decided to catch her without her notice and get her to talk to him. He was beginning to miss their relationship, even if they were just friends.

…

Lily was coming back from the library by herself when James came out of nowhere and stood in front of her.

"What?" she asked.

"We need to talk," James said.

"We have nothing to talk about," she told him truthfully and tried walking past him. He grabbed her wrist and held on.

"Lily…"

"Only friends call me that, and you're definitely not a friend," Lily snapped at him her green eyes all fired up. James sighed.

"Evans, we have to figure this out."

"I will not go anywhere with you, Potter." James winced at the sound of his surname.

"Yes, you will." He dragged her to the Room of Requirements and closed the door behind them. Lily wretched her hand away from his grasp and held it close to her. She glared at him from where she was standing.

"Let me out!" she exclaimed.

"No," James answered like it was simple question. "I will not."

"Let me out!" Lily cried getting angry. "I don't want to even be in the same room as you no more!"

Unmoved, James waited for her to finish her little rant. Lily gasped for some breathe.

"Lily, you have to understand I was…" James started.

"I understand completely. I saw it with my own eyes," Lily interrupted. "I understand completely."

"Then you know it was a mistake," James said.

"Don't lie, Potter," Lily said spitefully. She pointed her index finger at him and jabbed it towards him like a threatening weapon.

"I trusted you and became your friend. I thought I meant more to you then I now know. You betrayed me!" Lily accused. She felt all her emotions melt together. Anger, helplessness, sadness, and withering self esteem all meld into one.

"Listen..."James said trying to explain.

"I don't want to listen!" Lily cried out covering her ears.

James stepped forward and pulled Lily's hands down to her sides. She fought back, trying hard to make him let go.

"I hope you and Baker have a happy life together," she said straight to his face.

"Jealous?" James asked all of a sudden angry at the how hard headed Lily was being. Lily laughed.

"No," she lied.

"I think you're mad at me because I was kissing her instead of you," he accused her. He took a step towards her.

"That's a lie!" she exclaimed in her own defense.

"Admit it, Evans," he said, "you're jealous that you weren't the one I kissed."

Lily shook her head. "Why would I be jealous of her? I don't want you to kiss me. It's the last thing in the world I would want."

"Are you sure?" James asked.

"Of course, I'm sure!" she exclaimed.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I did this would you?" he asked, but before Lily could answer his lips were against her. Lily fought back at first, but she slowly lost herself. How was she supposed to withstand the kisses of the guy she was attracted to?

All the passion they held for each other was released. Lily gently pressed her lips against his. His hands gently played with her hair that dangled between his fingers. Her hands seemed to draw little circles around his neck. Lily could smell his cologne and tried memorizing it. Her eyes closed, she felt complete for once. James lightly pulled away from her and stood there holding her in his arms. He stared at her lovingly, she stared at him.

If you don't want to lose her, don't tell her. Not yet.

"I love you, Lily."

Lily stared into James' eyes. She saw everything she ever wanted, a perfect man, and that was the problem.

Lily broke free from James' embrace and took a step away from him.

"I can't," she said, not brave enough to say it to his face. James stared at her. His face was blank, all his emotions well hidden. He took in her perfect hair, her green eyes, and every little thing that made her seem so special to him. Lily turned around to leave. Her face contorted in an effort to try not to cry. She opened the door. James didn't object. He stood there watching her, almost daring her to leave, to leave him. Lily looked back at him and closed the door shut. James watched her leave.

Maybe we're really not meant for each other.

…

Perfect. Lily hated that word. James was too good for her. He was flawless. She was a complete mess. She felt like she wasn't worth anything.

James could find better.

I'm not on the same level as he is. I'm not beautiful enough, smart enough, or perfect enough.

That night Lily cried. She had went against herself and cried because of James. She had cried because James was too good for her, and that she was a no body. Even her father said so. Lily didn't bother wiping the tears off her red, puffy face. She wasn't going to bother. It was no use any way.

A/n: OKAY! DON"T KILL ME! I know this was the chapter most of you guys thought were going to be The chapter. Sorry, to disappoint, but this chapter plays an important part in the whole story. If you don't get why Lily doesn't think she deserves James read the first chapter over.

Questions: People have been wondering if Lily's father would be mentioned again and I won't say anything. It would ruin the story. ;)

Reviewers: You guys rock my socks. Review! It makes me want to write more!