Disclaimer: JKR owns HP.

A/N: Hello people, thanks for the reviews. I loved them, made me really, really happy. Some parts of this chapter may seem irrelevant, but it's good to look back. ;)

"Memories"

Lily's POV

My heart was shattered. He had moved on, and I was but a distant love, a friend. He was not to be blamed, though. I was the one to be blamed for my own pain.

He had always been persistent, never gave up even after my many rejections. Sometimes, I remembered wondering if it was possible that he was more stubborn then I. I remembered wondering if he would ever give up, ever get the hint, but the answer back then was always, no. But I guess the painful truth is, no matter how stubborn a person is, no matter how persistent, there was always a breaking point. A point where a person voluntarily gives up all hope and just does their best to forget, James had reached that point.

He had loved me once and that was good enough for me, to know that I've been loved by someone as special to me as him. He had touched my heart, taught me things I thought I would never learn, never experience. He changed me for the better, and I had no way to repay him. I doubt he even knows he changed be that much.

He's my first love, and he holds a special place in my heart. If it is destined for someone else to be the one to make him happy, and not me, I will accept that fate. For the past couple of months he made me happy, the happiest I felt in a long, long time. If he's happy with Michelle, then I'm happy for him. He deserves a lot of things, and if that girl can give it to him, I'll allow myself to fade into the background to become a wall flower. I'll be satisfied with one of those charming, full hearted smile he gives off that makes a room light up. Maybe, later when I forget and move on, I'll find someone to do just the same, someone who will love me for being me and for the flaws that distinguish me from the perfect. He is willing to love me whole heartedly, with no hesitation.

I gave up James, I could have fought for him, but would that had made him truly happy. After all, love is being able to sacrifice one's own happiness for their love ones'.

…

Allie and Alice grabbed their trunks and rolled it forward, but Lily stood there soaking in the site and people. This was really the last time she'll ever take the Hogwarts' train to, well, Hogwarts. Lily's eyes darted from one end of the platform to the other passing first year students, friends catching up with each other, a guy leaning against a wall…

Lily eyes flew back to the guy she just passes. She couldn't believe. It was James Potter. She didn't even recognize him at first. James grew a couple more inches, he was more built, and he wasn't causing any mayhem. Lily stood there gaping at him. Lily didn't know how she knew, but she knew somehow James had changed, more mature in a way.

…

Maybe James did change. Maybe we can actually be friends.

…

Lily watched Remus creep up on the hysterical James and pushed him into the lake as well. She heard his scream of surprise when he hit the water, and she laughed along with the rest of the Marauders.

…

"Potter, we have to have a meeting."

"Sure," he said, "name the place and time."

"Tonight at 7, in the Head's Common Room."

"Fine with me."

James walked away from Lily who was watching his retreating back.

"Don't be late, Potter!"

"Wouldn't dream of it, Evans!"

Lily smiled.

…

"You're not so bad. I think we can actually be friends, Potter."

He turned to look at her and smiled.

"James, Lily, the name's James."

Lily laughed.

"Well, James, I'll see you later," she said.

"Don't miss me too much," Lily joked.

He laughed and walked out of the door, but before he closed the door he said to Lily, "Already missing you, Lily."

…

"Rock," I said.

"Paper," James responded, "and it beats rock."

"No fair!" I protested. "You cheated!"

James laughed at me. "Lily, I won, accept it!"

"Never!" I giggled.

…

"Always a charmer," Lily said a hint of jealousy hidden behind her voice. James just looked at her.

"Jealous?" Sirius whispered into her ear smirking. Lily hit him across the head and glared. He laughed it off. "Denial isn't good for your health," he said.

"Shut up," Lily said scowling.

…

"What? Do I have something on my face?" he joked.

Lily shook her head feeling heat rise up to her face at being caught looking. He laughed.

"We better go in," Lily commented. She began to walk away from James' protective arm.

"Lily, wait," he cried out. She turned around confused. He took a step towards her. They were close enough that if he wanted to he could kiss her. Lily felt her stomach flutter. Her heart beat increased, and she felt like she couldn't speak even if she wanted to.

"Yes," she said unsteadily.

James looked down at her, peering into her green eyes. His fingers gently brushed her skin. Lily didn't breathe and just stared at James. She felt his hand reach up for something on her head.

"There was something in you hair," he said holding up a red leaf.

Lily blushed lightly.

"Oh, thanks."

"We better get in soon. It's getting dark."

Lily just nodded and together they walked the remaining steps back inside.

…

"James!" Lily's voice came floating into the room.

"Lily?"

"Where are you?"

"Don't come in!" he cried.

"Why not?" Lily asked as she came into view. She looked at James in nothing but his towel and screamed. She quickly covered her eyes with her hands.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know you…uh… just came out of the shower."

James couldn't stop himself from flushing red. He noticed that even behind her hands Lily was embarrassed.

"It's okay. I should have told you sooner."

"I'll just be leaving. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah," James agreed.

James watched Lily leave with her hands still covering her eyes.

…

"I hope you and Baker have a happy life together," she said straight to his face.

"Jealous?" James asked all of a sudden angry at the how hard headed Lily was being. Lily laughed.

"No," she lied.

"I think you're mad at me because I was kissing her instead of you," he accused her. He took a step towards her.

"That's a lie!" she exclaimed in her own defense.

"Admit it, Evans," he said, "you're jealous that you weren't the one I kissed."

Lily shook her head. "Why would I be jealous of her? I don't want you to kiss me. It's the last thing in the world I would want."

"Are you sure?" James asked.

"Of course, I'm sure!" she exclaimed.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I did this would you?" he asked, but before Lily could answer his lips were against her. Lily fought back at first, but she slowly lost herself. How was she supposed to withstand the kisses of the guy she was attracted to?

All the passion they held for each other was released. Lily gently pressed her lips against his. His hands gently played with her hair that dangled between his fingers. Her hands seemed to draw little circles around his neck. Lily could smell his cologne and tried memorizing it. Her eyes closed, she felt complete for once. James lightly pulled away from her and stood there holding her in his arms. He stared at her lovingly, she stared at him.

…

"I love you, Lily."

…

Lily took another sip of her fire whiskey and felt it run down her throat, leaving a burning sensation. Lily's head was spinning.

"Lily?" Sirius asked.

Lily turned around and saw double. She held her hand to her head and groaned.

"I'm not feeling to well, Siriussssssss," Lily slurred. Sirius took a seat next to her and automatically Lily placed her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes and hummed a soft melody.

"You really shouldn't be drinking so much, Lily," Sirius said. His forehead creased with worry.

"I'm going to have a horrible hangover tomorrow, won't I?" she asked as she slowly got up. She was unsteady and everything kept spinning.

"Wee!" she exclaimed, drunk as the world around her spun uncontrollably and she followed.

"Lily, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Shit." Lily said, "I think I'm going to be sick!"

Lily knelt down and threw up. When she was done she fell to the ground, completely out. Sirius whispered an incantation and the vomit disappeared. He picked Lily up and carried her back to the house where the party was slowly dieing down. He was going to have to bring her to Alice's house himself with the state she was in.

Sirius looked down at the sleeping Lily. Her head cuddle against him.

Lily unconsciously whispered, "James." Nobody heard the soft cry, but if one did hear it, no one would be able to deny that the whisper came from someone deeply in love.

A/N: How was it? Please review.

AHHH, I can't believe there are only 3 CHAPTERS LEFT!

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