Title: I'll Return…..Someday: Chapter 3
Author: JadeHeart
Located/Archived: Found on If anyone would like it, please ask me first!
Fandom: Space: Above & Beyond
Rating: M
Created: December 2005
Warnings: violence, angst,
Timeline: Not sure exactly when. Just somewhere in the middle of the season I guess.
Characters: Wildcards/McQueen/Kitra and a cast of other OCs)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they belong to the creators of 'Space: Above & Beyond', nor am I making any profits from this.
Chapter 3
They crowded round the ready room. Maps were spread over the table, microfilm ran through pinpointing areas that Kitra would mark. The ten fighters watched carefully and listened closely to Kitra's comments.
"So that's it." She finally said, looking up. "It's not going to be easy. The main job is getting to the main reactor. We'll be spread thinly as it is, so I'll take that. If I go down, Van's second." The 58th looked at each other briefly as Kitra casually spoke of her possible death. Her own people said nothing.
"Vansen and Hawkes, you're with me. With three of us, we should be able to set the charges and get out faster than originally anticipated." She looked at them all intently. "Remember, we get in, do the job and get out. Nothing more. Watch your backs, and your buddy's. Once you're done in your section, get back to the ship. Dana, keep a careful watch. They patrol regularly down there. If necessary, take the ship up and come back for us. Use your judgement. But don't let the ship be taken." Blonde Dana nodded, her arm still in a sling.
"The rest of you. We'll meet at this location. There's enough rock to provide cover and scramble any sensor readings. Don't make for the ship on your own. Unless things really blow up in our faces. Understood?" Everyone nodded. "Right. Take your copies of the area and study them. You have to know them inside out. We won't be taking them with us and there's no room for taking a wrong turn. That's all."
The group broke up then, each moving away with papers clutched in their hands. Kitra remained standing at the table, staring down at the diagrams before her. The rest of her crew departed with the 58th. A slight movement in the shadows told Kitra she wasn't alone. Looking up, she saw Hawkes approach her.
"Yes, Lieutenant?"
"What are you thinking?" he asked forthrightly.
"How many will come back." was her reply as she looked back down.
"But you've planned this. Nothing's going to go wrong."
"Of course, it can." she answered, glancing up. "And will. I can't see the future. I can only try and plan for every contingency that I can see. There will always be something else." she looked back down at the maps. "There's always the possibility some of you won't make it." Hawkes noted that she no longer separated the 58th from 'her people'. They had all become hers.
"Aren't you going to have a break?"
She straightened up. "When I'm satisfied."
"You've done all you can."
She shook her head. "I feel that I'm missing something. Something important." She rubbed her hand across her eyes wearily. She hadn't slept much in the last couple of days.
Hawkes noticed how tired she looked. "Look, you have to rest. You've not going to be any good to us if your reactions are slowed down from lack of sleep. You can barely stand."
She looked up at him. He was expecting her to tell him to mind his own business, when she surprised him by smiling. "You're right." she agreed, straightening again and stretching.
Hawkes couldn't help but notice that she had a very good figure. He may be a 'tank', but he could still appreciate a beautiful girl, which was exactly what Kitra was.
"Bel used to always badger me about resting. Guess I need someone to remind me of those things."
"Well then, come and have something to eat and drink, and get some rest."
"Alright." she said, rolling the paper work up. "Join me?"
"Sure."
Instead of going to the mess hall, she led them to her quarters. She opened the door and waved Hawkes inside. She had been allocated a room to herself as she was a commander of a team. The table was covered with maps, and various other bits of paper as well as computer disks. She brushed some aside to clear a space and punched an order through to the galley, before lifting the lid of a box and taking something out.
"Drink?" she asked, turning to him holding a bottle with an amber liquid inside. He nodded, and soon two cups were before him and she poured a generous measure into each. Sealing the bottle again, she lifted one cup in salute as he did the same.
"To the mission." she said quietly.
"To the mission." he affirmed, then downed a swallow. He began to choke and his eyes watered. Kitra let out a laugh, probably the first he had ever heard her make.
"Take it gently. It's pretty potent." She continued to smile at him, then chuckled again. "You should see your face." she said with humour. He wiped his streaming eyes and took a more careful sip. The alcoholic content was pretty high in whatever he was drinking.
"Don't they teach you how to drink in the military, Lieutenant?" she asked, topping their drinks up.
"Must have got skipped in the basic training." he answered. "And call me Coop. The others do" She nodded acceptance. "What rank are you?" he asked. "We've never found out."
"That's because I don't have one." was her surprising answer. "At least, not really."
"What?"
She shook her head. "I'm not military."
"Then how come..." his question trailed off.
"I'm given missions by the military, that I can get supplies and repairs from them, and I can be arrogant enough to tell them to shove their orders?" she said with an amused smile.
Coop shrugged. "Yeah."
"It's a long story."
"I've got nothing to do." he prodded. This was the first time that she truly seemed human.
"Okay." she agreed, taking a sip. "I guess I need to start with how I ended up fighting in the first place. Gods, that seems like such a long time ago." She took another drink.
"Bel and I grew up on a rural terra-forming planet. Rather primitive by most standards but we enjoyed that life, but it wasn't enough for us. We wanted to see other worlds and other cultures. So we took on freighter duty. When the Chigs turned up, Bel and I were off-planet, signed on the same freighter run. We couldn't get back home and the ship was forced down on another planet the Chigs were occupying. As soon as the freighter hit the ground they were all over it, like ants, shooting anything that moved. Bel and I were the only ones to get off alive, and only because we knew the only way to survive was to run and then lay low. Having grown up with little technology and amongst the natural vegetation, we knew how to make good use of the cover provided. Who would have thought all those years of playing hide-and-seek as kids would pay off now?
We got as far away from the crash as we could, and eventually found a group of survivors from the planet. They were all sorts; men, women, children. Some just wanted to survive, glad to just be alive and willing to live like rats in the hills, but a small group wanted to actually try and fight back. They thought that if they could make things bad enough for the Chigs, that they would up and leave. And if they didn't, they would still be able to raid and get better equipment for the survivors. So they formed their own make-shift guerrilla band.
Bel and I teamed up with them. We thought they would be our best bet of being able to get off that planet and try and get home. As we were the youngest, we were looked upon as just kids, expected to follow orders, without asking why." she smiled at him as she knew he would be thinking of all the times she had demanded that same attitude from them. "So we were brushed off at first. Until they realised that Bel and I were the only ones with some know-how in that kind of fighting. They were all city folk. They didn't know the first thing about living in the wild. Or fighting in it. So they started to listen. Sometimes." She took another drink, staring off into space.
"One day the leader wanted to lead them into a job that Bel and I knew couldn't work. We told them it wouldn't and why, but that time they wouldn't listen. For the first time, Bel and I refused to go. We didn't see any reason to die for someone else's stupidity.
We waited for two days, and then three people returned. Three out of more than forty. One died within a couple of hours, another was going to be touch and go. The third had lost an arm and was blind in one eye. He basically told us what we knew would happen. Most of the group was killed almost immediately, but then he told us of some who were captured. As far as he knew, they were still alive. We decided we couldn't leave them there. We felt guilty for not going. We knew it was going to be a suicide mission, and it was common-sense to not go, but it still felt like we had run out. So we went in after them." She poured another drink.
"We found about twenty survivors in the Chigs camp. Ten of them made it out with us. The Chigs were right on our tails the whole time. As most of the people weren't in very good shape, it came down to Bel and I to plan our escape. We gave orders and we made them obey. There was no room for arguments. Since the Chigs were following us, we decided they wouldn't think that we would head back towards their camp. So we split into two groups - Bel leading the majority away, keeping just ahead of the Chigs, I grabbed a few of the more able bodied people who knew about ships and we doubled back. Our luck held out. We got a ship up, rendezvoused with Bel and his group, and got the hell out of there.
We found the nearest planet that was abandoned to hole up. There wasn't one of us that wasn't injured, so it gave us time to heal. During that time Bel and I were still in charge, for want of a better word. The group just accepted that we were handling everything. We found out who knew what, who was suitable for which tasks, who picked up new tasks quicker and with better accuracy, and allocated them to that position. We taught them how we fight; guerrilla tactics, dirty tricks, anything. We taught them all the hunting tricks that we had been taught by our parents. We all got better, and we all learnt. When we left there, we were a team." She gave a half smile.
"It's funny, but not one of us thought about trying to go home at that point. The others only had an occupied planet to return to, where the Chigs were hunting them down. Bel and I just never considered it again. Those ten other people were now our family. We never consciously decided to fight the Chigs, or to form a team to do that. It just happened. We all had grudges against the Chigs, and we could fight better as a group than individually.
So that's how it started. On our next attack, we dumped the freighter we had and grabbed a faster ship. That's 'Predator'. It's taken a hell of a battering over time, but we couldn't have asked for a better ship. We just kept moving from place to place. We could pick up most military communications. Kez is real good with computers. That way we could keep track of what was happening, what the hot spots were, and where to go where we could cause the most damage. We didn't have anything to do with the military. We didn't talk to them, or ask for information, we just did our own thing.
Then on one job we happened to spring some soldiers who had got stranded. They had orders to download some data from an installation that we were going to blow. They were so ill-equipped for the job. Imagine putting desk jockeys in the middle of a war zone. They wouldn't know a tree if it came up and kicked them. They seemed to realise they were a little ill-prepared as well, as they asked us to help. We agreed, so sat down and worked it out with them. They were surprised that I happened to be in charge, but didn't argue about it. The end result was that we did the job, and got out intact.
We took them back to their base, where we were debriefed. Then they tried to order us around. We informed them we were all civilians and not subject to their orders. That took them aback. They assumed we were some form of army specialists. Then they wanted to know who had trained us, where we had come from, and so on. They homed in on Bel and I as being responsible for the training, so we were bombarded day and night. The questions they asked! They practically wanted to know what we ate each day! Finally, we had enough and said we were leaving. At first, they refused to let us go. When we threatened to set of a limpet mine if they didn't, they changed their minds. That's when they offered to make us admirals and generals if we stayed. We could join the regular army! We just laughed. What did we want with the military?
Finally, someone with a brain asked would we act as a specialist branch of the military. We still run ourselves, but if the military have an operation that they believe needs our 'expertise', could they count on our support. We talked among ourselves and agreed - to a point. It meant we could get repairs and supplies when we needed it, and we still had the final word on what goes down and how." She removed the food from the dumb waiter and sat down again, picking up some cheese.
"They still try and railroad us from time to time, hoping we'll give in, I guess, but most of the time they leave us alone. I won't deny it hasn't been handy having a bit of additional back up."
"How did they handle having to deal with you?"
"You mean, because I'm not only female but probably young enough to be their daughter and in some cases, grand-daughter?"
"Yeah."
She snorted. "They hated it! At first they were determined to believe that one of the others was the real commander, and I was just used as a front man. It wasn't until I crashed one of their strategy meetings and I rubbed their noses in the fact that I knew what I was talking about, that they began to accept me. After that I was given a nominal rank as Commander. To solve problems when I have to deal with any military personnel."
"But if you weren't trained, how did you learn all this? The tactics, strategy, planning."
She shrugged. "Most of it's common-sense. The rest is fore-planning. You try and put yourself in the enemy's position and determine what would he do. You ask yourself, 'If you do this, what will be his reaction?'. The plan that causes the least reaction is the one you use. You look for all the possibilities." she shrugged again. "Van says that I'm a natural. Some people can just see it all and can plan accordingly, others can't. I don't know if I am or not. All I know is that I can do it. That's why they follow me. They're confident that if I send them into something I've thoroughly thought it out, and I'm picking the best possible choice. They also know that I don't guarantee their survival. I can just give them their best shot."
"Do you think about dieing?"
She took another drink. "Not really. I guess I accept that I will, sooner or later. I've seen my people go down, one by one. Sooner or later, I'll be the one. We've gone from twelve to seven, we're now down to five. That's why I've taught my people everything I can think of." she laughed grimly. "They just about think like me now so they'll manage if I'm not there."
Coop shook his head. "I still just find it hard to believe. They follow you so unswervingly. They have no doubts about you."
"In our business, we can't afford to doubt each other. The slightest hesitation can kill you, or everyone around you. We've all had to trust our lives with each other at one point or another. That brings people pretty close together. You Wildcards are no different."
"But there's only five of you left."
She looked into her cup. "I know. We'll have to take on small jobs now. We don't have the man power to do what we used to."
"Train some more."
"It wouldn't work. It would take too long to integrate them, and we don't have the time."
"You trained us."
She looked up. "You all had some fighting background, and still look at the problems there. Remember, those that would have some of the skills needed, are already in the military and wouldn't be able to join us. Our only chance would be to find some other rebel group who fight the way we do, and try and integrate the teams. That can cause problems also." she shook her head. "I don't know. We'll have to see what the future brings. First, we've got to get through this mission."
"We will."
"Hope so."
"Keep going!" Kitra shouted, spurring Vansen and Hawkes on, limping along behind them. They ran as fast as they could to put distance between the ticking charges and the ever increasing explosions.
Kitra felt a hard blow to her side that knocked her off her feet. She rolled in the dirt, coming up against a support. Gasping, she tried to pull her self up, but her strength failed her. Breathing hard, and leaning against some twisted metal, she looked down at her side. Beneath the open jacket, a spreading darkness showed the cause. She gritted her teeth as she attempted to rise again, but it was useless. The wound in her leg had been hazardous enough in itself. This second was pumping blood out even faster, and she could feel herself weakening as the seconds ticked away. Well, this is it, she couldn't help thinking to herself, as she reached up to her headset and switched to a secure channel. Another explosion rocked the complex, and flames drew closer.
"Van?" she shouted above the increasing noise. "Van!"
"Kit!" came the reply.
"Your call." she said.
"What..?"
"Your call!" and she then deliberately switched off completely. A slight sound to her right was all the warning she had to raise her gun and shoot the Chig that had appeared through the flames. She waited to see if others would follow, but none appeared. Dragging herself painfully, she positioned herself between two silos, allowing her to see around her yet still providing some protection. Although she thought it was more likely that she would die of blood loss or be burnt to death by the fire, than being shot by the Chigs.
Hawkes and Vansen arrived at the rendezvous, blackened with ash and breathless. Van took note of them.
"Let's move out." he said quickly.
Hawkes looked around and then behind him. "Wait a minute. Kit."
Van looked at him. "She's out."
"What?" Hawkes said grabbing Van's arm. "She was right behind us!"
"She called me." Van said, jerking his arm away. "She said she's out." He began to move away.
"You can't leave her!" Hawkes shouted to him.
Van spun round to face him. "I owe it to her to get you all away safe! Now, move it!"
Habit made them all obey, and they raced for the ship. Dana had it fired up and ready to leave, crouched at the door, gun in hand, watching the surrounding night for signs of danger. They began to pile in upon reaching it.
"Where's Kit?" she asked, her quick glance confirming that their leader was not among them. Van gave a quick shake of his head.
"You can't leave her!" Hawkes said, grabbing hold of Van again. "Look, I know she called you, which means she was alive. She could still be alive! We've got to try!"
"If there was any chance, she wouldn't have called! There's no way!" Van began.
"What about the headsets?" Hawkes said, spinning to look at Damphousse. "Can we pick up the channel they work on? Use it like a homing beacon?"
"It's possible." Vanessa agreed. "But not very trustworthy."
"Look, I'll go back. I'll find her. You track us with the headsets. If you don't hear from me in seven minutes, then you go."
"That would mean leaving you here." Van said.
"If you don't hear from me it will mean I'm dead anyway."
Van looked around at them all, seeing the consensus on every face. None of them wanted to leave Kitra behind, least of all him. "What the hell! I don't want to command. Okay, you've got seven minutes to the second. We'll be waiting. Go!"
With a leap, Hawkes was gone running into the night. "Take us up, Dana. Vanessa, get the gear rigged up. Let's move!"
Hawkes raced towards the flames rising into the sky. He had surprised two Chig patrols already and could see more moving in the distance. He knew the time was ticking away and he still hadn't found Kitra. He refused to think that he wouldn't find her. She was there, still alive somewhere. With her last breath, she would be fighting to keep the rest of them alive. She wouldn't die until she knew they were safe.
He detoured around the inferno before him, retracing his steps, knowing she would be there somewhere. Then, as the flames parted for a moment, he saw her, wedged between two silos, the flames almost touching her, as she lined up another Chig in her sights and fired. He ducked and rolled, coming up to shoot down the remaining two Chigs, before turning to her. She looked up at him with a pale face smudged with ash.
"Hawkes! What the hell are you doing here! Get out!" she pushed feebly at his hand.
"Not without you."
"I told Van to get you all out!"
"We had another plan."
"You fools! Van should have taken the call!"
"Come on."
She grimaced. "Can't walk. Do you think I've been sitting here for my health!"
Hawkes reached up and keyed the headset. "Predator, I've got her. Do you hear me? I've got her." Straining he could faintly hear the reply.
"We've got a fix on you. Get ready."
He reached down and hauled her to her feet, noticing the wound in her leg. As he threw her arm around his shoulder, he suddenly felt himself pushed down and she fired over his head, taking the Chig full in the chest. She wavered and seemed about to fal, as he grabbed her again, and began dragging her away, both of them with guns at the ready and watching for danger. A spot of light in the sky showed the Predator dropping towards them.
Firing their guns, Hawkes and Kitra charged the Chig patrol to reach the ship. They would have been cut down but the doors of Predator swished open and the others opened fire. Hawkes nearly threw Kitra inside whilst hands reached out to haul him inside.
"Go, go!" Van shouted, helping Kitra to her feet. They sped towards open space. All around them, Chig ships appeared, sending out blazing streaks of destruction.
"Two destroyers coming in. Co-ordinates 334.6 and 448.9!" Kez shouted, hanging on tightly as Predator rocked with the concussion blast.
"Shields are buckling!" Van called out.
"We can't get past those destroyers!" Dana shouted.
Another blast rocked them and Kitra stumbled forward, grabbing hold of the back of Kez's seat. "Go to point. Take us through that gap, and then swing to port, 62 degrees."
"That will take us right between them!" Dana said in disbelief.
"Exactly. So neither can fire on us."
"Unless they get us during the manoeuvre!"
"Then make sure they don't!" Kitra snapped, staring at Dana.
Dana pursed her lips then turned back to her controls. "Right!"
With no further discussion, Dana and Kez set the course and Predator dodged the blasts, attempting to slip between the two ships.
"That one's going to fire. Our shields can't take it!"
"Hold course, Dana!" Kitra leant down next to Kez's ear. "When I give the word, full power only to the front port shield. Everything - including life support."
Kez looked up at her for a moment, as she stared intently at the ships in front of them, before turning back to the instruments. "Right." His fingers flew across the board before him, programming in their requirements.
Kitra watched. She knew which ship would open fire first, it was her sixth sense that told her, her sixth sense that had kept them alive on more than one occasion. She could feel the blood continuing to seep from her side, her singlet soaked by it, as well as her trouser leg. It was amazing that the body could hold so much. She felt a little light-headed. Is this what dying felt like, she wondered. She continued to watch the enemy ships. Around her, she could hear her people and the 58th monitoring the instruments, contacting the Saratoga, but there was only the ships before her that she was interested in. She could feel Kez sitting there, poised over his console, waiting for her word.
There was no physical sign to warn her. She just knew. "Now!" she whispered harshly.
Kez switched on the pre-set programme. The lights dimmed inside and the air suddenly went still as life support switched off. The impact was tremendous, and it rocked the ship. Tearing sounds reached them, and for one moment they all thought they would die, expecting the ship to rip itself apart and spill them into space. Then the emergency lights came on and the air stirred faintly, as they shot between the two ships and out into clear space.
They reached the Saratoga; dirty, tired, but relieved. Colonel McQueen was there waiting for them, anxious to see who returned. They all piled out, looking wrung out. Kitra took a deep breath as she faced the task of exiting the ship. Her vision was fading in and out, and her body felt leaden.
McQueen surveyed them all. "Get cleaned up and rested. You've done well."
They all began to move away, when they heard a thud. Turning, they saw Kitra sprawled on the deck, a growing patch of red spreading around her. Hawkes was the first to reach her, rolling her over and raising her up. Doing so made the jacket fall open, revealing the gaping, bloody wound in her side. Hawkes reached out with a shaking hand.
"Gods! No wonder she couldn't make it!" Futilely, he pressed his hand over the wound, seeking to stop the flow, but feeling it seeping between his fingers, knowing that her life was slipping away before him.
"Medic!" West shouted into an intercom.
The 58th sat quietly in the rec room. Kitra's people were there also. The room had the atmosphere of a funeral. The door opened quietly.
"The morgue's more lively than this place," the voice said from the doorway. They all looked up, startled to see Kitra framed there.
"Kit!" Van shouted and raced towards her, lifting her in a bear hug, the rest of her people not far behind.
"For gods sakes, Van! You'll bust the stitches!" she cried out.
"I'm sorry!" he said, concern showing on his face.
She smiled at him weakly. "It's alright. I'm alright. A little weak, and I look like I've been attacked by a sewing machine, but I'm fine."
"You had us worried." West put in with a smile.
She shook his proffered hand. "I had myself worried." She then turned to face Van with a stern expression. "And just what sort of fool stunt were you trying to pull back there!" she began. Van took a step back. "You're my second. If I go down, you're supposed to do the right thing by the rest and get them out. You know better than to risk their lives for sentimentality. I thought I had trained you better than that!"
"Hey! It wasn't Van's idea, it was mine." Hawkes put in.
She rounded on him. "Wrong! It was Van's call! It was his responsibility!" she turned back to Van. "Well?"
He shrugged, "We were all in agreement, Kit. We weren't going to leave you there when there was the chance you were still alive. Hawkes came up with a sound plan, so we tried it. It worked."
"That is not the point, and you know it! You should have got them all to safety!"
"Kit, it's no good berating Van. We were all in it." Kez put in. "You've got us out alive enough times that we all owed you one. It was our chance to pay you back."
"Besides," Van put in with a lop-sided smile. "I didn't fancy being in command. You're better at it."
She looked at them all and shook her head slowly. "You are all mad." then glanced over at the 58th. "And you were all in on it too?" They nodded and she shook her head again. "You're as bad as them!" Jerking her head at her own people. "Well, you've managed to get stuck with me for a bit longer. But I swear - the next time you try that stunt, I'll kill you myself!"
Van just smiled at her. "Have a drink?"