The Adventures of Bilbo Baggins
Chapter 1
Things happen which are odd
Bilbo Baggins is a Hobbit. He lives in his Hobbit Hole in the Shire, and he is very happy. Hooray for Bilbo. One day, the wizard Gandalf the Grey comes and knocks on his door. Bilbo opens it, and stares at the wizard.
"Ey man, wacha doin' man?" Asks Gandalf, giving Bilbo a flower lea to wear.
"Y-You must be Gandalf the Grey! I…never knew…you were…Jamaican…" Bilbo muttered, genuinely frightened. You see, Bilbo is rather paranoid, because he's scared that I, the writer, will kill him. But…uh…No way…I would never…heh…SO! So Bilbo invites Gandalf in.
"Some of mah peeps be comin' ova, man." Says Gandalf.
"Ummm…Ooookay…" Says Bilbo, getting Gandalf some tea. When Bilbo returned, he saw his house crammed with Dwarves.
"AHHHHH!" Says Bilbo, for as I said he is paranoid. He cowered under the table as the dwarves robbed him of all food available.
"Ey man, dis meh pal." Said Gandalf.
"Greeting, I am Thorin Brokenshield." Says one of the dwarves, whose shied is broken in half and poorly taped back together.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight…" Said Bilbo.
"WE need a burglar to come with us and reclaim Lonely Mountain from the dragon Smaug. Gandalf says you are the one." Thorin said.
"Well, alright then. As long as we're home before second breakfast I-"
"It may take weeks." Said Thorin.
"Oh…Well…Alright then…" Said Bilbo fussily.
"Ey man, maybe something good happen, and you gets a RING O POWA', man. Hint hint." Said Gandalf.
"Perhaps!" Said Bilbo.
"But Gandalf, there's THIRTEEN of us now! That's a very unlucky number!" Cried Thorin.
"Yes, but we must rely on sources more powerful than our own." Said Gandalf. HINT HINT.
"Yes, perhaps we shall find someone to aid us in our quest maybe perhaps." Said one of the dwarves, HINT HINT.
"Maybe we'll find them in the Misty Mountains!" Suggested Bilbo. HINT HINT!
"Then let's go." Said Thorin Brokenshield, and led the way.