A Strange and Wonderful Story (Not)
By the World Renowned Author
P.J.Randall (Q.B.E)
It was a wonderful day, the sun was shining, birds chirping, it was after all mid spring and the little creatures were busying themselves with only they new what. However, despite the pleasantness of the day, a sinister and as yet undiscovered crime lay undetected.
The body had been decomposing for almost a month and although it was fairly advanced in its state, the unedifying fact of the matter was that it had been a terrible way to die. No-one had yet reported any one missing, why would they, Homer was never going to be missed by any-one, well at least that's what the murderer thought. Homer did in fact have a few friends, so he would be missed and despite the killers attempt, the body now lay slightly exposed, an apple core tightly clenched in his fist. His "friends" had already started alerting passers by as to his location. Even the attempt to disguise the rotting body odor by covering it with diesel had not completely stopped Homer's friends having a feast. The crows that he used to feed scraps of the meager meals he was able to scrounge, were now having a meal of poor old Homer.
Inspector Carr was going about his usual morning ritual, which included the writing of reports and filing of the previous day's incidents. He planned to walk through the park on his way home, perhaps stopping off at his local for a quick drink, he liked doing that, it gave him time to reflect of his rather miserable life. He wondered how his ex wife was doing and silently cursed her, the bitch he thought, she certainly had complicated issues for him, and to make matters worse, Captain Kayos was always on his case. He wondered why he had even bothered to take the transfer to this hellhole, but then the captain had said it would help him to get over his wife. Like hell it had, it had only made matters worse, much worse in fact. He filed his last report and as he was walking towards the door his desk phone rang. He answered the call and thought to himself; well it looks like I'll get my walk in the park a little sooner.
It was a 5-minute walk, and despite his rather plump build he was still in fairly good condition, much fitter than a lot of the other "jocks", but then he had been a first class boxer in his prime. There was a small crowd standing around the base of a rather large evergreen bush, he cursed again as he knew they would have contaminated the crime scene, destroying any vital lead that might have existed. He pushed passed the onlookers, mumbling to himself and looked down at the rather morbid scene. Most of the flesh had been eaten away, exposing the muscle tissue; he knelt besides the body, and carefully went through the pockets, looking for some form of identification, although he already knew that judging by the clothes, this was one of the many homeless individuals that frequented the park at night. Satisfied that there was no identification he suddenly noticed that the body appeared rather flat and shapeless. He was about to prod the decaying flesh with his pen when he was greeted by the coroner. A gaunt man of about 50 years, he muttered something that Inspector Bravo could not understand, but thought he heard "the jelly man", and then he realized that the bones of the individual were liquefied. What or who is the "jelly man' he asked, staring at the coroner with a bleak look on his face. The Jelly Man has struck again; you mean there's more than 1 of these murders Bravo asked. Yip, in fact this is number 8. We've got one from every municipal area; the other autopsies show the same way of death. Well do we know what causes the bones to liquefy? It's a poison, kills in about 30 minutes, once taken the victim collapses almost immediately, and while he's still alive the bones just turn to liquid. The balance of the internal organs are not effected, only the bones.
The coroner completed his inspection of the body, taking photographs and speaking into a Dictaphone, making verbal notes all the time. There's something different about this one though, really said Bravo, what's different ? Well all the others had "pears" in their stomachs.
So what's the motto of the story ………?
You must compare apples with apples….
This story just does not make any sense at all.