Chapter 6 - Thinking Of You

"Dear Dairy,


What am I going to do? Mark Cullman is threatening to expose me. Why did I trust him in the first place? I couldn't move when I heard his name. How did that reporter know about him? What am I going to do if it comes out? How am I going to explain this to everyone? To Tommy? Cullman can't betray my trust like that. What happened to confidentiality? I have to do something and soon.


Jude"

She sat there on the bed looking out the huge suit window. Memories overwhelmed her once more.

Flashback To Album Promotion In China

Jude sat there at a table, in China, surrounded my hundreds of screaming and excited fans. They all came to get they're CDs signed by her. She was happy even though she had felt lightheaded the whole day. Of course having Tommy with her would have made the trip perfect but she had managed. They talked every day and he told her about the new Instant Star winner. Her name was Christina although she refused to be called that. She wanted to become known as Chris, Tommy had told her. He also told her that the girl had actual talent, of course not as much as Jude. She wasn't a rock star, more R&B but she did write her own songs and she played the piano. She was also pretty open minded and opinionated. By what Jude heard from Tommy, she liked Chris already.

Fan: "Oh my God Jude Harrison. I am a huge fan. Would you mind taking a picture with me?" a teenage girl asked frantic and shaking.
Jude smiled, signed the girl's CD and posed for a photo. That must have been her 3 millionth shot in the last 2 hours. After another hour of signing and posing she was done. On her way to her hotel room her phone rang. She flipped open her cell and Tommy's picture flashed before her eyes. Her mouth curved up to a smile as she picked it up.

Jude: "Hey you."
Tommy: "Hey babe, how did it go? How have you been?"
Jude smiled: "You mean since the last time I talked to you this morning?"
Tommy: "Yes." he said grinning.
Jude: "It was great. Me? I've been feeling a little under the weather but I'm sure it's nothing."
Tommy: "Why? Have you gone to see a doctor?" he asked concerned.
Jude: "No, I am just tired. That's all."
Tommy: "Jude, I want you to go and see a doctor. No excuses."
Jude: "Ok, Dad." she joked.
Tommy: "Ok, Good. I miss you babe. You've been gone for almost three weeks."
Jude: "Yeah, I know. I miss you too." she heard music in the background. "Where are you? Who's music is that?"
Tommy: "I am still at the studio. Chris is finishing up her first single."
Jude: "Oh. How is it going with her?"
Tommy coughed: "Actually better than I thought it would."
Jude: "That's great."
Tommy: "Yeah, hey Jude I have to go, she just finished."
Jude: "Ok, call me later?"
Tommy: "I'll try."
Jude: "Ok. Bye Tommy."
Tommy: "Hey Jude?"
Jude: "Yeah?"
Tommy: "I love you, remember that."
Jude smiled: "I love you too. Bye."
Tommy: "Bye."

Jude hung up the phone just as she arrived at her hotel. Beat and tired she walked over to the elevator, made it to her room and collapsed on her bed. Minutes later she was fast asleep.

At the same time Tommy was with Chris at the studio. She walked out of the recording booth and into the studio where Tommy was sitting.

Chris: "So how was that?" she asked cheerful.
Tommy: "Good, for now. You're getting better." he teased.
Chris: "Just good? You're hard to satisfy."
Tommy grinned: "Something you will soon learn about me. I am not a second rate producer. I want the best and nothing less." he declared with pride.
Chris sat down beside him and smiled.
Chris: "Then you're my kind of guy." Tommy looked at her. She reminded his so much of Jude. They looked completely different but they're personalities matched undeniably.

Chris had long, light brown hair that stretched all the way down her back. She had big, gray eyes and dimples. She was about 5'3" tall and weighted around 120 pounds. To say the least, she was an attractive, 20-year-old woman. Her heart matched her voice and everything she did, she did with enthusiasm. She and Jude had that in common.

Chris waved her hand in front of Tommy's face: "Snap out of it Tom. You look like you are thousands of miles away."
Tommy smiled at her: "I am. I was." He felt like a school boy again, when he was around her. The last 2 weeks that he's been getting to know her had been full of surprises. Tommy thought the new Instant Star winner would be someone like Eden but he was proven wrong once again. Instead he got this beautiful and talented woman who had the same passion and drive for music that he had. That Jude had. She knew where he wanted to take her music and she agreed. They had this connection and they both knew it.

"Why does she make me feel this way? Somehow when I am with her, I miss Jude less. Of course you do. Because she is so much like Jude, it's like having a piece of her in this girl." he thought wrestling in his mind.

Chris: "Ok enough. Seriously can you concentrate on me for one second?" she asked annoyed seeing a distant look on his face.
Tommy: "I am. Oh sorry." he said still miles away.
Chris: "What are you thinking about that's so important right now anyways?"
Tommy: "You." he said not even realizing it until he heard the words. Chris looked surprised but gave him a warm smile.
Tommy's cheeks redden a little. There was only one person that had that power over him and she was thousands of miles away.
Tommy: "I am so sorry. That didn't come out right."
Chris got off her chair: "Don't worry. I think it came out just the way it was suppose to."
Tommy: "No, it didn't." he said now getting off his chair and following her.
Chris: "Don't worry Tom, I've been thinking about you too, a lot." she said, turned around, kissed his cheek lightly and walked out of the studio.

Tommy just stood there. "What just happened? Tommy you can't do this. Jude will be back in a little over a week. You can hold it out until then. You can't start having feelings for this girl." he talked to himself while leaving the studio.

End Of Flashback

Jude jumped up off her bed leaving her dairy behind and snapped a piece of paper that was on the table. She sat down and began writing as words just flooded her mind. 45 minutes later she picked up her guitar and began strumming some cords to her new lyrics. Around 10:30 PM she was done. Just in time as her phone rang.

Jude: "Hello?"
Fabricio: "Hello Darlin." the voice drowned the silence. Jude smiled at Fabricio's greeting. He had always called her that from the first day they had met.
Jude: "Hey." she responded as she felt herself cheer up.
Fabricio: "Listen Darlin, since this is our last night here we all wanted to go out and celebrate. Get ready, we'll be by in 10 minutes."
Jude: "I really don't feel like going out tonight."
Fabricio: "Nonsense. 10 minutes Darlin." there was noise in the background and a thud.
Jude: "What was that?" hearing the commotion.
Fabricio: "Oh, that idiot boy toy of mine just dropped something in the bathroom. He's been in there getting dressed for over 20 minutes. Oh Lord if I had stuck it out with woman I might have been better off."
Jude laughed at his comment. No matter how much Fabricio and Maury fought they were perfect for each other. The love they had one an another was the same love she had for Tommy.
Jude: "Ok, I'll be ready." she gave in.
Fabricio: "Ok Darlin, see you in a bit."

Jude hung up the phone but looked at the receiver. A minute later she punched in a couple of buttons. It rang. There was an answer a second later.

Person: "Hello?"
Jude: "Shay?"
Shay: "Hey Shorty, what's up? How is your tour?"
Jude: "It's great. I just had my last show tonight."
Shay: "That's awesome. I read about your success in the newspaper. I'm very proud of you."
Jude: "Thanks, but it's come this far? You have to read it in the paper?" she joked.
Shay: "Well if you made a little more time for me and called once in a while." he teased.
Jude: "Funny. I am calling you now." she said and then went on "Hey listen."
Shay: "Yes?" he asked knowing she needed something.
Jude: "Where are you right now? I mean are you anywhere close to London?"
Shay: "I am in France doing a promotional tour. Why?"
Jude: "You think I could fly out there tomorrow and see you?"
Shay: "Yeah, I'll be here a few more days. Now wait a minute. What do you need?"
Jude smiled. He knew her too well.
Jude: "I wrote a song and I want you to produce it."
Shay: "Me? Oh Ok. I see. Well than I'll see you tomorrow." he finished knowing that Jude and Tommy were at odds.
Jude: "Really? You'll do it?" she asked excited.
Shay: "Have I ever been able to say no to you?"
Jude: "Hm."
Shay: "Let's not go back there." they both laughed. A few minutes later they said they're goodbyes and hung up. Another 10 minutes after that Jude was ready. There was a knock at her door.

30 minutes later Jude was at a restaurant with Nina, Jeff, Fabricio and Maury. They had ordered they're late-night dinners and sat at the round table comfortably joking around.
Maury: "So Jude what are your plans when you get home?"
Jude: "Uh actually I'm not going home yet. I am going to France to meet a friend tomorrow."
Nina: "A friend?" she asked suspiciously raising an eyebrow.
Fabricio: "Darlin, they're never just friends. Jude Darlin, if you meet some hot guy send him my way." he joked as he stroked his hair.
Maury: "A blind cow wouldn't go your way." he said turning his head in a gentleman like manner.

Fabricio: "So what are you then? Not to mention, that's not what you were screaming last night." he said first placing his hands on his hips and than turning back to his meal.
Nina and Jude broke out into laughter. Maury punched Fabricio's arm in shock.
Maury: "I am not a screamer." he said a little too loud. Some people at other tables turned they're way.
Fabricio looked around at the crowd: "Not a screamer huh? You should hear him in bed."
He loved the attention. Maury turned a shade of red. Even Jeff had to laugh at this. An older woman raised her hand to her chest in disbelieve. Nina, Jude and Jeff were still laughing.
Jude: "I am going to miss you all so much." she finally was able to stop the laughter.
Fabricio, who was sitting right next to Jude put his arm around her shoulder: "Oh Darlin, don't you worry. Once you get home you won't be able to get rid of me. We still have to go man hunting."
Jude smiled and put her arm around him: "Thank you…….for everything."

Jeff: "So Nina, what are you looking forward to when you get home?"
Nina set down her glass of whine: "That's easy. Some booty. Yes it's been almost 2 months and I can't wait to get to my husband." she said.

Jude and Maury laughed, bemused. She loved how everyone was so open about everything. It was new to her. Back at home, people always seem to keep her in the dark about one thing or the other. Jeff was a little shocked to hear Nina say that.

Nina: "What about you Jeff?"
Jeff: "Since it's truth hour I'll have to say the same."
Nina's eyebrows rose: "Oh I didn't know you flow that way."
Fabricio reached for his hand and placed it over Jeff's.
Fabricio: "You dog, all this time and you didn't even tell us." he joked but gave Jeff a serious look.
Jeff snatched his hand away from Fabricio's: "I don't flow that way. I am 100 straight." he declared and turned to Maury: "Maury, I will get you a leash so you can keep this horny dog under check." they all broke out into laughter.

Around 1:30 AM Jude returned to her room. After saying goodbye to her friends, who were leaving at the crack of down, she was exhausted. Quickly she threw on her pajamas and went to bed. The next day she woke up at 11:30 AM. After eating breakfast she made her way to the airport. Finally on the plane to France she got some rest even though hurtful memories kept attacking her.

Flashback To The CD Promotion In New York

Woman: "Jude Harrison?"
Jude jumped off the chair in the waiting room and followed the nurse. After she took Jude's blood pressure, did some tests on her and asked her some health related questions she left the room. 5 minutes later the Doctor walked in.

Doctor: "Hi Mrs. Harrison. My name is Mark Cullman." he shook Jude's hand then continued while looking at her chart "Now I hear you haven't been feeling good lately. Anything unusual?"
Jude: "I don't know. I've just been really tired. I haven't been eating all too good and I can't seem to keep anything down." the doctor nodded.
Doctor Cullman: "How long has this been going on?"
Jude: "About a month and a half on and off. I feel great one day and then the next I feel horrible. Lately though it's gotten worse." once again he nodded. There was a knock at the door and the nurse walked in.
Nurse: "Doctor Cullman the results of Mrs. Harrison's tests just came back." she said handing the doctor some papers and leaving the room.

Doctor Cullman opened the file and scanned the sheets. A couple of minutes later he looked up at Jude with a concerned look on his face.
Doctor Cullman: "Mrs. Harrison. I don't know how to tell you this but……"