1A/N: Well its done. An odd ending to a strange story. I guess take nothing at face value nor disregard it as such. I don't think I can ever get endings the way I want to but I guess that's just a flaw in my writing. Was this story a success? I think so. From what I can tell, I accomplished what I set out to do and that's really all that matters. Well that and producing something people don't want to kill you for. Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed, and the fact that quite a few of the reviewers our exceptional writers in their own right really makes me think this endeavor was a good thing. I received a lot of nice comments from you guys and really, I can't thank you enough. Well with this story coming to a close, that probably means I'll be starting something new pretty soon which may be in your interest or not so I guess keep an eye out. Well again thanks to everyone who actually gave a damn about this and enjoy this final chapter. Peace.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, but hey, I think we all knew that already

Doors That Can't Be Closed

Chapter 10

By: Finalitylife

Raven P.O.V:

The battle had been won, if what happened can ever be called a victory. My dark side had been forced from Robin's mind, its control severed, and its being had been forcibly pulled back into my mind. The other emotions within my mind were very happy to see the now very weakened part of myself. She paid dearly for her actions, for their suffering, for what had been done to the grey cloaked Raven. Once again she has been shackled deep within my mind, though this time I am far more careful in acknowledging her presence. She is never to be forgotten about again, no longer can I pretend she is not there...a strong part of me.

A great deal of my energy had been released to accomplish what I did, energy that was not tainted by the darkness within that I still can't help but hate, only serving to keep that aspect of me strong. The energy has done a great service in healing Starfire and Beast Boy, though could do nothing for the mechanical body of Cyborg. It had probably saved their lives and I was grateful for that unexpected outcome of the battle.

Cyborg had been the first one to awaken, strange yet understandable expression on his face. He found himself only half able to function. Starfire and Beast Boy awoke not much later, the same looks on their face, Beast Boy helping Starfire uncertainly to her feet. They themselves, like me, still were coming to grips with what had actually happened, not even sure who was an enemy or not at this moment. They had been attacked viciously by Robin, but he had undoubtably had my voice and powers that resembled my own. Who can blame them for being utterly and completely confused.

What they found however was in no way a threat. Sitting in the middle of the room, with Robin's head cradled in my lap was me, tears flowing without hesitation down my face. Every so often, one of the few remaining objects in the room would explode, my emotions once again bringing their chaotic results from their expression, though I simply did not care.

I could feel each of their eyes upon me though I did not say anything, did not even move. A mask had once again been placed over Robin's eyes...eyes that would have been so perfect except they were so very empty now, so very lifeless despite his chest still shallowly moving. I did not want anyone else to see his eyes as they were.

Robin, for the first time in a very long time, was completely free...no longer being affected by mind altering dust...no longer being manipulated and controlled by my own darkness. However, there was no Robin there, not anymore.

The three other Titans slowly approached, tentatively, cautiously, and with a returning understanding of what had exactly happened. Their eyes had never left me, never once braking their strange contact with my crying form, my own eyes refusing to leave Robin's face. That would soon change.

"Is it true?" My own voice was dry and ragged, barely coming out. They did not respond. My eyes snapped away from Robin, a desperate plea once again coming from my very soul. I already knew the answer but I still needed to ask it.

"Is it true?" Each of their eyes widened for a second as I now looked upon them, my hair shifting out of my face revealing the lasting gift of my dark side. All my wounds that had been inflicted upon me had healed as well leaving no mark, no proof that they were even there, yet my dark side's final, desperate attack had not faded away in the least. Her claw had viciously ripped apart the left side of my face, gouged and tore the flesh deep and relentlessly. I had not seen it yet but I know what was there, my dark side having provided the horrible image to me as a final disgrace. The left side of my face was a patchwork of hideous and jagged scars, marring my once flawless pale skin.

These scars would never fade, would never leave even with the aide of my magical healing power. My dark side had sacrificed a piece of its own strength into that final attack to ensure my powers would be useless, to ensure I would permanently and forever be disfigured. It is truly amazing what cruelty exists within me.

After a brief few seconds of shock, the Titans finally broke their gaze from my face, their eyes falling to the floor in front of them, each one refusing to meet my pleading eyes, or maybe, they just simply couldn't. They had answered my question...my dark side had not lied. It had all been true...it had all been true. My eyes fell slowly back to Robin's face which had not shown the slightest movement or expression since he was freed from my own evil influence. I lowered my head and gently placed a kiss on his forehead. I gently moved his head from my lap setting it on the ground and stood to my feet. I raised my hood to shroud my face, not wanting anyone to look at it ever again. The Titans still refused to look upon him.

"I know I have no right to ask anything from you...but this is not for me. Robin needs help...but please, please do not send him away, do not send him away to strangers. He needs to be somewhere he is familiar with...around people he knows...do not send him away from his home here." Cyborg finally looked up at him and gaze me the slightest of nods. I turned around and started floating away. Cyborg tentatively called out.

"Wait...are you leaving?"

"Yes. I...I can't stay here anymore...not after knowing what I know, not after becoming what I did. I need to get away from all of it."

"But Rae, things can get better, we can fix this right." I turned my head slowly back around and for a second, I saw the face of a Cyborg who smiled at me as he made me breakfast instead of one who inwardly resented me and my distant nature.. One in the same just as the monster who hurt them all was me. Right now that fact was just too clear to me. I did not say anything, but only disappeared into black energy.

Were the Titans actually my friends...yes, I believe they were but we were never as close as we claimed to be, never as tight as friends really should have been. We hid so much from each other and we ignorantly believed there was nothing lying underneath the surface, never truly questioned each other's feelings and thoughts. We had been unable to truly be honest and deal with our own issues, our fears, and our concerns. We had, for the most part, been five strangers who did a very good job at pretending to be friends because it was easier that way, easier than being alone, easier than dealing with feelings no one wanted to admit to having. It took a forced reckoning by my dark side to bring it out in the open and I...I could no longer live in the comfortable lie, pretend that everything was alright so I left...I left the first place in a very long time I could call home. Right now , I could not look at them.

I find myself flying toward the tower in the pitch black of night, again on one of my unseen journeys. I find it hard to not think about them despite everything that had happened, despite everything I knew because I hated the loneliness. I ponder going back, knowing three of the Titans would probably accept me back...though I knew it would be more out of guilt than anything. Of course I wonder if they have learned to deal with what they had felt, had learned to move past it, and have truly changed for the better. Another one of my dreams born of the loneliness of my life because I didn't even know if I had learned to move past it all.

I phase through the walls of the tower, heading down a few floors toward my destination. There was one Titan who never resented me though he was never truly honest. His hatred toward me was born of deceit and his own fears and issues and I can not find myself able to fault him for that. I miss him...I miss him terribly though I know that boy who I cared for so very much is gone forever.

Robin survived physically but his mind had simply shattered from the combined efforts of the dust as well as my dark side. It all had simply been too much to handle for someone who already dwelled so deeply in his own darkness. The problem is that when a mind breaks as his did, shatters so completely, it is not only impossible to put it back together exactly as it was, it is simply not possible to even find all the pieces. The Robin who was can never exist again for the sum of his parts will never exactly equal what he once was. However, that does not mean his entire being is lost forever.

Cyborg had kept his promise and not sent Robin away, but rather created a place for him to dwell within the tower. The best doctors in the world were brought in to help him, to help bring back at least his sanity and his stability. He was making progress, I knew first hand.

It had been a whole week before Robin even moved again and he had instantly lashed out at those around him, finally curling up in a corner, mumbling to himself about the darkness coming to get him. I had not been there to see it. I had not made my first secret visit to the fallen Titan until another two weeks later, when I finally worked up the courage to see him. I was greatly responsible for his condition, and I was afraid of how he would react to seeing me.

Robin resided in a padded room that was as close a recreation to his old room as it could be, though there was really nothing there he could potentially harm himself with. They did not want to treat him as a prisoner or a mental patient, but knew he could still be very dangerous to himself as well as others. He still hated to be in the darkness, demanding that light be on at all times, and that was granted to him.

I remember the first time I had visited him. He had been cowering in a corner, mumbling the same two lines over and over again, "Raven caused all this but Raven saved me. Which one was it?" He still could not distinguish between me and my dark side, was unable to understand it was not me who had consciously hurt him, though I was indeed responsible for much of his plight. Though his mind was broken, his senses were still strong and he had quickly realized my presence was there. He had slowly looked up at me, trying to see my face covered heavily by my hood. He quietly said my name as he looked at me, before springing forward, tackling me to the ground. He pinned my arms down and growled at me.

"Come back to finish the job Raven. Well I won't let it happen." My hood had fallen down during the attack, and I cringed as my tattered face was revealed once again to the light. Robin slowly had taken notice of me, as I made no effort to resist, made no effort to attack. He seemed to study my face for a few seconds before his grip out my loosened.

"Raven...who hurt you..." I watched as his body slowly fell over off of me and he curled up, screaming about how it was him who had done that to me. Eventually he calmed down, though he didn't move, only continued to shake slowly on the ground. I used my power to put him to bed, not willing to try and touch him. I watched him sleep restlessly for about an hour, as he continued to mumble in his sleep. The last thing I heard before I left was 'I'm sorry Raven.' All I could do was tell him how very sorry I was too.

Following the first visit, I continued to come back every week to see him, as much to help him as I think I was trying to help myself, to fight the loneliness. Some visits went terribly wrong with him attacking me badly in anger, leaving me bruised and beaten on the ground before he would realize what he had done, falling into a hysterical mess on the ground. I accepted his punches without question because I knew I deserved them. He would always scream at me for keeping my hood up, that I was always trying to hide things from him, and he was the only person I willingly removed my hood for, revealing my dark reminder of what I had let my dark side do, a reminder of everyone's mistakes.

Other visits, when he was more friendly and lucid, went well and he would ask me how I was doing, how things were at the tower, if I had read any good books lately. I never had the heart to tell him I had left or the truth of why I had and he never asked why I only came once a week. When he was in moods like that, I simply let him be.

As I stood at the door to his room, I truly hoped today would be one of those good days. I phased through the door into his room, and was surprised to find a little less light today, a sign that he was probably having a good day. He was seated on his bed as if he was expecting me, a contemplative look on his face.

"Robin." I greet him quietly with only his name. He looks up at me, as if trying to ask a question that he couldn't get off his lips. I wait for it, knowing the first question usually gave me insight into what would occur this evening.

"I'm crazy aren't I Raven." It is the first time he has ever asked me something like that. I could easily just say yes but I don't.

"No more than me Robin, but you can't be crazy if you know you are." He seems to study my form for a second before nodding.

"Catch-22." I am unable to repress the smile at the reference. It is a book that Robin suggested I read, far before everything went to hell. I had not been a fan, but I did respect the books message.

"Could you lower your hood Raven. I miss being able to see your face...your lovely face." I do not move immediately, completely confused by his actions this evening, but eventually and very reluctantly, I lower my hood. He smiles at me as I do so. Other than the very first visit, Robin has never once acknowledged my disfigurement and sometimes I wonder if he can even see it in his jumbled mind, if he really just doesn't see me as he remembers me from before.

"Thank you Raven." I stand and he sits in silence for a few minutes, me looking at the floor, his eyes upon me. Finally he breaks the silence.

"So you left the tower awhile back Raven. Do you really think that was for the best?" I am unable to hide my surprise at him saying this and he answers my unspoken question.

"Cyborg told me...he also knows that you come to visit me. He says he thinks its good for both of us." I continue to look at the floor, unsure of where this is all going.

"Could you...could you come sit beside me Raven?" I finally look up at him and his face looks very soft and gentle, like a child who needed a hug. I give him a small nod and sit beside him, settling into the soft mattress. Again I am confounded when he leans over and lays his head on my shoulder, letting out a soft sigh as he does so.

"When are you going to come home Raven?"

"I don't know if I ever can Robin."

"That makes me sad." His voice is very light, very drawn out, almost making it sound like he is on drugs, and who is to say he isn't. The doctors probably raised his dosage hoping it would help get his mood swings under control. I lower my head as I speak, so wanting to raise my hood again.

"I'm sorry Robin." I am surprised by the sudden feelings of warmth as he reaches over and grabs my hand very gently.

"No need to apologize Raven. We are all responsible for things being the way they are. If it hadn't happened as it did, it would have more than likely happened some other way though I doubt it would have been as bad as it was, of course it could have been worse." He sounds like he is rambling, like he is in his own little world, seeing things that only he can see, and once again, who is to say he isn't. I want to pull my hand away from him but I find myself unable to reject the warmth. This visit is the first time he has touched me that wasn't violent. I can't help but feel selfishly happy about that.

"Many things were broken Raven, things that were already cracked, but that does not mean they can't be fixed, can't be made better than they once were." I can't help but smile slightly at Robin's blind optimism. I had forgotten what it sounded like.

"Things are never that simple Robin. I think you know that." He snuggles a little into my shoulder, and gives my hand a squeeze.

"I know...I know but still, there nice thoughts...much nicer thoughts than I usually have." I return the squeeze with my hand, silently reprimanding myself for trying to argue with him, for working to undone his good mood.

"Raven?" His voice is very gentle, almost barely there, his body tense.

"Yes Robin?"

"Can you come back tomorrow? I always feel better when I get to see you and I'm afraid...I'm afraid tomorrow I won't be in such a good mood." I answer without a moment of hesitation.

"Of course Robin."

"And the next day?" I can't help but smile at his eager sounding voice.

"I'll be here whenever you need me Robin." His body loses its tension and he moves until he is lying on the bed on his side, with his head resting in my lap.

"Thank you Raven...They miss you when you are not here...I miss you when you're not here. I need my Raven." His last words are barely audible as he drifts off to sleep. I find myself gently moving the hair from his face as he sleeps so I can see the peaceful look on his face. It is the first time I have ever seen him like this, it is the first time I have ever felt so peaceful. I find myself quietly humming a lullaby as I continue to look at Robin with a smile.

"Thank you Robin...Thank you..." Tomorrow I would be here to greet Robin when he wakes up, like the dawn greets the world with its warm embrace for a brand new day.