10. Closure.
T: For anyone that is still reading after my slight diversion last chapter I give you the final part of this fic…enjoy! Warnings remain the same, though I am adding last chapter logic just in case. I own nothing that you see here other than the meagre plot, this fact makes me sad so I will not dwell on it for too long.
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He feels the earth shifting lazily and is about to wake Kamui when he feels the scars on the backs of his hands throb.
Seishiro has returned.
He dresses as quietly as he might and leaving a message with Soratta he heads for Nago Sun.
Seishiro stands in the middle of the destruction, the empty smile clear on his lips faltering, momentarily, as he sees Subaru.
"I see you are putting my eye to good use." He remarks after a moment.
Without much thought Subaru raises his hand to touch the eye in question and caresses the lid a moment before he replies,
"I will not apologise, for this eye was taken in penance for that which I lost through false pretences."
"I wonder if that is my care for you or your care for me."
Subaru tenses a moment and then he enquires,
"Do you refer to Kamui, Seishiro?"
"I hear that you seem as the perfect pair…"
"Why should I explain my actions to you, Seishiro? You who are as the perfect example of what it is to lie about your feelings for your partner…to live in a relationship where there is but a one sided love."
"Then you are lying to Kamui as I once lied to you?"
"No, it is rather that Kamui is lying to himself as I once did.
"That Kamui has convinced himself that I love him though I have never claimed as such to him."
"Then one day you shall be forced to shatter his beliefs as I shattered yours, Subaru-kun.
"Tell me, does that not make you as guilty as I?"
"Perhaps and yet still I retain a little innocence. I have not, as yet, drawn blood from another without provocation, after all."
There is a moment of silence and then Seishiro reaches to claim his Ofuda.
"I believe we have stalled enough, Subaru-kun." He remarks as he initiates a borage of attacks.
Subaru sets a ward about himself and concentrates on strengthening the thing, rather than returning these attacks.
"If you do not fight back you will be injured, Subaru-kun."
"So be it. I will not fight you, Seishiro."
"I told you the last that we met that there is nothing of the man you loved within me, Subaru.
"Thus there is no need to hesitate in harming me. I am your enemy, after all."
"You are not my enemy, Seishiro, even though you have scarred me, have lied to me and have done your utmost to break me."
"Surely you do not say that simply for some misplaced loyalty."
"I say it because I love you and because everything that I was. Everything that I have become is tied to you.
"Thus you could wound me to the point of death and still I would not fight you."
Seishiro hesitates then and dropping his hands to his side he enquires,
"Would you say this even if Kamui were here, Subaru?"
"Yes. Both because it is the truth and because he has need to hear me speak these words."
"The other Kamui told me once that there were two wishes in your heart…that as they were both tied to myself in some fashion I would be the one to make you chose between them."
"I thought once that I wished to meet the Sakurazukamori and ask him why he had not killed me…I also wishes to live with you always at my side, loving me and protecting me.
"Yet by betraying me you have destroyed both of those wants and now I wish for something completely separate to those other desires."
"Is this wish also tied to me?"
"Yes."
Seishiro crosses the distance between them and catching Subaru's chin into his hand he remarks,
"You are still so very cute, Subaru-kun…still so very optimistic."
He pulls the other into a kiss and once they have separated he lifts one of Subaru's hands up to cover the skin above his heart.
"I have been blind, Subaru-kun and through that blindness I have caused you pain.
"I wish, so desperately, to make things right…to pay for that hurt and to gain your forgiveness.
"That is why I pulled you here and why I do as I do…" He steps back and a spell spills forward from his lips.
The warmth about his fingers is the only warning Subaru has of the intent of this spell, for but a moment later he is cradling Seishiro in his arms, those same fingers imbedded deep into the others shoulder.
It takes him a moment to register this, and then he removes his hand and enquires,
"How?"
Seishiro smiles a soft, genuine, smile and replies,
"Upon realising the want in my heart I formulated a plan…I knew that you would not willingly harm me, for you are a kind boy and so I did a little research…
"I found a spell that would allow me to control your hands through our link and I had thought to use it to kill myself…
"It seems, however, that even I am not quite powerful enough to force another's will completely to my dominance…"
"How could you believe that this would solve anything? How could you think that your death would repay me for the hurt that you have caused?"
"I believed that if I were no longer alive…if my existence was wiped from your life…you might be able to let go and move on."
"When I woke to find that I had not dream the horror of the Rainbow bridge…that a part of you was now within me…I felt so very angry…angry that you had lied to me and angry that I had done such a thing to you.
"I thought, for a while, that I wanted you to kill me…that if I could be of importance to you for the last moment of my life I might be content.
"Yet such a want would help no one and so I began to believe that I wished to bring you back.
"Began to believe that if I could love you despite the darkness within you, there would be a hope that you could love me in return.
"If you had succeeded…if I had been the one to erase your existence from this world…
"I could not have lived with myself…"
"I do not deserve your faith."
"Perhaps not and yet still you have it."
Seishiro smiles another soft smile and pushing himself into a sitting position he says,
"Subaru…I have realised that I truly do…" The last of his words are swallowed away as his body finally gives up fighting the effects of blood loss.
"Shall we get him to a hospital, or do you wish to allow him to continue on his preferred path?" That last is Kamui, the icy calm in his voice conflicting painfully with the wild hurt clear in his eyes.
"Why did you come?"
"I felt you leave, Subaru and upon following you I heard the tale you imparted to Soratta.
"I knew, simply for the subtle changes in your voice, that it was a lie and curious as to why your reasons, I followed you."
"Then you have heard everything?"
"Yes, even that which you believed I had a necessity to hear."
"I shall not apologise, Kamui, you knew my heart, after all."
"Yes and yet knowing and seeing are two separate things." He seems to think a moment and then he enquires, "Why could my love not be enough, Subaru? Why could you not forget him even after he had hurt you so?"
"Because I love him and because he is as a part of my soul."
"I see."
The words are numb of emotion and yet Subaru knows well that Kamui is hurt by this…that despite his best efforts he has been responsible for stealing the boy's smile.
He opens his mouth to apologise and Kamui shakes his head,
"I have no want for an empty apology, Subaru. Tell me that you are sorry when you mean it from the heart of you." He remarks before he dips to lift Seishiro's right arm over his shoulder,
"Lets go, shall we?"
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"…and so you have come out here for a little space?" Keiichi enquires.
"That is about it, yes." Kamui replies, his eyes drifting to settle on the high branches of the tree he thinks always of as Kotori's home.
"The worst thing is that I have no right to be angry…I knew where his heart was…knew that I could never be Seishiro for him and still…"
"Hope is an odd thing, Kamui-kun, for it brings us both great joy and great sadness.
"Your hope for Sumeragi-san to focus completely upon you has proved misplaced and yet that does not mean it was wrong, or that the hurt you feel because of its failing, is a bad thing."
"What if I hung still to a little of that hope? What if I believed, even now, that he might see me and realise that I am the one for him? Is that wrong', Keiichi-kun?"
"It is, perhaps, a little idealistic and yet I would not have expected anything else, you love him, after all."
There is a moment of silence and Kamui's gaze drifts to fix on a bush on the horizon before he enquires,
"Do I? Listening to Subaru talk of Seishiro as though he were his very oxygen has placed a doubt in my heart.
"I care, very much, for Subaru and yet perhaps that is because he helped me find my way again after grief had pushed me from my path.
"Perhaps every emotion and every want I have felt since that time has been built upon that initial kindness…
"Perhaps, if we had met in another way, I would not consider him at all special."
"Perhaps you only care for Sumeragi-san because he was kind to you, you mean?"
"Yes."
Keiichi seems to consider this a moment before he takes in a deep breath and says,
"If that is true, Kamui, then I, at least, would be a little happier.
"You see I harbour a secret that, as you with the secret of your care, I have often thought of exposing.
"However, I am not as open as Sumeragi-san, or as brave as you, Kamui and thus I have kept my own council.
"Now, though, I wish to say that even though I do not know you truly…even though you do not know me…I love you, Kamui."
There is another beat of silence and then Kamui stretches across the distance to catch Keiichi's hands into his.
"If that is true, Keiichi, then there are some things you should hear about myself and about this world…"
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Subaru is sat at his side when he, at last, awakes and there are lines about his face that tell that he has been as such for a great while.
"So you are awake." He remarks and Seishiro is quick to note that these are the exact words that he had said to Subaru when the other awoke after losing his eye,
"Are you going to berate me for my actions, Subaru?"
"No, I believe I did enough of that at Nago Sun." He remarks before he leans over a little and tangles a hand into Seishiro's hair.
"I will forgive you the hurt you have put me thought if you can do the same and also if you tell me what it was that you were going to say at Nago Sun."
He regards the conviction in the other's eyes a long while and then smiling he replies,
"I will forgive, Subaru, for all you have done has been due to the pressure I put on you…as to the other…I have realised that my love for you is true, Subaru."
"I am glad." The other remarks before he dips over completely in order to steal a kiss.
"This will not be easy." Seishiro remarks once they have separated.
"Perhaps not and yet with you at my side I believe I can weather any hardship."
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T: Let us all go awwww at the token happy ending a moment…right that done there are a few things I need to stress before I go.
The first is that as Sei-chan was with Subaru at the beginning of this whole thing, he has been unable to destroy as many places as he did in the manga. Thus Nago Sun was, until this chapter, still standing.
I have a twitchy feeling that Keiichi's daddy worked at Nago Sun and that as it was not destroyed neither was he…if this was the case then let us say that his father died with his mother at Sunshine 60.
The second thing is an apology for doing the whole suicide bit…I fear that it was such a good idea that I could not keep it completely out. Be happy that I let Sei-chan lives and that I let you see the end of the sentence!
Finally, the version of the Nago Sun incident that Kamui gives to Keiichi is very heavily edited and most likely went along the version of Subaru found his ex-boyfriend in the carnage at Nago Sun and fearing him dead he let go a whole load of secrets while I was listening. Kamui will, of course, give him the real version at some point, but for the moment this is all Keiichi really needs to know! R+R…I really want to know what everyone thinks…you especially Kuraitsubasa!