The Crowning of Alexander Chapter 4: Flashback, an alexander fanfic

Title: "The Crowning of Alexander"

Author: Baliansword

Chapter: 4, "Flashback"

A/N: I finally have checked my reviews…and I have a few questions for my reviewers. I'm getting the feedback that the idea of Hephaestion helping set up the attempt of Philips doesn't seem to be liked. Which is fine, and I'm actually glad that I've gotten reviews where people just don't automatically like it! (Although I like that too) So I just have a couple questions, mainly to clear up what I'm doing so I don't make the mistake again. Now…I know that the idea isn't liked. To defend myself just a bit I was trying to find a story that would be opposite of Hephaestion somewhat, just to see, and this story appeared in my mind. So the question is this: Is the idea just not liked, or, is it disliked so much that it shouldn't be read? Either way, let me know! For those of you going with it, I am going to finish the story no matter what because I already have it planned out. But the feedback would be interesting, just again, to make sure I don't mess up again! (Btw, I never was planning to write something along these lines ever again, just wanted to be original) So the feedback would be great! Off of the top of my head I thank Angstman and MLygia for the negative (yet almost positive to me in a way) reviews…I like that you state your opinions. Love you all so much though! I hope you enjoy the next chapter though…maybe for the writing even if you don't like the idea? Btw, this chapter is for Queendel, and thank you for the idea to use flashbacks. It completely changed this chapter.

He threw his opponent to the ground and the crowd howled in amusement. It was not everyday that everyone got to see the crowned prince of Macedonia wrestle. Today was different though. Philip was showcasing his son, yet made sure that it was not against Hephaestion, to all of the public. Alexander looked up and a smile crossed his lips. He liked the sound of his name being chanted. It truly made him feel like Achilles perhaps. But when he looked around the crowd, there was one voice that was mute, and seemed to put a damper on the rest. Frowning, Alexander looked at his father Philip. The king did not smile, and nor did his father. Instead, he spoke with Cleitus about affairs of the kingdom.

Alexander looked down at Perdicass and helped him up from the ground. He then walked away in a huff. It didn't matter. The only way he would have gotten attention would have been if he were to loose. That would only have gotten him a beating though. He was sick of trying to please his father. It never seemed to work. Sometimes he wondered why he even tried. Perhaps his mother was right and Philip would never love him. According to her Alexander was no more than another crown for him to wear, unneeded, but it looked good in the eye of the public. Walking quickly, he shoved past few friends that wanted to congratulate him. Yet there was one young boy that continued to follow him, no matter the fact that it was apparent that Alexander wanted no company at the moment.

"Alexander," Hephaestion said as he jogged for a moment until he was at his side. He too then fell into the fast paced walk of the angered Alexander. No, not anger, but a deep hurt. Hephaestion said nothing more for some time, just walked beside the prince. He then looked over at him, letting a lock of his brown hair fall onto his cheek, blocking the view of his right eye. "Alexander do not let him take away your win."

"You know nothing," Alexander spat as he entered his chambers. Hephaestion only followed, pushing the doors shut behind them. Alexander was immediately throwing off his clothes and stepping into a robe. He next went back to the doors and called for slaves to draw him a bath. Turning, he shook his head at Hephaestion, who looked down at the ground. When he looked up, he looked through his dark lashes, and tried to keep the line of his lips straight. Alexander only paused for a moment, pacing, and spoke softer words to Hephaestion. "I am not angry with you."

"I know," the other said. He knew more than enough to know why Alexander was angry. He desired the love of his father, love that was not granted to him. Hephaestion wondered what it would have been like had his father never loved him. The thought was impossible for him to think of though because he did not know. He would never know. It was unfair to even think it if he could not experience it as Alexander was.

"He doesn't love me," Alexander voiced. Still pacing and shaking his head, sweat beading on his brow, he cursed before stopping. He sank onto a chair and ran a hand through his sweat soaked blond hair. Hephaestion wanted to wipe the sweat away from him but knew it was not the time. Instead he came closer, and then dropped to his knees before Alexander. He took the prince's hands and kissed the knuckles of both, brining the tears that lurked behind Alexander's eyes out.

"But I do," Hephaestion whispered as he drew Alexander's hands away from his mouth. He rubbed his thumbs against the back of his hands, hoping that it would soothe him. Alexander nodded slightly, letting a tear fall from his face. It slid down his cheek, making a path of clean skin, washing away the sweat and dirt that had been there. "Do not cry for his loss Alexander. He is the one that should grieve, not you."

"I just wish…"

Alexander leaned forward and Hephaestion wrapped his arms around him. The younger prince cried onto his shoulder. It was a tender moment, when Hephaestion could comfort him without saying a word. He rubbed his back lightly, wishing that he could soothe Alexander. But he knew that this was a matter that only Alexander could cure himself, by realizing that he was not at fault for this pain, and he could live without Philip's love. It seemed like forever as he held him until the slaves came for Alexander. But Hephaestion would have remained in that moment for the rest of his life.

There was nothing new about the chaos of the party. Hephaestion had seen this all before, the drunken behaviors, and the abuse of slaves and so forth. He had gone to refill Alexander's wine, and as he made his way back through the gatherings of men, he listened to their conversations as they passed. It was not hard to do so. Nor was it something he felt bad about doing. Often he knew that it was protecting Alexander. He'd be the one to hear things that could cause harm to Alexander and before they were ever allowed to reach Alexander's ear, he'd push the thoughts away from his prince. As he walked past a group of younger men he brushed elbows with Cassander. The boy only glanced over his shoulder at him and then cast him a smug look. After doing so he went back to his conversations.

Alexander sat on a couch, a hand resting against his temple, and was watching as his father raised a glass for another toast. It was to Dionyses, this toast, and even Alexander slightly raised the cup that Hephaestion had just handed him. He then glanced over at Hephaestion and wondered why they had to be here. Something had changed between them and he could no longer keep the thought of lying with Hephaestion caged. He wanted so badly to take him back to his rooms with him. He wanted to comfort him and show him that he cared for him as Achilles did for Patroclaus. Yet he did not want to tell him for the risk of being rejected. It would only take one false mistake and then Hephaestion would never again be his friend and he could not risk such a friendship for only his pleasure. For some time he stared at Hephaestion, thinking things about him that he should not have been, before Hephaestion turned to look at him. Surveying those around had become boring, and as Hephaestion turned his cerulean eyes to Alexander's, the young prince felt his breath catch in his chest. He looked away, breathing out, and then brought the cup to his lips to drink.

"Something troubles you," Hephaestion said, still looking at Alexander, yet this time with concern. He knew Alexander far too well and could already see that some thought was bothering him. It stirred his brain and Alexander had been acting strangely all day and night. "What is it?"

"Nothing Hephaestion," Alexander responded, an obvious lie but Hephaestion knew that when Alexander was ready he'd tell him. Alexander took his hand from his temple and placed it over Hephaestion's on the couch for a moment. The contact sent a small shiver down Hephaestion's spine, starting at the nape of his neck, and running all the way down to the small of his back. He wondered if Alexander knew how much Hephaestion desired his touch, how much he needed it, and how it made his thighs burn most of the time. "I am just tired. There is nothing here that interests me. It is the same as always."

"You haven't been sleeping well," Hephaestion declared softly as he raised his cup to his lips and took a sip of the sweet wine. Alexander glanced over at him, wondering how he knew this. Hephaestion had only fallen asleep in his bed once in the last month, and he did not recall tossing and turning that night. When he was with Hephaestion he had peace. Without him his dreams became nightmares and he was never able to sleep without flailing like a scared child. "It shows in your eyes, in your body, in your thoughts."

"Come," Alexander said as he stood. He reached down and gave Hephaestion his hand, which the other took, and helped him off of the couch. Hephaestion needed no help but Alexander wanted to make sure he could take him with him. He yearned for his touch, for the sweet taste of his lips, which he'd not had in the last two months if memory served correctly. Things were changing. The older they seemed to get the tenderness was fading away. He knew why, knew that Hephaestion would think he was distracting Alexander from his princely duties. He knew that Hephaestion would not touch him because of their ranks. He knew that Hephaestion would be afraid to ruin things. He knew all of this, but the thought that gave him hope, was that he believed Hephaestion loved him just as much as he'd come to feel about Hephaestion. It did not take long to reach his rooms and Hephaestion silently followed beside him. There was a silence building up between them and Alexander so badly wanted it to go away. As they entered the room, he looked over at Hephaestion, and wanted so badly to say what he was feeling. He wanted to tell him but when Hephaestion looked over at him, again the words stuck in his throat.

"Is there anything you need," Hephaestion asked him. He was pulling the blanket back from Alexander's bed, moving his pillows into the positions that Alexander couldn't rest without. Alexander watched him, thinking of an answer. He didn't care about the pillows being placed correctly, nor anything else Hephaestion was doing. He needed him above anything else, yet did not know how to tell him such a thought. Hephaestion reached under a pillow and took the worn copy of the Iliad and began to turn through the pages. Hephaestion sat in a chair next to the bed, a candle illuminating his face, and Alexander did not hear the question asked about where he was in the book. He could only stare at the beautiful features that the gods had given to him in the form of a friend. As Hephaestion turned through pages, his brow knitted lightly, his lips turned down slightly in concentration. Yet it was the most beautiful he'd ever been, sitting in the light of one small candle, his eyes glittering like azure jewels. After a moment Hephaestion glanced up. "There is something wrong, and I wish that you would tell me. I can see it Alexander and it pains me not to be able to help you."

Alexander crossed to where Hephaestion sat. He reached down, and carefully took the Iliad from Hephaestion. He set it down on the table beside them. Then, he did the only thing in life that had been a thought that scared him. As Hephaestion sat, he moved so that he was straddling his legs, and lightly sat upon him facing him. Alexander leaned forward and took Hephaestion's lips with his own. He kissed him, far deeper then any kiss they'd ever shared before, and upon pulling away left Hephaestion gasping. Rejection would be painful yet worth the single moment that he'd just had. Yet he couldn't move away, for Hephaestion's hands were placed at his sides, and the other was holding him lightly to him. Hephaestion's eyes fluttered open and he looked at Alexander. Reaching out, he put a hand on Alexander's cheek and Alexander lowered his lips to his once more. There was something erotically wild about having Alexander on his lap, his body above his, playfully keeping him nailed to the chair.

Alexander heatedly kissed him, and as he did so he ran a hand through Hephaestion's hair. At the base of his neck he held Hephaestion to him. Hephaestion's lips parted and Alexander dangerously slid his tongue into the depths of Hephaestion's mouth. Boldly he let his tongue slide across Hephaestion's, and this was what caused the sudden stiffening at his thighs. He still expected some sort of rejection yet there was none. Hephaestion dug his fingers lightly into Alexander's hips before Alexander slid himself further onto his lap. Still kissing him boldly, Alexander tilted Hephaestion's head back, and delved deeper into his mouth. As he tilted his head Hephaestion's tongue met his, and just a few seconds after the kiss ended. Hephaestion turned his head, breath heavy, burning in his thighs. He felt his erection growing, but tried to ignore it, and hoped that Alexander would not notice it. However he was sure that Alexander had the same feelings. If he hadn't been before he was now.

"Hephaestion," Alexander said, a hint of fear in his voice, as he put his hands on Hephaestion's cheeks and turned him to look at him. He stared into his eyes for a moment. Yet he then continued, knowing that he could hide from Hephaestion no longer. But the words he spoke were so soft, so simple, he wondered if it would sound rehearsed or too cliché. "I love you, Phae."

Hephaestion parted his lips, about to speak, yet there was a sudden pounding at the door. Alexander glanced down at Hephaestion, placing a kiss on his forehead, before he stood. The pounding came again, yet this time was accompanied by his father's screams. Suddenly fear gripped him, and he grabbed Hephaestion. Silently Hephaestion opened a closet door and slipped behind it as he'd done so many times before. It was often when one of Alexander's parents would come to yell at him and Hephaestion would hide somewhere, listening to the poisoned words, but would be the first to bring Alexander comfort. Staring through the holes in the door he watched as Alexander walked to the door and opened it. Philip immediately shoved Alexander back, leaving him staggering, but he did not fall.

"You foolish child," Philip screamed as he approached Alexander. He grabbed him by both shoulders and shook him. Hephaestion began to chew at his bottom lip. He crossed his arms, watched as Philip shoved Alexander again. "You continue to embarrass me!"

"I have done nothing," Alexander began but was silenced by a slap to the face. As his head turned he cursed. Looking back at his father he glared, but said nothing more. Hephaestion continued to watch, but tasted coppery blood on his tongue. He stopped chewing on his lip, but sucked at the blood, wanting desperately not to let it drip onto the floor. Yet more than anything he wanted to kill Philip with his own bare hands. He hated him. Philip only brought Alexander pain, and Hephaestion wished he could relieve his pains.

"Stupid child, I just made a toast in your honor!"

"And I wasn't there to be your shining glory," Alexander spat, pushing away from him. Hephaestion almost sunk to the floor as Philip only advanced. Sometimes he wondered why Alexander had to be so strong. Philip grabbed him, this time punching the side of his face, and Hephaestion had to bite his lip again before he screamed out. Alexander flailed back with him. The struggle was over within a few moments. Alexander could have all the rage in the world, but when Philip was drunk there was nothing that could stop him. Philip wrapped his hands around Alexander's neck as he lay on the floor and began to choke him. Hephaestion knew that Philip wasn't going to let go this time.

Alexander struggled, trying to breathe as his father stared down at him with his one good eye. After a few moments the world was beginning to spin. He could not fight any longer and his hands were loosening at Philip's arms. But just as he was beginning to slip away something forced Philip to the floor. Alexander drew in a deep breath as Hephaestion knocked Philip to the floor. He forced himself up, already knowing this was going to end terribly.

Philip grabbed Hephaestion and carelessly threw him into a dresser. Hephaestion let out a gasp of air, but still stood. He threw himself at Philip again as he turned towards his son. Hephaestion threw himself on Philip's back, grabbing his chin, and forced his head back. Philip only turned, slamming Hephaestion into the wall. It took three hits before Hephaestion lost his grip and fell. Alexander was scrambling to get up, and just as he had risen saw Hephaestion crumple to the ground. The only thing between the two of them was Philip.

"Go," Hephaestion screamed. Alexander paused and watched for a moment, wondering what Philip would do. But he didn't have to wait long. Philip was coming for him, not Hephaestion. Yet he was frozen. He couldn't move, he could only stare at Hephaestion, wishing that he would get up. Biting his lip Hephaestion pushed himself off of the ground. He grabbed a vase on a table in the center of the room, and he hit slammed it against the back of Philip's head. Philip turned, grabbing Hephaestion's throat, and began to crush him. Hephaestion instantly wasn't getting air, but he still fought. He kicked at Philip and then the impact of the vase kicked in. Philip's grip loosened, and he soon crumpled to the floor.

Hephaestion stepped back, and stared down at Philip. Surely now he'd be put to death. Alexander took both of his hands though and forced his chin up. Hephaestion stared at him, still trembling slightly. Alexander threw his arms around him and held him, trying to calm him. Yet Hephaestion did not seem to notice. He still stared at Philip, who was definitely alive, but still not moving.

"Hephaestion," Alexander said, turning him so that he could not see Philip, but instead the balcony. He reached up and wiped the blood away from Hephaestion's lip. "Hephaestion, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Hephaestion did not know what he meant for some time. The words really did not sink in until he was taken to Olympias. She smiled, letting him and her son enter her chambers. Alexander was the first to fall asleep on the floor in blankets. Yet Olympias was awake, and Hephaestion could not sleep. He left the area he and Alexander were to hide in, and sat down across from Olympias. A dark brown boa was wrapping around her arm and neck. Hephaestion watched, wondering if the snake could squeeze the life from her, but she only stared up at him and smiled.

"You are very brave," Olympias said, her accent from another land making it sound as if she were whispering some spell to him. Hephaestion looked at her for a moment and then shook his head lightly. He looked away, into the other room, where Alexander lay sleeping soundly in the dark. Olympias smirked, and continued even though Hephaestion did not meet her gaze. "He would have killed him tonight had you not come along."

"Perhaps," Hephaestion whispered, staring still at the darkened form of Alexander. He wondered if Philip had woken yet. If he had, he had not yet checked here for Alexander yet. But Hephaestion still believed Philip would be looking for him. Being put to death would be the worst punishment, not because he would be dead, but because he would no longer be able to protect Alexander.

"You care for my son greatly," Olympias said, drawing Hephaestion's eyes back to her. "You love him as he does you."

"We are merely…"

"Lovers," Olympias cut in. "It is fine to admit it to me, for I already know. The two of you share a bond Hephaestion. You've had it since you were children. Now, you are both so old it seems when I look at you. The children are gone, replaced by young men. You are seventeen this year?"

"Yes."

"You've both grown so quickly," Olympias said with a kind smile. She then frowned, thinking of the night's events. "I never wished this for Alexander. If I had the right, and the ability, I would take him back to my lands. Even if I could though Philip would only hunt us down and kill us both. So I suppose he is safest here. Especially with you to protect him."

"I may not be here for long," Hephaestion added.

"He is drunk. He will forget such actions tomorrow. If he does not I will speak to him. Do not fear Hephaestion," she said before there was silence. Hephaestion turned, watching Alexander roll over in his sleep. There was so much to think about but he couldn't do it at the moment. After what seemed like an hour Olympias spoke again, drawing Hephaestion away from the thought of Alexander. He'd been hearing Alexander's confession of love over and over again. "Hephaestion, may I ask you something?"

He merely nodded.

"Had you been able to tonight," she asked. "Would you have killed him?"

"Yes," Hephaestion said strongly without a moment of hesitation. Olympias seemed unaffected by the answer. She too turned and looked at Alexander. After a moment of two Hephaestion elaborated. "I would kill anyone that tried to bring harm to him."

"At the risk of your own life?"

"Undoubtedly, my queen."

"Then that is true love," Olympias said as she stood. She put the snake back into a basket on the floor. After doing so she leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to Hephaestion's forehead, as she would have done if he were her son. She then retired for the night, leaving Hephaestion alone. Hephaestion stared at Alexander for some time before he began to toss and turn. Rising, Hephaestion went and lay down next to Alexander. Alexander tossed once more but this time his hand managed to land on Hephaestion's upper chest. Relaxing, Alexander stopped fighting the troubles of his nightmares, and slept soundly next to Hephaestion.

With a sudden movement Hephaestion awoke, sitting up in his sleep. He wiped sweat away from his brow and face. Panting he looked over at Alexander, who still slept soundly. Hephaestion was glad not to have woken him. He crawled out of bed and stepped out onto the balcony. He pulled at his hair, cursing quietly. He had to get back to Pella, before this idiotic plan was aloud to happen. Did he hate Philip, yes. Did he want Philip dead for what he'd done to Alexander, yes. But could he let an assassination happen, no. Could he let Alexander be torn apart over the loss of his father, no.

Did he know what to do now?

No.