NOTES: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! You have no idea how happy they've made me; I really didn't think this would get much notice, since there are no leading characters in it. As a part of Markham's personality, I've incorporated some odd punctuation and other quirks into his writing. So if you happen to notice, those aren't errors; they're intentional. Thank you PurpleYin for betaing this.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate: Atlantis and all things associated with it belong to other people, though Tamura and Gupta are mine.

SPOILERS: Before I Sleep

RATING: T

MARKHAM'S JOURNAL

August 1, 2004

It was an important day. The weather was good, so Dr. Simpson and I went back to Atlantis. Thankfully, the others had given up trying to get us to change our minds. During our slow descent, Dr. Simpson figured out how to measure the ship's power output and power reserves. She says there's plenty of power left in the ship to do almost everything we might want.

Atlantis was so perfectly intact, it looked like it could be a real city with people living in it, instead of the tomb it really is. It took her a while, but Dr. Simpson was eventually able to open the hatch to the Gate room. As soon as she did, we heard clanging against the hull of the ship. I was hopeful and horrified all at the same time, thinking it might be survivors but knowing there couldn't be any, especially after a week and a half. Then we saw some containers float past us. We both agreed we'd have to collect them when we were done.

The Gate room was a grim place, with many bodies, including those of Dr.s McKay and Grodin. It really shook Dr. Simpson, but she followed through with our plan as quickly as she could. It worked just like she'd said, but then she spotted a generator. She insisted on trying to get it, but no matter how we tried, every time the ship's shield activated it would push the generator outside the field. The displacement of water caused by the shield activating also disturbed Dr. Grodin's body, causing it to move creepily. I finally convinced her to give it up, but she had one more request. When we left, she closed the Gate room hatch again. There was just enough energy left in the city to do it. I think she didn't want the bodies disturbed. I appreciate the sentiment.

We took our time getting to the surface, again, in case of the bends. On the way, I tried to distract Dr. Simpson with a question neither of us had discussed. What happened to Maj. Sheppard's ship? It had become like a dream in my memory, so it was nice to know she remembered it, too. Plus, it got her mind off what we'd just been through. She had several theories. Perhaps they activated some sort of teleporter like the Asgard use. But if they had, then where were they now? Such a device would probably use a lot more energy than propulsion, which might mean they may be stranded somewhere. But if they were still on the planet, why had there been no response to our initial radio communications? Considering Maj. Sheppard's natural ability with Ancient technology, we agreed it was likely they had gotten to wherever they went in one piece. Perhaps some second party had teleported them away. Although more far-fetched, time travel and dimension travel are also possibilities, since it might explain their ship being different as easily as a teleporter. Plus it would explain why they don't seem to be anywhere now. Dr. Simpson can argue with herself as easily as she does with Dr. Kavanaugh.

I managed to keep the ship on the surface without swamping it while Dr. Simpson gathered everything that had floated up. Once we were done, we radioed back to the others, though only Miss Gupta had a radio with her. I was feeling more comfortable with the ship, so I decided to see how fast it could go. I don't know how long it took to get to the continent last time, but it took about half an hour this time around. Dr. Simpson says the ship's controls registered faster than Mach 5. It felt normal, so you would never guess the speed from inside the ship.

They had a bit of a surprise for us when we returned. On the overlook where we'd built the memorial, Dr.s Corrigan and Kavanaugh had hauled some logs and gathered more stones into the shape of Earth's chevron, with our shrine at its point. It was clearly visible from the air. If Earth ever does come to Atlantis with a ship, that should help them find us.

There was almost a feeling of celebration when we got back to camp. The containers were like treasure, though the contents are of mixed usefulness. One was full of syringes. It seemed a useless find without any medicine to go with it, but Miss Gupta pointed out the needles could be used for a variety of purposes, like sewing. Dr. Tamura and Miss Gupta were particularly happy about a big tin of tea bags. They brewed up a pot almost as soon as it was opened. I'd have preferred coffee, but they tell me the way it was packed would have caused the coffee to sink, not float.

The strangest item we picked up is a bottle of champagne. Dr. Tamura was so excited about it that she spoke in Japanese again. It's not that she cares about the drink, which they all say will be terrible because of what it's been through. What matters is that this is the only glass container we have. I hadn't even noticed. Now Dr. Tamura can do some experiments she couldn't do before. Plus, she says the champagne will provide the means to ferment our own alcohol and be used as yeast for bread. Local yeast would also work, but she feels using some from Earth is better. I didn't even know we had any hope of finding something to brew or bake with, but they've decided it's still spring, relatively speaking. They hope to find cultivated grain somewhere, now that we know the ship has the power for exploration.

It's late. My hand hurts. More tomorrow.

August 2, 2004

The second strangest item we found is a chess set. Based on the initials on the box, the Dr.s Simpson and Kavanaugh believe it was the personal item Dr. McKay brought with him. They treat it with a respect that makes me wonder about who he was. Although it's completely impractical, it's good to have something for entertainment besides my deck of cards.

The third strangest thing we salvaged is a microscope. They say it's nothing fancy, which makes them wonder if it might also be a personal item. That it's the only equipment of its kind that was so carefully packed does make you wonder. But that anything was loose enough from the flats they were wrapped in to float away is our good fortune. Dr. Tamura is very happy to have a microscope, too.

We also picked up a variety of plastic items, all of which will be put to good use, and more soap and pencils. No food, though, other than the tea and champagne.

The best thing about our return was that it brought us together as a group again. Dr. Kavanaugh actually congratulated us on our successful mission and safe return. We congratulated him and Dr. Corrigan on their efforts with the chevron marker. Discovering the initials on the chess set made Dr. Simpson a bit emotional and he consoled her, which is the first considerate act I've seen from him.

Now that we know there's plenty of power in the ship, they've switched to using the computers. Dr.s Tamura and Corrigan and Miss Gupta and myself are going to keep using the notebooks for convenience. They're easier to carry, won't break and might as well be put to good use. Miss Gupta keeps a journal, too, but she's also kind of established herself as our quarter master. If you want something, she knows where it is and how much is left. She's also become our barber, though only Dr. Corrigan and I have hair cuts that require any regular trimming. It's nice to be able to use Dr. Corrigan's electric razor again. The Dr.s had given up trying to shave with a knife and I'd been thinking about growing a beard, myself.

I've volunteered to be the one to always carry a radio, so, in case someone comes for us, we'll hear their transmission. Having one person doing it is simpler than taking shifts. The others have agreed.

There was enough sun for a warm shower again today. I shot another of those big birds I'm just going to call turkeys for lack of a better word. It tastes about the same.

Things are working out okay.

August 4, 2004

We took the day off, again, to visit the memorial and spend the day on the beach. This time Dr. Tamura taught us how to create shallows to collect salt. She and Miss Gupta agree we need to worry about having enough, which seems weird to me since salt's one of those things people avoid for their health back home.

Since my last entry, we've built a smoke house for smoking fish and a second water filter, one that will better utilize the charcoal we've made. We also built a small dam for power. It's weird that we have plenty of power in the ship, but we have no motors to convert that into physical energy. As smart as the Dr.s are, they can't figure out how we might do it with the supplies we have, so the dam will allow us to do stuff like churn butter and grind flour, once we catch something that makes milk and find some grain to grind.

We started making plans on how we might catch and transport an animal that makes milk. Since it should be a while before any grain will be ripe, catching livestock is more of a priority. Dr. Corrigan wants to make a map of the continent as we go, so we keep track of where we've been. We've agreed to go on the next rainy day, since good weather is best spent doing practical things.

We ate the first of our smoked fish for lunch. It gets a thumbs up from me.

August 6, 2004

Now we know one of the reasons Dr. Tamura has been able to figure out so much about edible plants. She's been using herself as a guinea pig and today she got sick from it. I found her collapsed on the shore downstream and as I carried her back to camp she told me what she'd done. Miss Gupta made a mixture out of charcoal and some other stuff that made Dr. Tamura throw up, but there's only so much she can do. I can't help but wonder if this is one of the reasons Dr. Tamura has been so intent on teaching us everything she can. Maybe she suspected something like this might happen.

When Dr. Simpson heard of it, she stormed into the cave and ordered me out. She made it clear none of the guys should come back for a while. I have no idea what went on in there, but you could occasionally hear Dr. Simpson's raised voice. It was only then that I considered how much more difficult it must be for the ladies than for us. Dr.s Corrigan, Kavanaugh and I are all from the US. Dr.s Simpson and Tamura and Miss Gupta are all from very different countries. It can't be easy for them.

I just don't understand why Dr. Tamura would do something so stupid. There are only the six of us left. How could she risk one of us? Don't we already know enough about the plants here to survive? Weren't the bottle and microscope supposed to help?

We've been pretty good at never going anywhere except in pairs, but I'm going to propose we make it a rule. I also think we should never travel any distance without one person carrying a radio. What if I hadn't found her when I did? I can't help thinking, maybe if I'd somehow asserted myself more, this wouldn't have happened. I don't intend for something like this to happen again.

August 7, 2004

Miss Gupta had us take Dr. Tamura to the ship to spend the night in a warmer, more comfortable place, so I got to sleep in the ship, too. It was difficult, with Dr. Tamura being miserable in the back, but she seems to be doing better this morning. She was able to sit up on her own and drink some soup. Dr. Simpson came early to help Miss Gupta take Dr. Tamura to the latrines and freshen up. It didn't look like anyone had slept well.

Dr. Corrigan discovered a beehive. He asked me to help him smoke it out and collect the honey, though we'll have to figure out some way of testing it before we eat it. While we were at it, he explained to me his theory about Dr. Tamura. Seems he knows some Japanese. Based on what Dr. Tamura said at the first memorial, he thinks she was in love with someone who died in Atlantis. That wasn't supposed to happen. The people who were chosen for the mission were supposed to be single and unattached and I said so. As he pointed out, it's not like it's something you'd put on an application or mention in an interview. He just thought I should know so I wouldn't bother her with too many questions. I asked him why he was telling just me and not Dr. Kavanaugh, and he said he thinks Dr. Simpson had also figured it out and would tell Dr. Kavanaugh, herself. That would explain what Dr. Simpson did yesterday.

Why did everything have to get so complicated again?

August 9, 2004

Dr. Tamura is better, physically. The ladies now seem much closer.

The others have agreed to my buddy and radio rules.

Dr. Tamura discovered what I'm calling bamboo and she knows a million uses for it. Suddenly, we have a lot of simple utensil options, plus another vegetable. I didn't know bamboo was a food, but when it first sprouts, it's soft enough to eat.

Today it rained, so we started exploring our world. We failed to find any signs of ruins, and our attempt to capture a milk-producing animal ended with what I'm calling goat for dinner instead of one in a pen, but it was our first attempt. Dr. Corrigan plans to make leather out of the hide.

Dr.s Tamura and Corrigan have figured out a possible way of making rope. More rope would help.

The honey is safe. We had our first sweetened tea today.

I got a haircut.

August 11, 2004

It's difficult to believe it's been three weeks. Sometimes it seems like we've been here forever, sometimes like we've only just arrived. We went to the beach, again. The weather is just starting to get warm enough that you only need a T-shirt.

Dr. Corrigan and Miss Gupta both had treats for us. Dr. Corrigan had made a set of pipes out of bamboo and played them pretty well. It was the first music we've had since Miss Gupta sang (prayed?) at the memorial. How we ended up with all that tech equipment and not a single music CD or file, I don't know.

More surprising was what Miss Gupta had made: a frisbee. She really can do the most amazing things with leftover plastic. It worked really well, though Dr. Simpson nearly lost it in the surf.

Dr. Tamura didn't teach us anything today. For some reason, this got me thinking about what I know that the others don't and I realized how my ability to use Ancient technology makes me just as important as the rest of them, maybe even more so. What if something were to happen to me? I can't teach anyone else to fly the ship or use the life detector, but I can teach them how to use the P-90 and what I know of hunting. They all seem to have pretty steady hands, but I've decided to ask Miss Gupta to learn, since she seems good at dealing with cleaning up the animals I bring back for us to eat. Besides, they say women tend to have better marksmanship.

August 14, 2004

We made our first rope today. Dr. Tamura was right about this one plant making usable fibers, and Dr. Corrigan taught us to make the fibers into rope. It's a long process. Spinning it takes two people and is a pain, but we've finally got a decent chance to catch some animals for milk and maybe eggs. Just the thought of eggs makes my mouth water. Sure, I can shoot turkeys and they taste good enough, but there are so many wonderful things you can do with eggs.

August 18, 2004

We've been here a month, if you count a month as four weeks.

We all sat together knotting our rope into a net and sharing stories of friends we'd lost in Atlantis. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare of drowning with them and the loss and horror are as fresh as the day it happened. But today we all told funny stories, we celebrated their lives with laughter. It felt good.

August 20, 2004

Miss Gupta shot her first turkey. She now knows the P-90 as well as I do and I'm learning about medicine from her. Since my training includes first aid, it makes the most sense that I be the one to learn medicine.

Dr. Kavanaugh discovered what I'm calling peas. Tomorrow, Dr. Tamura will lead us on a mission to harvest all we can find. She says it'll take too long to test them for edibility, that we need to pick them as soon as possible or they'll become too old. If they pass muster, it seems she intends to either save the seeds for a fall planting or for next spring. If not, they can possibly supplement the food of whatever animals we might capture

August 25, 2004

It's rained the past two days. After our success yesterday, we decided to stay in today. We played cards and chess and made another net, this one should be fine enough for fishing.

Still no ruins, but we finally caught ourselves some goats, including two females with kids. It was a real team effort. Miss Gupta knows how to milk animals. She's teaching us how while Dr. Tamura figures out the best way to deal with cheese. Finally we'll be able to put the dam's power to good use. Using the microscope, Dr. Tamura and Miss Gupta haven't found anything in the milk that concerns them, but they want to be certain before we all try it. Dr. Kavanaugh has volunteered to be our dairy guinea pig.

August 28, 2004

Dr. Tamura has discovered a plant like a potato she thinks will be important to our future food supply. The plants are still too young to be of much use to us now, but she wants to cultivate them. We've been converting some of the memorial outlook into a potato patch. It's hard work, but I like the idea of eventually having potatoes. Dr. Corrigan made some wooden tools to make dealing with the ground a bit easier instead of using our folding shovels for everything.

With the rain and the increasing heat, we're beginning to have to deal with bugs. Thank goodness we have plastic for storage. So far, no one's had any reactions to anything, but it's annoying. Dr. Tamura is now trying to figure out if burning any of the local plants so they smoke will keep away the bugs without causing us too many problems. I sure hope she finds something. It's not too bad along the stream and by the beach, but the woods can be a pain. I've switched back to long sleeved shirts whenever I go hunting.