NOTES: Now a wonderful, rambly review from NenyaVilyaNenya--thank you! You all are making me so happy. Thank you, PurpleYin, for betaing this.

DISCLAIMER: Stargate: Atlantis and all things associated with it belong to other people, though Tamura and Gupta are mine.

SPOILERS: Before I Sleep

RATING: T

MARKHAM'S JOURNAL

October 4, 2004

It's rained on and off for three days straight. Still no ruins or anything else particularly interesting. I kind of feel sorry for Dr. Corrigan. While his knowledge has been a tremendous help, unlike the rest of us, he hasn't been able to actually do any work in his field. Maybe studying our little society is enough for him.

I got a haircut.

October 6, 2004

This week, we did our best to create what will hopefully be a flour mill and all but ruined an ax in the process. We tested it with nuts and it did okay. Now if we could just find some grain.

We hit the mountains for our day of rest, though we went to a different range this time. As usual, Dr. Corrigan rode shotgun and kept looking for any sign of anything that might be ruins during the trip, but he relaxed and played frisbee with us once we got there. We keep telling him if there are ruins he'll find them eventually. He says he knows, but I'm not sure he really means it. Although we're doing okay, its as if he feels our best chance at survival lies with him finding us another Stargate as soon as possible.

The evidence in Antarctica suggests the Ancients arrived here millions of years ago, so Dr.s Corrigan, Simpson and Kavanaugh all think there must be other planets with Gates in this galaxy. The ship seems to have a built in DHD, so if we find a Gate with a DHD that's as low on power as Atlantis was, Dr.s Simpson and Kavanaugh say the ship has enough power to make gating within Pegasus possible. They believe it's possible to use the ship's DHD to activate the Atlantis Gate even though it's underwater, but we all agree it could be devastating to anyone on the other side. Besides, we have no clue about local addresses and it would be a waste of energy to dial randomly. But Dr. Corrigan is sure that if we find another Gate, we'll probably find a list of addresses nearby. That's all well and good, but I know about the bad things you can come across at the other end of the wrong wormhole. This planet has been safe so far, but the possibility that there's something in Pegasus that drove the Ancients into hiding is pretty high. Should we really consider risking our lives exploring it?

We were supposed to explore Atlantis for Ancient technology, the galaxy was not our top priority. We don't even have a MALP to test for breathable air, let alone the SGC and multinational resources to bail us out if we stumble into a sticky situation. We only have so many rounds of ammunition left and I think every one of them should be used for hunting. The more I think about it, the more I think it would be a bad idea to use a Gate to explore Pegasus on our own. If we could dial back to Earth, fine, but otherwise, I think it's too chancy. It's not worth jeopardizing our safety in hopes of finding someone out there who'll help us or trade with us. I just don't know if I should discuss this with anyone now or forget about it until we find something.

October 13, 2004

It's been three months.

I got to be the backup goat herd for Dr. Tamura this week. Maybe what happened with her getting sick affected my perspective, but I'd originally thought she shouldn't have to do it because she's so petite. Even so, she's got metal in her and doesn't let the goats get the better of her. I suppose they wouldn't have let people who'd cave easily under pressure come to Atlantis. It certainly seems to have been the case where we're concerned. Col. Sumner had a bit of an attitude about civilians, but after all the things we've been through and accomplished, I have nothing but respect for these people.

Instead of family, Dr. Tamura and I talked about places. I never imagined botanists traveled so much. Thanks to flying to Antarctica for an interview with Dr. Weir, Dr. Tamura has been to every continent. She can be a bit quiet, but once you get her talking, she has some pretty interesting stories to tell.

Dr.s Corrigan and Kavanaugh tried their first pottery glaze, but it failed. They plan to adjust the mixture and try again when we've got enough wood for another firing. As a side benefit, Dr. Kavanaugh created a set of deodorant stones for everyone while he and Dr. Corrigan were trying to figure out the glaze. It was our rest day surprise. We ran out of deodorant and toothpaste a while ago, so being able to replace one is a luxury. I seem to be the only one who'd never heard of a deodorant stone.

Aside from the stones, we had a fish fry and told ghost stories, even though it's not Halloween yet. Dr. Tamura says summer is the time for ghost stories in Japan, that it distracts from the heat. It sure is getting hot these days. Her story and Miss Gupta's were the most interesting.

The apiary seems to be working. It'll make harvesting honey a lot easier, since the bees here tend to build their nests underground.

October 15, 2004

Since they're better at it, the ladies took the day to collect salt while we guys dug another latrine. I had weeding duty yesterday. I never imagined I'd be digging holes, herding goats and tending a potato patch when I signed on for Atlantis.

October 20, 2004

My birthday was this week and we celebrated it today. Instead of a meringue cake like Dr. Simpson had, I got one of ground nuts and seeds with whipped cream frosting. It was really filling, though the whipped cream melted pretty quick because it was so hot. They humored me and played volleyball. My team won both games again.

I got some great stuff.

Dr. Corrigan made a pair of moccasins for me to wear around camp. Dr. Tamura and I do the most walking, but Dr. Tamura weighs so little, her boots aren't really showing it like mine. I tried the moccasins on and everyone laughed because they look funny with my pants. But they'll extend the life of my boots, so I don't care how they look. They're pretty comfortable, too.

Miss Gupta carved me a comb. Over the months, mine has busted a lot of teeth. She says it's because my hair is too tough and the teeth are too close for it. I learned early on in the military, never argue with your barber or the Chef. So she carved me one that has slightly wider tines a bit further apart. It works like a charm. The handle is decorated with carvings of turkeys. I asked her if it was a comment on my hunting skills or my personality. She said I shouldn't limit myself to one interpretation.

Dr. Tamura gave me a straw hat. It's pretty impressive, with a band made of a salvaged worn out shirt, leather laces and a polished goat horn bead to tighten them. I couldn't believe how well it fit and asked how she knew my hat size. It turns out she and Miss Gupta worked on their gifts to me while goat herding together. Since Miss Gupta is my barber and physician, she knew how big the hat needed to be. It'll be very useful. After all, no one burns easier than me, not even Dr. Simpson. The hat from my pack doesn't breathe very well, so my choices have been wear it and swelter or don't and fry. Now everyone else wants one.

Dr. Tamura also named the fruit I discovered after me. How cool is that?

Lacking in the craft gene like me, Dr.s Simpson and Kavanaugh offered to take my next two rounds as goat herd, which I happily accepted.

October 24, 2004

It rained. This time we finally found grain. It's not quite what we were hoping for, but it's still a relief. We were exploring a quadrant that has a lot of swampy lakes and found what I'm calling wild rice. The sample we took back to Dr. Tamura had her speaking in Japanese she was so excited. She says it's not ripe yet and was probably never a cultivated grain, but it should serve our needs. It'll be difficult to harvest, but we're working on plans for that.

As a bonus, we also found hot springs, though they're no where near the wild rice. We're going to go back on our next day of rest.

October 26, 2004

We visited the hot springs today and everyone took turns taking a long, hot bath. It was so wonderful I proposed we pick up camp and move there, but no one took me seriously. I suppose we can always fly there whenever we want. Still, a hot bath every day would be really nice.

October 28, 2004

Dr.s Corrigan and Kavanaugh tried a second glaze today. It was a miserable hot day to begin with, so tending the kiln was no fun. I burned my hand, but it was worth it because this time it worked. We now have several glazed pots and bowls we can use for cooking and other things. They may not be pretty, but they work. Tomorrow, we celebrate with stew and fruit cobbler.