Chapter Four

Sawyer woke again with a start. He blinked a few times, then sat up. He rubbed his neck and tried to shift, then felt that he had become a little too excited while he slept. He heard Ana coming and quickly covered himself with his pillow.

Ana appeared in the doorway with a funny smile on her face.

"Sleeping beauty awakes."

"How long I've been out?"

"About an hour and a half. Come on. I'm about to get something to eat."

"Oh, really? You cooked for me. That's so sweet. I thought there was more to you than your big mouth."

Ana walked out, saying over her shoulder, "Put a sock in it, Billy the Kid. I didn't cook for you. I just want a trained parrot sitting across from me to talk to. I'm bored."

Sawyer waited until she was gone to get himself together. Once he felt that he had calmed himself sufficiently, he walked out to the living area where he found Ana sitting at the table, eating a meal. And true to her word, she had nothing for him.

"What's wrong with women today? Used to be a sick man could count on some good home-cooking from a woman. Now he's left to fend for himself."

"The man has to be worth something for a woman go around bustin' her butt to feed him," she said, taking a forkful of spaghetti.

Sawyer stopped mid-stride. "You not trying to say I ain't worth a woman's time, Xena?"

"I don't see any clamoring for your attention," she said, looking up from her food, batting her eyes.

Sawyer walked over to the table and leaned down. "No one clamoring for yours either, so I guess you ain't worth much either."

They stared at each other intensely for a moment before she laughed. "Maybe because they can't handle a woman who isn't about to fall to her knees, mouth open, ready to serve. For me it has to be the other way around."

"Nothing like a selfish woman, especially one who doesn't know her role."

"My role?"

Sawyer took a seat. "Yeah, your role. To serve The Sawyer in any way he sees fit. And right now, I see fit for you to get me something to eat."

Ana took a few more bites of her food, then asked, "If I don't?"

"Then I'll have no option but to punish you."

Ana did a fake pout. "Really, big daddy? I don't think you have the ability to punish a fly, let alone a woman. Save those silly comments for that girl Kate you're chasing."

Sawyer nodded. "Yeah, maybe I will. I mean, Kate is a real woman. The only kind of man that could deal with you is Jack. He had his balls taken from him a long time ago."

Ana fell out laughing then. When she calmed, she said with a giggle in her voice, "Yeah, your girl Kate would rather play with what little is left of his, than spend one minute trying find yours."

Sawyer laughed himself, shaking his head. "Right. And that just chaps your ass, doesn't it? Because you know those type of girls always upstage you in the end. Kate understands the game, the rules. A man has to feel like a man, like he has some use or it just ain't gonna work."

"I see. And somehow I can't get a man because I ain't gonna to cater to his every need and whim. Rather, I can't have real man."

"Yep."

"Well I guess I'll be all alone. I can't have a man who doesn't believe in me having opinions, or wants to be treated like a child. I want a man who likes a strong woman who will have his back when he needs it, and will take care of him because she knows he'll take care of her, who doesn't want a woman to act like a servant." She scooped up more spaghetti and shoved it in her mouth with a smug smile.

Sawyer reached over and wiped the sauce off of Ana's chin. He touched her face with such gentleness that she didn't know how to feel and she stopped chewing. She swallowed hard, mumbling thanks. Sawyer smirked at the effect he had on her, but it faded into astonishment when she told him, "Spaghetti on the counter over there, " hitching a thumb over her shoulder.

Sawyer's eye followed the direction of the thumb, and indeed found the spaghetti there. He glanced back at her.

"I thought you don't serve a man that ain't served you first?"

She just kept eating, smiling into her plate.

Sawyer got up and retrieved his meal. He brought it back to the table and began wolfing down his food. Ana stared at him in disgust before returning to her own meal. They ate in a comfortable silence, enjoying the slice of normalcy that the spaghetti provided. It was a reminder of what had been lost.

They were almost finished before Ana felt the need to speak.

"I was raised that you didn't come to the table looking like soap hasn't touched you in a decade."

Sawyer choked slightly. Swallowing with a shake of his head, he said, "What you tryin' to say, Chica. I'm unclean?"

"You're looking a little sweaty there, Sawyer," she said in a serious voice.

"I knew you liked looking at me. You didn't think I noticed you sneaking looks, watching me sleep. But I didn't know you cared like that."

Ana stared at him. She wanted to slap the smile off his face but instead said, "The only reason I looked at you was to try and figure out the best way to throw water on you to wash away the maximum amount of dirt. Otherwise, I never would have glanced in your direction."

Sawyer sucked his teeth. "I see. Well if you didn't notice, I happen to have an arm that I can't use as effectively as I would like."

"What? Lady Kate is too good to help you out? I thought she understood how to take care of man, or is she too busy takin' care of someone else to help you?"

Annoyance flashed through Sawyer's eyes and Ana laughed inwardly. She loved how his face hardened when he thought about Kate with someone else. Yet, a small part of her wished she could have that same effect on him. It would be nice to have someone interested in her for a reason besides leading folks or pumping her for info about the others.

"No. I was too sick to move, you know from that infection I got, probably brought on from the dirt stuffed into it when a certain Commando Witch stepped on it."

"Who me?" She pointed at herself, smiling.

Sawyer smiled again. "Yeah, you."

"Oops. I guess that was mean of me," she said in a high-pitched girly voice. "But I declare, that isn't a good excuse, considering you are well enough to feed your pie hole."

"Well considering that it takes no effort to lift a fork, I don't see why I can't eat. But since you were the cause of this problem--"

"What!"

"I propose that you pay penance by bathing me," he said in a sly, smooth voice.

She made her eyes wide. "Oh well, I never," she said, feigning haughtiness. She walked behind him and leaned down to his ear. In a sexy voice she offered, "But I'll wash your hair if you push the buttons." She then left Sawyer.

He could still feel her warm breath on his neck. It sent a warmth to the pit of his stomach and more. He watched her butt sway back and forth as she walked away, until she looked over her shoulder.

"What'll it be Cowboy? Getting pampered by GI Jane, or waiting for the prom queen to come clean you up?"

Ana was just heading to the showers when the alarm went off again.

Ana had found the spaghetti in storage and debated whether to make enough for Sawyer. After a few minutes of thinking how about how he wouldn't do it for her, she grabbed two cans anyway and made the meal. When she went to tell him, she saw him cover his lap to hide his obvious arousal. She wanted to call him on it, but she let it go, instead inviting him to eat.

While he slept, she was nagged by her memories. The momentary relief Sawyer gave her started to fade and she felt the frost coming back. Her mind screamed at what she could do to stop it. She didn't understand why she felt like this, or what was creating the effect. All she knew was that it was back and she needed freedom from it.

Dinner with Sawyer did that, although the whole time, she was hiding the fact that she was shaking like a leaf. She was cold in a warm building, on an island for God's sake. And what was starting to really intrigue and frighten her at the same time, was that she hadn't felt anything until Sawyer touched her. It was a butterfly effect. All the tension she had been hiding was replaced by heat surging through her body. She felt alive, like she mattered, validated. She couldn't believe that he could do that for her, but then she remembered that Eko had that same effect, and even Jack did to a certain extent. Contact with the human race she understood, kept her demons at bay.

When she commented about Sawyer's state of cleanliness, she was only half joking. He didn't smell, but his hair was just a greasy mess. She knew that he bathed because she smelled the soap on him. But he probably couldn't wash his hair the way he needed. For a moment, she wanted to do something nice for the man besides making a meal for him. That had just been common courtesy. But washing his hair would say, "Yeah, it was foul to smash your already-messed-up shoulder with my boot." Of course, he would have to pay a small price for that service. But pushing the buttons was a small price to pay to get pampered. It also benefited her. She would have some company and could further understand why she couldn't rid herself of the frost that followed.

She entered the shower area wondering if she would have to run back and turn off the alarm. But the blaring stopped and she knew that he had taken her up on her offer. She looked around at the place where it had all begun. She felt a chill run through her as she stepped into the room, removing her vest.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Sawyer walked towards the shower room wondering what was behind the sharp-tongued woman's offer. He had wanted to wash his hair properly for three days, but raising his arm still shot pains through his arm and shoulder. He had planned to get Kate to help him, but the opportunity to have the hellcat take care of it was to good to pass up. So he entered the numbers and made his way to the showers.

He found her standing in the middle of the room, staring out into space. She wasn't freaking out, but she wasn't really pay attention to anything around her either. He watched her, waiting to see if she would snap, but she did nothing. Curious, he walked in the room. Only then did she glance over her shoulder to reveal a faint smile.

"So I guess we'll use the sink." She turned from him, but Sawyer could have sworn he saw her shiver.