Title: Random Bits 1 - Chapter 1
Setting: Yuna, Rikku, and Lulu have gone to the beach for a Girls Only day.
Besaid Village - Around noon. Auron, Wakka, Kimahri, and Tidus are enjoying each other's company in Tidus' tent while the girls are away.
Auron sat on the little couch, a scowl crouching comfortably on his face as he tried to stay as far away from Wakka as the couch would allow. Wakka squirmed uncomfortably. He just knew that Auron was Cursing him. He could practically hear the older man thinking 'Die Wakka, Die, Die, Diii-iiii-iiiiii-iiiieeee!'
"I'm so bored!" Tidus whined from his bed. Auron groaned inwardly, but remained seated when all he wanted to do was jump up and shove his sword down the boy's throat. Auron had agreed to meet his friends in Tidus' tent only because it was large enough to fit everyone comfortably.
"Sooooo bored!" Tidus sighed again. "I wish Yuna would come back. You guys are a bunch of stiffs. No offense Auron. And she smells better that you guys, too." he glanced pointedly at Kimahri.
The Ronso snarled. Seeing Tidus' imminent Death, Wakka quickly intervened. "Hey, let's all play a game" he suggested. (Death by Ronso was not one of the tidiest ways to die. It took forever to scrape the pieces off the walls and furniture, and the stains never came out.)
"I'd rather gouge out my other eye." Auron muttered vehemently.
"And I would rather kiss a chocobo's butt!" Tidus grumbled. "The last time we played a game, my shorts ended up filled with sand!"
"And hung from a palm tree. Yeah, I remember that." Auron said with more than the necessary touch of amusement.
Tidus frowned and was silent for a while. It didn't last long. "I'm soooo booorree!" Auron clapped a hand over Tidus' mouth. "Then let's liven things up." he said with a smile that could have sent a Chocobo Eater running for cover.
"I'll do anything!" Tidus nearly shouted, scrambling off the bed to stand in front of Auron. He practically vibrated with eagerness.
"Streak through the village."
Besaid - Beach - Yuna and Lulu are taking in the sun while Rikku builds a sandmachina.
Yuna sat up on her towel and shivered as an icy chill skittered down her back. "Are you alright?" Lulu asked as Yuna rubbed the goosebumps on her bare arms.
"Yeah, I just got this sudden chill."
Besaid - Village - Still in the tent.
"You got it!" Tidus replied, gleefully pulling off various articles of clothing. Auron would later become a gillionaire after editing the sphere and adding sleazy background music, then selling thousands of copies to Luca's female population.
Kimahri grabbed a paw-full of Tidus' hair as the boy tried to run out of the tent. "Tidus forgetting rules." the Ronso growled with a gruesome smile.
"Rules!" Tidus squeaked, pulling away with a reproachful look.
"That's right, brudda. In Spira, streaking follows rules." Wakka chimed in. "It makes things more interesting. Auron, I think it's Kimahir's turn, ya?"
"Yeah." The veteran Guardian said, mildly disappointed that it was not his turn.
Kimahri grunted in satisfaction and began. "1. Tidus must keep Tidus' hands above waist. 2. Tidus must 'kweh!' like chocobo at all times. 3. Tidus must do girly spin on toes whenever some one screams."
Any doubts Tidus was having were squashed by Pride and kicked under a bush where Better Judgment wouldn't find them. "No problem!" he scoffed, not wanting his friends to think he was chocobo (that's 'chicken' to all of you non-Spirans).
"Now, about the course," Auron began, enjoying the way the boy paled.
"There's a course!"
Kimahri nodded solemnly, while Auron and Wakka snickered and elbowed each other. "Tidus run big circle inside Temple. Run to Crusaders' Lodge and ask female at desk for lotion to put on strange rash!"
"But I don't have a rash!" Tidus snarled in indignation.
The big blue Ronso scratched an ear thoughtfully for a moment. There was a flurry of movement and Tidus squeaked, dancing a few steps away, with a big red welt in the shape of Kimahri's big blue hand on his backside.
"Ask female at desk for lotion to put on strange rash" the Ronso reiterated while Wakka and Auron wiped tears from their eyes. "Then run to elderly female sitting by Item Shop and ask for help with lotion. Then go roll in dirt outside village gates."
"That's it?" Tidus asked, choosing his words carefully, and keeping his voice neutral lest Kimahri add more to the list. The three older males nodded. "Think you can handle it?" Auron drawled. There was an insult in there somewhere, but Tidus just did not have the time to look for it. "You bet!" he returned, striking his classic pose.
"Ich! Don't do that when you're naked!" Wakka exclaimed with a shudder. Just because he was told not to, Tidus did it anyway. He danced around the tent in fact. (I'm sure there is some Law of the Universe that states that : When people between the ages of 4 and 35, especially men for some reason, are told not to do something, regardless of what it is, they will do it anyway, just on principle. Everyone knows it's the principle of the thing!)
Thinking quickly, Auron shoved the boy out of the tent as soon as his orbit brought him to the tent flap. Tidus stumbled out into the light and froze. "Hey! There's people out here!" Tidus yelped. "Start 'kwehing' you big crybaby." A voice hissed from the bowels of the tent. Tidus gulped and, flinging his arms up over his head, tore off towards the temple, a shrill 'kweh!' shattering the quiet of mundane island life. "There he goes." Wakka said, pulling a stool out of the tent to sit on.
That's it for chapter 1. Let me know what you think. Please review it or Tidus will cry. You don't want to make Tidus cry, do you?