Author's Note: Hello again everybody! Just for you I have obediently followed my muse (stop laughing Erik!) and am pleased to present to you this next installment of insanity! You have no idea how hard this chapter has been to write! It just fought me every step of the way but I promised everybody the party. Speaking of the party, everybody who reviews is there, so if you haven't reviewed yet just look at what you're missing! Even though I love all of my reviewers, I won't be mentioning any names because it would drag the story down to be saying so-and-so was over by so-and-so doing this and that all the time, so just imagine you're there and have a good time!
Disclaimer: Is there is anyone who knows when the copyright on Erik and company expires so when that day comes I can stop typing this sickening admission of the fact that I do not own any of said copyrighted characters? By the way, Mandy is still mine!
"Mandy, may I have a word with you in private?" Erik whispered to me as I dashed into the kitchen to grab my brownies out of the oven.
"Sure thing, what's up?" I replied all innocence and smiles as he followed me in and closed the door in the faces of some o the phans who were following him around as if in a daze. Stifling a smirk, I removed the brownies from the oven and attempted to hack them apart with my dinky plastic knife. It was an unspoken house rule that sharp objects were not allowed when Erik was around, lest he be tempted, but you had to draw the line somewhere and if he couldn't be trusted with plastic knives, the world was doomed anyway.
"Did you invite all these people?" he asked, leaning against the counter, clearly struggling to stay calm.
"Nope!" I cheerfully replied. "You invited the book characters with the exception of the ballerinas. At least I hope you didn't invite the ballerinas. Anyway, I know I didn't invite the ballerinas but other than them, yep I invited them."
"Why? How could you do this to me?" he ranted as his control slipped away. "I trusted you and this is how you repay me!"
"Tell me how you really feel Erik, just let it all out," I soothed, quickly stashing the knife in a drawer. Hey, I'm not about to get myself blamed for the fate of the world! Walking over to him I touched his arm and tried to appear sympathetic and understanding. "Think of it as therapy…"
He gave me his little half-amused smile and was about to reply but just then a timid knock on the door interrupted our session and Christine's pretty little voice called out through the door. "Mandy, Sorelli's here with Philippe. Do you want them to…"
Her voice was lost as Erik suddenly panicked and grabbed me by the shoulders shouting, "Tell me you didn't invite the Fop! You promised you wouldn't invite the Fop!" His eyes looked ready to pop out of his head, poor guy.
"I promise I didn't invite the Fop."
"Raoul!" Christine happily exclaimed through the door.
"I promise I didn't invite the Fop," I repeated. Erik groaned and sank to the floor. Sliding down to sit beside him, I tried to think of some way to cheer him up.
"Oh, I haven't told you yet! My masterpiece wasn't destroyed, isn't that great!" Erik mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "whoopee" but I ignored his sarcasm and blabbed on. "Lets see what else…Oh! Nadir helped me with the decorations and stuff. He's really very talented, you should go see it."
"I'm not going back out there." He muttered, sounding halfway depressed and halfway like a pouting kid. He's just so cute! " Not if he's there."
"Now Erik, you have to go and look at them or you'll hurt his feelings. You know how sensitive Nadir is about stuff like that." Receiving only a snort in reply, I frowned at him. "Besides, Raouly-boy won't be staying because he wasn't invited and nobody crashes my party." Standing up I held out a hand for him but he just looked at me. "Come on Erik, everybody wants to see you."
"Uhn't uh."
"Fine. You can kick him out, okay? Just get up off the floor and come out to the party for a while. It'll be fun, you'll see." Scowling up at me he continued to sit on the floor so I gave it to him, the ultimate threat, the worst possible torture I could think of. "If you don't come out right now, I'm going to tell all those people out there to get in here and make you come out using whatever means necessary."
"Fine!" he snapped, ignoring my hand as he pushed himself up off the floor. No sooner had he risen though than he burst into tears. "She doesn't love me! She'll never love me…!" His shoulders drooped and his head hung limply down, instantly reminding me of dear old melancholy Eeyore. How can you stay mad at somebody like that?
"Awe, come on Erik, just give it a chance. Besides, it's hard to fall in love with somebody who isn't even in the same room."
"I guess so…" he sniffled pathetically, trying to stop the tears.
"Oh, come here…" rolling my eyes I gave him a big hug and felt him gingerly hug back. "Now, don't you feel better?" I asked, smiling as I pulled way. He smiled back shyly and nodded. "Good. Now wipe off those tears and lets go have some fun." Collecting my plate of brownies we headed out the door together.
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"Ah, Sorelli, and Philippe! How wonderful you could come!" I greeted the two late arrivals pointedly ignoring the Viscomte who was sitting on the sofa next to Christine not two feet from me as I set down the plate, which was instantly attacked by the apparently brownie-loving phans. I was pleased to note that they obediently followed the rules and didn't swarm over Erik as he walked over to stand beside Christine who smiled up at him, though every last one of them tracked him with their gaze, like a pack of wolves awaiting any sing of weakness to strike.
"Meg dear, could I have a word with you?" I asked over the blaring music, my fake smile hiding my true desire of smacking the chatterbox whose big mouth had been the cause of poor Erik's distress. "So nobody brings their little brother with them to a party huh?" I asked as soon as we were where no one could hear.
"The Comte didn't bring him, he brought the green bean casserole! The Viscomte just showed up!" she gaily chirped, making even her denial sound like a pompom cheer. Ugh! Death to excessive happiness!
"Well he's going to leave right now!"
"Who's leaving?" Nadir asked as he limped up behind us startling Meg, who jumped up looking ready to run screaming and telling tales of her near-death brush with the Opera Ghost. Giving her one of his odd looks he slowly backed away a step.
"Oh sorry, Daroga. I was just informing Meg here that his royal foppiness was about to immediately vacate the premises."
"What?" he asked though I couldn't tell if he was confused more by the terminology or the idea itself. I debated messing with his head some more, just for the fun of it, but decided my anti-fop campaign was more important, and that my revenge could wait a bit.
"Raoul is leaving now."
"He is?"
"He is." Glancing around him, I glared at a girl who was gazing adoringly up at a highly uncomfortable Philippe. The fact she was gazing wasn't so bad but the fact that she was petting his shoe as she kneeled at his feet was clearly not winning him any points with the fuming Sorelli. Taking the hint she scooted away but she clearly longed to take the shoe with her.
"Is he aware of this?"
"I was just about to inform him but since you were so kind as to volunteer to tell him, I'll just let you handle it." Pretending to brush him off with that I made it two steps before he spun me back around. Looking at his shocked face I couldn't help laughing. "Okay, clam down, I was just kidding. Of course I'm going to kick him out, why should I let you have all the fun? Hey Raoul?" I called as I waltzed back over to where he sat.
"Hi Mandy! This is a great party!" he announced, doing a very good impression of a bobble head. His little flock of fans tried unsuccessfully to imitate him without getting nauseous.
"Thanks, I'm glad you like it, but its time for you to go now."
" Why?" he asked looking up at me like a forlorn puppy with big tears welling up in his eyes. "Is it because you don't like me?"
Yes! my mind shouted. "Of course I like you Raoul," I like you fatally sick, I like you mortally wounded, drowned at sea… "But it's just that you weren't invited because I know how nervous you get around new people."
"I do?" the mental midget actually sat there and pondered this even as I collected his coat and things for him to go.
"Yes, you do and I would hate for you to have a panic attack or anything and have to call an ambulance and then be forced to try and convince them to actually help you…" I told him as he obediently rose and put on his coat. Christine followed as I escorted him to the mirror, chatting all the way. "Anyway I'm glad you had a good time while you were here. Maybe we can get together again sometime when there are less witnesses around."
"Yes, that would be splendid! Goodbye Mandy," he said as he reached out to hug and probably kiss me. The guy's a total kiss-aholoic. Jumping back about a yard I managed to politely nod goodbye as he turned to Christine. "Goodbye Little Lotte," he said before giving her a sickeningly slobbery kiss.
"Goodbye Raoul," she whispered as he marched out the mirror, then quickly grabbed a tissue to wipe the slime off her face with a look of disgust. Quickly returning to the sofa, she contentedly sat down beside the now happy Erik, who slyly gave me a thumbs-up. Surveying the partying crowd who were dancing or lounging around chatting with each other and the cast, I easily spotted my prey.
"Okay! One problem solved, now its time for revenge!"
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"See I told you it was good, have some more." I laughed, filling Nadir's cup to the brim yet again. Two down and who knows how many more to go, the Persian was defiantly getting wobbly but he would be completely smashed before the night was over if he kept up drinking at this rate. Although that wasn't my intention, he probably did deserve a nice hangover in the morning. He laughed and said something in Persian. "What?" I asked over the music, as we were standing next to one of the speakers.
"Pretty good, aren't you going to have some?"
"Maybe later, but don't stop on my account, you're here to enjoy yourself." I couldn't help giggling as he downed the entire glass and began to move to the music. While we had started out with some of the more upbeat classical music to placate Erik, but eventually somebody had put in more modern stuff that was better suited to a party. I watched as he began to really get into the music and advanced from a head bob to full body movement. Wriggling his way to the space being used as a dance floor, he instantly cleared the area as the phans all stopped to watch him go. Really it was just too bizarre, watching as he did "his thing", which apparently was a three stooges version of break dancing with a good helping of the Macarena thrown in. In any event, there was a whole lot of hip and arm movement and not a lot of talent.
"What is he doing?" Erik whispered in my ear as he watched his old friend try to spin on the floor.
"I have no idea but as long as he doesn't want to sing karaoke I'm okay with it." I replied as Nadir gave up on spinning and resumed his crazy epileptic dance. "Look at him! He's made of Jell-O, nobody moves like that!"
Erik chuckled softly and went to collect his friend before he disgraced himself any further, but Nadir, seeing Erik's intent to remove him from the dance floor, quickly avoided his grasp and climbed onto the table among the assorted party food goodies.
"Hey get off the table! That's unsanitary!" I shouted as he nimbly avoided stepping directly into anything, though his pant leg did get drenched in Philippe's green bean casserole. Instead of listening to me, he happily turned to face his laughing audience, and commenced to disco his heart out.
"Staying alive, staying alive!" he shouted along with the Bee Gees, doing old John Travolta proud. The mosh-pit that had assembled around the table was cheering like mad. "Ha, ha, ha ha! Staying allllliiiiiiiiiiivvvvveeeee!"
By this time, Erik was nearly in tears as he laughed at Nadir's antics. "What did you do to him!" he managed to gasp out between laughs.
"Me! Why do you think I had anything to do with it?" I laughed back as the song ended and Nadir began to lead the group in his dreadfully exuberant version of the YMCA all the while shouting out the words along with the song.
"This has you written all over it, don't deny it!" he shouted back over Nadir's atrocious singing, panting as he happily flung his arms around with the others. Too soon the song came to a close, to much applause, and the still giggling Erik gracefully climbed up on the table to bring the drunken Daroga down. "Come now Nadir, that's enough for this evening…"
But Nadir was not about to stop. He continued dancing as Erik pursued him
across the table, and then as a slow song started began to seductively swing his hips around, much to the delight of the ladies present. Several whistles and catcalls greeted his sexy swaying, as he began slowly unbuttoning his shirt.
"Come on Erik!" I taunted. " Show him how it's done!" Erik whirled about furiously, his face bright red but the some phans were already chanting his name, daring him to dance like Nadir, and the others quickly joined in. He clearly would have stormed off the table had he not glanced over to see a giddy Christine chanting his name with the rest of them. "Erik! Erik! Erik!"
With a dramatic sigh, he resigned himself to his fate and quickly catching the rhythm, started swaying along with Nadir and slowly slid off his cloak. Purposely tossing it to me, as if he quite correctly feared the phans would tear it to shreds, he glided his hands up and down his torso, occasionally undoing one of the buttons on his coat, drawing out the dance. At this point, screams of approval blasted the air and every woman in the room was desperately whishing he'd tear the damn thing off, but also wishing for this to last forever. Eventually the coat and vest also came off, revealing his glowing white shirt, and he continued to take his time with the buttons as he rotated his hips to the beat. Ever so slowly the shirt was finally opened and slid down to his elbows, revealing his muscular chest.
It was at this perfect moment two horrific things occurred simultaneously, the seductive music shifted into the duck song and Daroga threw up all over the table. Disappointed and grossed out beyond belief, a collective groan of frustration was heard, as the mood was undeniably broken. Thankfully, someone quickly shut the evil song off. With a look of pure relief Erik quickly refastened his shirt and grabbed for his vest and coat, as Nadir continued to spew his cookies.
"I do believe," he muttered to Christine as he collected his cloak from me. "That it is time to go my dear."
"Yes, you're right," she wistfully replied as she gazed up at him, to the increased frustration of the female phans.
"Hey wait!" I cried to his retreating from. "Daroga's too drunk to get himself home, much less any of these people!" His only response was to raise his eyebrow. "Look I'd take them myself, but it wouldn't be safe. What if they tried to gang up on me and make me tell the secret…?" He considered this for a moment before nodding with yet another sigh of defeat.
"Okay everybody," I announced over the sounds of Nadir gagging, "Erik's taking you home now. I want to thank you all for coming, and I hope you had a good time." Several snickers were heard while Erik blushed. "Anyway, I'll see you later and I just want to remind you that Erik is quite prepared to kill anybody who touches him. Goodnight and pleasant dreams!" With many cries of "goodbye!" and "so long!" the group cheerfully departed leaving only Meg, Sorelli, Philippe, Nadir, who had finally stopped puking, and Christine.
Turning to the remaining few guests, I continued my farewells. "Sorelli, thanks for coming and you too Philippe! That was a great casserole! I'll wash the dish out tonight and get it back to you tomorrow." They both nodded happily before departing through the mirror.
"Meg, would you be so kind as to escort the Daroga here home. He's not quite up to traveling alone. I send you with a plastic sack just in case." Running to the kitchen, I grabbed the sack and quickly ushered the green-looking man and endlessly perky girl out.
"Wow," I sighed dropping to the sofa beside Christine. "That was some party!"
"Yeah," she giggled. "It was the best party I've ever been to!"
"Just don't let me do it again for a long time okay? I don't think I could handle it without a lot of sugar!" We laughed together and then settled into a comfortable silence, waiting for Erik's return.
"Mandy?" she asked after a while.
"Yeah?" I yawned.
"Do you like Erik?" she timidly asked.
"Of course I like Erik! He's the best!"
"No, I mean, do you really like Erik?"
"Yes I really like Erik. What are you getting at here?"
She sighed in frustration. "Do you love him?"
"Absolutely."
"Oh…"
"Is that it? Oh?" I questioned, turning to face her.
"Well it's just that… I mean…"
"Look, I love him now and I'll love him forever. That really doesn't mean diddley cause he's totally crazy about you and thinks of me as plain crazy. No biggie, I can handle that. Whether or not you break his heart is your affair, but if you don't learn to talk in complete sentences I cannot be held accountable for my actions."
Realizing I wasn't really going to smack her, she grinned at me and then stuck her tongue out, so I stuck mine out at her. This continued for a while until we were both laughing hysterically. That was how Erik found us.
"Come Christine," he said, an amused smile upon his face as he watched us madly giggling. "It is really very late."
"Yeah, see you later Christine!" I said as I hugged her goodbye.
"Come and see us soon!" She panted, hugging me back, her face still bright red.
"You got it!" I laughed, as we pulled apart. "And don't think you're getting away without a hug!" I teased Erik, as he stepped forward to say goodbye.
Smiling back, he hugged me tightly, my head dizzy with happiness. Two hugs at one party! "Goodbye," he whispered stepping back. Silently I waved goodbye as they disappeared through the mirror. With a quick glance around to double check everybody had indeed gone home, I flipped off the lights and crashed into bed.
AN: It's finally done! The party is over! Happy dance, happy dance! Do you see how long this chapter is! Not to worry, I'm not going to let this end yet! I've got way too many fantastic ideas for this story to just let it die off now! So ta for now!
Please Review!
PS – Philippe says he's willing to share his green bean casserole recipe if anybody wants it!
Disclaimer: I didn't want to spoil the surprise at the beginning but I also don't own Eeyore, the three stooges, the Macarena, Jell-o, the Bee Gees, their song 'Staying Alive', John Travolta or the Village People's 'YMCA'. I accept this and have moved on with my life.