Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER FIVE

Lily was shocked at the change in her senses. She couldn't believe how natural this felt. As if a part of her she had been denying, was finally free. It felt like she just discovered her long lost twin sister and she's now more whole than she ever thought possible.

She started to wiggle her new body in place and looked down at herself. 'Hooves,' she thought. 'Just like James. Although I see I'm all black and white, no greys. That's probably because I'm such a blend of light and dark. I mean I've always been a light witch, but that shield of Love is about as dark as Dark Arts get. Come to think of it, any spells based on love count as Dark Arts. Love is all about controlling a person, taking away their free will, their individuality, even their friends. And arithmantically, we know Love and Hate are practically interchangeable for each other when it comes to intent. Not to mention I tried to invoke a shield of Love with a willing sacrifice. That can't have made it any lighter. Oh yeah, I'm a naughty dark witch.'

Lily looked up and saw all the looks the men were giving. 'Wow. My beauty seems to have shocked them speechless. Course James looks a bit horrified, and Remus looks less composed than I think I've ever seen him.' She began to explore a bit more about her as yet unidentified form. She wiggled something new on her ass and realized, 'Sweet! I have a tail! I knew I would have a tail.'

Harry, Remus, Sirius, and James were all shocked into silence and refused to move. Watching Lily wiggle, Harry immediately tapped his face with his finger. James gulped so loudly it sounded like a cry for help. Remus and Sirius were both biting on their bottom lips, completely horrified at the idea of saying a word out loud. When she started to wiggle, Remus kept his face impassive but inside his body was twittering with unrestrained laughter. Remus looked over and saw Harry's face wasn't even moving with breath, nor was he blinking at all.

Remus subtly poked Sirius and pointed over to Harry. Padfoot saw how still Harry was and looked at Remus curiously. Remus was whispering out of the corner of his mouth. "I'm pretty sure he's petrified his own face. Lucky bugger. Now Padfoot, don't say a word. I really think she may kill one of us before this is over."

"I hope she kills Harry," Sirius whispered out of the corner of his own unmoving mouth.

Remus' eyes widened.

Sirius continued, "Oh come on. He'd probably come back anyway."

Remus conceded that point, but then all four men noticed Lily start swinging her tail. This was getting more and more difficult.

Lily saw Remus, Sirius, and James' eyes all just about bulge out of their heads when she was whipping her tail back and forth. Harry's pupils dilated instantly, but it looked like his face didn't even move. She thought she'd ask them what the matter was and opened her mouth. She was unprepared when the only sound that came out was, "Moo."

Harry, Remus, Sirius, and James all started turning red as soon as she mooed. The humor over the situation fled their bodies quickly when for the first time ever, they saw what was unmistakably a furious cow. The cow in question walked over and just stared angrily at Harry.

Harry quickly tapped his face and removed the petrification spell. He calmly and quietly said, "T- t- to change back, all you need to do is think the words 'Harry's a…'" Harry stopped when his voice cracked. "Harry's a genius." He finished.

With a soft pop, the cow transformed immediately back into a far less than pleased Lily Potter.

"Not a word," Lily hissed out. "The first person that says anything, I will castrate, and then use those parts to eviscerate them."

All four men stood completely still for a prolonged silence.

Weakly, James said, "Love you, honey."

Lily snapped her gaze at her husband but didn't return the proclamation.

Harry realized the other Marauders were in a lot of danger, and he probably was the most likely to get through this unscathed. He quietly and honestly said, "I thought you were very beautiful, Mommy."

Being called Mommy, even in an obvious attempt to calm her, did wonders for settling Lily's agitation. "Thank you, Harry."

Sirius, not a man known for his restraint, carefully tittered out, "Moooo-" Everyone snapped surprised looks at him. "-oooony, what do you think would be a good Marauder name?"

Remus paled and weakly said, "Err… I think this honor should fall to Omega."

Harry was looking around like a cornered skittish cat. "Err… umm… fine." He hurriedly rattled out, "Mr. Omega humbly suggests Bessie."

In the span of less than a second, Remus yelled "Seconded," Padfoot blurted out "Thirded," and Prongs immediately took the safe route his friends offered and said. "I abstain."

"What?" Lily asked dangerously.

Harry took advantage of the moment and hurried out, "Agreed then, welcome Miss Bessie. I'm just gonna…" And with a pop Harry safely removed himself from the situation.

Remus' eyes widened and he hurriedly exclaimed, "I'm going to see if Meg...," before turning tail to run.

"Me too," Sirius agreed and he chased after Remus.

Sirius and Remus were on the far side of the Chamber nosing around leaving Prongs to cheer up the newly christened Bessie.

"You skirts," Harry scolded with smile.

"Shhhh!" Remus said as he spun around to find Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I've got a silencing charm up around here."

"Oh, you do?" Sirius asked.

Harry nodded.

And that was their cue, as Remus and Sirius began howling in laughter. It was infectious as Harry too fell into giggles.

Sirius was wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. "Lils is a cow. That's priceless."

Remus was still snickering, remembering the abject look of horror on Lily's cow face when she mooed. "Never in a million years, would I have guessed that."

"Really?" Harry asked, having settled down. "That seems kind of odd, then, that it's her form, doesn't it? Because I mean, I fought a sixty foot basilisk when I was twelve. And I've never been more scared than I was back there. She was not happy with her form."

Sirius shrugged. "She does kind of chew as though her lower jaw is unhinged, in a goofy sort of cute circular fashion."

Harry was thinking deeply. "But she never struck you as very cow-like back then?"

Remus shook his head. "She's never had a weight problem, and has a bit more attitude than I associate with cows. Of course, we don't really know the devious things cows may be thinking."

Sirius was a bit unsettled, briefly imagining Lils leading a cow revolution.

Harry was shaking his head. "I know your form is your form, and doesn't change, but I wonder if being dead and coming back, gave her… like a reset since she hadn't ever connected with whatever her form had been when she was alive, cow or otherwise."

Sirius immediately popped into his familiar grim-like form and back. "I'm still me."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Of course you and Prongs have already trained, know your form intimately and have connected with it. I just can see how the cow form fits her better now, than it may have back then."

Remus considered the possibility and thought Harry's theory made sense. "Let's talk to Bessie and find out. I figure Prongs has said something stupid, and apologized properly by now."

The three of them made it back to main area and saw James doing his best to maintain his balance as he rode up top on a wild and crazy cow ride. He was facing the wrong way and needed both of his hands to keep from tipping left or right. And, of course, Bessie's speed would probably be described as a lackadaisical amble at best.

"Hey guys," James cheerfully greeted. "I'd offer you a ride on Bessie here, but they're not as fun as you might think."

"What are you doing?" Remus asked the turned around rider.

James grinned sheepishly. "Umm… reverse cow… girl."

With a pop, Lily transformed back and James fell to the floor directly behind her. "Oww, damn Lils. A little warning?"

She just glared at her husband. "I'm not the one offering sexual positions to our son, you imbecile."

James laughed. "Oh right," while Harry looked on worriedly.

Harry smiled carefully. "So, can I assume we've become more accepting of our inner cow?"

Lily blushed prettily and nodded her head. "Yes. The form felt really right, when it happened, it's just… not what I was expecting."

"We were discussing the same thing," Remus agreed. "I believe Harry had some ideas on how a cow may not have been your form when you were alive."

"Oh?" Lily asked. "Why's that? Because I certainly never felt any connection with cows before, though I do now."

"Well, I mean, not to be too crude or anything, but you died fifteen months after giving birth, still very much mothering me, and frankly providing milk. By bringing you back, I thought maybe since you hadn't connected before, your form may have been reset by, in some ways, being reborn." Harry explained. "Sort of stuck eternally in that provider role and you died before ever doing any of other things in your life you may have planned. Not that I know that much about cows, but they don't seem to do a whole lot."

"And there's the way you chew your food," Sirius added helpfully. Lily returned the favor with a conjured rubber ball that she beaned him with.

"And," Harry continued ignoring Sirius' wails about his head, "there is the whole, you died to save me, and the wizarding society views you as sacred, practically worships you."

Remus chuckled. "I hadn't even thought about that, but you're right. Bessie here would be a sacred cow if there ever was one."

Harry nodded. "It is one of the few creatures, entire societies respect and cultures revere as holy."

Sirius chuckled as he rubbed his rapidly swelling noggin. "Holy Lils."

Harry rolled his eyes. "But I am curious why you seemed so upset, because your anger seemed stronger than any disappointment."

Lily sighed. "I wasn't disappointed. It was just… I was remembering school. And your bitch of a cousin, Sirius."

"Which one?" Sirius asked.

"Ohhhh," Remus said as realization dawned over him. "Narcissa."

Lily nodded. "Yes, Narcissa," she said with complete loathing in her voice. Lily saw the confusion on her son's face. "She used to always call me a 'fat cow' or a 'heifer' and it really pissed me off when I realized she was right. Hey you think she did some dark ritual to make me a cow?"

Harry looked at the other guys' faces and shook his head. "I doubt it. I'm not sure something like that is even possible."

"Poo," Lily said with a small frown, as she unconsciously fought the impulse to say 'moo'. "You think maybe the names that I called her back then, came true for her as well?"

Harry chuckled. "They might have. What did you call her back then?"

Lily tapped her chin thoughtfully reminiscing. "I think the most common one was I called her a 'ferret-faced cum dumpster who could suck the shit from my asshole.'"

Harry smiled widely, impressed with his mum's verbal skills. "Not too sure about the necro-fecal-philia, but I know she was passed around the Death Eaters more often than the quaffle at the World Cup."

Lily beamed a victorious smile back. "Well that certainly makes me feel better."

Harry nodded. "I was thinking you all might want to slowly reacquaint yourself with a post-Voldemort world, and I've got a four bedroom apartment under a Fidelius above a particularly noisy business on Diagon Alley."

"Sounds perfect," James said. "You are going to live with us, right?"

Harry shrugged. "If you're sure you want me."

Sirius, James, and Lily all nodded vigorously.

"There's a bedroom there for you too, Moony, since I'm assuming my parents will share the Master." Harry said with a hopeful look at Remus.

Remus saw the pleading on Harry's face and quickly agreed. "I can stay, but I can also stay at my place too. It'll probably depend on how sober Padfoot is at any given time."

"Great!" Sirius cheered and he tried to make his evil smile look happy. "Now before we move into our new place, who's up for some burgers for lunch?"

"I am-" Lily said before she could stop herself. "Oh." She apparently just realized something. "Oh no."

Sirius was laughing at her frustration and never even saw the conjured rubber ball coming his way.

Harry, Remus, Sirius, James, and Lily ate lunch at a muggle restaurant. It went pretty much as Harry expected. His mother was now a reluctant vegetarian, who couldn't bring herself to even taste any form of beef, though she remembered fondly how juicy and delicious it is. His father was truly as muggle clueless as Harry had expected. Harry also managed to learn why his father swore so distinctively.

"All those slimy Slytherins swear by Salazar. You're Godric damn right I'll swear the way I want to." James explained and proceeded to try and recruit his son to pick up James' crusade. Apparently James failed to convince anyone else ever before that it was anything short of dorky, but Harry showed genuine interest.

Harry mentioned he would do his best to convince a new generation to swear by Godric, and James misunderstood his son's enthusiasm. When Remus explained it's because now they swear by Potter, James made his son promise to abandon his campaign of swearing by Godric. Harry reluctantly gave in, after he was forced to Obliviate a small family for the third time that evening.

When dessert rolled around, and Sirius asked if there were any desserts that came with beef, Lily just flung her fork right at him. Her aim was dead-on, but Harry had halted the fork's movement and it was hovering with its pointed tips about an inch from Padfoot's eyebrow. Harry decided this was time to go, seeing as a mass memory charm was going to interrupt dessert. It took a little arguing before Padfoot agreed they actually should pay for their meal, but the group left and Harry wiped all memory of their presence that evening.

With a pop, the quintet reappeared in Harry's Diagon Alley apartment. What they were not expecting was for there to already be someone there.

"Welcome," the old man said. "I've been expecting you."

Harry felt like crying in relief. "Nicholas! I am so glad to see you."

"Would you believe I could tell you needed my guidance?" Nicholas Flamel's eyes twinkled as he smiled at everyone. "Hello Remus, you're looking younger. I suspect your company may have something to do with that."

"You'd be correct as usual, Nicholas." Remus grinned. "I'm well aware of Harry's manners, so allow me to introduce Padfoot, Prongs, and the newly christened Bessie here. Gentlemen and lady, I'd like you to meet the esteemed Nicholas Flamel."

"Bessie?" Nicholas asked. "Has our young Potter's mother joined the bovine revolution?"

"There is one?" Sirius said with a step back.

Nicholas smiled. "Not yet." Sirius shuddered.

"Err, so what are you doing here, Nicky?"

Nicholas rolled his eyes. "The impatience of youth."

"Oi! I'm older than these two."

Nicholas seemed to be inspecting Lily and James. "Yes, I suppose you are. But anyways, as soon as I realized what was happening, I knew you'd be moving in here, so I brought over a couple portals to the library and the lab. As well as made sure the place looked respectable."

Harry nodded. "That's good thinking. I hadn't quite gotten that far ahead yet."

"Yes, I know." Nicholas said smugly.

Harry looked hopeful. "So with your all seeing eye, do you know what the plan is now?"

Nicholas put both of his fingers to his temples and began softly chanting. When he felt he had probably got as many confused stares as he was going to get, he opened his eyes and stopped chanting. "Yup. You five are going spend the rest of the day inside again, catching up with each other. I'm going to contact some of the people who will be in on the secret of Prongs, Padfoot, and Bessie's identities. And then with their help tomorrow, we're all going to take these reborn homeless charity cases of yours shopping tomorrow, after swinging by the vaults and getting everything they want from there."

James was impressed. "That's a hell of an all seeing eye you got there."

"It helps down at the track." Nicholas agreed. "Oh and that reminds me, Harry. You need to talk to your father and godfather about Tuesday. They'll both agree and you can let Crackhead know at Gringotts tomorrow."

Remus looked at Harry, disbelieving the specificity of Nicholas' so-called predictions. "Is he serious?"

Before Padfoot could say a word, Lily kicked him right in the back of the knee and he crumpled to the floor with a muffled yelp. When Remus turned and smiled at Sirius on the floor, Padfoot knew Moony had done that on purpose.

Harry grinned at the insulted look on his godfather's face. "I don't know Moony. Let's find out. Dad, Sirius? You guys play poker?"

"Course," Sirius said with a grin. "I made sure and teach Prongsy over here. We had many a game in the Tower at night."

"I still don't understand why it had to be strip poker when you were teaching me." James said with a shake of his head.

Harry ignored Sirius' snickering. "Either of you two allergic to goblins?"

James looked at Sirius oddly. "No?"

"Was Moony particularly horrible at poker?"

James and Sirius both laughed.

"I'm not that bad," Remus pouted.

James chuckled. "Moony, your ears wiggle every time you bluff, and if you hit a good hand, your eyes widen and then you cough to try to hide it."

"Every time," Sirius echoed. "It'd be cute, if it wasn't so depressing."

Moony huffed while Harry chuckled. "They'd tear you apart, and I don't want you to lose all your money."

Moony rolled his eyes, not really wanting to play poker anyway.

"Hey!" Lily yelled indignantly. "Why do you assume I'm not playing?"

"Sorry, Mum." Harry didn't really look it. "Goblins play it by war room rules: No wives, no kids."

"But you're my kid?" James half stated, half asked.

"No, I have a seat, and you are my guests." Harry clarfied.

"Wait," James asked. "You want us to play poker against the goblins?"

"Not all of them," Harry clarified. "It's just a regular game with most of the High Council."

"This is the High Council game?" Sirius' said reverently. "I heard the last wizards they let play were the Weasleys and that it's because of the game that they… well…"

"Really?" Harry asked. "I never knew that. So, you believe in Nicky's all seeing eye yet Moony?"

Nicholas interrupted. "My all seeing eye says you will still doubt me, Remus, but your more intelligent and better looking friends are true believers."

"He's right." Sirius said while James just nodded. Lily smiled and rubbed her chin. "It is uncanny."

"Har har har." Remus said blandly. "So just who does your all seeing eye think will be joining us tomorrow?"

Nicholas grinned. "I would imagine I could convince Miss Granger, Miss Weasley, and Miss Tonks to assist you. Miss Lovegood I have learned not to make predictions on, so she may or may not join you."

"Oh this sounds like fun," Remus grinned.

"Oh?" Lily asked. "Are some of them the girls my son is involved with?"

"All but one of them and even her I sometimes wonder about." Remus cheerfully pointed out while Harry groaned. "When prodded they get catty around each other. It is fun."

James and Sirius snickered at the glimmer of happiness on Remus' face. Lily giggled. "Oh Remus, we really do need to get you laid."

Remus was about to retort when he stopped at the wide grins on his three dead friends' face. He groaned and was silently cursing Harry.

"Careful what you say about his mother," Nicholas grinned. "She's right over there."

Remus quit his soft mumbling and damned fossils and their magical hearing aids. He saw Harry hold in a snort when he said it.

"Alright," Nicholas said and drew everyone's attention. "I'm going to track down our shopping assistants for tomorrow before Remus finishes calculating just how long it really has been. He'll get all depressed and then start giving us his bedroom eyes."

Remus frowned playfully at the old man's ribbing. "Why did I ever think you were a friend?"

"Uh oh," Nicholas warned. "It's started already. You guys enjoy your evening. Dobby's got your dinner, and yes, Bessie, there's plenty of lettuce. And I will make sure the girls are in the twins shop at ten A.M." Nicholas waggled his fingers goodbye. "Toodles." And with a pop, he disapparated from the apartment.

Remus shook his head. "That old man has spent too much time around you, Meg."

"He's kind of dishy," Lily said. "How old is he?"

Remus just snorted, while James blanched. "Molden oldies? Really, Lils?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm just curious. He seemed so much younger than he looked."

"He turned 676 a couple months ago." Harry said casually.

Lily seemed to all of a sudden remember who he was while James and Sirius just looked at each other with disbelief on their faces. Lily asked, "Wait, isn't he something like the most famous alchemist ever? What's he doing here?"

Harry shrugged. "He's kind of like my secretary."

Remus wondered how Nicholas would feel about Harry's description of him. "Nicholas and Harry have been conducting an ongoing investigation in the uses and capabilities of Dementor Blood for a couple years now. Sort of like the Headmaster did with Nicholas on Dragon's Blood."

"Ahhhh," Sirius said finally understanding. "I was wondering why I kept hearing about that stuff."

"Nicky taught DADA my sixth and seventh year, and he was a sort of mentor of mine for a while. Tutored me on a few things," Harry explained. "He's good to have around when I need to pin the blame on someone else. Even at his age, he still has a use every now and then."

Remus added, "And he's probably respected even more than Albus by just about everyone but the Cheek Master over here."

"Cheek Master?" Lily asked with a smile.

Remus chuckled. "I think it's a self-appointed title, but considering he's got an apprentice studying cheek, it is applicable."

"You've got an apprentice?" James asked. "Who?"

"Dobby." Harry grinned imagining the eccentric elf.

Dobby appeared with a pop, looked over at James, and slapped a hand over his mouth. "Sweet Salazar's ghost, it's James Potter!" With a quick wink towards his Master, Dobby disappeared with another pop.

"Salazar!" James looked over at his giggling wife and best friend. "Did that insolent elf really… just to piss me off…"

Harry's eyes twinkled. "He's a quick learner."

James finally shook his head. "Naw… house elves aren't that evil…"

Harry stuck his hand up in the air. Dobby reappeared with a pop high off the ground and high-fived Harry, disappearing with another pop, before gravity had pulled him all the way down.

Sirius, Remus, and Lily were all laughing at the shocked though slightly impressed look on James' face. He smiled and shook his head. "He is a cheeky bugger."

Harry smiled and shrugged. "Not even I know what's going to happen after he passes his mastery."

"Okay," Lily attracted everyone's attention. "Nicholas said, we're in for the night, and we're catching up more. And I have seen so many things that give me more questions than answers. I want to know more about you, Harry."

Harry settled himself into his chair. "Fire away. What do you want to know?"

Sirius jumped in. "Just what can you do? I mean how powerful are you really? I've been watching the magic you do, and it's scary how easy and controlled things are for you. Albus and that Nicholas fellow, at their age, practiced motions can look effortless. So far, everything you've done has looked that way."

Harry saw Remus was going to be no help, as he looked as curious as everyone else. "I can't be certain, or even be able to describe something like magical prowess, but I'm pretty sure I'm the most magically powerful person in the world. Things do take less effort and are easier for me. I was probably less powerful than Dumbledore at first, but the past few years have had a few unintentional and rather severe changes in my magical core. None of them detrimental."

Lily's eyebrows jumped. "Would you mind elaborating on that?"

"Some things I kind of need to keep to myself to protect the names of the innocent. And me." Harry carefully answered. "But, let's say I bond with an immensely powerful magical creature. Or I may have undergone a magical phenomenon in an accelerated environment thus increasing my body's response. Exponentially. Or even, that I knew there was this blob of magic that some crazed follower was going to try and reclaim in a nefarious way, and carry on his work, so I just saved everyone the trouble and took it for myself."

Harry raised a hand. "These are all purely hypothetical of course. But any one of them may have happened." Harry ended a little quieter. "Or all of them." He trailed off again. "Occasionally multiple times."

Sirius smiled mischievously. "Better you than me."

"That's great for you son, I'm proud of you son," Lily rhythmically stated. "I worry for you son. But I want to hear more about you you. Not super-wizard psycho hero you. What was your first impression of Hogwarts? What did the Sorting hat say? When did you learn magic was real? Ever do any good accidental magic? I want to hear the stories that make your life, and they're not necessarily discoveries or battles."

Harry looked at his Mum oddly. She was an interesting character. Certainly not Molly, but not bad. Just… different. Harry nodded and held out his right hand. It almost looked like a conjuration, but he was actually summoning the object from a portal linked subspace. He caught the pensieve in his hand. "Sounds good to me, but it might be more fun to visit a few of our better memories."

"Brilliant!" James cheered. "I wouldn't mind revisiting the day we accidentally on purpose messed up that invisibility potion so that it only affected females clothes."

"And the nice illusion on Snivelly's clothes," Sirius added with a shake of his finger to James.

James shrugged. "I don't know. For all we know, he really might have been a woman under those illusions."

"Oh bad," Lily said with a frown. "Don't put that visual in my head."

"I'll even start," Harry began. "I'll show you the birthday cake and surprise present I got for my eleventh birthday."

"They baked you a cake?" Sirius asked.

Harry shook his head. "Hagrid used green icing and later gave Dudley a pig's tail. And it's also when I learned I was a wizard and magic is real."

Lily ran forward and hugged her son. "Oh this sounds perfect, Harry."

When she pulled back, Harry was amused to note no signs of wistfulness or melancholy in his mother's expression. Just eager excitement and a bit of anxious impatience.

Harry placed the memory into the pensieve and the five Marauders all touched the surface and fell in.