Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER SIX

"Wow!" James said. "That was bloody exciting stuff. My heart is pounding."

Lily on the other hand looked a little less thrilled and was quietly observing her son.

"Good god, Meg," Remus said with a smile. "I'm not sure I would have taken the DADA job if I'd known you killed your first professor."

"I was eleven." Harry shrugged and continued in a completely serious tone, "These things happen."

Remus looked at Harry and wondered if he really believed that.

"Yeah," Sirius chuckled. "Perfectly commonplace for every Killing Curse survivor I've ever known."

Lily had been pretty quiet and winced. "I hope your second year wasn't as dangerous as that."

Harry shrugged. "I thought first year was pretty damn fun, but at least in second year, I didn't kill any professors." Harry paused and thought about it. "At least I don't think I did. Watched one Obliviate himself, and destroyed an evil possessed echo of a young Voldie and his giant killer basilisk."

"Whoa!" James cheered. "I want to see this."

Lily frowned and softly added, "I'm not sure I do."

Harry smiled warmly at his Mum. "Mum, trust me. I only show the fun ones and they all end up okay. Well, for me anyway. Not so hot for Voldie."

Lily seemed uncertain.

Harry smiled. "Besides, before it's my turn again, you guys have got to show me how you met, and some of your first year."

James nodded. "Our first year wasn't quite as exciting as yours. No daring adventures or battles to the death. But yeah, let me show you my first impressions of these louts."

James put a memory into the pensieve and they all dived in.

An eleven year old boy, who looked awfully familiar, hugged his Mum and Dad goodbye on the platform at King's Cross.

"Now you be good, James," his mother chided as she cleaned his cheek. "I don't want to hear about you getting into any mischief."

James looked horrified. "I would never!"

His mother just snorted while Dad leaned down and whispered in James' ear. "Son, you be careful. If your mother finds out I gave you that cloak, we're both going to be grounded all Christmas break."

James smiled widely. "I'll be good. I'll even swear on my mother's grave."

"James!" his mother scolded.

"Bye Mum! Dad!" he cheerfully yelled as he hefted his trunk onto the Hogwarts Express.

James was dragging it down the train looking for an empty compartment. Finally he spotted a friend sitting with only one other small boy. "Frank! Room in this compartment for me?"

"Heya James!" said a boy who could only be Frank Longbottom. "Sure, plenty of room. You excited for your first year?"

"Away from my parents? You bet!" James said as he stowed his trunk away.

Frank saw the shy boy with him wasn't speaking up. "Allow me to make the introduction, James Potter, incoming first year, I would like you to meet another incoming first year. This is Remus Lupin."

James spit in his hand and stuck it out. "Pleased to meet you, Remus. I'm James."

Remus warily looked at the spit on James' hand. Finally he spit on his own hand and shook James'. Frank laughed at the frightened but determined look on Remus' face. Remus said, "Nice to meet you, James."

James was shocked and impressed. Both he and Remus were wiping their hands on their shirts. James explained, "I've never had anyone actually touch my hand after I spit on it. I think I'm going to like you, Remus."

Remus smiled.

"Although," James paused and looked at his hand. "Do you have hairy palms?"

Frank snickered, while Remus paled dramatically.

"My mother was warning me about something to do with hairy palms," James said as he was thinking deeply, completely oblivious to Remus' discomfort and Frank's amusement. "You're not blind by chance? Because I think blindness came after hairy palms…"

Remus shook his head vigorously. "Nope."

Frank was just about to burst out laughing when two other boys ran into the compartment and slammed door shut behind him and leaned against the door to keep it from opening again.

They both looked like first years, one of them was extremely nervous and the other had a wide smile on his face. The grinning one looked at all the people in this compartment, and said, "Jolly good weather we're having, don't you think?"

Vicious pounding on the door was the next response. "Sirius, open this door so I can kill you!"

The grinning young Sirius Black turned to the oldest looking boy in the room and asked innocently, "You wouldn't by chance know any good locking charms, would you?"

Frank giggled a bit and cast a spell that seemed to melt the door frame away.

"Excellent," Sirius exclaimed. He continued in an especially loud voice for the benefit of the people on the other side of the locked door. "Because my cousin Trixie just got her first training bra!" He was yelling just in case the conductor up front couldn't hear. "And it gives you a galleon every time you snap it!"

A shriek and minor stampede was heard on the other side, and the knocking and banging seemed to stop.

"So sorry about that," Sirius said in a more normal voice. "I'm afraid the cootie index today is very high, and my cousin seems highly irritable. She was picking on this fine young chap and I felt I had to intervene."

"Th-thanks," the nervous young man said. "She's pretty scary."

"She's pretty?" Sirius exclaimed disgusted. "I think you need glasses, my good man. Oh by the way, Sirius Black's the name. And you are?"

"Peter Pettigrew," the other young man said.

"I'm James Potter," James introduced. "And this is one of my neighbors, Frank Longbottom, and this hairy palmed first year is Remus Lupin."

"Hairy palms?" Sirius asked with a mischievous grin on his eleven year old face. "I might be able to make you an ointment for that."

Remus shook his head. "I think I'll be okay, but thank you."

"So Frank," Sirius began. "That was a right spiffy charm you did. What year are you?"

"I'm a third year," Frank stated. "Gryffindor house. And would I be correct in guessing you two are first years, like James and Remus here?"

Peter nodded, while Sirius assured, "Excellent guess as you would most definitely be correct. And I would love to join you in Gryffindor, but most of the members of my illustrious family are all Slytherins. And gits."

James laughed. "My parents were in Gryffindor, so I'm guessing that's where I'm headed."

Frank rolled his eyes. "Trust me. You are."

"What about you, Remus? Peter?" James asked.

Remus shrugged. "Don't know. I didn't think I'd even be going to Hogwarts until a couple months ago."

Peter shrugged. "Gryffindor would be nice. I just hope my sorting doesn't take too long. I don't like the look of my own blood."

"Your blood?" Sirius asked perplexed. "What do you mean?"

"I heard that's how we're sorted?" Peter asked. "We have to cut ourselves on the jagged rocks of Hogwarts until our blood spells out a limerick that we must then decipher?"

"Who told you that?" James asked with a furrowed brow.

"Err… that would be Trixie," Peter said.

"Oh," Sirius waved him off. "She's just trying to scare you. All you really have to do is jump off the tallest tower. The number of times you bounce determines your house. If you don't bounce," Sirius shrugged. "Then not having a house is the least of your worries." Sirius grinned sheepishly, "I've been practicing all summer."

James looked at Sirius oddly. "I'm not sure that's quite accurate either, Sirius."

"Why do you say that?" Sirius asked curiously.

James pointed with his thumb. "Because Frank looks like he's about to laugh in your face."

And that was when Frank couldn't contain his giggles anymore. "Bouncing sounds like a pretty good way to sort if you ask me."

James shrugged. "My parents wouldn't tell me how we're sorted only that no one's died as far as they know. But I know it's not magical underwear or a vision exam. So come on, Frank, tell us."

Frank shrugged. "It's different every year. My year, they just started breaking fingers until we cried out in pain. If you can hold in your screams for at least five, you're a Gryffindor."

It appeared all four eleven year old boys were pretty gullible, given the panic on their faces. A knock on the door echoed in the compartment. Sirius carefully asked in a high-pitched voice, "Who is it?"

"Any sweets from the trolley?"

"Yeah!" James cheered, just as the other boys echoed various affirmations. Frank dispelled his charm and the door opened. All five of them bought some treats and were sharing them around and trading their chocolate frog cards, when another person stuck their head into the compartment. "Anyone got some change for muggle money?"

"You!" James yelled immediately recognizing the redheaded girl.

"You!" the girl yelled just as vehemently at James.

"Oh my," Sirius grinned. "Do you two need some alone time?"

"Eww! No!" the girl spat out. "I was just looking for change."

"James?" Frank asked. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

James stared at the girl. "I don't even know her name. But you remember that time I asked you to hose me down because I had a highly virulent strain of muggle cooties all over my body?"

Sirius nodded to Remus and Peter. "This sounds good."

"She's the one who licked you?" Frank asked looking over the girl.

"Told you." Sirius said with another nod towards Remus and Peter.

"No it was her dog that licked me," James explained frustrated.

"And it was me who kicked your butt," the girl insisted.

"Beaten up by a girl!" Sirius exclaimed and shook his head. "How can you even show your face, James?"

"She didn't beat me up," James corrected with a frown.

"Really?" the girl asked. "Because I seem to remember seeing you running away screaming."

"You got your girl sweat all over me!"

"You kicked my dog!"

"It was an accident! He was about to pee on me!"

"You were wearing a red dress. He thought you were a fire hydrant."

James scowled. "Those were robes! And you've probably never even seen a Hydra before."

And for the first time, the girl was shocked into silence.

Sirius jumped in finally, now that the two had stopped screaming. "I'm dying to know the name of the girl who beat up this young gentleman."

She turned to the grinning young boy. "Lily Evans. And you are?" She asked in an especially snooty manner.

Her haughtiness struck a chord with Sirius and he smiled at her and explained, "Me? I'm Delirious. Delirious Black. And this fellow you beat up is James Poofter. Over there is Remus Poopin, Penis Penisgrew, and Frank err… Longbottom."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You're weird." She turned to walk away, giving up hope on finding change.

"Go on," James urged. "Get out of here. And never come back!"

Lily whipped her head around. "You're not the boss of me. I'll stay here if I want to."

James was confused. "Do you want to?"

"No!" Lily yelled, turned, and left the compartment.

"Merlin, I hate that girl." James grumbled. "Why couldn't she just stay a muggle?"

Sirius grinned. "I'm starting to like her. She's got spunk… you know, for a girl."

"Careful you who hate," Peter said. "Because my grandma said 'hate' is just a nice way of describing repressed sexual tension."

Frank and Sirius started giggling, while James and Remus just looked at Peter oddly.

"Sexual." Sirius chuckled.

"What about that Dark Lord fellow, Voldemort?" James asked. "He's got a lot of hate I'd bet."

"You said his name!" Sirius gasped. "My family says you're not supposed to say his name."

"Why not?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged. Peter spoke up, "I heard if you say his name three times in front of mirror, he appears behind you."

Remus considered it. "That'd be a right useful way to catch him."

Sirius asked, "What kind of name is Voldemort anyway?"

James leaned forward conspiratorially, "I heard it's American for love me more."

Remus looked at James oddly.

Sirius looked like he was trying to remember something and asked, "Do you speak American?"

James shook his head. "Nope. But it sounds like old Love-Me-More has an awful lot of repressed sexual tension."

"Hang on," Remus said as he lifted a finger to his mouth. Everyone quieted and listened.

"I don't hear anything," James finally said after a few seconds of silence.

"I think someone in the compartment behind us is crying." Remus said.

Sirius shrugged. "I'll check it out," he said and got up before anyone could stop him.

The four boys all sat quietly, looking at each other trying to listen.

As it turned out, they didn't need to strain their ears at all. An unknown voice screamed, "I miss my mommy, okay! Now leave me alone!"

Sirius hurried back into their compartment and shut the door behind him. He let out an exasperated breath. "What a sniveling sniveler."

"He missed his mommy?" Harry asked incredulously. "And Penis Penisgrew?"

"And it never did." Remus finished conclusively.

"I don't want to know how you know that Remus," Lily said with a pained face. "And whatever happened to Peter anyway?"

"Yeah," Sirius asked. "Moony said you caught him, proved my innocence and then he managed to escape from you."

Harry nodded but wouldn't meet their eyes.

James stood firm. "He also said there's not exactly much of a manhunt these days looking for him."

"Yeah, you know Ministry resources don't need to be stretched too thin." Harry explained weakly.

"And why the hell am I not more pissed?" Remus suddenly realized.

"Crap." Harry said. "Sorry Moony, but it wasn't worth worrying over."

Remus growled. "He owes me an awful lot."

"Us too," Lily added with a feral look.

Remus stopped. "That's right. You three he owes more. I keep forgetting you're not dead and take precedence on the righteous vengeance scale."

"There's a scale?" James asked. "Actually, nevermind. Considering Harry's lack of eye contact, I have a feeling he knows exactly what happened, and it couldn't be anything less than Peter's loss of life, magic, or some incredibly cruel and unusual punishment on a similar level, right?"

Harry looked up and nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus asked.

"Actually, that was your idea," Harry defended. "The three of us voted, and you and Amos asked to be obliviated but left with the knowledge that Pettigrew wasn't going to be a problem ever again."

Remus began knocking on his head, apparently seeing if the muggle method of breaking memory charms might work. "I did?"

Harry nodded. "Yup. Me and Amos overruled you. We just wanted him dead."

"I voted to save him?" Remus asked aghast. "Why would I do that?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "No Moony, you wouldn't settle for less than six months of torture. You agreed with the end result but didn't want him to get it so easily."

"Oh…" Remus said quietly. "Kind of surprised you talked me down to six months."

"Yes well, it was two to one against you, so you had your closure, and I invoked a little Marauder justice."

"What did you do?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"This was when I was still in school, so I couldn't do everything I was wanting to." Harry explained looking at his parents cautiously. "I'm hoping you won't think too much less of me." Harry took a deep breath and let it out. He began, "For the sake of Sirius' pardon I had to let him get away. For about all of ten seconds. Then I caught him again. Locked him into his animagus form and whipped up a potion. Didn't really want to hear any pleadings so I wasn't even letting him transform back." Harry took a deep breath. "I placed two dishes in front of him. I told him he didn't deserve it, but I was giving him a choice. I said in the left was rat poison, and in the right was a Draught of the Living Death. And I was calling in my life debt. Gave him the choice which one he drank, but he had to drink one. He sniffed them both and drank the one on the right."

"The Draught of the Living Death?" Remus exclaimed standing up quickly. "So he's alive?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Trust me Moony. He's dead. They wouldn't know it but a third year class of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws even witnessed it."

"Really?" Remus said, back to being highly interested in this tale.

Harry grinned his evil dark magic grin. "I never mentioned it was a lesser known variation on the Draught of Living Death that actually leaves you conscious and trapped inside your own body. When the rat stopped moving and seemed dead, I told him, he could have done the honorable thing and died peacefully. And then I dropped an unmoving rat, which certainly passed for dead and didn't breathe into the blood filled feed bucket behind Hagrid's hut."

The vicious grins on everyone's faces told Harry they thought no less of him.

"And yes, I located a tiny silver rat's paw in some hippogriff diarrhea a few days later." Harry explained. "Needed it for a thing with Voldie, and I knew the potion wouldn't sit well in a hippogriff."

Remus was struggling not to smile. "I still say he should have been tortured."

James shrugged. "He was once a friend. Just never could get over his own fears. And I'd think maintaining consciousness while being digested by a hippogriff would be a bit torturous."

"I guess," Remus relented. "Why aren't you angrier though? You especially, Sirius. You had a dozen years in prison to hate him."

"Being dead sort of rearranges the things that matter to you." Sirius shrugged. "Good times are better than justice for bad times. I'd pretty much written Wormy off like Voldemort. He's beyond salvation, he's just a rabid beast that needs to be put down. I know the Peter Pettigrew we went to school with would feel the same way."

"Excellent point, Mr. Padfoot," Harry cheerfully added. "Good times are much better, so let's stick to those if we can. But I think I'm ready for some dinner now." Harry's belly let out a loud gurgling sigh. "See?"

Remus shook his head. "I still want to know how you do that."

"You can make your stomach growl on command?" James asked intrigued.

Harry nodded. "It's easy. You just have to ask the alien living inside your belly to speak up."

James looked down at his belly and his jaw dropped when his belly started gurgling too. "Oh my Godric!"

"How the hell did you do that!" Remus asked, before noticing Harry's snickering. Remus snapped his head back at Harry. "That was you, wasn't it?"

Harry shook his head. "It would make you so much happier if it was, wouldn't it Moony?"

Moony was frowning at him but he was interrupted by James stomach letting out a particularly loud growl.

James was rubbing his belly. "Oh… good girl." James looked up with a smile just realizing, "It's a girl!"

Lily shook her head and walked off towards the kitchen. "This is going to be hard having two of them around."

Two gurgling in sync stomachs responded happily.

The next morning at breakfast Sirius was doing his best to convince Lily that you couldn't make an omelet without cow eggs. Sirius was unsuccessful at fooling the newest Marauder, but still he managed to antagonize her to the point of cursing, as a vicious pinching hex drew blood on Sirius' sensitive bottom.

Which naturally led into a conversation on acceptable places to urinate in public. As per usual, the argument turned into a duel between James and Sirius, and they were breaking out several of the old Marauder custom made prank spells. When the dust settled and both combatants regained all the right limbs, proper voices, and were aged correctly the discussion drifted off into the custom made spells, as apparently Moony was unable to divulge company secrets on any of his recent developments.

"Fine Mr. Stuck Up Corporate Stiff," James sniffed. "How 'bout you, Meg? You ever made any prank spells of your own?"

Harry got a wicked smile and snapped his wand to his right without even looking. "Venerio!"

"Ahhh!" Sirius screamed but was unable to dodge the sizzling pink beam. "What the hell was that?"

Remus, apparently, was quite familiar with this homemade curse and laughed out loud.

James and Lily were intrigued. "What the heck is Venerio?"

"What does it sound like?" Harry asked with a wicked grin.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "It sounds like a classification of diseases I've no doubt Sirius is intimately familiar with."

Sirius eye's widened in recognition, and he quickly checked under his robes. "Wah! It's gone!"

Remus was nodding happily.

"Harry!" Sirius acted appalled. "I don't care what nefarious plans you have for that, but I am definitely going to need it back."

Harry smiled. "That's the spell. You have to earn it back."

Sirius looked at Harry worriedly.

"Not that way!" Harry insisted. "Let's just say, to a homosexual male, the spell would be considered cruel."

"Ohhhh," Sirius relaxed significantly. "That's all? That I can handle."

"I should hope so," Harry nodded. "But until then, you're peeing sitting down."

Sirius faced fell into small shocked look. "Oh."

"That's my boy!" Lily yelled proudly as she ran up to and hugged her son. She whispered into his ear. "You will teach me that spell."

Harry rolled his eyes and nodded. He whispered back, "Later."

Before Sirius could renew the public urination argument with some fresh addendums to the theorized rules, Harry announced loudly, "Alright. It's time to head downstairs and do some shopping. And please, let's try not to attract much attention."

Harry spotted the four girls standing around in the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes private back room, as the group came down the Fidelius hidden stairwell. Before he could even greet them, Ginny yelled, "Harry!"

Tonks jumped up. "What the heck is going on?"

"Potter!" Hermione snarled. "You better explain this."

Following behind Harry so far was only his mother, and the girls all immediately took predatory stances at seeing an attractive redhead joining them.

Luna's eyes widened more than usual. "Wow!"

Harry grinned cheekily at the three girls' territorial, and Luna's dumbfounded, expression. "Yes, yes, yes. I admit, I made a little booboo, and will have three unexpected visitors for an indeterminate period of time."

Hermione looked at Harry, completely confused.

"Hermione, Ginny, Tonks, Luna, I would like you all to meet Bessie."

"Err hello," Tonks greeted uncertainly.

The three other men seemed to appear out of thin air for those unaware of the Fidelius secret.

Harry added with a lecherous grin. "And you all know Moony, and should recognize Prongs and Padfoot." Harry winked and shrugged. "My new roommates."

Hermione and Ginny just stood there in complete silence and shock. Luna seemed incredibly turned on. Tonks' eyes began to water. "Si- Sirius?"

Sirius grinned brightly. "Heya cuz. Long time no see, eh?"

Tonks responded with something between a snort, a whimper, and a cry of fear. It came out "Bloody frickin' hell." She embraced her favorite first cousin, once removed.

Hermione just looked down and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh Harry. Please tell me you're not still on about that application for godhood thing."

Harry sighed. "That was a joke, Hermy."

"Accidental or not," James smiled cheekily. "You should still list this under Extracurricular Activities."

"Oh Merlin," Ginny said as she took a step back. "There's two of them."

"I know!" James agreed whole-heartedly. "My very own evil twin!"

"Why am I always the evil one?" Harry pouted. He looked at all the disbelieving faces. Harry reluctantly nodded. "Fine. Stupid question." Harry grumbled quieter. "Stupid people."

The four girls and five Marauders lapsed into silence for a second. Luna began happily, "So, Harry? What have you been doing lately?"

Harry smiled thankful he could always count on Luna's straightforwardness.

"And who?" Lily calmly asked. She was rewarded by seeing all four girls blush.

Ginny smacked Hermione on the shoulder. "Hey!"

Hermione closed her eyes. "It's for you! I'm embarrassed for you. And now it's hard not to picture Harry…" Hermione gulped and stopped herself from saying anything more.

Sirius sidled up next to Remus. "I take it Hermione's the one you're not sure on?"

Remus nodded. "She's been dating Nicholas for a little while now, but sometimes around Harry it's just…"

"Like all the alarms are going off," Sirius explained. "But the tests all come back negative."

Remus agreed. "And you can only treat the disease, not the symptoms."

"You know I am standing right here?" An appalled Hermione yelled out.

"Hiya Hermione," Remus greeted.

Sirius looked around the room. He smiled disarmingly at Hermione. "Would you like me to get you a chair?"

"What!" Hermione answered.

"So you're not just standing right here." Sirius impudently explained.

Hermione turned to Harry. "Did you make them dumber, Harry?"

Harry covered his mouth and held back his snort.

"Oi!" Sirius yelled before quieting. "I'm sorry! I'm… sorry. It feels like it was just the other day that I was laying my life on the line to save my Godson," Sirius was sniffling and holding back tears. "And then… and then I'm dead. And that's it. My life is over. I'm done." Sirius stared off into space, well aware Harry was rubbing circles into his back to try and calm him down. "And I know I am not exactly emotionally balanced right now."

James didn't seem to visibly move, but there sounded like a muffled guffaw.

"But, really, that's no reason to be rude and just try to… try to hurt my feelings." Sirius was truly crying now, and Harry lent him his shoulder. Harry was patting Sirius on the back and whispering soothing words to him, the whole while just staring disappointedly into Hermione's eyes.

"I tried to be a good person." Sirius wailed. "I tried to do my best, but some people…"

Hermione felt horrible. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing could ever come out. She was furiously wiping the tears from her eyes and completely unable to say anything or move.

Tonks narrowed her eyes at her first cousin, once removed. "Hey! Wait a minute…you're doing that thing…"

Sirius whipped his head around with an astonished look of delight on his face. "Oh man, that was awesome!" Sirius demanded a high-five from Harry as he whooped in joy. "Did you see her face?" Sirius pointed to the confused and crushed looks Hermione was alternating between. "That was priceless!"

Harry saw the dangerous look on Hermione's face but couldn't fight it. He collapsed into laughter at his godfather.

Hermione on the other hand was not pleased by this in the slightest. "Harry James Potter! I know you're not laughing at me."

Harry tried to hold in his laughing and looked to Sirius for help.

Sirius was still grinning and snickering. "Ruh roh. She used the full name. You're in for it now."

This didn't help Harry's situation any, but it did have the added effect of making everyone else laugh a bit too. Well, besides Hermione, that is. She still failed to see any amusement in the situation. Naturally this compounded it for everyone else.

Sirius seeing the angry look on Hermione's face took action. He popped into his animagus form and meekly walked up to Hermione. He bowed his head in obedience and whined pathetically. He was giving her his best sad puppy dog eyes.

Hermione's face betrayed no expression. She remained still as Sirius approached. As soon as the large black dog Padfoot was close enough, Hermione let fly a mighty kick to the dog's ribs.

And once again, before everyone's current bout of laughter had even subsided they started a new bout.

Sirius popped back into his human form. "Ohh, damn bitch," Sirius said as he laughed to hide his pain and rubbed his ribs. "That bloody hurt."

Hermione smiled victoriously. "Good."

"There it is again, Moony. The alarms are blaring," Sirius happily pointed out.

"And the tests are still negative," Remus nodded. "I know."

Hermione gave both older Marauders a dirty look and turned back to Harry. "Err, Harry? Did you perchance read the Daily Prophet this morning?"

Harry shook his head. "I've not seen a paper in over a week. Why, what's up?"

Hermione shook her head. "Well yesterday's was full of conspiracy theories about the apparent creation of a magical black hole on Privet Drive. And pleas for information from anyone who knows anything about what happened or is happening. And today's article shed a little light on the situation, though it raised some pretty compelling questions."

"What's a magical black hole?" Sirius asked. "I wouldn't think a hole could really be magic. I mean it's not really even a thing is it?"

"It's not even close to what you're thinking of," Remus explained to Sirius.

Harry's curiosity was definitely piqued now. "Can I just see the paper?"

Hermione smirked and handed Harry a copy.

Harry looked at the picture and immediately recognized the scene. He feared someone eavesdropping on that conversation.

Privet Drive Magical Phehomenon: Harry Potter has the answers?
Startling evidence that may be perhaps linked to the massive magical phenomenon, has come to light through an anonymous informant. The rumors reporting Harry Potter's involvement seem to be true. According to sources there was an experiment involving Dementor Blood that caused a massive explosion. There were no casualties from the explosion, nor was it an attack, but either an accident or miscalculation. If it is as many suspect, related to Dementor Blood, then more than likely the results' findings or chain of events that led up to this point will be kept secret until the research project team feels it can safely reveal what transpired two days ago. Already, the wizarding world has seen just how powerful Dementor Blood's effects can be. And it may be a long time before we even find out conclusively what really did happen on Privet Drive. Rather than theorize or incorrectly assume anything about Mr. Potter, we have included the brief piece of conversation with the picture you see. As with all our special audio editions of the Daily Prophet, you need only press your thumb on the corner of the picture to hear what is being said. We ask that you all draw your own conclusions.

Harry sighed fearing just how much was overheard. He really, really didn't want the public to know very much on this. At least not yet. He took a deep breath, and put his thumb on the corner of the picture. He watched himself in the photograph clear his throat. He heard him say, "Okay, without going into too much unnecessary detail-"

Harry saw Albus slink down into his seat and say, "Oh dear."

Harry feared what was coming next and hoped it didn't carry on too far. He watched the picture of him, readjust himself uncomfortably and explain, "I basically was doing Dudley-" And then the picture stopped and started itself back up from the beginning. "Okay, without going into too much..." Harry removed his thumb relieved that this secret hadn't spread. They may be up a certain creek, but they at least still had a paddle. Harry's mind then replayed the conversation in the picture.

"Aww bugger."