Chapter Twenty

The door opens and I can once again see Michael Vaughn in front of me. This moment makes everything that has happened in the past two and a half days become real. They hadn't hit me until that second. Once I see him, I break down, into full-out sobs. I collapse forward into his arms and just cry. He holds me, surprised that I'm there, but doesn't ask questions. I think he's too shocked to say anything.

After an hour of relentless sobbing, he finally gets up and gets a glass of water for me. I know that he has done something else in that time, because once he gets back in the room, he looks at me differently. I don't know what is going on.

"Sydney…" he says, disbelieving, "what are you doing here?"

"Everything's changed" I say cryptically.

"Syd, I don't understand. What's changed? Why are you here? Because the last time I saw you, you made it pretty clear that you didn't want to see me again…"

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

"What's going on Syd? Please tell me. I know something's wrong."

I've finally gotten my emotions under control. I know it's time. It is time that I tell him what's wrong. "I'll start by telling you this; I've left Julian" he looks at her with wide eyes, "but, not for the reason you probably think… or hope."

"Why, Syd?"

"I'm going to tell you everything, but you can't interrupt me, alright?"

"Sure. Alright."

I start the story, the story that tears me apart. "For the last couple of weeks, I have been feeling weak, I've been sleeping a lot, and at least three times a week, I've thrown up in the mornings." My story is interrupted by a knock at the door. My head whips around towards the sound.

"It's Eric." Vaughn says. "I called him when you showed up. He's been wanting to see you. He's been as worried about you as I have."

I smile at him, "that saves me from telling the story one more time" I say.

Vaughn gets up and gets the door, Weiss then rushes into the room, crushing me to his chest. I didn't know how much I had missed him until now.

After a few minutes of explanations, about my disappearance, I tell him what I had just told Michael, and then continue my story.

"Julian would try to confront me about what was going on with me, but I didn't want to talk about it. One morning, we figured out that I might be pregnant. He was so happy," I remember, smiling, "we went to the doctor that morning, to see if that's what it was" I look to the ground, frowning now. "The doctor took a blood sample and analyzed it while we waited. Julian was with me for that, but the doctor came back and wanted to talk to me alone. That made me a little worried at that point. If I had been pregnant, Julian could have stayed in the room, heard the happy news together."

"Syd," Weiss interrupted.

"No, Weiss please, I can't tell you this if you interrupt me."

"Sorry" he said.

"My thoughts were confirmed. I wasn't pregnant…" my eyes filled with tears "they found cancer cells in my bloodstream. I'm dying."

Vaughn and Weiss both look at me with tears in their eyes. One solitary tear flows down Vaughn's cheek and it breaks me. "Vaughn, that's not even why I'm here," I explain between sobs, "Julian told me that he loves me. That he loves me more than anything in his life." Both men in front of me take my hands and hold them tightly, knowing that what I have just said isn't the worst thing to come. "I know I'm dying, and because of this, I've realized that I love him too. But I can't tell him. I couldn't. I left him, and lied to him about why. I told him that nothing was wrong. That I could never love him. That I care about him enough to let him move on, and find someone who can love him."

"Sydney" Vaughn whispers. I know he's not trying to interrupt me, he's just saying it to try and calm me down.

"I can't let him watch me die. I love him too much. I want him to remember me as the person I was, as the person that he knew. I can't let him see me sick and helpless like I'm soon going to be."

Weiss sits up and pulls me to his chest once again. Vaughn is now sitting on the sofa opposite me, his face contorted in a look of shock and confusion. "I'm so sorry Syd." He repeats over and over again.

"I need to ask you a favour" I ask after a few minutes of silence.

"Anything" they both answer at the same time.

"Well, there are two things actually. First thing, I need a place to stay temporarily. And second, which is going to be the hardest thing for you to do. I'm going to give you this phone number. Before you ask, it's his. I want you to call him when this is all over. I want him to be there, when I… after I'm gone. I want him to know what happened to me. And, could you also give him this letter when I'm gone? I wouldn't trust anyone else with this."

"Of course Syd" answers Weiss.

"You can stay in my spare bedroom for as long as you'd like Sydney" Vaughn adds.

Sydney hands Weiss the letter for Sark, and both of them a copy of the phone number to contact Sark.

"I can't thank you two enough for what you're doing for me."

"Syd, the cancer… is… is it curable?"

"No. It's too advanced. They said that they can try some things, but so far, no one's survived it being this bad for more than a few months."

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Two hours later, Weiss headed home, and Sydney and Vaughn headed to their separate rooms. Once Weiss got to his place, he beat himself up over the decision that he was about to make, but he knew it had to be done.

He picked up the phone and dialed the number written on the small piece of paper. He had thought about it, and found that he could take it if Sydney was angry with him for a while, but if Sark really loved her, he should know why she really left. Even if he is a terrorist or was a terrorist, he deserved to know the truth. Plus, he has resources. Maybe, there could be a cure out there that they haven't found yet. Sark could do that. Maybe he could save Sydney.

The line rings, Weiss waits for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" he hears over the other end.

"Sark? It's Eric Weiss. I'm a friend of Sydney's."

"Sydney? Where is she? Is she alright?" he says quickly.

"Look, I can't really talk about it over the phone. I just want you to know that I feel you should know the truth. About why she left. She lied to you, Sark."

"I know. I know she lied to me. She found something out from the doctor, it must have been bad, but I don't know what it was."

"Can you make it to L.A. soon? I can't tell you over the phone. It needs to be in person."

"Weiss, I need to know… is she alright?"

"Just come as soon as you can. Do you know where to find me?"

"Yes, I do."

"I'll be seeing you then."

When the phone is down, Weiss takes a deep breath and heads to his bedroom for a sleepless night.

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Twelve hours later

Weiss is in his apartment, on his computer, researching as much as he can about cancer, when he hears a knock at the door. He gets up and answers the door.

In front of him stand a broken man. Sark is standing in the doorway. It takes a moment for Weiss to take everything in. His suit is wrinkled, his hair is a mess, he has bags under his eyes and the worried look on his face just cuts him to the bone.

"Weiss? Where is she?" he whispers.

"She's staying with Vaughn."

Sark looks at him, burning anger in his eyes. "So she's gone back to him has she?" Sark yelled. He started pacing the room, then stopped when he realized that he had truly lost her. He sat down on the couch silently and put his face in his hands. "I've lost her. I've lost the only person I've ever truly loved."

Weiss took this moment to speak up. "Sark, she hasn't gone back to him really. She's staying in his guest room. They're not getting back together."

"Really?"

"Yes"

Sark sighed. "So Mr Weiss, what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"You were right. Sydney did find something out from that doctor. Sark, Sydney found out that she has cancer. She has cancer."

"What? How is that possible? It's curable right? It has to be! She's not going to die!"

"Sark, the cancer is too advanced. I'm sorry Sark."

"I have to see her. I have to be with her. She's going to make it through this, she's strong!"

"Look! You have to listen to me. She needs your help. I know that we can save her. But you need to help me. You have the resources, you can find someone who can help her!"

"You think I can help her? I don't have the resources anymore! I've left the business, I've left everything. I can't do it! If I go back, I can't leave! I promised her I wouldn't go back!"

"Sark, if you want Sydney to live, you have to do this."

They sat in silence for a while and thought of their options. Sark knew he had to go back. He loved Sydney. He couldn't let her die.

"Sark, I don't know how I can convince you to do this for her, but you need to know something else. I can't take you to see her yet. She only gave me your phone number so we could call you when she was gone. She wanted you to go to her funeral. I'm not ready to just let her die though, none of us are."

"Why! Why can't I see her! She needs me, I need to see her!" he began pacing again.

"Sark, she doesn't want you to see her like this!" Weiss screamed. "She wants you to remember her like she was. When she was strong and beautiful, not weak, fragile and helpless. Sark, she's doing this because…"

"Why, why is she doing this?"

"She lied to you. She lied when she left. When she said that she didn't love you. That she couldn't love you. She's doing this because she loves you."

"She loves me?" he whispered.

"She loves you."

"She actually told you? She told you that she loves me?"

"Yes, she did. She told us last night. So why would she get back together with Vaughn after telling him that she loves another man?"

"No reason" Sark whispers, "what do you need me to do?"

"The cancer is very advanced. The normal treatments are not going to help. She needs you to find someone who has been doing research or someone who has developed a treatment that isn't known to the normal medical field. Sark, Sydney would kill me for doing this. She told me not to go to you until she was gone. But, I can't let her do this to herself. I can tell that she's miserable. She is killing herself for leaving you, for hurting you."

"I would do anything for her. Even if that means that I cannot see her until I find a treatment for her."

"Sark, it will have to be quick. She doesn't have much time."

"It will be quick. I need her to be alright."

"So where do we go from here?"

"I'll contact you… soon. Weiss, can you do me one small favor?"

"Yeah, sure."

"If Sydney ever gets down, can you please, just… remind her that… I love her."

"Of course, but you don't think that will sound weird? I mean 'Syd, it's ok, just remember that the man that you love but left still loves you.' But really? How would I know that?"

"I don't know. Just please, tell her."

"I will."

Sark then leaves the apartment, leaving Weiss to think about the past few days.

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