Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Harry saw the smug grin plastered on Sirius' face and smacked him in the head for good measure. He turned to the squatting, unhappy looking bird.

"So Fawkes…" Harry forced an innocent smile. "Still a phoenix, eh?"

With a vicious war cry she launched herself through the air straight at the young Defense Professor. She spread her wings wide and was leading with her claws right towards Harry's face. Before Harry even had a chance to react, the solid ground he was standing on sucked him in, up to his bellybutton, as the angry firebird flew inches over his head.

"Fawkes!" Harry begged. "Please! I'm sorry!"

She just turned right back around and launched herself at him again.

Harry hurriedly called a magical ring into Fawkes' path hoping to temporarily divert her, only to see her fire flash from just in front of the ring to just beyond it. Harry blinked. "Crap."

The moment she arrived and swung her claw to scratch him, the stone floor rippled again. Harry, still immobile and up to his waist in solid rock, was yanked sideways barely out of the path of her attack. Fawkes began angrily trilling loudly.

Sirius was hiding back against the wall, happily snickering at the whole episode.

Fawkes continued yammering on with her snappish warbled song.

Harry had his hands up to defend himself. "You know I don't speak-"

A strange ethereal trill began echoing through the hallway that had Harry whipping his head back and forth trying to identify the source of the second phoenix song. Fawkes trilled a response and seemed to be calming ever so slightly. The haunting sounding trill replied back while the ground gently pushed Harry back up until he was standing with his own two feet on solid ground.

"Hogwarts?" Harry inquired. "Is that you?"

A brief chirp of a trill replied, and Harry could tell it was an affirmative. "You speak Phoenixia?" Harry stupidly pointed out. He whined, "That's so unfair."

Apparently Fawkes didn't agree and puffed herself back up angrily eyeing Harry. She launched herself headfirst with her mouth open and tongue lolling out the side as she flew towards Harry. This time a solid chunk of rock shot out from the wall protecting Harry.

Fawkes merely fire flashed to the other end of the hall. She let out possibly her most irritated trill of the night and lunged back towards Harry, who closed his eyes and concentrated. His attempt unsuccessful, Harry moaned to the castle, "You're not even letting me pop away? Do you want me to become Fawkes' barbecue?"

Just as Fawkes was nearing, this time a massive portrait slid out from the solid stone wall separating Fawkes from Harry.

"I'll save you, fair maiden!" an obnoxious voice echoed. "Halt you filthy scoundrel!"

"I'm not a maiden!" Harry insisted, before directing his attention towards the castle. "And Sir Cadogan? That's who's going to protect me?"

A silent conversation between Harry and the castle followed, ignoring Sir Cadogan's calls of "Don't make me slay you, oh feathered dragon!"

There was a high-pitched scream and vicious tear from top to bottom through the entire canvas. With a clear path, the angry phoenix went flying at Harry. Fawkes spread her wings and was again soaring belly-up with her legs spread.

Naturally the last thing Harry expected was bound to happen. Harry barely saw Fawkes' legs expand and contract before a phoenix egg was shot out from her at a speed Harry was entirely unprepared for. It smashed into him bruising his nose and spilling warm yolk all over his face. Harry hurriedly wiped off his eyes and mouth so that he could breathe. Harry complained. "Oh man that's grody."

Sirius was poking his head from down that hallway. "Nice shot Fawkes!"

Fawkes turned to look at Sirius and didn't seem especially pleased with him either.

Two quick fire flashes and Sirius looked around confused wondering what she did. A few moments later he didn't even need canine senses to realize the bottom of his robes were on fire.

Harry was mentally listening to Hogwarts. His rocked his head back in shock. "How would I do that?"

While Sirius was franticly putting out his robes, another sheet of molten rock came shooting out in front of Harry pinning him between a pair large stone walls. The two thick, malleable blocks of rock slid towards each other quickly and gave the appearance of squashing the Hufflepuff Head of House. The massive slabs melted into quick liquid and splashed into the floor leaving Harry standing there tingling.

He looked down at his arms and hands and couldn't believe that what he saw matched how he felt. "Am I made of stone?" the amazed young man asked rhetorically. He flexed his fingers and saw dust and specks of rock flaking away from his tensed knuckles. "This is bloody cool!" Harry lifted his left arm into the air quickly shifting it into his normal flesh, and then right back to stone. "Why didn't you tell me I could do this sooner?"

Even Fawkes was watching him half-amazed.

Harry grinned and got a kick out of the feeling of stone grinding when his face split into a smile. "Ahh sweetie," he cooed in response. "Who wouldn't want to be part-castle? This is awesome!" The undeniable Marauder in him couldn't stop the pun from slipping out. "I rock!"

Harry dropped to his knees and loved the loud sound of stone smacking into stone. He balled his right hand into a fist and punched hard straight into the solid floor.

"Owwwww!" Harry screeched and began shaking his chipped, pained right hand. "God dammit! You tricked me! That's a bad ancient castle! And you Fawkes, I thought you were upset about those knuckleheads eating your egg. But you made your maternal instincts quite clear when you laid another one at about 35 miles per hour on my face!"

Fawkes eyes flashed dangerously.

"Eep!" Harry, the macho man of stone, intoned deeply.

Fawkes flew right up to him and began clawing and scratching at his face. On Hogwarts' telepathic nudge, Harry just stood there and took it, as being made of rock made him pretty safe from any excess anger or bursts of fire. The same could not be said for his robes though as Fawkes had exposed nearly his entire upper body and left shoulder. "Alright, Fawkes, I get it. It was about respect or something. Not the egg, I guess. Owww!" Harry flinched. "Careful around the eyes! Okay maybe it was about the egg. Sheesh, cut me some slack. You know you don't exactly have instruction manuals or decoder rings for people to decipher your chirping, you bloody overcooked Augurey!"

Fawkes abruptly stopped her therapeutic scratching and right away Harry feared he had gone too far. She fire flashed away from him, and stood on the hallway floor. Just staring angrily and scratching her claws on the ground like a bull readying to charge.

"Sorry?" Harry weakly added while taking a step back.

With another warbled cry she leapt into the air with her wings out and legs forward. Harry saw those plump little hips shimmy as she somehow yet again let fly the egg of war.

Now Harry had been feeling guilty about what happened to the first egg that Fawkes had entrusted to his care. The second egg that was still drying and getting caked into his hair he did not feel any guilt over. But maybe, Harry just thought this third egg was another chance, or another shot at proving himself worthy. And his magic was trying to react to save it. Or perhaps Magic itself was truly sentient, had a depraved sense of humor, and thought of Harry as its own special guinea pig. Either way, no one was expecting to see the egg that was flying straight towards Harry's uncovered chest to hit his body like a rock in a pond and just get swallowed into his abdomen sending gentle ripples though Harry's body.

Harry immediate began patting and poking his chest, a little disturbed to find it completely solid stone once again. He spun around wondering if the egg had simply passed straight through him and crashed into the floor. When Harry could find no sign, he asked the obvious question. "Umm… what just happened?"

Two amused and chuckling trills were chattering up a storm. Fawkes was clearly pleased now and nodded at Harry with something akin to a warm smile.

Harry relaxed briefly and shifted his body back into normal soft human flesh. "Whoa!" he gasped placing a hand over his belly. "What the hell… umm… Hogwarts?"

A silent response from the castle and Harry frowned curiously. "No, I don't feel the need to go number two."

Fawkes was bobbing her head up and down in obvious merriment.

Harry's eyes widened. "It could come out my what!" Harry began to sway, feeling dangerously light-headed. "Oh dear…"

He began mumbling to himself. "This isn't good."

Fawkes let out a joyous song for several seconds, and Harry could have sworn she winked at him. As she held the last note she vanished in ball of flame, leaving Harry alone to his worries and fears.

A quiet and unobtrusive voice from down the hall called out. "Umm… Harry?"

Harry shook his head and caught up with his surroundings. "Padfoot! I'm so sorry. I completely forgot you were here."

Padfoot stared at Harry with unblinking eyes. "I'm scared."

Harry laughed at him. "I get that pretty often."

"You know I like… love you and all that other girlie crud, right?"

Harry arched an eyebrow and nodded, while wandlessly repairing his robes.

"Good," Sirius nodded. "Because I'm sooooo glad I'm not you."

Harry smiled at his godfather. "I'm glad you're not me either. You're just too serious to be me." Harry finished respectfully sticking his tongue out.

"Good morning, Professor Lupin," Harry said seating himself at the head table for breakfast. "What brings you to Hogwarts today?"

"Do I need a reason to visit my friends?" Remus replied with a mock hurt look.

Harry glared at the goofy werewolf. "Yes. You do."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine. I thought I'd join you guys for breakfast and see if I could pick myself up a Potions Mastery."

Severus choked on the eggs he was swallowing. He glared at Remus and pouted. "You were supposed to be the nice one."

Remus felt guilty for a moment, but only until Sirius spoke up and mumbled, "And you're supposed to treat students fairly."

Lily mumbled, "And you're supposed to set an example."

James was still wiping the crust from his eyes, "And you're supposed to shower daily."

Neville snapped alertly to attention. "When did that become a rule?"

"Ignore them, Neville," Harry replied. "These three are probably as childish as Severus."

The Slytherin Head of House pouted quietly, "At least I'm alive."

Albus' hand whipped out and smacked the back of Severus' head. He smiled brightly. "You're quite right. That does feel good."

And Severus once again considered retirement. He knew he would never give them the satisfaction of that, but sometimes he dreamed of a world where they all died. Well, and stayed that way.

"So tell me, Harry," Remus grinned as he buttered his toast. "Lay any eggs last night?"

Harry groaned and slowly looked over at his apprentice. "You told him about that?"

Sirius looked around confused. "Of course I told him. Why would you ever think I wouldn't?"

Harry sighed and pleaded his apprentice, "Please don't tell anyone else."

"Tell anyone else what?" Tonks asked as she sat down for breakfast.

Remus grinned and replied, "That Harry's going to be passing a phoenix egg sized kidney stone."

"Thanks Remus," Harry said brimming with sarcasm.

Remus shrugged. "Well you only asked Padfoot not to tell anyone else."

"Tell anyone else what?" Hermione said as she took her seat at the head table.

Tonks turned to Hermione and explained, "Harry's got a massive kidney stone."

"Ouch," the History of Magic professor sympathized. "You know, Harry, muggles can send shockwaves at it that would shatter it into smaller pieces that are far less painful to push out your urethra."

Professor Malfoy gulped and swallowed the food in his mouth. "Egads Granger, don't mention Potter's peehole while we're eating sausage." He paused for a single beat and added, "On second thought, don't mention Potter's peehole ever."

Harry rolled his eyes and ignored Draco. "I don't think that's really an option for me. It's not exactly a normal kidney stone."

Remus grinned proudly. "Yes, this one is so big it's practically a puppy." He finished dangerously looking intently at Harry.

"Oh don't start, Remus," Harry begged.

"You see what happened?" Remus was shaking his finger scolding. "This is you getting what you deserve. I warned you, I told you not to… and now you're going to reap what you sow."

"Whatever," Harry mumbled and scathingly added, "Werewolf."

Remus just chuckled at Harry's bigotry. "So Tonks," Remus turned to the pink-haired caretaker. "Did I hear correctly in that you quit the Aurors?"

Tonks nodded.

"What?" Harry asked leaning forward. "You quit? So you could stay here and get called Mrs. Filch?"

Tonks shrugged. "Apparently they frowned on a third year of sabbatical. And all my old partners are jealous because I get more action here."

"So I've heard," Lily said looking at Tonks like a mother judging her son's girlfriend.

Tonks pointed at Harry. "It's his fault!"

Lily just arched an eyebrow and looked at Tonks.

Tonks defended herself. "All my old partners just sit around twiddling their thumbs with nothing to do because of him. He snatched up all the good ones."

Lily was stifling a giggle and looked over at her son. Harry was just shaking his head, well aware Tonks didn't realize what she was saying.

"I mean with Harry here at least," Tonks pleaded. "I've always got something to do, something to keep my hands busy. I'm always up for any kind of job even if it is just students Harry sends my way."

Harry choked on his juice. "Tonks, just stop. Please. I think you and Professor Bessie are talking about two very different types of action."

"Like what?" Tonks was confused and wracked her brain for some other 'type' of action. "Water sports?"

Lily couldn't hold in her giggles now, and even Harry was chuckling.

Remus raised his hand, "For what it's worth, I saw that coming a mile away."

"What are you talking about?" Tonks insisted. "Half our dates end with me dripping wet."

Harry just shook his head. "Eat your breakfast, Tonks."

"Oh," she snapped angrily. "So now you're telling me what to put in my mouth."

"Miss Tonks," Albus interrupted. "It's too early for me to be picturing you dripping wet taking orders from Mr. Potter on what to put in your mouth."

Tonks blushed violently, only now realizing what she had been saying.

"If you'd like at lunch," Albus continued. "I could offer you several suggestions on things I'd like to see in your mouth but now is not the time."

Before Tonks could even muster up the composure to respond to that, both Professors Prongs and Snape said at the exact same time, "I think I'm going to be sick."

They both stopped immediately and snapped angry stares towards each other.

Professors Malfoy and Padfoot then at the exact same time laughed out loud at their friends' responses before noticing their odd unison and stopped immediately giving each other confused stares.

The looks shared between the four were almost too much, but the awkward silence just hung there, as all four seemed scared to make a comment for fear of being eerily copied again.

Remus' eyes were dancing with mirth at the entire situation. He decided to speak up before he ruined the mood unable to contain his giggles. "So really, Harry. Didn't lay any eggs?"

"Professor Prongs!" Minerva scolded her apprentice. "My office. Now please."

James stopped teaching the sixth years how to transfigure their robes into skimpy negligee, and Professor McGonagall told them to read pages 17-21 in their books.

James followed Minerva into her office. She spun right around. "Did you have anything to do with The Gryffindor Guide that's been confiscated from several students?"

The worried look left James' face and he smiled. "No, I didn't, but that sounds dead useful. What's in it?"

Minerva just kept the stern look on her face and handed him a small laminated card.

The Gryffindor Guide
Old tell young. Young learn.

1). Fire hot.
2). Light good.
3). Love Potter.
4). Me no dumb.
5). Breathe. Repeat.
That is all. No more fingers.
6). Don't forget. Two hands

James flipped it over and saw a picture of a cross-eyed smiling lion with a bike helmet on. "What the hell is this?"

Minerva was not smiling. "That's what I'd like to know! I find this horribly offensive and damaging, especially to the first years who are all still adjusting to life away from home!"

James too, had at first been enraged. He was almost certain Snape was behind this. But James was reluctant to admit, that he recognized the signs from McGonagall whenever a prank had been funny enough to piss her off. He explained, "Snivellus."

Minerva frowned. "He is your colleague and you should refer-" Her scolding tone disappeared and she hurriedly asked, "Do you really think he did this?"

James frowned but nodded. "He probably thinks either me or Sirius did that Cracker Jack thing and just wants to make fun of us."

Minerva raised an eyebrow. "You expect me to believe that you weren't behind that?"

"It wasn't us!" James pleaded. "It was all…" James stopped suddenly unable to say more. He smiled brightly. "Hey, it still works! Our old loyalty oath to each other is still in effect."

"Your loyalty oath?" The Deputy Headmistress asked.

James nodded. "Part of being an official Marauder means you're unable to rat out another Marauder."

Minerva looked at him oddly. "Mr. Pettigrew?"

James frowned. "Oh yeah." He shook his head. "Nuts. The oath was only for snitching on pranks."

Minerva's face softened remembering the tragedy that befell her young former Gryffindors.

"Guess we should have expanded it to cover turning traitor and selling out our lives to the enemy trying so hard to hunt us down." James added with a nod, "And framing each other for murder and exiling them to prison."

Minerva's eyes rolled. "Guess so."

"Oh!" James remembered. "And we shouldn't be able to kidnap the other's children for dark resurrection rituals of our evil Master. That's got to be against some sort of rule."

Minerva nodded and helpfully offered, "Perhaps you should just have included loyalty into your loyalty oaths."

"Hey… yeah," James nodded. "That would have been a darn good idea there."

"Yes well," Minerva let a ghost of a smile flash across her face. "Old tell young. Young learn."

"Minnie!" James beamed a smile. "I do believe you made a joke!"

She sighed. "I've really fought it, but your son's cheek is disturbingly virulent."

James nodded proudly. "I think that's the case with all Potter men."

Minerva snorted. "I hope you are aware virulent means contagious or infectious."

"Oh," a surprised young man paused. "What was I thinking?"

"I sincerely doubt there's anyone in the world who can tell you that."

Just then, an angry Professor Padfoot burst into Minerva's office. "Have you guys seen these Gryffindor Guides?"

"Padfoot," James asked. "What was I just thinking?"

Padfoot looked at James oddly. "Mastication maybe? Or virile?"

"That's it, virile! Thanks Padfoot."

Minerva blinked. "You two are scary." Minerva shook her head. "And yes, Professor Padfoot, we were just discussing The Gryffindor Guide."

"Oh goody!" Sirius cheered. "So do we just want to hurt Snivelly's pride? Or can we get him fired?"

Minerva sighed. "I'm not convinced Severus is even at fault here. To be honest with your surprising rebirth, I've no idea how he's coping."

"Oh come on," James pleaded. "This has got to be Snivelly. And in the incredibly unlikely event that it's not him, well, he's probably overdue for some painful embarrassment anyway."

Minerva shook her head. "I will talk to Albus and make sure these do not spread much further."

"This is completely ridiculous Albus! You should never have endangered the students by allowing these demon zombies into the castle." Severus ordered. "Now this ridiculous childish prank has forced me to endure sexual harassment from my own students!"

"Severus, honestly," Albus chided. "Consoling a frightened student with a hug is sometimes necessary in your role of Head of House. You are to represent your students' interests in a role similar to that of an honorary parent or guardian. It is not sexual harassment."

Minerva entered the staff room and heard their argument. She went over to Filius and asked what was going on.

"Oh Minerva!" The tiny Charms Professor squeaked. "It seems the Gryffindor and Slytherin first years both received 'guides' to life at Hogwarts. I assume you've seen The Gryffindor Guide?"

Minerva nodded. "And you say the Slytherins received them as well?"

Filius chuckled and handed the Transfiguration Professor an ancient looking scroll with a dark green ribbon. "It appears the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs have been spared."

Minerva listened curiously and unrolled the old parchment.

The Slytherin Manifesto
A Guidebook to accepting your failure as a person and living life as a Slytherin.

1). If you feel the urge to cry, as you most likely will quite frequently, scowl harshly and stalk away making your robe/cloak billow as much as possible. Locate your Head of House, and once you are certain no one else is around, only then may you and he/she embrace in a hug and you may let it out in private. Never speak of these encounters to anyone. Least of all your housemates.
SIDENOTE: If your Head of House tries to deny you a hug, use one of the coupons in the back of this booklet.

2). No matter how much you may wish to call someone a doodybrain, don't. Use words like buffoon or simpleton. Slytherins do not say doodybrain though nincompoop may be used sparingly without any emphasis on the poop. Welcome adjectives include good-for-nothing, imbecilic, insufferable, and they are ideally combined with a noun along the lines of dunderhead or fool.

3). If you smile, we will kill your pet. Smiling is not and never will be acceptable. Smirking is highly encouraged at appropriate times. And loud laughter will be permitted if someone from another house is grievously injured.

4). Wear clean underwear every day. You never know when you might get cursed, flipped upside-down, and the last thing you want is for your britches to be anything less than sparkling. Going commando is only ever permitted for females. In those cases refer to chapter three: Grooming and Shampooing Part II.

5). Friends are not permitted. You do not make friends and cannot make friends. Certain allies may be held in higher esteem than others, but they are not your friends. You are a Slytherin.

If you find being a lesser person difficult and are having trouble accepting the fact that you are a Slytherin, take some private time and carefully read through Appendix D: Why no one will ever like me and Appendix E: How to tolerate your fellow Slytherins

Minerva frowned harshly but was obviously fighting a chuckle. "Oh this is horrible."

Filius nodded but was obviously equally amused. "I confiscated this first page from a young girl I caught trying to owl her cat home." Filius explained. "She had spellotape pulling the corners of her mouth down, ensuring she wouldn't smile."

Minerva couldn't help but laugh now. "I hope she's doing alright."

Professor Flitwick was laughing too. "I left her after she'd taken a calming potion and was in Madame Pomphrey's care."

"I think we'll be going through a lot of those this year." Minnie snickered.

Filius nodded. "Until I found out about The Gryffindor Guide, I assumed this was the work of Professors Prongs and Padfoot."

Minerva agreed. "When I received a copy of that one, I thought it might have been them, but they were both quite incensed over it. I doubt they've even heard about this Slytherin Manifesto."

Two loudly laughing voices and horribly amused men made their way into the staff room.

Filius chuckled. "I think they may have found about the Manifesto."

"Sevvie!" Sirius cheered. "I've got a coupon here!"

Severus spun around and was hiding behind Albus. "Get away from me you mongrel! Take your bad touches with you!"

"Mongrel?" James asked with a wide grin. "I'm not sure that's a Slytherin approved term of endearment. Perhaps you mean imbecilic dunderhead?"

Draco was chuckling. "My, my. Professor Prongs seems quite the know-it-all for such a simpleton."

James paused. Tempted to laugh, but considering the Slytherin who said that, he wasn't sure if he was being playfully mocked or crudely insulted.

Albus had no such reservations and laughed at these living embodiments of the house stereotypes. "Please, settle yourselves. This is obviously a prank in poor taste, and you all should be ensuring your students and respective houses know it is just that: a joke."

Harry, who no one even noticed enter the staff room, had eyes that if you looked closely enough were twinkling to the tune of dueling banjos. "Really people. You're all adults. Perhaps you should act like one."

James, Sirius, and Severus all directed their attention towards Harry. In another show of eerie unison, they all exclaimed, "You!"

Harry noticed his amused mother's smile, and innocently replied. "Me? What have I done now?"

Three voices screeched, "You did this!"

Harry grinned. "Great minds thinking alike?"

James and Severus were exchanging angry looks and snarls, unable to agree or deny without committing some sort of personal cardinal sin. Sirius pleaded, "Harry! Come on. You don't prank Gryffindors! That's just uncalled for."

"Why not?" Harry asked. "Gryffindors usually can take a joke better than Slytherins. And I never said I had anything to do with this."

"Hey now!" Severus interrupted. "Don't go generalizing about Slytherins. They have better senses of humor than the mongoloid house of these insufferable buffoons!" He finished pointing his thumb towards James and Sirius.

Albus was biting his lip at Severus' unconscious but entirely expected choice of words.

James frowned. "Come on Harry. That's just plain rude."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "If you can't take a prank, you have no right to be pranking anyone back. Hell, even Severus was inwardly amused by his houses' unofficial Manifesto."

"I was not!" Severus insisted.

Harry smiled. "I can sense some emotions through your mark."

"Oh bite me," Severus pouted.

"Still," James maintained. "Picking on the Gryffies is just wrong."

Harry looked at his father carefully and replied. "I'm not too sure you can appreciate a good prank if it's on you."

"Oh hell no," James said with a shake of his head. "I've got more pranking knowledge, experience and skill in my little finger, then you could ever hope to have."

Harry's smile faltered for a moment. "Is that a challenge?"

"Hell yes," James insisted. "Marauder's Honor Challenge!"

Harry shifted his posture into a more confrontational one and stood there straight looking at his father. "Accepted. Rules?"

James looked over at Sirius' worried face and realized he might need some help. "We pick teams. All out pranking, until the victor accepts the loser's surrender. No judges."

Harry grinned. "Fair enough. As the challenged, I'll even pass my choice and let you pick first."

James was thinking his son was just way too cocky. He looked around and saw a whole lot of worried faces around the staff room. Lily came over to offer her support to her husband. "Alright, I'll take Padfoot," James selected. Lily frowned a little and considered changing who she should be supporting.

Harry nodded and said, "Albus."

The headmaster grinned, and hurried to stand next to Harry. He was almost bouncing in excitement and continued gleefully clapping.

James wondered about Harry's interesting first choice, but continued on regardless. "Remus."

Harry expected that and saw the pout on his mother's face. He still had a strategy in mind for his picks. "Hermione."

"What's that?" Hermione said as she and Remus entered the oddly tense staff room.

Harry grinned and smiled. "My honor as a Marauder has been challenged and the sides are being picked. So far you're with me and Albus."

"Err… alright," Hermione agreed and went to stand by him. "But if anything happens to my hair, I'm taking it out on you."

"Remus," James ordered. "You're over here. So far it's me, you, and Padfoot. And it's my pick."

Lily cleared her throat quite loudly while the three men huddled and had a quiet conversation. James looked up and smiled. "The Weasley twins."

"That's two," Harry pointed out.

Remus rolled his eyes. "They share one brain."

"Fine then," Harry shrugged. "Severus and Draco."

If anyone were paying close attention they would have seen the two Slytherins' pale skin tone turn a slight pink in embarrassment and excitement. The last time they got picked for anything it was usually to torture muggles which they were not particularly keen on doing.

James was certainly not going to object to having even more reason to prank those two. "That's fair."

Lily began stomping her foot. "Professor Prongs," she insisted. "Do you not see me here?"

James snapped his fingers. "That's right! Thanks honey. We pick Ginny Weasley."

Harry grinned a little. "Tonks."

"Sweet!" Tonks cheered and stood over next to her team. Hermione was looking at everyone selected and realized something exceptionally significant about every member of Harry's team.

James looked hopefully at Minerva, who was shaking her head viciously. "Don't even think about it," Minerva warned. James could see his wife was getting past irritated and into furious with anger. "We'll take Bessie."

Harry inclined his head at the safe pick. "Dobby!"

With a pop, Dobby appeared with a wicked smile. He began rubbing his hands together and restrained a cackle. "Yes, Master."

Remus' eyes lit up suddenly and he leaned in to whisper something fervently towards James. James face split into a victorious grin as he nodded in agreement. He smugly announced, "This will be our last pick for now, but we're taking…" James was pausing to drag out his son's anxiety as much as he could. "Nicholas Flamel."