Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"I can't believe we won!" Ron cheered. "Our seeker blows dragon dung! Half the time he gets distracted by the opposing seeker's arse!"

Remus shrugged with a smile. "Well, that actually may be the reason you won this time."

"Hey now!" James frowned. "You know darn good and well Puddlemere should be protesting this match! That's about as clear a case of fan interference as there is."

"But it was a Puddlemere supporter, wasn't it?" Ron argued diplomatically. "I'm pretty sure Luna was wearing a Puddlemere United Superfan Sisters of Yesteryear official original outfit."

James shook his head and looked down, grateful that they got their own proper bodies and clothes back once they left the luxury box, even if he did still have the Venerio curse. "I can't believe Puddlemere's seeker was so easily distracted."

"Did anyone see which catch happened first?" Sirius asked.

Ron nodded. "It was Puddlemere's of course. He broke off the chasing the snitch in his power dive and grabbed the ping pong ball a good two seconds before our seeker got to the snitch."

Tonks was still shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe this tiny blonde can launch a ping pong ball that far!"

Luna explained. "Anytime I seem to be spacing out, it's because I'm focusing on my Kegels."

"What?" Hermione asked, feeling as though a big piece of the Luna puzzle was just revealed.

Harry nodded. "She works out."

Ron shook his head, smiling at Luna. "I was watching the players. Never even saw you throw that ping pong ball."

Luna smiled innocently while everyone else seemed to be having slight coughing fits. Albus was smiling blissfully and added, "I wouldn't be surprised if no one saw her throwing it."

Nicholas snickered and held on tight to Hermione, to keep her from smacking him. "Yes well… I think congratulations are in order, Mr. Weasley."

"Yah mate," Harry grinned. "Congrats! This one game winning streak equals your best streak of last year, right?"

Ron nodded. "Yup, we're heating up now!"

Nicholas coughed and added, "Yes, Mr. Weasley, I am pleased with your team's success, but that wasn't what I meant."

"What do you… ohh!" Ron had a goofy smile. "How'd you know?"

Nicholas tapped his temple. "It's my all-seeing eye."

"Right," Ron shook his head. "Anyways mate, I wanted to let you guys all know… I'm getting married!"

"No way!" Fred exclaimed.

George grinned, "So who's the lucky flobberworm?"

"She must have been drunk!" Ginny's eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh crap, Ron. Is she pregnant?"

"That's great! Congratulations!" Harry cheered his friend. "So when is the baby due?"

Ron looked smitten and still surprised. "I couldn't believe she said yes! And no, she's not pregnant. At least, I don't think so…" Ron finished scratching his head.

Harry paused and carefully asked, "We are talking about Michelle, right?"

Ron nodded. "Yup!"

"Nice one!" Harry grinned. "She's a good catch. Don't mess this up."

"And she's really freaking hot too!" Ron yelled.

Albus chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Have you two lovebirds made any plans yet?"

Ron remembered what he was doing. "Oh right! Yeah, we're going to have a spring wedding." He turned to Harry and looked hopeful. "You're going to be my best man, right?"

Harry smiled back a little shocked. "You want me to? Not one of your brothers?"

Ron shook his head. "Fuck them!"

"Alright then," Harry grinned. "Of course I'll be your best man!"

"Thanks Harry," Ron nodded. "In case you couldn't guess, Michelle's older sister is her maid of honor, so… that should make for some fun!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Something tells me Cho might shed a few tears seeing her little sister getting shackled."

"Shrieked like a bloody banshee when we told her," Ron said with a wince. "And yeah… I'd say it's time to invest in Kleenex before word of our nuptials hits the market."

"Damn," Harry said. "I didn't even realize you two were that serious already. It's only been what… three months?"

"Almost four," Ron corrected. "And yeah… I don't know what came over me. Just woke up one morning, and realized she was the first girl I could think of who still looked really hot in the morning. Decided that meant she was the one. And I was getting sick of other guys hitting on her."

James smiled brightly. "True love is a beautiful thing."

"Mum's going to have a relapse," Ginny said imagining the oncoming conniption fit.

Ron nodded and asked Harry, "I was hoping you could put a protection ward on the two of us, or she might accidentally suffocate us or break our backs when we tell her."

George explained. "Just borrow one of Bill's kids and hold it out in front of you. It's the only way I've found that works."

Harry shrugged. "I have Dobby slip her muscle weakening potions before I ever head over to the Burrow."

Fred and George looked at Harry in awe. "That's brilliant! We should have done that years ago."

Harry shrugged. "Well, they are dangerously addictive."

Fred waved him off. "Details."

Sirius grinned at Harry. "You do realize what this means?"

Harry looked at his godfather curiously. "What?"

"It means you have to throw the bachelor party!"

"Oh," Harry said having not considered that. He turned to Ron, "You do want a bachelor party, right?"

Ron looked disgusted. "Why the hell do you think I asked you to be best man?" He pointed to his twin brothers. "Those two idiots would transfigure a couple of goats into women and try to get me to play some new game called Exploding Snatch."

Fred looked at George. "That's not a bad idea."

Harry smiled at Ron. "Don't worry. I think I can come up with something."

Ron shook his finger at Harry. "And no polyjuiced hookers looking like my fiancée!"

"What?" Sirius moaned. "But that's half the fun!"

Ron looked at the hurt look on Padfoot's face. "Okay…" He reluctantly agreed. "But no more than a half dozen of them can look like Michelle!"

Harry looked at Ron oddly. "I'll try to restrain myself."

"Apprentice!" Severus loudly called with a smile. "Is there anything interesting in full color and taking up the front page of today's paper?"

Draco smiled brightly. "Why it looks like a picture of some Quidditch fans at the match on Saturday."

"How interesting," Severus grinned. "Do you recognize any of the faces in the picture?"

Draco nodded. "I most certainly do! Why that's Professor Prongs, Padfoot, and Bessie! Looks like a gaggle of Weasels and Luna Lovegood too."

"Really?" Severus announced having attracted much attention from the students. "And do you recognize any of the bodies?"

Draco shrugged. "I'm no expert, but those look like identical nearly naked female bodies on the whole lot of them."

"You certainly aren't an expert," James grumbled though happy to be able to readjust his freshly restored member.

"Is that so, Professor Prongs?" Draco asked loudly. "Care to comment on you curvaceous shapely exhibitionist performance?"

"Well, if you were an expert," James retorted equally loudly before mumbling quieter, "or at least not afraid of the female form." He continued in a voice that carried through the hall, "You would have noticed that Luna's body is quite different from the others."

Draco looked at the picture a little closer. "Oh, so hers is. Well… that certainly makes you look much less foolish."

"Yeah!" James insisted before detecting the sarcasm in Draco's inflection. He finished weakly. "Yeah."

"Professor Prongs!" Hagrid came into the Great Hall. "Err… can yeh come outside? This'll jus' take a momen'."

James got up and looked over at Harry curiously. "Yeah sure Hagrid. What's up?"

James got up and dutifully followed the large Care of Magical Creatures Professor.

Sirius and Lily scrambled to follow him. Harry asked his godfather, "Where are you going?"

Sirius looked at Harry like he was crazy. "You think I don't want to see whatever you've cooked up now?"

Harry hurried to follow him. "I'm not even sure what this is about. That's not to say I didn't necessarily cook it up, just that I'm not sure what's going on."

They all slowly followed, keeping their distance listening in on Hagrid and James. Hagrid was explaining, "Ah'm not even sure. Bane jus' came outta the forest screaming and asking for yeh."

James looked confused. "Bane?"

"Centaur," Hagrid explained. "Ruddy stargazers were all upset 'bout some prancing, annoying sumthin' or otheh."

James turned around and saw Sirius, Lily, and Harry following him looking curious. "What does a centaur want from me?"

Hagrid shook his head. "No idea. But he wudnah hurt you. He jus' seemed irritated."

"Harry?" Sirius asked as they followed James and Hagrid to the edge of the forest.

Harry shook his head honestly. "This isn't anything I did."

"Prongs!" An angry voice yelled out from the Forbidden Forest.

"Yeah," James called back. "That's me."

"You need to take care of-" Bane ordered before getting a good look at James. "Holy hell in a hag's handbasket! What are you?" Bane and the two other centaurs with him all snapped their gazes skyward apparently consulting the stars that were visible during the day. Bane looked back at James. "Merciful heavens! You're one of Potter's experiments!"

"Excuse me?" James looked a little panicked and wondered if Hagrid was having trouble keeping his mouth shut as usual.

Bane shook his head. "Never mind. I don't want to know. Cheeky wizard brat is violating the natural order even more than usual."

Sirius looked at Harry and asked quietly, "When did you piss off the centaurs?"

Harry grinned mischievously. "Sometimes I bewitch the entire sky over the Forbidden Forest. Make the stars spell out lewd words and some crude doodles involving centaur and witch relationships."

Lily tried to scold Harry but her heart wasn't exactly in it given the grin she had.

"Bane!" Ronan called out next to him. "Get to the point."

"Right, Prongs," Bane suddenly remembered what he was doing. "Take care of those bloody idiot deer! They keep strolling into our stargazing circles and onto centaur restricted territory! Always prancing and posturing like they're striking a pose for a picture. Stupid ingratiating mammalian inbred…"

"What?" James asked confused. "Why are idiot deer my problem?"

Bane looked at him and was restraining himself from kicking this wizard. "Because… because… you know what? Why don't you take a look for yourself?"

Bane put his thumb and middle finger into his mouth and whistled a loud shrieking whistle.

There was a distant rumbling from the forest that slowly gained speed. Harry, Sirius, and Lily all looked extremely amused and were trying to identify the incoming pack of idiot deer.

As the first ones began to come into view, they seemed to spot James and then pick up speed sprinting straight at him.

Harry and Sirius stared dumbly at the sight of a relatively normal looking deer, other than thick black hair growing from the top of their heads. Lily's eyes were wide, though she seemed to look a little pleased. The rampaging pack of deer began to bay an odd high-pitched sound. "Daaa!"

James saw the deer charging him, looked at Hagrid's confused expression, and the unhelpful stoic impressions the centaurs wore on their faces. He knew there was only one thing he could do in this situation. Without another thought, James turned tail and ran from the rampaging idiot deer.

The pack cleared the edge of the forest and now there were probably two dozen deer, all with what looked like bad, black untamable toupees. They chased after Professor Prongs, continuing to bay loudly. "Daaa!"

Sirius, Harry, and Lily just watched James sprint by, calling out "Help!" They made no effort to assist him, though they did clear the path for the idiot deer stampede. "Daaaa!" The deer called out as they ran past.

Sirius kept his eyes on the sight of his best friend running as fast as he could, and the dust cloud getting kicked up by a score and then some of deer chasing after him. Without tearing his eyes from the scene he asked, "Harry?"

"Mmm-hmm?" Harry replied also keeping his eye on the deer.

"This isn't your doing?"

"Nope," Harry assured him. "This is a bit more… surreal than my style."

"Daaa!" One of the deer at the back of the pack slowed down a little and looked at Harry oddly. "Bro?"

Sirius watched the deer realize it had fallen behind and just sprint to catch up with the rest of the pack. "Okay Harry," Sirius replied with a nod, "If you say so."

Harry and Sirius were snickering to see James dive headfirst into the lake. He was swimming as fast as he could to center in hopes the rampaging pack wouldn't follow him. They didn't. They just stopped at the edge and called out, "Daaa!"

"Umm… Bessie?" Sirius asked. "You okay?"

"Do I look okay?"

Harry and Sirius traded a glance. Sirius answered, "Err… yeah. You look fine."

"Oh," Lily said. "Okay." She scrunched her face to look angry. "How about now?"

Harry and Sirius looked at each other. "Now you look constipated."

Lily just giggled. "Alright fine. I may have had an idea something like this was coming."

"Bessie!" Sirius scolded. "Working against your own team!"

Lily shook her head. "No, it wasn't me. Albus just… well, Albus is scared of me. So he warned me not to take anything I saw today too seriously."

Harry nodded. "This certainly has his flair to it."

Sirius shook his head. "I never would have guessed the old kook had it in him."

Harry grinned proudly. "It seems everyone near to me, discovers their mischievous streak with enough exposure to my demented personality."

Lily's mouth quirked into a half grin. "I'm not sure if that comes from your father or me."

Harry shrugged. "I used to think it was all me, but now I'm not so sure."

Sirius saw James struggling to doggy paddle while the Giant Squid kept dunking him underwater. "You going to help your husband there, Bessie?"

She looked at Sirius. "You realize how much embarrassment we've suffered because he picked us for his team?"

Sirius nodded. "Good point. Hope the water's cold enough."

Harry just stood there enjoying the show.

"Actually," Sirius began. "Harry, could I talk with you somewhere? Apprentice to Master?"

Harry shrugged. "Sure… Bessie? You okay out here?"

Lily nodded kept her gaze on the lake. "Yeah, I think I want to watch the King of Idiot Deer a bit more."

Harry and Sirius settled themselves into the DADA office, and Harry threw up some privacy spells to ensure they wouldn't be disturbed. "What's up, Padfoot?"

Padfoot sighed. "This prank war is starting to get to me. I hate losing!"

Harry grinned. "Losing? Is that like being consistently and constantly humiliated?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes. Consistently and constantly humiliated. That's fine and dandy. I don't mind being subject to your worst over and over again. It's just that none of our pranks are working!"

Harry sat back and smirked.

"You're denying us our oxygen! Our lifeblood! I have this personal need to prank and you keep ruining our efforts!" Sirius ranted. "It's one thing if there's a Dark Lord out there with all the murdering and evil deeds and crud. Then I can put off most pranking because fighting back becomes important to ensure a future full of pranks. But there's no Dark Lord out there! And I can't take this! I can't defect sides in a Marauder's Honor challenge, but seriously Harry. Throw me a bone here!"

Harry waited until his godfather finished. "You feel better?"

"No!" Sirius moaned. "Ranting isn't a prank!"

Harry was tapping his chin. "You know, Padfoot, I think I may be able to help you out."

Sirius frowned. "I'm not turning Snivellus on my team!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm not talking about turning traitor in the prank war. I'm suggesting we come up with our own prank outside of the prank war."

Sirius' eyes perked up. "What?"

"Forget teams, forget Marauders, this isn't about them." Harry stood up proudly and snapped off a salute. "For the glory and honor of Hufflepuff! Or all the Marauders! Or just because, we should prank the school!"

Sirius looked hopeful. "We can do that?"

Harry shrugged. "Why not? We're not trading prank war secrets here. Just moonlighting on a little side job, so that you can get your fix."

"My fix! Yes, my fix!" Sirius eagerly repeated. "This is just what I need. A prank! And one that you and your bloody hidden army won't ruin!"

Harry's eyes flared angrily. "Who told you about my army?"

Sirius backed up in fright. "What? You do have an army?"

Harry laughed. "Oh god, Sirius. You really do need help."

Sirius sighed and sat back. "See? I can't even tell when you're joking or not! And right now, the only thing I can think of is the fact that you never denied having an army."

Harry grinned brightly. "Moving on… what did you want to do?"

Sirius grumbled, fearing yet another organized revolution he might miss out on. "For the prank? Hmm… all our best ideas keep getting rebuffed before they happen, so I don't know. You got any ideas you've rejected or not used yet?"

Harry thought about it. "Well, I'm getting a bit tired of pretty much anything dealing with girlie bits and bodily functions."

Sirius sighed. "Those are the trusty classics, and about ninety-five percent of my suggestions, but I do agree they've been done to death. And since we cannot really target anyone specific, as all the good targets are on yours or my team, we probably need an all-encompassing sort of thing here."

"Which means likely students," Harry continued. "And therefore nothing too horribly painful. That makes it a bit trickier."

"Do you feel some subtle moral lesson or stupid-arse hidden meaning is necessary?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like a bitch?"

"Okay," Sirius grinned. "Good. Those can have their place on occasion, but for the most part that's just an easy way to ruin a good prank."

"I'm fully prepared for mild psychological scarring," Harry smiled. "Within reason, of course."

"What if we dug up some bodies and made a special meal for everyone?"

Harry looked at his godfather a bit worried. "What?"

Sirius shrugged. "Show the world what it's like to be death eaters."

Harry groaned. "No Padfoot. That's horrible and probably too far." Harry paused before adding another, "Probably."

"Alright, alright," Sirius grumbled. "Lily wouldn't let me try it on your team either."

Harry shook his head ruefully. "I could trick everyone's vision into black and white."

Sirius shook his head. "No. That's as bad as turning something pink and calling that a prank. Something a bit more devastating. What if we turned everyone into a muggle?"

"Nope," Harry said immediately. "I did that last year. Ended up being just a lot more work for me."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think that would be possible."

"Well," Harry clarified. "It was sort of an experiment Nicholas and I accidentally conducted. We didn't really make everyone muggles, we just had a magic nullification field about five miles in diameter from here for a couple days. We were capable of magic, and that was when Hogwarts and I bonded sort of, because I had to wake her back up. But no one else could do anything."

"Impressive."

Harry nodded. "Dementor Blood thing. With a pre-made special potion the nullification won't affect you."

"Bet that would make fighting Death Eaters a lot easier."

Harry nodded. "Or a hell of a lot harder if the Death Eaters could do it. But we didn't experiment or discover much on Dementor Blood until Tommy and his bitches were all pretty much rounded up."

Sirius was scratching his head. "Maybe we could resurrect him?"

"You want to bring back Voldemort?"

"Sure. Why not?" Sirius said as he eyes lit up with an idea. "We could turn him into the NEWT exam for DADA."

Harry considered it. "As much as I would enjoy finding a way to make him immortal but nothing more than a test, I think his mere appearance might bring up a few too many bad memories."

"Oh right," Sirius agreed. "Yeah, that'd be bad."

Harry was thinking. "What can we do that would horrify people?"

Sirius looked up hopefully, "And giving them all breasts…"

"Girlie bits," Harry reminded.

Sirius sighed. "What if we drugged them all?"

Harry frowned. "Sort of been done at last year's opening feast."

"Sort of?"

Harry smiled. "Neville gave the house elves a delicious seasoning and is completely ignorant of potential misuses of Cannabis."

Sirius laughed. "I thought the pesto tasted funny. What happened?"

"First time in Hogwarts' history, the house-elves ran out of food."

Sirius laughed out loud.

"The whole staff just kept commenting on how it was the most delicious thing ever. Albus was excited to have discovered his brother's secret recipe."

"Merlin, I wish I'd seen that."

Harry smiled. "It was funny seeing the students fighting over the last few desserts."

Sirius sat back pensively. "Something with a monkey? Monkeys are always funny."

"Yeah they are!" Harry smiled. "But so are midgets. They're pretty much always funny too."

"So what then? Turn everyone into monkeys? Or midgets?" Sirius asked uncertainly. "Or midget monkeys?"

Harry could only giggle. "No, that's…" He couldn't help his girlish giggling. "Too easy… midget monkeys."

"What if we made all the classroom seats into disillusioned bidets?" Sirius considered. "Maybe try and make them triggered by yawning? Or just opening your mouth?"

Harry nodded. "That's not a bad idea. But it's not jumping out at me as the right one." Harry scratched his chin. "Maybe something more Hufflepuff-ish?"

"What would be Hufflepuff-ish?"

Harry considered the stereotypes. "Fatten them all up a hundred pounds or so?"

Sirius shrugged. "What if got them all to face the thirty-ninth worst fear?"

"Thirty-ninth?" Harry asked.

"Well… it would be more annoying and funny than scary."

Harry smiled. "I keep thinking of midget monkeys and feeling like we're missing out if we don't use them. And you know it might be fun to play on the trust people have in me…"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You got something in mind?"

"I've got an idea I'm piecing together," Harry nodded. "How about a good old-fashioned elaborate ruse? I think my other apprentice has proven himself quite skilled and we'll need Nicky's help too. I'm certain he'll love this. Yeah… yeah. Here's what we'll do…"

"Albus," Harry warned. "I've got another test for Dementor Blood. This time dealing with its temporal capabilities."

Albus raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to be endangering the student body?"

Harry shrugged. "I can promise that nothing about this will hurt them. I just need to make sure it's scalar and not too greatly affected by ambient magic."

"And if I say no?" Albus asked.

Harry smiled. "Then Nicholas and maybe… Minerva, yeah Minerva, will have an accident and argument and it'll happen anyway."

Albus rolled his eyes. "Fine. Just be careful please."

"Am I ever anything but?" Harry asked highly insulted that Albus even had to say that.

"Harry…" Albus sighed.

"Fine," Harry agreed. "Just make sure I'm not disturbed. There's no magical backlash danger or anything like that, it's just tedious and a bit… picky. But if we could have the entire staff and student body to attend lunch that would be ideal."

Albus informed everyone at breakfast that lunch was mandatory and to make sure all of their classmates knew. He stood up at lunch, "Attention students. May I have your attention please?" Once he saw he had all eyes on him. "Professor Potter has a large scale experiment he is going to be performing. He assures me, no one will be in any danger. And I thought many of you might like the opportunity to unnerve him through whispers and stares. Please make sure you do not disturb him. We just wish to make sure he is uncomfortable while he works on something that may or may not be historic."

Harry quickly decided it was a good thing he didn't bring Albus in on this one. Harry knew he'd figure it out soon enough, but it was more fun to leave him guessing. "Thank you, Headmaster. Your concern and respect is truly a treasure."

Harry seated himself in the exact center of the Great Hall, and with a gentle push of his hands, shifted the middle House tables outwards just a bit, giving him almost ten feet on either side.

He ignored all the curious looks and carved a large circle into the stone floor with a turn of his finger. He had wands in each hand and was drawing numerous runes straight into the air. After each one, he would thrust them down where they would be sucked into the ground and the entire hall would flash with each one. New symbols and shapes kept appearing into the carved stone floor with each rune, beginning with a large pentagram and then various other ancient looking hieroglyphs.

Hermione and Albus were watching completely fascinated, but unable to identify many of the markings. They were whispering, guessing at the meanings. "I see some sort of lock on magical emanations, lock on impenetrable stone, and I think that one should protect from… evil monkeys?"

Albus corrected her, "Actually it protects from all simians with malicious intent."

Harry pulled out a small vial glowing bright white. He looked up and said, "Here goes nothing." He very carefully dripped out a single drop into the center of the pentagram. While the liquid landed, the white light began flowing outward down all the cracks and connections within the pentagram until it hit the edge of the circle and column of white light shot up into the air, hiding Harry from view and forcing everyone watching to look away.

Harry slowly sat up. "Alright… I think it worked."

No one around anywhere could tell anything different at all.

"What is it you have done, Professor Potter?" Albus asked curiously unable to tell any difference, though his connection to Hogwarts informed him there was something clearly awry.

Harry waved his hand towards a wall facing the Forbidden Forest, and it shimmered away and became transparent. Harry looked closely at the view and then exclaimed. "There! See the birds over the Forest?"

Albus looked out intently and realized right away, the scene appeared eerily static. The birds Harry pointed out were frozen, not moving in the slightest. "What have you done?"

Harry smiled. "I've pulled us outside of time."

Albus looked at Harry impressed and worried.

"It's just temporary, don't worry."

Albus pulled out his lunar pocketwatch and saw that it still was working.

Harry blushed. "Oh yeah. All of our watches are going to be a little bit off now. For however long we stay like this."

"And how long is that?" Albus asked.

"Until I cancel the spell, or the solution is completely used up. For this, I've just done it to the Great Hall, and one drop is only good for about ten minutes. Give or take…"

"Give or take?" Albus asked.

Harry nodded. "It seems to be variable based upon ambient magic as well as magical beings contained within the field. The effect doesn't seem to vary more than ten to twenty percent, but I've been trying to determine how much and why."

Albus nodded taking notice of a few bugs that were just outside and locked into their position in flight.

Sirius whispered to James, "Come on Prongs! This is our perfect chance! He's exhausted from doing that, and won't be expecting anything! He's already told us this will work itself out in a couple minutes anyways!"

James frowned. "I'm not sure we should mess with this. It seems pretty volatile."

"Grow some testiculars, you nancy boy!" Sirius whispered angrily. "Just distract Albus, and I'll get Harry."

James grumbled and went over to the Headmaster. "So Albus… do you distract easily?"

"What?" Albus asked the Assistant Transfiguration Professor curiously.

"Padfoot!" Harry yelled. "No! What're you… oh fuck me."

Albus barely looked over towards Harry when he saw the broken glowing vial on the ground. All of the runes and carvings cycled quickly from white to green to red. A massive flash exploded outward from the center of the Hall blinding everyone there and knocking them to the ground feeling woozy.

"Oww my head," Harry said standing up. "What happened? The spell ended itself! Why'd it end? And Padfoot! What the hell were you thinking?"

Sirius groaned. He looked over at his godson and snickered. "Your hair is blonde."

Harry looked up and rolled his eyes. He closed his eyes and metamorphed his hair back to its normal color.

"Ahh fiddlesticks," Sirius exclaimed. "You're no fun."

Only then did Harry look over and see where everyone was looking. "Holy mother of Merlin!"

The transparent wall no longer showed an unmoving scene of the Forbidden Forest. Now it showed a busy bustling, futuristic floating city and only dark wastelands where the Forest used to be.

Harry looked down at the cracked circle and the empty vial of solution. He waved his hand and said loudly, "Tempus!" There was a haze and the spell spit out, 2:06 PM, March 24, 3121.

"Professor Potter!" Albus yelled out hysterically. "Harry! You said we weren't in any danger!"

Harry just stared at the date and time for a couple seconds and then turned to Albus. "No… I said no one would be hurt. And besides… we may not be in any danger."

Padfoot pulled out his wand and also cast a Tempus getting the same result. "You gotta be kidding me."

A loud pop, a massive swirl of sparks, and there appeared with a long beard Harry's other apprentice, Dobby.

"Harry Potter!" Dobby called out as he fell backwards in shook. "I knew you weren't dead!"

"Dobby?" Harry asked. "What's going on? How are you alive?"

"Not now, dumb ass!" Dobby scolded. "I detected a squibstick! You all must hide your squibsticks or they will kill you!"

"Squibstick?" Padfoot asked. "What's that?"

"Oh right!" Dobby exclaimed. "You guys used to call them… call them… oh Twinky, what are those artifacts called…" He was franticly banging his head to jog his memory. "Oh! Wands! That's it! Wands!"

Albus had a strong feeling they were being subjected to some ruse, but felt like playing along. This was too much fun. "Why can we not use our wands?"

"A weak house-wizard is just used for dragonfeed! All the hopeless magic users that rely on squibsticks are considered useless!" Dobby insisted. "Do not use your wands unless you want to die!"

"House-elf!" Severus scolded. "You are not to give us-"

The Potions Professor was interrupted by a snap of Dobby's fingers and he slammed into the back wall with a loud fleshy splat. "I don't have time to baby you idiots. Follow my lead, if you want to live." He snarled at all the frightened faces.

"Dobby?" Harry asked gently.

"Harry?" Dobby asked in response.

"Can you tell us what's going on? How you're still alive or-"

Dobby clapped his hands three times loudly and silenced not just Harry, but every wizard there. The doors to the Great Hall melted away without even burning. In walked a troop of a dozen armored and proud looking house elves.

"High Lord Dobby," the elf in the lead snarled. "I should have guessed you would be here already."

"Greetings Chief Wiggy," Dobby said with a bow and smile. "I am here, and you have caught me before I had a chance to put away my house-wizards."

Chief Wiggy looked around the room. "These all belong to you?"

Dobby gave everyone a sharp look. "Yes, they do." Slowly all of the people nodded their heads, showing their agreement.

Chief Wiggy gave them all angry stares. "We detected a squibstick."

Dobby nodded. "My apologies," He bowed his head. "If you cannot tell from their silly dresses, I was recreating some ancient practices." Dobby walked over to Padfoot and slapped him right across the face knocking him to the ground. "This whelp didn't understand they were just for show and tried to channel magic through one."

Sirius just sat there rubbing his jaw, surprised at how hard Dobby hit him.

Dobby walked over and stood on top of Padfoot's chest. "Trust me, Chief Wiggy. His insolence will be dealt with."

"Very well," Chief Wiggy reluctantly admitted. "But make no mistake, the Empress will hear of this."

Dobby forced a smile onto his face. "I would expect no less." He just stared at Chief Wiggy, silently waiting for him to leave.

Chief Wiggy stared Dobby down for a few seconds, before turning around to leave. As he walked out, he snarled, "Keep a tighter leash on your pets, High Lord Dobby. Or not even your status will save you."

Dobby said nothing and waited for all the other elves to leave the hall. Once they were gone, Dobby snapped his fingers, and waved his hand. A large steel door materialized in front of Dobby, then flew and wedged itself sealing off the Great Hall again.

Dobby sat down in a chair that magically appeared below him. "Phew. That was too close."

Harry made several motions towards himself, trying to dispel the silencing charm. After apparently being unable to do it, he tapped Dobby on the shoulder.

"Oh right," Dobby said. "Sorry Harry." A snap of Dobby's fingers and the silencing charm was gone.

Harry saw Albus seemed to be having fun, but everyone else looked scared. "Umm Dobby? You mind bringing us up to date on current events here?"

Dobby sighed and sat back. "Harry… I… I… Well, I guess I'm just about all that's left of the Resistance."

Albus stepped up and joined in. "The Resistance?"

"Those of us that believe house-wizards deserve freedom."

"What!" Draco yelped. "Wizards are nothing but slaves? To house-elves?"

A snap of Dobby's fingers and Draco flew backwards into the wall next to Severus. "I am an elf, and will not allow you to disrespect me. You should be grateful no other elf heard that, or you would be dead before you could blink."

"What happened?" Harry asked. "And what of the rest of our families?"

Dobby sighed. "We tried to find you. We wanted to figure out what happened to all of you, but Hogwarts was protecting you in a way none of us could reach. Your families?" Dobby looked at all the timid frightened children. "They all died out probably a millennium ago. You can take solace in the fact that it was still a century before the revolution."

"The revolution?" Harry asked.

Dobby nodded with a sad face. "Too many house-wizards… err well, I guess they were just wizards at the time, kept looking down on the other magical races and creatures. The elf council decided it had gone on far enough, and rescinded all of their bonds to wizards. They organized, fought back, and systematically exterminated over half of the human race, wizard and muggle alike in the span of just two years."

"Great Merlin!" James gasped.

"Do not say his name!" Dobby snarled. "Never mention any wizard's name if you value your life!"

James gulped. "Sorry."

Dobby waved him off. "You couldn't know. And I don't blame you. It was just centuries of oppression, enslavement, and mistreatment that came back to haunt the human race."

"How are you still alive?" Harry asked him.

Dobby smiled. "There is much about elves you do not know. But I am the oldest elf, and respected for that. I've had help from a house-wizard ally as well. He's about the only human left capable of thinking for himself."

"Who?" Harry asked.

Dobby grinned mischievously. "The Empress's personal house-wizard. Speaking of… I must talk to him. Do not do anything stupid. I will be back." And without a sound Dobby disappeared leaving all the students and staff alone in the Great Hall.

"What the hell happened?" A student called out.

"Shh!" Harry called back. "Not so loud! We don't want to attract attention. In case you didn't notice, I wasn't even able to cancel the silencing charm on me. These elves are a lot more powerful than I think any of us remember." Harry thought about it. "Or maybe they've always been this powerful, just never needed to show it."

"Freaking house-… err not house, just elves." Sirius said with a shake of his head. "Who could have imagined this?"

Hermione jumped up. "I told you! I tried to tell you all! But would you listen to me? Noooo… silly little muggleborn Granger!" She mocked. "They like to work! It's fun for them!" Her face contorted in fury, "Wizarding society had this coming!"

Dobby popped right back into the hall. "She's coming! Oh Twinky help us all!" Dobby shook his head. "Trust her house-wizard! He will help you no matter how it may appear! I'll do what I can. Okay, quick! Everyone behind me, and get on your knees!" Dobby ordered.

No one moved.

"Now!" Dobby forcefully ordered. They all snapped into motion and arranged themselves behind Dobby, dropping into subservient positions.

The steel door quickly melted into nothing as a regal looking elf led the way in, completely surrounded by ten other hooded beings. Their faces were not visible but they stalked with a predator's gait.

Albus saw the Empress and couldn't believe his eyes. "Winky?"

Out of nowhere, a wizard from behind her sprinted forward and backhanded Albus viciously across the cheek. "How dare you, you filthy house-wizard! Opening your mouth in the presence of my Mistress!"

Albus looked up and saw "Nicholas?"

Another slap across the cheek. "Do not call me that name! I am Bitchy, the personal house-wizard of the Empress!"

"High Lord Dobby?" the Empress inquired.

Dobby bowed his head and was down on one knee. "Yes, my Empress?"

"What is the meaning of this?"

"Just playing with my house-wizards Empress. I meant no disrespect."

The Empress observed the wizards all of which were keeping their heads down and occasionally stealing glances upward at her. "Kill the mouthy one."

Dobby looked over at Albus fearfully. "My Empress?"

"I said kill him," she calmly ordered. "Why do you hesitate?"

Dobby stood up proudly. "They are mine to do with as I please."

"Bitchy," the Empress ordered. "Kill them all."

Nicholas stalked over and stood right in front of Harry. He caught the eye of every student and staff member there and winked. He pulled out a vial of brightly shining solution that almost everyone there recognized. "Harry! You must hurry! This will freeze your time and rewind you back to before the experiment! Do it! Just the same as the way you arrived!"

Harry grabbed the vial from Nicholas and immediately began casting the runes all over again, this time reversing a few of the ones he needed to reverse. Nicholas turned back to face his Mistress, clapped his hands, and then held them firmly in front of him, separating the wizards from the elves.

"What is the meaning of this?" The Empress hollered. "How dare you! You will all die!"

Dobby clapped his hands, and reinforced the shield ward from his side, protecting the students and staff. "No, My Empress, they will not," Dobby insisted as he settled back into an attack position. His speech patterns reverted back into a more comfortable tone for the wizards. "Not while Dobby still be Dobby!"

She pointed straight at Dobby and the ten hooded figures sprang into action and began attacking viciously with magic and blades. Dobby was bouncing all around defending from every direction to the best of his ability but taking many painful body blows, sending him crashing into the invisible shield Nicholas was holding up. "Hurry, Harry!" Nicholas urged while he strained under the pressure.

Dobby was losing and losing badly. One of the hooded warriors swung his blade in what would have been a killing blow, but Dobby managed to roll out of the way at the last minute. Dobby sprung into action and lunged towards the Empress herself for the first time. His arm extended forward and a brilliant flash of light went straight towards her. She calmly raised her hand deflecting the blow and freezing Dobby in place in the air.

"You are defeated, High Lord Dobby," the Empress calmly explained while holding Dobby locked in place. "What hope did you have in fighting me? What could you have possibly expected to accomplish?"

"I may be defeated, but I haven't lost," Dobby replied as he coughed up blood and spat it to his left and looked her defiantly in the eye.

"You cannot move. Your energy has been expended. What could you hope to win?"

"Dobby didn't need to beat you," Dobby insisted through his struggles. "Dobby just needed to…" Dobby coughed and wheezed as his life was leaving him. "Dobby just needed to… stall you." And then Dobby dropped his head no longer able to remain conscious or breathing. He fell to the ground lifeless as the Empress lowered her arm.

The Empress looked back at the wizards and it was at that moment she sent another magical shockwave towards the barrier.

Nicholas groaned under the strain. "Go now! I can't take anymore. Just remember… all of you… must remember! The future is not set! There is no fate but what we make for ourselves!" With a whimper and a shudder, Nicholas Flamel also collapsed to the ground. His face looked happy and had a slight smile as it was that exact moment the circle in the stone floor of the Great Hall cycled up in brilliant red, green, and then white lights. Another magical flare exploded knocking everyone there backwards and dizzy.

As all the students slowly got up, and began looking around, the transparent wall once again showed the normal Forbidden Forest, and the birds flying above were moving as expected. Albus cast a Tempus and they were right back where they were supposed to be.

There were a number of house elves standing in the front half of the hall. They ran up to the students and staff. "Oh no! Young Masters! You've been hurt!" Winky called out. She turned to the other elves. "All of yous! Hurry! Get Masters food and water! Theys being exhausted and being hungry!"

The students were rubbing the crust from the eyes. Several of them cheered and were hugging each other. Albus smiled at Harry. Harry winked at him and jumped up. "Nicholas? Nicholas, are you here?"

Nicholas walked right in the Great Hall doors and slowly strode over to his girlfriend. He kissed Hermione on the cheek. "Yup. Thought I'd join the little lady for lunch." He noticed where everyone was positioned. "Err… why were you all napping on the floor?"

"Never mind," Harry said with a shake of his head. "Dobby?"

With a pop, Dobby appeared in his favorite poofy pirate shirt. "Yes Master?" He asked with a glorious twinkle in his eye.

Harry hugged the little feller and thrust him into the air for the students. He yelled out, "Praise be to Dobby!"

They all cheered back eagerly, "Praise be to Dobby!"

Dobby blushed and was dropping his head. He acted confused and was half-heartedly asking what was going on.

And Harry quickly added to all the students, "And now let's never mention lunch today… ever again."

Once more, they all agreed and cheered back, "Praise be to Dobby!"

Author's Note: Thanks to dogbertcaroll, I borrowed his suggestion on the thirty-ninth fear. And man I had so much more planned for the futuristic world. There were going to be auctions for the house-wizards and forced to wear trash bags and cardboard boxes. But goodness, stupid little scene went on long enough, and ended up going about 2000 words over what I wanted it to. Reviews would be appreciated.