Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Harry was sitting back smugly behind his desk in the DADA office, making no effort to hide his superior grin from the two girls sitting across from him.

Hermione huffed. "Just tell us already!"

"Tell you what, exactly?" Harry innocently asked.

Tonks furrowed her brow. "That that… phantasmagoric scene earlier was just a set up!"

"Oooh," Hermione's face heated up. "Good word, Tonks."

Tonks smiled brightly. "Thank you."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Used the bathroom in Hermione's quarters?"

Tonks nodded remembering the Improve Your Vocabulary toilet paper for a moment and frowned. "You're avoiding the question."

Harry smiled and nodded appreciatively at Tonks. "And you're becoming more observant and intuitive. I like this side of you Tonks."

Tonks blushed a little and shyly replied, "Thanks."

Harry grinned. "I think it's always good to strive to be a better person."

"Well, I mean, I just thought," Tonks explained. "That it doesn't take much to try and-" Tonks stopped in mid-sentence and angrily shook her finger at Harry. "You're doing it again!"

Harry shook his head. "Like I said more observ-"

"Stop it!" Hermione snapped.

Harry looked at her slightly appalled. "I think some people could be making more of an effort to better themselves, as well as maintain their manners in polite company."

"Yeah really Hermione," Tonks agreed. "You know it only takes seventeen muscles to smile and-"

"Shut up!" Hermione interrupted again. "You're doing it too now."

Tonks looked affronted. "I am not. I'm just…" She stopped and turned to Harry realizing she had been stalling for him. "How the hell did you do that?"

"It's a gift." Harry shrugged. "And a curse."

"Silencio!" Hermione called out with her wand pointed at Tonks before the two could begin to sing It's a Jungle Out There and get sidetracked yet again. "Now dammit, Harry. Answer the question."

Harry waited patiently, saying nothing but smiling slightly.

Hermione huffed. "I'm going to hurt you."

Harry warily pointed out, "I'm still waiting to be asked a question. I've only heard orders and demands that were lacking in common courtesy."

Hermione pictured her power animal and calmed. "Did we travel a thousand years into the future?"

"Why does it matter?" Harry asked. "We're back to our proper time now."

"So we did?" Hermione asked.

Harry looked over at Tonks. "You see how she just jumps to conclusions? It's like we're not even here." The silent Tonks nodded in agreement, playfully frowning at Hermione's frustration.

"You just said we're back to our proper time now." Hermione insisted. "That implies that we did."

Harry shook his head. "No, that only implies that we may not have always been in this time. You inferred that meant we traveled a thousand years into the future."

Hermione sighed. "It seems impossible, but I know damn well Dementor Blood is off the charts in some of its arithmantical fields."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you two. Why on earth would you believe that Nicholas Flamel could exist 1000 years in the future? Let alone Dobby. We'd theoretically been locked in stasis for over a millennium. I'm not immortal."

"Oh," Hermione realized. "Right. And the only way there could have been another Nicholas out there, would have been if one of the two of you were from a future, when you couldn't be, because you were in the stasis. Or you managed to go back over a thousand years, which if the Dementor Blood was able to do, then theoretically you could have been but that would mean-" Any further explanation was cut off because Tonks had just smacked Hermione in the back of the head.

Harry waved his hand and removed Tonks silencing spell. She immediately spoke up. "Dammit Hermy. I think I pulled a brain muscle."

Hermione blushed. "Sorry."

Harry rolled his eyes. "And I don't suppose you happened to notice either, but this particular Dementor Blood solution does not allow or permit time travel."

"What?" Tonks asked. "So you made that whole thing up?"

Harry shook his head. "Not at all. The first two times it was used are the two main ways it can be used, but I wouldn't test them on children." Harry thought about it. "Well, not all of them."

Tonks frowned. "I'm confused. How was that not time travel?"

Harry nodded and Hermione brightened at the opportunity to explain something. She straightened herself, adopted her Professor mode, and while she would never admit it, she was incredibly turned on every time she did this. "Because the solution doesn't actually take you forward or backward in time. It just manipulates how slowly or quickly time passes. The first drop basically stopped time or slowed it down to make it seem as though time stopped. The second larger spill caused a thousand years to pass within what seemed like a few seconds to us." Hermione was straightening her robes and as was her habit, paused in hopes of being awarded house points. "I'm assuming all those runes Harry cast are what would protect all the people in the field from the effects of aging."

"Not exactly," Harry corrected. "It's not necessary because within the field our bodies are affected and metabolize the same as normal time. So if we stop time, or actually slow it to the point it seems that way, we still will need to eat enough food for however long we're there. We could all age the rest of our lives and die, if the field lasted long enough, and the rest of the world would see it as instantaneous death from old age whenever the field finally ended. Or if we just compressed a week into a second, we'd still need a week's worth of food and water for that second until the field ended."

"What if the field never ended?" Tonks asked.

Harry shook his head. "That's not really possible, both from the need of solution to maintain it and our inability to ever see a field that never ended because it would be essentially outside of time. From outside the field, it would literally be less than a second for a billion years inside the field if the solution is at it's most potent. The runes were ensuring we couldn't leave the field and nothing else could enter into it."

"And that's why Nicholas showing up with a way to take you back a thousand years was completely impossible since that would require time travel." Hermione explained.

"Wait!" Tonks realized. "So that whole thing was just a prank?"

Harry's eyes twinkled. "Would you feel more comfortable if I said yes?"

Hermione huffed. "You just said it was!"

"Are you sure?" Harry asked. "I think I only assured you that I wasn't immortal. Never said anything about a prank."

Tonks sighed. "Why do you have to be such a bitch?"

Harry snickered. "Because it's fun?"

"See, Tonks?" Hermione sternly explained. "He's just trying to rile us up. It was a prank."

Harry nodded. "Whatever you say, Hermione. If believing it was a prank is what you need to believe, you go on believing that."

Hermione smiled feeling the satisfaction of knowing she was right.

A chill blew across the DADA office and a black swirl of smoke appeared. The thick fog spun and materialized into a large recognizable dementor. Bob immediately yelled out, "Harry! What's going on? All the dementors are going crazy saying people just traveled over a thousand years from the future!"

Tonks and Hermione sat there in shock, confused as all hell. Both because this was unwelcome information to get, and also because a dementor appearing and speaking English was not an everyday occurrence.

"Ooo," Bob winced. "Have I come at a bad time?" He looked Hermione and Tonks up and down. "Or are these our time travelers?"

Hermione and Tonks just sat there silently staring at Bob.

Bob raised his decayed right hand into the air. "Welcome to the early twenty-first century. I'm sorry to inform we still enslave women." Bob turned to Harry. "Which one is yours, and which one do I get?"

Harry snickered at the pale, confused looks on both girls faces. "Hermione, Tonks, I suppose it's time to properly introduce you to Bob." Harry shook his head at Bob. "Bob, I'd like you to meet Professor Granger and Caretaker Tonks."

Bob's arm dropped and shoulders sagged. "Damn. Your scent is all over both of these two already. Banging the hot future babes before anyone even has a chance."

"Excuse me!" Hermione yelled indignantly neither admitting nor denying any and all said banging.

Harry just laughed. "Oh shut it, Bob. You know very well who these two are, even if they did just come from over a millennium into the future."

"We did?" Tonks asked still a bit scared of the dementor.

Harry smiled victoriously. "I don't know. Did you?"

Hermione sighed. "Harry, die. Die slow. Bob, are you… are you a dementor?"

Bob shrugged. "I don't know. Am I?"

Harry and Bob high-fived while Hermione purpled and Tonks had her eyes shut due to the oncoming headache.

Bob chuckled, "Yes Professor Granger I am a dementor. Just was having a spot of fun with you. I do so enjoy tormenting Harry. And any girl silly enough to date this fool, deserves a bit of jibing too."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I'm not dating Harry."

Bob nodded. "Of course not. You prefer the old hairy," Bob broke out the mocking quote fingers, "immortal Nicholas Flamel. And yes, I know that both of you know Nicky's dirty little secret."

"Hey!" Hermione complained to Harry. "You said everyone who knew was in the room at our first prank team meeting!"

Harry shook his head. "No Hermione, I said all the wizards who knew were." Harry put his hands on his hips and mock scolded. "Honestly Hermione. These prejudices of yours hurt you just as much as others."

"Oh shush," Hermione pouted. "I completely forgot you even picked 'Bob' for our team. Never mind that I had no idea who he was." She furrowed her brow. "Or what he was."

"Yes well," Bob nodded. "If it helps you and Miss Tonks are only the…" Bob paused and was counting in his head, "sixth and seventh… or is it seventh and eighth… of Harry's friends to meet the real me."

Hermione and Tonks looked a little affronted that they didn't know this and so many others did. Bob was grinning brightly, "Most people I run into only get to meet the big bad evil dementor who talks like this: Mmmmmate Jjjjjjjuice."

"That was you!" Tonks pointed remembering that cold and fear she felt that day. "You were the one who was attacking students for DADA class."

Bob took a slight bow. "I try to help where I can."

"So what brings you by, Bob?" Harry asked.

Bob grinned. "First, I wanted to find out why people were jumping around in time."

"No one jumped around in time!" Hermione insisted angrily.

"Really?" Bob asked. "How are you so certain?"

Hermione sighed, desperately hoping not to go through this again. "Because Bob-blood isn't for time travel. It just affects the speed at which it passes within a field."

Bob nodded. "First off, that wasn't my blood that was another dementor's. And you're right the most stable solution reacts that way. But there are many other rituals and ways to use magic with my species' blood that do permit time travel, likely on scales not seen before."

Harry looked at Bob. "Err, Bob. I don't mind the still in development secrets being known by these two, but you do realize you've just lined yourself up for a five hour theoretical conversation that Hermione must have before she can even function as a human anymore?"

"Oops," Bob said. "My apologies Miss Granger, but the time magics for actual travel are, so far, completely unpredictable. And if you would like a conversation, I'd be happy to oblige you, but first I do need to have a brief conversation with Harry."

Hermione gave Harry an evil eye. "I do not need to know everything, Harry! I can function you know." She and Tonks got up to leave. Just as Hermione was almost out the door, she called back, "I'll be waiting in my office for you, Bob. Come see me before you leave."

Bob inclined his head. "Yes Mistress Granger."

Harry snickered at the indignant face Hermione had as she left. "So what's up, Bob?"

Bob sat back and looked at Harry. "I've located three of the cursed dark artifacts. And my preliminary tests all say this will work for what you're wanting."

"Were these preliminary tests legal? Or anything I want to know about?" Harry asked.

Bob shook his head. "Nope. Stick with ignorance and plausible deniability on this one."

"Oh dear," Harry groaned.

Bob waved him off. "Nothing like that. It was one of the braindead lifers, that the house elves are forced to feed because they act as though they've been kissed. No one needs to know he's actually been kissed now."

Harry shook his head. "You're right. I don't want to know."

"Have I ever led you astray?" Bob asked.

Harry just gave Bob a look that said everything.

"Oh fine," Bob insisted. They continued in their small talk about positive uses for dark artifacts for twenty more minutes. With their business finished, Bob asked, "Can you make sure Hermione is alone before I materialize in her office?"

Harry nodded and closed his eyes for only a second. "There's no one else in there, and she's just sitting there waiting for you. Withholding knowledge from her is just about the meanest thing you can do."

"I'll keep that in mind," Bob grinned and waved. "Later Harry." He shifted into black mist and disappeared.

"Professor Granger," Bob greeted as he rematerialized in her office.

"Please call me Hermione," she greeted warmly. "Tea?"

Bob shook his head. "No thank you, Hermione. I just ate."

Hermione stopped and feared he kissed a student or ate puppies and kittens.

"That was a joke, Hermione." Bob grinned. "I just like the faces you made imagining what I must have eaten."

"Funny," Hermione smiled back uncertainly. "Now… knowledge? Please?"

Bob laughed. "Your reputation doesn't do you justice. And what was it you wanted to know?"

"Dementor Blood, time travel, how." Hermione answered concisely.

Bob nodded. "Do you know much about time travel?"

Hermione shrugged. "I'm familiar with time turners, but that's about it. My experience has indicated that timelines are fixed and unchangeable, but Harry tells me they're slightly more fluid than that but he won't tell me how."

"Okay," Bob explained. "But you understand how dangerous they can be, and why it's a magic only the Unspeakables have ever studied in depth."

"The Unspeakables have studied it?"

Bob shrunk down a bit. "Oops. I'm not sure I was supposed to tell you that."

"How would you even know that?"

Bob considered how much to tell her. "Well, the first time turner was the reason the Department of-"

Two third year girls hurried into the office since the door had been ajar awaiting Bob's entrance. "Professor Granger! Have you…"

"Oh my god!" The other screamed noticing the massive dementor reclining in the seat opposite her History of Magic Professor.

Bob waved weakly. "Err… hi. I'm… uh…" He looked at Hermione for help. But she just sat there with wide eyes and a closed mouth. Bob got up from his seat and said, "Right. Well… I think I'll just change out of my Dementor costume real fast."

Bob hurried over and went into one of Hermione's book closets and closed the door. About three seconds later out walked Hermione's boyfriend. "There we go. Much better." Nicholas kissed Hermione on the cheek. "Such an itchy robe with that costume. I'll catch you later sweetie."

Nicholas shook his finger at the two students he had taught as first years. "Just because it's December doesn't mean it's too early to start on your Halloween costume, Miss Morgan, Miss Douglas." And with a pleasant silence Nicholas quickly left the room.

The two girls looked at Nicholas oddly, and the stunned look on Hermione's face. "Professor Granger?"

"Oh," Hermione said with a shake of her head. "I'm sorry, Miss Morgan. What can I do for you?"

"We… well," the two girls exchanged a look. "We thought about what happened at lunch, and decided we wanted to help."

"Help?"

They nodded. "Yes Ma'am. Dobby told us to talk to you about Preventing Underprivileged Killer Elves?"

Miss Morgan nodded. "He said that our PUKE could be a subdivision of your SPEW."

Hermione sighed and wondered if she would ever live that damn acronym down.

Professor Potter and Professor Prongs walked into the Great Hall arguing. "Severus!" Professor Potter called out.

Professor Snape grumbled into his dinner and grunted back, "What?"

Harry smiled at Snape's irritation and sent him a burst of pleasure that made Snape grimace. "Professor Prongs here seems to think that you are even more gullible than he is. I keep defending your honor, but he has regaled quite a few instances of your youth that leave me with doubts."

Professor Snape frowned harshly. "I am not gullible. He is just cruel. And stupid."

"Hah!" James harrumphed. He turned and looked at all the students in the Hall on a Saturday. "I bet you can't even tell me how many of these students are wandfers."

Severus scowled harshly. "What's a wandfer?"

Harry just sighed and dropped his head.

"For magic," James smiled victoriously. "Dumb-ass."

Harry just shook his head in disappointment while Severus weighed the benefits and drawbacks to casting an Avada Kedavra on Professor Prongs.

"Oh Severus," Harry groaned. "I actually feel embarrassed for you."

Severus just walked away mumbling, "10 points from Gryffindor, 10 points from Hufflepuff, 10 points from Gryffindor, 10 points from Hufflepuff…"

Harry smiled and made sure to add back the points. He turned to his dad. "Come on, let's get Padfoot and Neville. We've got a lot of drinking and strippers to get through."

"Yeah we do!"

"Padfoot," George began.

Fred continued, "I'd like you to meet,"

"Padfoot," they finished in unison.

Sirius grinned at the cute little Dalmatian as he went to pet his head. "Hey little guy!"

"Hello!" The dog happily barked.

Sirius stopped his motion and just stood there in shock.

"Hello!" The dog barked again.

Sirius grinned brighter than any could remember him ever doing before. "Hello!" Sirius called back.

"Hello! Hello." The dog yipped and ran up to the human Padfoot.

"Hello, hello, hello," Sirius replied. "Hello English?"

"Hello hello hello hello. Hello!" The doggy answered back.

"No way!" Sirius said. "They did?"

"Hello hello!" The puppy insisted.

"Not even the healers could remove it?"

"Hello hello hello helo!"

"So what happened to the rest of the gerbil tunnels?"

"Hello! Hel-"

"Alright that's enough from you!" George insisted with wide eyes clamping his hand around the little puppy's mouth.

Fred looked at the traitorous little doggy. "We're going to be having a discussion later about your loose lips!"

"Hello hello hello!" The frightened little doggy yipped.

Sirius shook his head with a grin. "No, Padfoot. 'Lipstick' refers to something completely different. Just trust me."

George went to go lock their little puppy back up. "I think that's the last you're going to get to see of Uncle Padfoot."

"Hello!" Sirius called out bidding the adorable Dalmatian adieu.

Fred looked at Sirius oddly. "Did you really understand Padfoot?"

"Padfoot, eh?" Sirius asked with a smile. "Or do you mean your peanut butter loving Mrs. Tiggle-"

"That's enough!" Fred and George both blurted out interrupting Sirius. "Don't we have a bachelor party to get to?"

"Yeah really," Ron insisted. "We all know these two are perverts, but I don't want to think about that while I'm sober."

"Fair enough," Harry agreed. "I've got us a portkey. Is this everyone Ron?"

Ron looked around. "I don't see any naked bressesses."

"Yes yes," Harry rolled his eyes. "Those are on the way. I just meant the other people you may have invited?"

Ron's eyes widened. "Invited? Err… was I supposed to?"

Harry looked at him oddly. "I only talked to your family and these miscreants. Did you not have anyone else?"

Ron shrugged. "I'm here for the bressesses."

Harry looked around at Bill, Charlie, Fred, George, James, Sirius, Remus, and Neville. "Alright, works for me. Everyone gather round and we're off."

The motley group gathered around the massive feather boa. Harry grinned and activated the portkey, "Ronniekins."

A long and tortuous portkey ride followed and all ten of them crashed on their arses on a giant twenty foot pillow. Neville began screaming in fright as he thought they were being eaten by the satiny pink softness. "Aaaaahhhhh!"

Harry laughed. "Settle down, Nev. It was just a pillow to catch us when we fall."

Neville calmed significantly, apparently flashbacks about returning to the womb now forgotten.

"Where are we?" Charlie asked as he struggled up.

Harry helped everyone up and they made there way out of the enclosed back room. "We're in the only place you can ever have a proper bachelor party."

Sirius gasped in realization. "We're at the modern Mecca?"

Remus made an odd face. "Mecca?"

Harry knew his godfather and nodded. "We are at your Mecca, Padfoot. Yes, everyone, welcome to Vegas."

Fred and George gasped as tears sprung to their eyes. "Our home away from home."

"There's bressesses here, right Harry?" Ron verified.

Harry nodded. "Yes Ron. Lots of them. Jubblies as far as the eye can see."

"Perfect."

Harry explained, "I've reserved the VIP room for us here. We're at the only magical casino wizards can legally gamble at in Vegas, the Drunken Niffler. I would recommend that you not stray from here, as your presence is not particularly welcome elsewhere on the strip. Whereas here, everyone is informed, if not magical themselves, and magic is used and utilized in much of the gaming. I know many of you might not have come prepared so you will be allowed an immediate tab of a few thousand galleons. Don't bet it if you're not willing to lose it. Fred and George, you two have your usual tab, as apparently Alejandro was delighted to hear the guest of honor's last name and asked about you two immediately."

"Great man, Alejandro," Fred said gruffly.

George nodded. "Best friend a guy could have."

"As long as you don't mind having your ass pinched a few more times than is friendly." Fred agreed.

Harry nodded. "My ass shocks him when he goes for me a second time. I let the first one by as a courtesy."

James asked, "Err… you sure this is the right sort of place?"

Harry laughed and nodded as a tiny man who couldn't have been more than five feet tall came bursting into the room. "Harrrrrry!" he exclaimed joyously rolling the R way longer than was necessary. "So good to see you!"

He turned to the redhead with the goofiest grin there. "And you must be the man of the hour, Meester Weasley, no?"

"That's me," Ron grinned before yelping as his ass got pinched. "Careful there."

"He's tender," Fred called out.

Alejandro turned and greeted, "The terrible twosome, double trouble, it eez like taking a crap and holding a mirror up to it!"

George grinned at their always warm welcome. "Cheers Allie!"

Alejandro hopped over and shook their hands as well. "Now, you are all welcome to crash in a room, just ask for one at the desk. Thees back room eez yours to ward and make whatever demonic rituals Meester Potter has planned. Just inform the dealers on the gaming floor you are part of the Ronniekins party, and they will scan your wand eef you wish to try your luck at gambling."

Alejandro walked over towards the exit door, and snapped his fingers before shimmying at the waist. "And now I will leave you filthy leetle men to your show!" He clapped twice loudly and spun around a full one hundred eighty degrees prancing out of their private VIP room.

The lights all dimmed and stage grew up from the ground surrounding the group on all sides. A dozen scantily clad women all came out with see through camisoles and other practically sheer negligee. Under their arms, each one carried a bucket.

"Harry," Ron dumbly asked entranced by the women circling around the group. "Is that what I think it is?"

Harry just chuckled.

The obvious leader of the group was over six feet tall and looked like a genetically engineered super woman created by the Germans. "Ronald Veasley!" She yelled looking straight down at the man.

Ron nodded and wiped the drool off the side of his mouth.

She rapidly descended into a squat directly in front of Ron's eyes. The stretching and motions in the fabric inevitably drew Ron's eyes to a particularly interesting central area. She insisted, "I vant to dance for you!"

Ron was whispering back, "And I vant you to as vell!"

"But before ve dance!" She ordered and presented him his bucket. "You must eat!"

Ron accepted his bucket of fried chicken as though it was the Holy Grail. "Okay."

All the other girls presented their buckets to the other men in front of them. "You eat, you get rewarded."

Neville's stomach was grumbling, and so he paid little mind to the hot practically naked Scandinavian-looking girls in front of him. He pulled out a drumstick and groaned in pleasure at the delicious meal. He didn't even notice the two girls in front of him beginning to make out.

Harry laughed as Neville turned and flashed him a thumbs up, apparently for a good dinner, as he was unaware a large pair of breasts was going to greet him when he turned back around. His girlish scream when he smacked his face into the blonde was highly comical. Especially as he apologized and tried to rub the chicken grease off her chest.

Sirius on the other hand had his eyes firmly fixed on the girl in front of him. He kept staring at her, maintaining eye contact, grabbed a piece of chicken from his bucket, and stuck the whole thing in his mouth. Still never looking away, he shifted it back and forth twice in his mouth before pulling out a completely stripped singular chicken bone. The girl's eyes widened and she whistled. Her pet poodle came running out then, and it had on the same outfit as the dancer. Sirius tried to hide it, but Moony called him out for crying.

After that things took a turn to freaktown.

Harry slowly regained consciousness. He looked to his left and saw a peacefully sleeping naked woman. He looked to his right and saw two more peacefully sleeping naked women. He looked towards his lap and saw his dad asleep with his head drooling into Harry's lap. "Ahhh!"

If the screaming didn't wake James, the knee to his face probably would have. But the reflex of Inga, sleeping on Harry's left side, was to flail, and the forceful kick to James' relatively unprotected manhood brought him rapidly to awareness. He wasn't quite sure what happened, other that he woke up groaning in pain. "Stop screaming so loud!"

"No you stop screaming!"

"No you!"

Apparently there were at least four other men in the room, all of which were screaming for the others to stop screaming. When Harry saw the pouting look on Inga's face, he knew he should do something, so he cast a massive silencing spell, preventing everyone from speaking. He quietly announced, "That's better," and then rolled over back to sleep.

An hour or so later a cold bucket of water splashed on Harry quickly waking him. All the rest of the guys were angrily pointing at their silenced mouths, while several girls now wearing hotel robes were visibly chuckling. Still the blissful silence remained while Harry just smiled at them.

Harry decided to be the nice host and removed the silencing charm. Every one of the girls there gave Harry a smooch on the cheek and maintained their silence as they then left the room. Nothing says professional like knowing when not to talk. Harry enjoyed the jealous looks from Bill, Charlie, Ron, James, Sirius, Remus, and Neville. "And how is everyone feeling now?"

"Better ever since Alejandro delivered the hangover potions," Ron admitted. "Though no one has seen nor heard from the twins. And why don't you have a hangover?"

Harry shrugged. "Good metabolism. And knowing Gred and Forge they're probably still gambling. I doubt they've even gone to bed."

"Dammit Harry!" James insisted. "You promised your mother I'd be home last night, though probably drunk!"

Bill was blushing a bit and nodded. "Yeah, you could have given us a heads up."

Sirius looked at Bill's blush. "What happened?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Yes Bill. What did happen?"

Bill rolled his eyes. "I tried to floo Fleur and apologize for not making it back when I had promised…"

Harry grinned as he put a shirt on. "Don't you trust me?"

"Yes yes fine, I trust you," Bill said. "I spent time writing out an apology and stuck my silenced head into a floo only to meet up with myself. The me on the other side slapped me and reminded me to trust Harry." Bill grumbled. "Don't know why he didn't remove the silencing charm on me though."

Harry grinned. "Well that's easy. It was because he already knew that he hadn't earlier."

Remus sighed. "Harry… you know time travel is illegal."

"We're time traveling?" James asked hopefully.

Harry nodded. "I figured we could gamble a bit this morning, go have a barbecue on the beach this afternoon, get drunk and return at the proper time last night."

"Sweet!" Ron agreed readily.

"Umm…" Neville interrupted. "Not that I mind breaking the law with you yet again Harry, I just have one question-"

"Before anyone else's panties get into a bunch," Harry said sarcastically.

"Will you stop looking at me?" Remus huffed.

"We won't be breaking the law time traveling anyways," Harry insisted. "It's only every major halfway organized nation that has laws against time travel. We're going to be going to my island for the barbecue and beach. And there I get to make the laws."

"Wow, okay," Neville agreed. "That's… damn you're lucky… but back to my one question, umm Harry, your mother?"

Pretty much everyone looked at Neville's shocked face and laughed.

"Oh crap, Nev!" Harry laughed. "You're too used to weird shit around me, that I never even realized you didn't know still. Let me make some way overdue proper introductions, Neville Longbottom, this is my father James Potter and my godfather Sirius Black."

Neville's eyes lit up in realization. "God that makes so much more sense. And Professor Bessie would be Lily Potter?"

Harry nodded.

"So I take it your island doesn't have laws on necromancy either?"

Harry groaned and let his dad explain it to Neville.

They all had a light breakfast, located Fred and George who were up about eighteen thousand galleons, and gambled for a few hours. Most people just bet the same things that Harry did on the roulette wheel and craps tables. Everyone ended up winning at least a few hundred galleons, except for Remus who tried his hand on the poker tables and lost a thousand galleons before Padfoot pulled him away. Fred and George very reluctantly said goodbye to their good luck charms that truthfully didn't look old enough to be in the casino, and the group of ten men went back into the VIP room. Once again, Harry had everyone grab hold of the long feather boa and he activated the portkey.

The group reappeared in a completely white room. White walls, white floor, white ceiling and it seemed like all six walls were the light source.

"Alright, just a moment," Harry instructed while waving his wand in a complicated motion. "If you want to see something cool you can look at your watches." Those that did saw as time around them rewound rapidly, and in about five seconds they had gone back a day. "There we go," Harry announced as he pushed on the middle of one of the blank white walls and it opened into a doorway.

He led them all up a long flight of stairs and explained, "We should be leaving for our bachelor party in about four hours, so I figure we should kill eight hours around here and arrive home mildly drunk, to please those of us who fear our better halves."

The majority of them all single guys laughed at James and Bill's blushes. Ron was laughing too until it was painfully pointed out that he was in their group too now.

Dobby showed up and happily provided all the sides and other tasty treats, while leaving the men to turn the meat on the fire. After all they were manly men. Grilling was their birthright.

A heavy dose of male bonding filled with beers, pick-up games of Quidditch, and some limited swimming followed and they all finished off their meal with their own bottles of firewhiskey to nurse around a bonfire.

"Swear to Merlin," Sirius boasted. "The hooker thanked me and gave me my money back."

"Right," James sarcastically agreed.

"With tip," Sirius added.

Remus just chuckled. "Alright Harry. I'm dying to know now. How the hell did you get your own island independent of any government?"

Harry smiled wistfully and honestly answered. "Believe it or not, a friend left it to me."

"Who?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Wesley," Harry replied. "I doubt you guys would know him. He was pretty old and actually died here." Harry pointed towards an overgrowth of wild magical flowers. "Buried him over there."

Remus detected the slightly somber mood shift and asked, "How'd you meet Wesley?"

Harry's eyes twinkled and explained, "It was actually Nicholas who introduced us. He'd known Nicholas for over a century."

James' raised an eyebrow. "And he left this island to you? Not Nicholas?"

Harry nodded. "Yup. Wesley was truly brilliant. He's the one who built that time chamber we portkeyed into. He taught me probably more than anyone else has." A comfortable silence fell across everyone as they could tell this Wesley person meant quite a bit to Harry.

"Alright, alright," Sirius jolly tone started up. "As long as we're opening up with the honesty and such, Prongsy old boy, there is something you have got to tell me."

James raised a curious eye.

Sirius smirked at Remus. "You would never tell us what you changed the password to your trunk to for seventh year, and none of us could ever guess."

James' eyes widened and he subtly glanced at Neville.

Remus' eyes lit up. "That's right! I almost got you to tell me that one time you jinxed off your arms, but then you suddenly refused to!"

Sirius nodded. "Yup. He was willing to share the trunk with us, but there was something embarrassing about what the password was… so," Sirius grinned wickedly. "Out with it, already. What was the password?"

James shook his head. "No way Padfoot!"

"Oh come on," Harry begged. "Secrets on this island stay on this island. You're among friends here."

James maintained his silence.

Padfoot insisted. "We've all had to be honest about our most embarrassing experiences… give us this one, and you won't even have to do that."

"Now hold on," Bill insisted. "I just told you guys I wet the bed when I lost my virginity! I want to hear his most embarrassing experience!"

Sirius waved him off, "I'm sure me and Moony can probably figure that one out for you. But I want this password."

"Fine… fine…" James gave up. "But this doesn't leave this island!"

"Yes, yes, yes," The Weasley twins said with shakes of their head. "Spill."

"If Lils ever finds out, I'm dead but…" James hesitated and finally finished. "The password was I made out with Longbottom."

Neville gasped.

While Sirius' eyebrows rose. "You made out with Alice?"

James turned to Padfoot trying to hide his surprise and nodded. "Yes. Yes I did."

"Hold on a second," Remus interrupted. "Frank and Alice didn't get married until after we graduated. The only Longbottom was… oh." A surprised Remus paused and added. "Ohhh."

James turned beet red and refused to meet anyone's eyes.

Sirius jumped up with a wild grin on his face. "You made out with Longbottom! Oh Merlin!"

Ron, who had been enjoying his firewhiskey greatly, chuckled out, "I know what that's like."

Neville's eyes widened and he eeped out loud.

"Did I say that out loud?" An extremely frightened looking Ron asked, adamantly refusing to look at the incredibly pale Neville Longbottom sitting next to him.

Everyone else, even James, was laughing their heads off at him. Harry assured him, "Yep."

"Oh god," Ron moaned, while Neville seemed to want to run into the ocean and never come back. "Harry… help."

No one was all that surprised when Ron caught a stunner in the face, while everyone else continued to laugh merrily.