A/N: I wrote this story for the 20fruits community on Livejournal. This is my second attempt at a Fruits Basket fic, and I don't know why in the name of God I decided to write about Haru. XD I like him, but I didn't see myself writing fics for him. Anyway, here it is.
1.Before Hatsuharu was born, his mother had been so excited about her child. Decorating the nursery, picking out clothes, checking out baby name books at the library…
And when her son arrived, two months early, and he turned out to be a member of the zodiac-and not just any, but the cow, the fool-she was so disheartened that she ended up ignoring her son. Sure, she would do things like clean his room and make his lunch and take him to school, but Hatsuharu never knew true parental affection. She never tucked him in at night, and she never stroked his hair, and she certainly never hugged him.
2. Hatsuharu first noticed at a young age the people watching him, attempting to conceal their laughter, but he never really understood why until the day Akito told him the story of the Zodiac banquet. His God had explained to him how the rat had tricked the ox into taking him to the feast, and that that was the cow's legacy. Haru remembered listening to this story, and at the end wondering that, if that was the case, then why were they laughing at him? Just because he was the cow, that didn't necessarily mean that he was stupid, did it?
Akito assured him that he wasn't stupid, that nobody truly believed that Haru himself was a fool. He told him that they were only laughing over the story, and that nobody was serious about it.
Haru clung to that notion.
3. Haru was six years old when he first went Black, being teased by a group of boys who were slightly older than him. They physically hurt him-shoving him, pinching him, minor things that little boys do-but the real pain came from the things they said to him. They called him a stupid ox, that he would always be a moron, that he couldn't do anything right. That was what finally set off all the anger he'd had locked inside. He ended up giving two of the boys black eyes, and while the third boy had gotten off unscathed, Haru still ran after him for quite a while.
4. Haru refused to believe that Akito had lied to him. Akito was his god, after all, and God didn't lie. He must have been mistaken, is all. He couldn't have known that people were actually laughing at Haru, and not at the mistake the cow had made.
Instead of being angry with Akito, Hatsuharu began to place the blame on the Rat. The Rat had been the one who tricked the cow in the first place, and so wasn't it his fault that Haru was being teased now?
5. In hopes that Hatsuharu would be able to control his rage a bit more effectively, his mother signed him up for a martial arts class. Haru really did have fun learning, but he could never shake the image of those people laughing at him. Sometimes the picture would be so vivid that it would cause him to break into seemingly random fits of rage in the middle of class.
He never fought as well in Black form.
6. One day, Haru found Yuki while lost on his way home. He only recognized him from the juunishi banquet; he'd never really met him before.
Seeing this person, this Rat, who'd caused him so much humiliation, Hatsuharu had been mad, so much angrier than he'd ever been before. He exploded into Black Haru, yelling at the Rat, saying that everything was his fault and how much he hated him. At the end of his tirade, he'd stood there breathing hard, drained by all these things he'd never said out loud.
Yuki hadn't been fazed by his outburst. He simply asked Hatsuharu if he really believed all that, if he were really stupid. Haru had been so stunned by these quiet statements of truth. He'd never imagined that the Rat could be capable of compassion.
Yuki had helped him see what was real, but Haru also knew now how stupid he'd really been.
7. When Haru had found Rin collapsed on the ground, he'd wanted to carry her himself. He wanted to be the kind of friend she could depend on when she was weak, who could help her no matter what. But instead, he'd had to run to Shihan for help, unable to do anything just yet.
8. Haru wasn't sure how long he waited outside Rin's room in the hospital. He sat quietly next to the door; knees drawn up to his chest, only coming inside when he heard Rin's voice.
When her parents arrived, and Haru heard the terrible things Rin's mother said to her, and saw Rin crying, he'd been unable to contain his anger. He shouted at Rin's parents and ordered them to apologize, but they just left as though they didn't hear him. He was about to run after them when she sound of Rin's voice snapped him out of his rage. She said "thank you".
Haru couldn't carry her when she had fallen, but at least he was capable of this one thing.
9. When Rin had been sent to live at Kagura's house, Haru would come to see her as often as he could. They would go out and do whatever they wanted to do-they would go somewhere, they would buy things to eat, or they would simply talk. Rin would confide in him, show him the side of her that was not normally seen by most. Haru was glad that she trusted him so much to drop her guard when they were together. He was happy that she felt safe around him, because he wanted to be able to protect her.
10. Haru also visited Yuki, when he had the opportunity. It was a difficult thing to do, as Yuki wasn't allowed visitors, but Haru was willing to risk it. Yuki desperately needed company other than Akito.
It wasn't for a while, however, that Hatsuharu decided to do something about it. Yuki needed to get out of this place, to go to a new school, to meet new people, to live a real life. But he wasn't going anywhere if someone didn't intervene.
Haru eventually decided to ask Shigure if he would consider letting Yuki live at his house. It was a long shot, but Shigure was the only member of the Zodiac besides Ayame who lived outside the Sohma estate, and Haru knew that Yuki wouldn't want to stay with his family. Luckily, Shigure agreed-on the condition that Haru call him "sensei". Small price to pay for Yuki's freedom.
11. Haru had always been a favored member of the juunishi. Akito would always talk to him and pet his hair and hug him, almost in a motherly fashion-and literally, god knew he'd had a lack of familial love. Still, Haru was always careful around him. He knew what Akito was capable of. He'd seen the damage his god had done to Hatori, to Kisa, even mentally to Yuki.
Haru had sensed for a long time that something was not right with Akito. He would see how the young man would glare at the girls of the juunishi, or talk badly about females in general. Haru wondered if there wasn't more to Akito's hatred of women.
12. Haru has always felt sympathy for Kyo, and at times wonders how the boy ever came to deserve the treatment he'd had to endure. But Haru always knew the answer to his own question. Kyo was the cat. He would always be looked down on, as the previous cats before him had been.
Haru had helped Yuki to escape the cage he'd been in, but there was nothing he could do for Kyo.
13. Hatsuharu didn't quite remember when he fell in love with Rin. He'd recognized attraction from the start, but eventually her rarely seen smile won him over. It was a gradual thing, but by the time Haru asked Rin to kiss him, he was certain of how he felt.
Rin had been worried over how Akito would react, should he ever find out, and truthfully so was Haru. But their mutual desire made them forget about Akito's rage, for a little while.
14. Haru was the sixth member of the zodiac to meet Honda Tohru. He was glad that she was living with sensei-after meeting her and talking to her, even telling her the story of how he met Yuki, he knew that this girl would be a calming influence on both Yuki and Kyo. It would be good for them.
15. When Kisa was having her problems at school, Haru was always there, trying to comfort her, looking for her the day she ran away, holding her while she cried. Kisa reminded him so much of another child who didn't speak that he couldn't just watch while she suffered.
And when Kisa began to speak again and started going back to school, he felt like a proud big brother. He knew she could do it.
16. Haru had been at the dojo when he received the call from Hiro that Rin had been injured and hospitalized. Hiro didn't say how it happened. Neither did Rin, when Haru went to visit her and asked her. Instead she just told him flatly that she didn't want him around anymore, that she was sick of him.
The realization didn't sink in for a few more days. At first he simply didn't know what to do, but then he made a vow to himself that he wouldn't give up on her. He couldn't.
Haru had an idea of how she'd been hurt, but he just kept pushing it out of his mind.
17. One day at school when Haru was talking with Yuki, a black-haired boy randomly showed up behind Yuki, calling him "Yun-Yun" and exhibiting more hyperactivity than Haru would think possible. Haru could see how much less guarded Yuki was around this boy than with pretty much anybody else. It made him smile, seeing Yuki start to reach out a little more, start to be himself. He left the two of them, telling the boy to "please take care of Yuki". He had faith that he would.
18. When Hiro finally told him that Akito had been the one who pushed Rin out the window, Hatsuharu's initial reaction was to go after Akito, which was exactly what he did. The knowledge that his god had done this thing was absolutely unacceptable to him. God was supposed to be merciful to his subjects, wasn't he?
19. But when Haru shoved Akito against the wall, he realized that not everything was Akito's fault. Part of the blame was to be placed on Haru himself-not for harming Rin, but for not doing anything about it. He'd known all along that Akito had hurt her-who else could it have been? -but he hadn't confronted Akito until now, he hadn't told Akito that what he'd done was wrong like Kureno just did, had he? And so what good would it do if he were to hurt Akito in return?
Disgusted with himself, he'd simply left Akito, which hurt his god in a way Haru had not intended. But Haru knew that he couldn't stay by this person who'd been lying to him for so long.
20. A few days later, Haru found Rin collapsed from exhaustion on the sidewalk. He talked to her, and she told him everything she couldn't before. She'd been trying to protect him, trying to bring about his happiness, tried to do everything on her own so he wouldn't be harmed. And Haru knew that no matter the cost to himself, he had to be with this girl who he loved, and whom he knew now loved him just as much.
And now he could carry her, as he couldn't when he was a child. He could help her when she needed it the most, when she had fallen too far to pull herself back up. That was all he had ever really wanted as a child, and now he could say to himself that he was strong enough to do this.
How far he had come.