Ross hadn't forgotten the Joey problem and had decided to confront him once and for all. He didn't want to have to read the riot act to his friend, but he'd ignored the situation for long enough, may be too long. As it turned out, there was nothing he needed to say.
It began when Emily was on her way to meet everyone at Central Perk. She had become used to the trip there, and had long forgotten her nervousness about New York streets - too much had happened in between her first days in New York and now. So the thought that she might be mugged was far from her mind. Unfortunately, while she was relaxed about New York streets, she had not yet learned the kind of vigilance that the natives use to spot trouble before it starts, so she did not notice the rangy, shify looking man who had followed her, eyeing up her purse. This was being carefully held, so that the man could not do a snatch and runs so instead:
'Gimme your purse!' a rough voice said. Emily turned to the man in shock. She'd heard all the advice about what to do when mugged, but hardly able to believe what was happening, she forgot the lot and said,
'What?'
'Your purse! You deaf lady?' The mugger demanded, showing her a knife and laying a hand on her handbag. She gave out a short scream at the sight of the blade. 'Can it - ' he snarled but out of nowhere, he was grabbed and the knife fell to the ground with a clatter.
'This is a citizen's arrest,' Joey said as the mugger struggled in his grasp.
'You what?' the mugger exclaimed, as he was borne to the ground. Joey finally got the mugger's arm behind his back.
'Someone call the police,' Joey ordered, and a passerby began doing so.
'Hey, I got rights!' the mugger protested, but Joey pushed his face into the sidewalk.
'You can tell that to the cops.'
Once the police had been and gone, Emily said to Joey,
'You were wonderful! I don't know how I can thank you,'
'Oh,' Joey said, 'There's no need to do that. It was nothing.' It wasn't every day that he got to be a hero in real life. It was better than any script he'd had to follow, and the beauty of it was that he'd not had to think twice, he'd just done it.
'Oh no it wasn't nothing,' Emily said, 'He could have cut me with the knife.'
'He was probably just trying to scare you,' Joey said reassuringly.
'I don't know. I just froze. Thank goodness you were there, that's all,' Emily said, and Joey almost blushed.
'It's okay.'
'And I know you don't like me at all, which makes it all the more…'
'No,' Joey said shocked, suddenly feeling bad at being called out on his attitude by the object of it. It was far easier to resent someone in the abstract, when you didn't have to interact with them, especially when you hadn't done something really major for them, like rescued them from a crime. Looking at her now, relieved to be rescued, he found it hard to accuse her, even in his mind, of secretly plotting something against them. Could she have been pretending to be nice? Had she fooled absolutely everyone? Or was he the one who had got it wrong? He felt embarrassed when Emily said,
'I know.'
'No, I meant I don't don't like you,' Joey said and then frowned. The beautiful flow of language and actions seemed to have stopped. 'I mean, you're okay and you're my friend's wife and any wife of his is a wife - a friend of mine. I mean Carol's okay and she's not even Ross's wife any more. We even get on with Susan.' Emily was looking at him puzzled, and he realised how off track he was. 'Anyway, don't worry.'
'Oh.'
'You're shivering, let's get you into Central Perk,' Joey said.
Inside, they started doing ordinary things, like order coffees. Then came a period of intense satisfaction for Joey, because as it happened, each of Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe came in individually so that he was able to recount the episode four times. Chandler, who was the audience for all the versions. couldn't help observing that the story became more involved at each telling.
It was as he was getting Emily to re-enact her own role and Chandler to enact the role of the mugger, using a paper tube of sugar in place of the knife for Phoebe's benefit, when Ross came in. All he saw was Emily standing in front of Chandler who was fighting off Joey. Chandler had objected to giving in so weakly, and Joey was a little annoyed at this unhelpful improvisation. Ross dived into the fray and wrenched Joey away from Chandler, ready to sock him in the face. He was startled to hear a united protest of,
'No!' not least from his own wife. He was also surprised to hear a round of applause from the denizens of Central Perk.
'Best version yet!' someone called out.
'I don't know,' said another voice, 'I liked the previous version better.'
'What?' Ross said, looking at them all.
'It's not what you think,' Joey said.
'No, we're only pretending,' Emily said.
'Let Joey go,' Chandler said, and to Joey's relief Ross did. Not that he couldn't take on Ross at any time, if he wanted, but there was no doubt that on occasion Ross could be single minded.
'Sit down,' Monica said, and they all gathered around.
'Okay, will someone tell me what's going on? Emily?' With an apologetic look at Joey, who had been enjoying himself so much, Emily told the story succinctly, highlighting the knife and Joey's action.
'And the police have got him now?' Ross said, once he'd calmed down.
'Yes, thanks to Joey.'
'Well thanks,' Ross said, 'Thanks for rescuing Emily, I appreciate it man.'
'We all appreciate it,' Monica said.