Madison drove on and the streetlights became sparsely placed on the sides of the back road she was on. The road seemed to wind directly in the mountains, and it was so long, at times it seemed as though it stretched to the starlit sky above. But Madison knew better. She pulled her car off of the road, easing it down a well-beaten path in the dirt. The trees rolled past, so thick and dense that no star could shine its way into Madison's car.

Finally, Madison pulled the car to a stop, and turned it off. She left the key in the ignition so that the dashboard lights were still glowing softly. They were the only illumination available to Madison, but it was all she needed. Heaving a deep sigh, as though just getting here took a tremendous weight off her shoulders, Madison leaned the driver's seat back slightly and reached for the whiskey.

She opened the bottle easily, deftly twisting the cap off. With a flick of her wrist, the cap was lost in the back seat. Madison stopped for a second, her eyes unconsciously flickering towards her glove department. She kept a small glass in there, just for occasions like this. She reached for it and paused. Deciding against using the glass, she brought the whiskey bottle up to her lips and took a swig.

The whiskey slid down her throat, burning all the way to her stomach. It began to settle on top of the food that Madison had eaten hours ago, making her feel strange. Without hesitating, Madison took another great drink and cringed as the burning sensation grew. She set the bottle in her lap, leaning against her chest. It was a brand new bottle, and so heavy. Closing her eyes, Madison leaned back in her seat, trying not to think about anything unpleasant. Inevitably, she did.

Madison's thoughts were drawn almost immediately to Ephram, but she quickly distracted herself by taking another drink. This time the whiskey seemed stuck in her throat, choking her, burning her. Madison began to cough violently, and eventually the lump in her throat dissipated, falling into her stomach with the rest of her problems. But, to Madison's dismay, her thoughts still lingered on Ephram.

Ephram Brown was nearly perfect. He was the caring, sensitive guy she'd been dreaming about since she discovered she liked boys. He was tall and handsome, and his eyes were to die for. And the way he put his hands over hers, slid his arms around her shoulders, the way his lips would play with hers during a good-bye kiss… Madison took a swig from the bottle, again trying to distract herself. Her head began to spin, but it still focused heavily on Ephram. When she began to think of how she felt when Ephram would draw her body close to his—so close that no daylight would pass between them, her mind wandered in places she knew it should not go, and finally her underlying frustration surfaced. If only he were older…

Cursing herself as she so often did, Madison began to cry. She felt so helpless, so small, so weak. The booze made her weak, made her helpless, and she knew it. Yet without it, she felt strangely empty, like something vital was missing. It was a cycle she hated repeating, but she always seemed to wind up in the same place, in the same situations, with the same idiot boyfriends.

Madison involuntarily shivered, looking out the window at the forest around her. There were no other cars here, at least, none that she could see, and she was grateful. Pity parties were one of her secret allowances, and she liked to party alone. The trees were dark, creating mysterious shapes as the wind blew. Madison locked her doors before realizing how silly the action was.

Like anyone would come here for you, she reproached herself, drinking out of the bottle again. As she wiped at the stray droplets running down her chin, Madison smiled bitterly to herself. No, no one could be coming after her.

Madison's body was beginning to relax, but her mind was still going at faster paced speeds than she felt prepared to handle. Unbidden, memories arose of the first time Madison had been taken into these woods. She had been young, then, only fourteen. Young and so nervous. Her first boyfriend, her first love, had been Steven Artson. He had been only sixteen and barely that, but they had been dating for almost a year. Madison had absolutely adored him, trusting him completely in all things. That was why when Steven suggested a trip to Everwood's private "Lover's Lane," she did not question him.

She lied to her mother for the first time them, telling her she'd been at Susie Bonebreak's house. Steve had picked her up four blocks from her house and they had driven to the same spot Madison was at now. It had been dark then, too, and Madison had been just as glad. Steven could not see her shake. He stopped the car and waited for Madison to get in the back. After that, all Madison remembered were feelings and sensations she didn't understand… and the very next day, Steve called her and told her he had someone else. Someone older, someone prettier… someone better.

Unconsciously, Madison began to shiver, as if reliving her awful experience. Her clumsy introduction to becoming a "woman," had been horrific; she had never told a soul what went on the back of Steve's '88 Volvo. Usually the whiskey—or gin or vodka, whatever Madison had been able to steal—muted these memories, but tonight was different. Madison was still dwelling over her awful choices and memories, thinking again how her love always seemed to deteriorate. All of her relationships failed, due largely because she could never get close, truly close, to her mate.

Not this time, Madison told herself, her thoughts for once grateful to return to Ephram. It can be different with him. It will be different with him.

The whiskey that had done such a good job numbing her body and senses was now taking over her mind. The bottle was more than half empty now, slipping out of her fingers and onto the floor. The thick liquid spilled onto the floor carpeting, but Madison did nothing. She only watched the dark stain grow, devouring the light color of the interior, spreading until it could spread no more.

Suddenly, the disgust she felt for herself rose in her throat, making her want to purge the whiskey and weakness from her body and mind for good. Her face scrunched up and she bit her lip, trying to stop the tears. They rolled down anyway, warm tears sliding down her flushed cheeks.

Oh my, God, Madison cried silently, the words echoing in her head. She didn't know if God was listening, but if He was, she hoped He would deliver her from this misery. How could I explain this to Ephram? What would he think of me?

"Oh… my… God…" Madison choked, trying to cough and blanche at the same time. Opening the car door, she threw up, the bile hitting the ground with a sickening sound Madison wanted to instantly forget. After Madison closed the door, she shivered. The cold air had been sucked into the car, making it much colder than it had been previously, but Madison decided she didn't mind. She felt so hot, so flush…

Suddenly, Madison could hold her head up no longer. Her neck relaxed and her eyelids slid down. The last thing Madison saw was the dashboard's clock changing to 12:01.

"Good morning to me," she murmured to herself, resisting no longer. She blacked out and slept, dreaming no dreams.