Disclaimer: I own, drum roll please...nada! (that's Spanish for NOTHING!)

Setting: All this occurs after the movie, book, play ends.

Somewhere deep under the Paris opera house, five cellars down to be exact, there was a certain shadowy figure sitting on a plush sofa with a Siamese cat next to him.

Now being the author that I am, I decide to drop on by and say hello.

"Hello!" I yell inches from his ear.

"Yowl" Ayesha yelps and jumps a few feet off the sofa, almost as high as the man sitting next to her.

"Who are you... and how did you get in my lair?", asked the man in evening attire after he finally caught his breath from the moment before.

Keeping my hand at the level of my eyes I explain, "I am the author of this fan fiction and have complete control using my author super powers and my trusty side kick Laptop (insert evil laughter here while cape flowing in the wind even though were 5 cellars below ground)! You may call me Mrs. Phantom if you wish." A strange look came over him. He began to reach for his cape pocket as I continued. "Or just GP will do. I know all about you... Erik" He froze at the use of his name.

He stopped reaching for the lining of his cape pocket and said, "You presume to know me, but I think otherwise. Prove it!" He demanded as he resumed his former position on the sofa with a wave of his hand and smug demeanor about him.

I paused and thought for a moment. What could I tell him to believe me? Ah, I know just the thing! "I know of your love for Christine, and I'm here to help you win her back..." I could tell he was still unconvinced so I brought out the big guns, "... and that you still sleep with this little stuffed toy monkey with cymbals. I wonder how Christine would feel about a grown man who sleeps with, what was his name again? Say it Erik." I held up the old ragged doll (oh wait, sorry "Action Figure" for guys).

"Mr. Fluffels...noooooooo, why?" He collapsed on the floor crawling toward me with his hand outreached to Mr. Fluffels.

"Look I'm not going to hurt him, but now will you listen to me when I say I want to help you? The love lessons are for your own good Erik, and if Christine doesn't come back to you then, well, I guess I will just have to take her place..."

Immediately he stood up and took Mr. Fluffels from me, "When do we start?"

"That's better...I think? Anyway... There are a few things you must learn if you want Christine back. Number one... Erik? Are you listening to me?"

He was hugging the 'Action Figure' tightly whispering in a soothing voice, "Well never be parted again Mr. Fluffels, never."

I make an extremely loud coughing noise and he turns around with nothing in his hand as if it was all in my head, except I see a paw with a cymbal sticking out of his midnight colored cape.

"Rrrriiiight...As I was saying, Number one, a woman likes a man who can dance. That is why I brought over this incredible thing called a TV." (My Fic people, anything can happen if you close your eyes and just believe or click you heals or something like that) I turned it on to MTV. Erik was impressed by this box that held tiny people. I explained how it worked after his hand was sore from trying to reach into the TV and touch the things in the screen, OK I'll admit it I waited a while after his had was sore to explain to him, come on it was funny! Anyway... "So this is MTV and your new best friend. Let's see what video is on and I want you to copy how they are dancing. Got it? Good." Shakira came on. Figures, but I thought hey, what the heck and decided to have a little fun again. " OK, let's get started!" An evil grin began to overtake me but I was able to hide it very well.

"You want me to do...that?" Her body was twelve places at once. I nodded. He paled. Erik began nonetheless. Slowly his hips began to move, then his stomach followed by his chest and arms. If he had been a woman I would have thought him or her rather to be one of the best belly dancers, but come on let's just take it as it is, a six foot something middle aged man dressed in a tux with a mask. Currently gasping for breath...I'm ok now. Needless to say he didn't appreciate my ROTFLMAO. So I decided to change the channel to VH1. A video came on that he could dance to and not be laughed at by Christine. After a few hours worth of practicing he was able to do all different styles of dance.

"Congratulations Erik, you did well and keep practicing. I think were ready to move on to the next lesson tomorrow."

Wearily he gave me a look but agreed otherwise. I was almost out of earshot when I heard all of a sudden talking and singing, "Come Mr. Fluffels, let me show you my new dances...It's bananas B - A - N - A - N - A - S!"

I roll my eyes and know I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.

I'll try and update this as much as I can, but I need your help. What lesson would you like to see Erik learn? I would like ideas. Review and let me know. -GP