A.N. Rai: Ha! We thought, we've been horrible to all our lovely reviewers, and they deserve another chapter. SO we forced out this 7000-worder in under a day! That's probably why the writing's crap, etc, but still! Enjoy.

Dedicated to: Everyone who encouraged us when we couldn't be bothered.

Man of the Month: Karl Urban for obvious reasons including HE WINKED AT ME!!!! *is tackled by Tali*

"…I've become so numb

I can't feel you there

I've become so tired

So much more aware

I'm becoming this

All I want to do

Is be more like me

And be less like you

And I know

I may end up failing too

But I know

That you were just like me

With someone disappointed in you…"

Linkin Park ~ Numb

Chapter 26: Kindred

It was sometime before midday, that as I sat on the edge of my bed flicking through a book Nólad said I just had to read, a red-eyed Jen came unannounced into my room.

"Have you seen Narin?" She asked in a broken voice. "I can't find her anywhere."

"She said something about taking a ride with a friend, it sounded as if she wouldn't be back for a while..."

"Oh…" She was obviously disappointed.

"Is there anything I can do?" I said somewhat apprehensively. After a moment of deliberation she came in, closing the half-open door behind her and sat beside me on the bed.

"You sure you don't mind?"


"Of course not. Now what is it?"

"My parents…they, uh, finally found out about Cer." I could see the tears rising in her eyes, obviously not for the first time that day.

"I…see. I'm guessing they don't approve."

"No, the thing that makes it worse is that they don't even shout. They just do the understanding, self-pitying thing. It's infuriating. They say they know how I feel, and that they only have my best interests at heart. But if they did, they'd realise that Cer is the best thing that ever happened to me…" There was a moment of silence where she absent-mindedly twirled a golden curl.

"What is it they object to about him?" No answer. "The fact he's only half-elf?"

"No. Thankfully they're not so shallow-minded as to care about that. It's just that other people do." She daintily blew her nose into a patterned handkerchief she'd taken out from somewhere on her person. "They say that if I did marry him, wherever we went there'd always be some sort of prejudice against us. Even our children. When people find out about us, they'll see me differently. I've seen them sometimes when I'm with him. People just…they look at him as if he's some thing. It's not always that obvious, but it's still there. And my parents…they say they don't want to see that happen to me. They couldn't bear it. Even though everything's true, even though I know they're right, it doesn't matter. I love Cer, I don't know what I'd do without him. The fact that they can't see it. How happy he makes me. It hurts."

"Have you told Cer about all of this?"


"No, not yet. I know him. And in the end he'd probably confront them about it. His father's gone away for a while, and without his backing, it would only make things more complicated."

"I know you might hate me for this." 'Best way to start any piece of advice…' "But it does sound as if they really just don't want you to get hurt. I know if I was in their shoes, I'd think of it that it's bad enough my little girl's all grown up with a guy that's going to take her away forever, but he's going to bring unnecessary hardship into her life. I don't want to see that happen. They must feel that this is the only way they can protect you."

"I know, and…I do understand all their worries, every fear." Fresh tears welled up in her eyes and slid slowly down her flawless cheeks. "I love them so much…and hurting them is the last thing I'd want to do. But I couldn't begin to think of life without Cer. Because…I know in the end it wouldn't be worth living…" Her shoulders shook with the effort of keeping back the torrent behind her eyes. I felt more than awkward. It wasn't that I didn't have sympathy for Jen, it was just that I'd never had much experience with this kind of thing. Trees generally didn't have these kind of emotional issues. Cautiously I placed a hand on her quivering arm, entirely unprepared for her throwing her head on my shoulder. I struggled to breathe in a mass of strawberry blonde curls as my arm worked unsteadily around her slim frame.

"Do they just outright object to you and Cer…?" The question hung in the air for a while before she sniffled and answered in a feeble voice.

"No. They don't forbid me from seeing him." She let out a shaky breath.

"So then what's wrong?" I regretted it as soon as it came out. I had momentarily ignored tact and gave way to cruel, insidious logic.

"It's just that…" She wiped at her eyes furiously with her sleeve. "They make it sound as if it's my fault that I've gone off and been corrupted, and I have no right to be angry at them for saying what they did because they're always right. They wouldn't punish me if I carried on, they said, just be really, really disappointed." She seemed to draw comfort from my arm remaining where it was, so I made no attempt to move it. "Not that it would make any difference. They were always disappointed in me. Nólad the scholar, Celoril the warrior. And Genévieve the what? A pretty face is my only asset. The very least I could do was marry myself off to a great Lord or some other trite horseshit like that. Just like my mother did." I was momentarily shocked.

"Did they tell you that?" She shook her head, sniffling and seeming to regain some of her composure.

"They wouldn't. But I can always see it. When the truth about Cer and I was discovered, I wasn't ashamed to tell them everything. And I could see it as they listened. In their eyes, the disappointment showed as I told them how long it had gone on for, and that I loved him. I wasn't ashamed, and I told them so. But if I wasn't ashamed of the relationship, why didn't I tell them sooner, they asked?"

"Because you were afraid they'd react exactly as they did." I finished for her, finally empathising.

"I love them too much to deliberately upset them. But I love Cer too much to let him go." She looked up to meet my gaze, her hazel eyes glimmering with tears and strangely beautiful in their sadness. "I don't know what to do…" Was it a question? If so, I really hoped it was rhetorical. Based on my life, I was not the right person to take advice from.

~*~

I breathed in heavily in the morning air. It was filled with the scent of lilies and the dew that still clung to the grass in this early hour. The sun barely peaked over the tree tops as we stood in an open clearing in the palaces ample gardens. It was so peaceful. Nothing but the feel of the wind at my cheek and sound of the pebbles below our feet shifting as we moved in unison. I soundlessly copied his movements, slow and deliberate as they were. They were designed to stretch the body and ease the mind. Rather then tire or overtly strengthen muscles. It was not the first time I had partaken in this exercise, Ralæme Célor had been quite widely practised at a time but had fallen into neglect.

It had come as a surprise to then find that Firowen was one of its faithful practitioners. Though, he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Some of the vital assumptions I'd made about him were rapidly being disproved. It was scary to think, but he seemed to have a solemn side. We once again moved from the position we'd been holding for the last few seconds. My movements shadowed his as he placed his feet apart but in such a way so that he seamlessly changed from one pose into another. His hands moved together until once again they were locked into position. There they stayed for what seemed a welcome eternity until once again we changed.

"So, what's this one called?" I pestered him, having had my fill of silence.

"The preying eagle." He replied coolly. I sniggered but still managed not to break form. I could see his smirk from out of the corner of my eye. "Well, just be glad I'm not planing on doing the mating Oliphaunt." That was it for me. I was down on the floor within seconds and the roar of laughter racked my body. "Or the birthing Mûmakil."

"No, no please." I put up a hand in protest. "Enough." He chuckled, grabbed my wildly failing wrist and had me back on my feet before I knew what was what. "Who the hell named these things?"

"Most likely the person who developed the technique. You do have to give him a hand for his twisted sense of humour."

"Do you think he got first hand experience?" I smirked.

"Let's hope not. Have you ever seen an Oliphaunt's-"

"-Aghh! I'm not listening!" I screamed a shoved my palms over my ears.

"Apparently they can get to twenty feet-"

"Stop right there!" I reprimanded him. "You and your thoroughly filthy mind can go somewhere else if you're going to carry on like this."

"Sorry, mistress…" He sighed. "Shall we continue?"

"No, I think you've ruined Ralæme Célor for me."

"Well you did ask, as I recall."

"I suppose, but I will never again see it in the same light."

"Then what is it you wish to do, mistress.?"

"It's getting early, we'd better be off."

"As you wish, mistress."

"And you can stop calling me that unless you'd like your little-"

"Alright, I get the idea."

~*~

It was a sickeningly humorous aspect of what was by all rights an unfunny situation. She-man had just plummeted the twenty feet into freezing cold water. There were some things you just really didn't want to see. One of them being the resident hedgehogs under each of her armpits. Humans were so grotesque. It was if she was purposely trying to make her fall as ungraceful as possible, her arms flailing wildly and her legs high in the air as she belly flopped into the lake. To top it off, a guttural screech echoed about the arena. There was an obvious snicker from the crowd. I cackled as the only other woman competitor left was most certainly eliminated from the tournament.

I was next. The groups had been merged together since the last event, and now the names were drawn randomly to dictate the order. The event now was certainly more of a challenge than before. A road of poles was positioned above a lake, each different size and height, from mere inches to five or so feet, the distance between each differing as well. And out of these were those with bright red painted tops. And it was only these that we could touch. Any contact with the others and a penalty of five points would be issued. If you fell off, you were effectively disqualified. Neither could you backtrack. And of course, the faster you crossed, the more points you attained. Firowen had attempted it earlier and managed a decent time, but nothing record-breaking by my own, very special standards. Legolas would probably come first if it wasn't my turn next. I was cocky, oh yes, but I had all the right reasons to be. I was good at this. I always had been. Compared with the treetops of Fangorn, these were like toothpicks. I'd show that straw-haired, Dwarf-befriending, superficial fuckwit Prince.

I strode forward, oozing confidence out of every pore. I ascended the ladder, and was acutely aware of the cheers rising up about the audience as I reached the top. I looked around. They were cheering me on. I felt something warm and fuzzy encapsulate me and gave an uncertain wave as I mentally told the something to sod off. My eyes flitted over the royal box and I caught sight of the aforementioned prince and his sire.

~*~ Interlude ~*~

She paused to look at the throng of adoring fans. I saw the barest hint of a smile cross her face. Her frosty hair was held back loosely in a thong of leather, so a few tendrils framed her face. She wore her trademark outfit, which was still scandalous, although most had got used to the expanse of skin it revealed. She raised her arm to wave to the ecstatic crowd, flashing a two inch thick line of tanned skin down her side. The criss-crossed fastenings did little to hide what shame she had, if any. I found myself grinning.

"Ah, the infamous lady Yunalesca." My father said to my left, his gaze not lifting from the figure in black who was speedily assessing the course.

"It would seem so, Adar." He chuckled.


"And it would also seem that she is matching your performance for the first time in how many years, my son?"


"Quite a few, Adar," I smiled.

"Can't shoot for shit, though." He said it in so solemn a tone that I wasn't sure he'd even said it, until I saw the faint crinkle at the corners of his eyes.

"Perhaps. But she makes up for it in other ways." An eyebrow shot up on his part as he turned his head.

"Really? Enlighten me." There was a twinkle in his eye.

"Adar!" He gave a short bark of laughter.

"'Tis naught but a joke, my son. Now come, let us watch what is sure to be a performance if what you say is true." The crowd had the same idea, it seemed, for the stadium had gone deathly quiet, and there was no conversation that existed above a whisper.

Then, to my utter surprise, she began to walk across the poles as if there was no challenge whatsoever to be held in the event. What little noise there was ceased immediately in favour of the spectacle. The first few were designed to be easy, though, the height only differentiating by a foot or so. The only thing required was balance, and that did not seem to be a problem.

Then came the start of the real course. There were two paths to take from here that intertwined at a few points. There was the one that every competitor so far had taken, and then there was the one she took. There was one pole, just under a metre away and five foot higher than the one she stood on currently. As she stood for a second's flash of thought, I could almost hear her brain calculating every possible move, direction and route to take. The silent arena seemed to quieten further still as she jumped.

Her fingertips, dusted with chalk, gripped the pole's flat top, and I heard a sigh of relief unanimously breathed. She hauled herself up, her legs moving apart slowly, agonisingly controlled to form a perfect split before bringing her body upright in a dead straight handstand. The entire stadium held its breath. She flipped down onto the next pole, eight feet below, and again to the next another four feet down, before stylising a cartwheel so she ended up ten feet above the water. There was a reason why none took that route. The only other pole she could go to was twelve feet higher. But I saw her line of sight flit over another a good three metres away, this was only two feet higher. She made a split-second decision, and proceeded to lunge forward, flipping to the side, stepping off the unreachable pole and using the momentum to propel her to the next. She had made it. I felt my jaw slowly pry itself open but was too fixated on the perfectly controlled movements of her lithe body to acknowledge it fully.

There was one left. The route she took tripled the difficulty, but halved her time. She was on the final pole, but there was one problem. She was in a handstand, and there was barely enough room to keep herself steady on her hands, let alone try and put her feet down. She couldn't even see the bell. The large bell at the end of the course signalled the moment it ends and the time is recorded. She needed to ring it to finish. I saw her legs curl down so the tips of her feet almost touched her shoulders. Her head bent upwards to catch a glimpse and I saw a grin form itself on her face for the moment before she hurled her legs over her head and drew a joint exclamation from the crowd.

In one fluent movement, her foot came into definite contact with the bell, and her body did a somersault in mid-air before executing a perfect dive into the clear water. There was a gasp from the crowd, and I heard a few hisses of 'she's disqualified!' But she wasn't, and she must have known it. The second the sound of the bell is heard, the round is over, so no matter what she did it would not affect her final count of points. Which was, I reflected, likely to be in the upper region of the scoreboard. She broke the surface and I felt the intake of breath more than I heard the actual cheer that exploded from the grandstands. She strolled out of the lake as if she wasn't, in fact, dripping wet and still had her hair secured in the bun. She grinned at the crowd and gave an uncertain wave as she passed by. To leave, she had to pass directly by where we were sat and out of the corner of my eyes I could see my father surveying her.

"Strange. This event is something of a tradition, and yet no one has taken that route since the second age." He said suddenly. My brow furrowed.

"And who was that?" He smiled slightly.

"Me." He answered, and before I had a chance to formulate a reply he was clapping with the rest of the arena. No one really paid much attention to the poor soul that was climbing up the ladder asking the Valar why he had to follow that particular competitor.

~*~ End Interlude ~*~

Firowen was lazily leaning against the royal seats as I passed. He seemed to wage a war between sanity and the Dirty Old Man routine. Sanity lost.

"Must be a cold day, hmm?" He said, his gaze flickering down to my chest. I couldn't really blame him. The water made the fabric cling to my skin in a most unbecoming fashion. And it was a little cold…

But it could not go unpunished nonetheless. My hair was out, it was wet, and it reached the end of my tunic. I whipped it around like someone trying to be casual as I passed. It was as effective as a slap, but without the directness. I heard someone laugh from the royal box, but did not check whom, as they were probably the recipients of flying droplets of lake water.

"Dreadfully sorry." I said, my voice as deadpan as I could make it as I sauntered out.

~*~

It was sunset, the silver moon blended in with the still light sky as I watched the two spar, weaponless. A horde of pubescent girls had flocked to the scene. Surely the Prince of Mirkwood and the dreamy Wood Captain's son training was not something to be missed, especially at this crucial stage in the tournament. There were random shrieks and squeals of delight through the general hub of noise. Quite a crowd of fans had gathered around the outdoor training grounds, which were open to public viewing during the competition. I could do better. The two of them were just sparring, not even trying to do any damage to the other. Where was the sadistic fun in that? I got up from my crouched position in the doorway and entered the square of cleared land. They stopped and turned to me as I walked towards them. A few calls went up from the spectators.

"Nice of you to join us." Came Legolas' voice.

"Just had to change clothes, then? What a shame." Firowen shook his head sorrowfully. I had indeed changed my wet clothes into a loose beige tunic and brown three-quarter leggings. I Looked™ at him.

"Oliphaunt." Came the one-word scolding. He lowered his head and muttered an apology.

"What's this?" Legolas asked, seemingly confused.

"Nothing." Firowen and I said at the same time.

"Just…ah…" Firowen grasped.

"A joke…" I finished. "Nothing more."

"Nothing less, don't you mean?" Firowen said below a whisper, obvious amusement in his tone. I elbowed him in the ribs as politely as I could.

"Don't mind him, poor boy's probably too tired from the day's event."

"Whatever you say, mistress." He coughed, bent double.

"If you don't shut up I will have to do more than light nudge."

"Is that a promise?"

"It's a certainty."

"Than I suppose I have to do whatever mistress says."

"That's it, you're bloody dead." I lunged at him but he managed to move before I could embed my arm in his back.

"Touchy, touchy." He said, waving a finger in my direction. "It's not ladylike to try and beat up your dear servant."

"I'll fucking show you ladylike." I replied a moment before attempting to slam my leg into his own two. I could give that to the little blighter, he was quick on his feet. He moved faster than I could keep up with, but the question was how long could he keep it up?

"Now, now." The elf once again narrowly missed one of my blows. "Why so rash, mistress? Can't we talk it over?"

"Just shut up and stand still will you?" My strikes were getting closer and harder to dodge. Still, he escaped my advances like the energiser bunny on acid. "Well, if you won't stay put at least fight back." I said, almost breathlessly. He stopped quite suddenly only a few feet away from me.

"Alright." He caught my rapidly approaching fist in the palm of his hand but, like so many, was unprepared for a kneeing to his now undefended ribs. I hit home hard and once again he was left bent double.

"HA!" I spat triumphantly. Legolas stood at the sidelines seemingly stunned by it all.

"Was all that really necessary?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Can't say I didn't warn him."

"Look out." Came the voice of the fallen just before a sweeping kick almost knocked me off my feet had I not jumped back. "And again." Firowen said in possibly the most condescending tone possible as he fought back. I hated defending. I was good at it, but it always made others think I was losing. As I blocked blow after blow from the unusually strong and ferocious Firowen, I was increasingly aware of Legolas laughing as he watched the display. The diversion of my concentration for a fraction of a second allowed a hit to knock me off balance and I fell backwards, just catching myself from the impact with the earth by landing in a strange sort of crab position. "Forgive me, mistress." I kicked him in the shin, and grinned to see it had the desired effect. Legolas bent down to help me up. But he was laughing before, wasn't he? Surely that couldn't go unnoticed. As soon as I was on my feet enough to have good footing, I gripped his offered hand tighter and turned, hauling the Prince over my shoulder and onto the ground.

I heard a few whoops from the assembled crowd, whom I waved to uncertainly. There was a group, no more than six or seven, at the front of the line. They were signalling for me to come over to them. By signalling, of course this included gyrating ones hand psychotically in the air and screeching my name. I approached apprehensively, fully aware of the two men I left on their backs behind me. Most of them looked as if they'd only just come of age, there were one or two boys, though mostly girls were present. This was my first encounter with some of what Valandil had called my 'fans'. This was something of a foreign prospect to me, but if they had come out to see me, then common sense dictated that it was only right I at least talked to them.

"Oh lady Yunalesca, we always watch you in the events, and you're always winning them and we really, really hope you win the final as well!" Exclaimed a young girl.

"Uh…thanks. And…call me Yuna." A few of them squealed. I would have taken a step back had not I remembered my manners.

"Where are you from? Really? Because we've heard so many rumours that we don't know what to believe, so could you tell us so we can tell people the truth?" Said a particularly enthusiastic one.


"I'm from Fangorn. Do any of you know where that is?" There was a thoughtful silence. It was doubtful, I reflected, that any of them had passed outside the borders of their own wood. "The Misty Mountains? It's right at the South end of those. Entwood?" There was a general chorus of 'oh's as they looked at each other for confirmation. "So, why are you all out here? It's not an event or anything, just that bimbo prince of yours and his pervy friend sparring." They gasped, no doubt at my casual reference to their crown Prince.

"We came to watch you fight, Lady Yuna." They said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.


"But…why would anyone want to watch me fight? It's not like I'm anything special, most others just happen not to be very good."

"What you did today was amazing." Said the expressive one. "Everyone was so silent when you did those flippy things and competed the course faster than the Prince! Even the King was impressed, I could see him from where I was!"


"She had really good seats." Said one next to her.

"Really good seats. Right at the front." She echoed.

"Listen." I addressed her. "Is there someone called Valandil with you?" She nodded exuberantly.


"That's my brother! He really likes you!" I raised an eyebrow.

"That's…nice…" I was sorry I'd asked.

~*~

It was some time after I'd disentangled myself from the youths that I was making my way back to my room. I paused. The door was ajar. Inside the room, only the barest slivers of light filtered through the curtains, but it was enough to make out a shape in the darkness. It was a person, and either their back was turned or they didn't think I'd seen them. Who were they and what were they doing in my room? And what were they holding? A knife? Too long, a sword perhaps? Or maybe…no, no one would be that stupid to…oh Valar.


"Who the hell are you and what do you think you're doing in here!" I said in the most frightening voice I could muster. It worked, the figure screamed and whirled around, giving me a flash of his face in the moonlight. Aldaríon. Not taking my eyes off him, I reached out the door for a candelabra to see better. There he was, still recovering from the shock, mouth agape, posture rigid, and with Luccrecía still firmly in his hand. "What are you doing with that?" I demanded, looming over him.

"N-Nothing!" He stammered, glancing down at it.

"Give it to me." He did, as quickly as he could manage. "Why are you in here?"

"I-I-I-I-I don't…don't um…I…Hey! Wait, I'm the Prince! This is my palace and I should be able to go wherever I please!" He said triumphantly. I took a step forward and noted with some satisfaction that he took a step back.

"Shut up, child. Tell me why you saw fit to enter my chambers and rifle through my belongings like a common thief. I'd hate to have to inform your father of this little incident." I glared at him through hooded eyes.

"I don't know! I-I-I was…um…bored, okay? There's not much to do around here anyway if you're not in the tournament."

"So you thought it would be a good idea to come in here and handle things you know nought about?"

"It's just a sword." He said somewhat defiantly. I leaned in closer, narrowing my eyes to slits.

"And 'I'm going to kill you' is just a sentence."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I saw it when you first came here and I just wanted a closer look."

"Well?" I was so good at making people squirm. It wasn't necessarily an attribute held in high regard by most people, but it sure was fun.

"It's…um…pretty."

"Pretty?" I exclaimed, feeling the energy flood through my arm and into the blade, the chevrons separating through the sheer force of the owner's will. He gasped. "I'll have you know this thing is a little more than just pretty, boy."

"Well…um…what is it then?" I blinked.

"What?"

"If it's not pretty…what is it?"

"You…ah…oh, just shush . It's a damn nice sword is what it is. And not something that I want your grubby little fingers all over." The blade started to close, once again becoming whole. "Let's see what damage you've done to her."

"Damage!" He exclaimed disgusted. "I've done no damage."

"I'll be the judge of that, child."

"I'm no child." He said through gritted teeth. It was nice to see myself regaining some ground. "I'll let you know I've handled swords before."

"Oh really, and who exactly would let a horrid little child like you play around with their weapons."

"My brother, that's who."

"Some how I doubt Legolas would let you fiddle with any of his arms." He looked down and shrugged.

"Maybe not now, but he used to." He plopped himself down on the bed, he made it obvious he wasn't planning on leaving any time soon.

"Oh, what do you mean 'used to'." I sighed and sat next to the munchkin.

"He wasn't always so busy, before the war started and those dwarves came here we used to do everything together." He blew out his cheeks and studied the tiled floor. "I wasn't even old enough to train with anything but a wooden sword. He…he used to let me use his sometimes, but only with his guidance."

"Why not any more? Things have quietened down, doesn't he have enough time anymore?"

"Things have changed. Legolas is going to become king when Ada passes over the sea to join Naneth." He swallowed quietly. "I really miss her." There was a moment of silence. "He has too many responsibilities to care for me anymore." 'I was becoming the palace agony aunt. What did these people want from me? I could hardly deal with my own feelings as it was."

"Well, why don't you just tell him that you want to spend more time with him?"

"I tried, but he says that I have to find my own friends and that he can't always be there for me like he used to. But I hate all the children here in the palace. They're all such snobs." I chuckled. "And everyone in the city is so polite, they just don't really want anything to do with me as soon as they find out I'm the Prince. And the girls are even worse. There are some five times my age that keep throwing themselves at me. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't already know they're only after me because Legolas is taken." It was hard, so hard to keep the smirk off my face.

"Well, how about this, I'll talk to Legolas about it."

"No, then he'll know I'm just dumb and weak." Another sigh. "I so much want to be like him. Father loves him so much and everybody respects him for being such an amazing fighter. I'm just his little brother, nobody cares."

"I'm sure that's not entirely true." I apprehensively placed an arm around his minuscule shoulders. "I'll have you know that Legolas is not that good a fighter, come on, he got beaten by a girl just today."

"And Yuna's beaten him too." Stated Firowen walking in, nodding his head empathetically.

"No 'mistress'?"

"That's what I've come to talk to you about." 'Oh god, not another one.'

"Alright, Aldaríon, what says you bugger off for a while?"

"Let me and Auntie Yuna talk about our relationship issues." The child looked confused.

"But I thought you liked my sister."

"Get out!" He said in an outrage that was not entirely faked.

"Go on, we'll talk more later." I pushed him lightly off the bed and he wandered out the door.

"Bye, Yunie." He turned and winked before hurrying down the corridor.

"That little rat!" I breathed.

"Oh, you can't blame him. He likes older women."

"What do you want?"

"Just some advice." 'definitely turning into an agony aunt.'

"Why me?"

"Well, I can't talk to Narin without said advice, Jen's already in a bit of a state, and other than them, you're the only woman I know who I know will give me good advice and has less of a chance of telling everyone you know."

"Spit it out."


"It's about Narin."


"I got that." He threw a hand in the air."

"How does everybody know?"


"Um…because you couldn't make it any more obvious if you shouted it from the treetops?" He sighed.

"Then why is she avoiding me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Every time I look at her, she looks away. Every time I try to talk to her, she goes quiet and answers in one or two words." This was pathetic. Didn't these people know anything? I'd never even liked someone before in that way, and yet here I was giving him advice on his no doubt complicated love life. I also had a feeling it might take a while.

~*~

I yawned expansively. For once in my life I'd talked with someone until the early hours about something other than war tactics. But then, in a sense, that's what it was. A war. Feelings, emotions, we all had to battle them. Sometimes we won and got to keep the best part of our sanity. Sometimes we lost and then we ended up as fools. But in the end, it was all about diplomacy and the protection of your interests…and your heart.

But now I stood along with the other thirty or so competitors leaning against the fence of a large ring. There were two gates that opened into it. One quite small, obviously only intended for a single person. Another at the other end was quite large and looked big enough to let in several horses or other animals of that kind, at a time. There were many speculations as to what the event was to be but now that we were standing there it was obvious that few had a clue as to what it actually was. The first name was called and a rather short figure with a mass of ginger dreadlocks stepped foreword. I'd noticed him in two other events. The two that used poles and speed. He was spectacular on his feet and besides Legolas had almost beaten my time on both occasions, but not quite.

He stepped in through the gate, head held high . It was apparent he was trying to prepare himself for whatever might enter through the gate at the other end. After a couple moments wait I could make out a crowd advancing on the stadium. There was a wide path cordoned off for them which they made ample use of. The larger gate was opened and an announcer came through at the head of them.

"The event is called 'Knock Down'." He stated clearly. "These men will come at you and will try to hold you down for ten seconds. You're task is to stay on your feet for as long as you are able. The longer you do this the more points you will get." He paused for a moment. "It might also be a wise idea to try and take down as many of your opponents as possible. There are only ten of them allowed in the ring at one time but as long as those who are incapacitated can brought out, more can enter." He smiled slightly. "Have fun." And walked out.

The young man in the arena looked at his seventy or so opponents and sighed. Among them I could make out Cer, Nólad and also Celoril cracking their knuckles. So this was what I'd be up against. I raised an eyebrow. So be it.

~*~

"Cer! If you don't get off me this fucking second I will kick you right there! And you know I will, so I suggest if you want children you--"

"Hold down her legs!" He shouted, unable to hold back the grin.


"Oh no you don't!" I screamed, kicking the unfortunate in the face as he approached my legs. Using all my strength, I headbutted Cer's chin and threw him off me as the counter reached nine. I forced myself on my feet and gave the evilest look I could muster to the oncoming force. "Haven't had enough yet, ladies?" I yelled.

"Yuna, please, there are children present." It was Celoril. The little sneak had come up behind me and had me in a beginner's hold. With a growl I brought my knee up and flung myself backwards, so it connected with his jaw. He let go, obviously, and I yelled a savage cry as seven tackled me to the ground. Five seconds later, Cer was holding down my legs, Nólad and Celoril had each of my arms, and the remainder were either sat on me or spread around to compensate for any limbs not subdued. My head was free, and I jerked it around wildly, screaming at the top of my lungs random atrocities. I felt a hand clap over my mouth. I bit it. The owner shouted and let go. I began yelling random numbers to make the referee loose count. I could feel him glaring at me.

"Ten! The round is over!" He said finally. The assistants leapt off of me as soon as was humanly possible, leaving Nólad, Celoril and Cer grinning down at me. The twins offered me a hand each, and I let myself be hauled up. I could hear the usually quiet Cer sniggering, and I whipped my head round to glare at him.

"Carry on like that, you won't have grandkids either." I chided. With much effort, he wiped the look off his face. "Just give the same treatment to Legolas, and I'll only hold you partially responsible if I don't come first." He grinned and nodded once.

~*~

Legolas staggered out of the arena. I caught up with him to gloat.

"I swear they were going extra hard on me in this event."

"Probably." I said noncommittally. "Although I don't see why they would." He looked at me slowly, his cool, calculating gaze putting two and two together.

"You!"

"Me?"

"You told them to…to…!" He pointed a finger accusingly.

"Why would I do that? Why would I want to do that? It's not like I'd ever cheat."

"You just want to see me humiliate myself in front of the palace, don't you…"

"In a word, yes. Come on, it's not as if you ever had any chance of seeing me in a dress. Why you'd want to in the first place is beyond me."

"Because I'm curious, alright?" I furrowed my brow.

"About what?"

"Seeing you look like a woman, for once, instead of that She-man that got knocked out yesterday." My mouth hung open.

"What?" I huffed, practically speechless. Was that what I looked like to him? He put his hands up in protest.

"Not…not that you look like that or anything…but...um…"

"You know what? Stop right there. You're going to proclaim your undying love to Firowen and there's nothing you can do about it! One of us has to win this thing, and I'm letting you know now it's not going to be you!" He pouted. "Now sit down and let me fix your braids. You poor thing, they really must have kicked the shit out of you, huh?" He sat down and pouted further still. Like a little elfling, he looked, sat on the grass with his arms crossed defiantly.

"I just wanted to see what you would look like in a dress, alright?"

"For the Valar's sake, why? I'd probably look like Gimli rifling through Arwen's dress-up closet." He didn't laugh, as I'd expected, but merely shook his head. "Hold still!"

"You put yourself down too much." I snorted as I began unravelling his braids, which were in a state of disarray. "You do. You'd look more like the Evenstar than Gimli." I stopped. 'What?' "Less hair, for one." I whacked him about the head and resumed my task with far less care for the Prince's scalp than before.

"I swear, between you and Firowen I just don't know what to do with myself."

"Legolas, there you are! And Yuna, you did such a great job on the event today. I wouldn't be surprised if you won the most points." It was Tengaar, dragging someone behind her. "Oh, this is Hix." The man stepped forward. He was blonde, with light blue eyes and a typical body to match. Figures. "He's my old bodyguard from when I was in East Lórien." I looked him over. He looked like a typical border guard, but there was something different about him. A small part of my mind seemed to recognise him. I rarely looked at the faces of the many guards of Lórien, much less remember them, so I must have met him before or something…

I shrugged it off as nothing more than a coincidence and focussed my concentration on the scene unfolding. Tengaar was putting up the happy façade, Hix was smiling slightly, though his eyes glared daggers at Legolas, and the Prince, for his part, looked genuinely unaware of any awkwardness. He merely offered an arm, and the two of them clasped wrists, although I mentally noticed the iciness with which Hix returned it.

"Hix is competing as well. He's eleventh at the moment." Eleventh? That was pretty good, considering the thirty left were among the best warriors in the kingdom.


"Though hopefully not for long. Maybe I can move up a few spaces in the next event." He said, but it was the air of someone whom feels he has to say something, anything.


"So…um…I think they're about to put up the scoreboard. Want to have a look?" I tied off the first braid and moved on to the second.

"Sure, as soon as I'm finished here. Stupid thing got it all messed up."

"It was your fault." He started.

"Shut up." I scolded, confusion growing as I saw the corners of Hix's mouth curl upwards in the shadow of a smile.

A.N. Love you all. Review! Merry Christmas and an alcohol-fuelled new year!

Reviews (sorry we've been neglecting you!):

Michelle: You rock! Thank you so much for your review, it really, REALLY helped me get the last chapter up. And by the way, thanks a bunch for practically posting up our entire story line! Nah, it's not exactly the same, in fact, it's hardly the same at all, but still. You'll have to wait for a while for the best bits to come, but trust us, they're coming soon…Oh, and by the way, I'm probably doing the same bit of coursework as you. It's evil, and it was in for last Thursday…only I haven't actually given it in yet…ah well. Maths teachers are only put there by the government to crush what little sprit we school kids have under a pile of longwinded coursework.

PepsiBob, Sylvia Viridian, estrella solitaria, Imbored and sweetlegolas: thanks a bunch for your support as always. You guys keep us writing because when you review begging for a new chapter, we feel guilty and start to write it…

Satori Blackthorn: I wouldn't have had the patience to read something like this over a long time. Have a cookie.

MyDomain: Thankies, it's nice to get some articulate comments like that once in a while. I think we've dragged out the whole romance thing as long as physically possible, though…

Iariel: We've made this chapter extra weird and funny just for you ;)

Melia: The human guy will be introduced fully in two chapters' time. (See? We've got it aaaaall planned out!). And the neglected story is called 'the hard way' by lady Mudpie. I think. It was the first Legomance I ever read, and it made me write my first Legomance as well. In retrospect, it's probably crap, but I was young…

PepsiGoddess: Thank you! I thought of that! Stupid Tali…

Lilena:

Nuquarniel: We feel cursing is a large part of Yuna's personality ;)