Disclaimer: me plus POTO equals N-O-T-H-I-N-G! Do I need to spell it out for you? Oh, I don't own Macarena, VH1 or anything else either, get off my back people, yesh! ;)

A/N: I haven't worked on this in forever! I'm so sorry but I've been so busy with "You were with me from the Beginning" that I haven't had a chance to do anything else and kind of needed a mental break. I'm not giving it up. In fact it will be up by later today, so check it out and don't forget to review it too!

Anyway... Wow I received a lot of input for this story. So I'm giving a shout out to people who review my fic and let me know their ideas for it, then creating my chapter based on what you say. This chapter goes along with the suggestions left by Arwythe and Bergerac. Thanks.

The next morning I return to his lair and heard loud music before I even enter his home. It sounded vaguely familiar, then with terror my suspicions were confirmed just what the song was.

"GP! I've been practicing since you left. Look at this new dance I just learned!" To my horror it was the Macarena.

"Erik...NOOOOOOOO!" I ran to the remote and turned of VH1's one hit wonders special.

"Why is this song so bad? It's kinda catchy." He then proceeded to put both hands on his hips, wiggle and turn. I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.

"FOR THE LOVE OF MY REVIEWERS! STOP IT ERIK! JUST STOP!" At this point my eyes were a little bulgy and I began to sweat profusely.

"Control yourself, I've stopped, look ok? Why don't we move on to the next thing you want to teach me." I began to come out of my macarena educed coma and noticed his bewildered look.

Smiling as if nothing happened, I continued, "Right! Let's do that! Ok, first up, ways to be a true gentleman. I have a feeling we'll be referring to this lesson throughout the other lessons, but no matter, let's see just how far we get today! I consulted some opinions of my very trusted reviewers and we all agree that you seem to be lacking a bit in this area."

With an air of arrogance he responded, "Mademoiselle, I wrote the book on how to be a gentleman, observe!" He went to the table and pulled out my chair for me. After I was seated he placed my napkin on my lap, "Watch your hands buddy!" I retorted. He gave me a quick glance and scoffed, then seated himself across from me. He then proceeded to eat with utmost care and etiquette.

"All right, you have that part down. Now let me ask you something. Let's say I'm Christine in my room do you A) spy on me through my mirror or B) choose not to be a creep and don't watch me?"

"I have a hunch the answer is B, but what if she fell and need my assistance or something along those lines, you know she faints a lot?"

"Erik, she's not 80 and in need of a 'I've fallen and I can't get up' bracelet, ok? Look it just comes off a bit, how can I put this... Like a middle aged man living in his parents basement with lot's of comic books and star trek character cutouts as his only friends. So basically a weirdo. Get it? Good. Next, let's say you wanted to bring her here, what do you do?"

"Sing her an enchanting melody, then whisk her away in my arms... Then I would ask her to put on the wedding dress and marry me. She would and we would live happily ever after and have fifty seven children." A dreamy look came over his features and he kinda dare I say, drooled a bit.

"Ooooooookay? Um.. that's great Erik, but let's take this one step at a time. I think you have to first at least have some form of communication before that, like actual conversations without a mirror maybe? While were seated hear let's work on your social skills, you know, like the small talk, engaging her in a conversation and at the same time know how to charm her..."

He leaned closer and took my hand, "I can be very charming..."

Before I became a pile of melted mush in my chair, I quickly shook it off. "Ok Mr. Charming, first question, say your at a party and you wish to make conversation, what do you say?"

"Hello, my name is Erik also known as the Phantom. I'm sorry if I tried to kill you ... So... have you noticed how the price of a Punjab lasso has really gone up lately? I prefer to make them myself. It's better quality and cheaper." A smug look came over his face (well what I could see of it anyway).

"Well... that's a very interesting open line. How about we avoid death as a conversation starter since it tends to make people nervous and stick with something simple like this. Hello, I'm Erik. This port is an excellent choice. Or something to that effect."

Erik looked frustrated at this point, a look that I soon learned would come over him often. "Why must I learn to converse with ballet rats and these pathetic excuses for chorus members? I don't go to parties."

"If you want to have Christine then you must become accustomed to this. Need I remind you of a certain party you did attend and ended up threatening half the people in the room."

"It was only the two managers, Carlotta, Piangi and Raoul, but he shouldn't even count." He began fiddling with his napkin.

I proceeded to pull out a chart labeled '5 rules to a fun party'.

"Ok Erik remember these things and you'll make Christine a happy woman.

Number one Dance Whenever she wants to. I love to dance and so do a lot of women. Do this and you'll be happy too. Number two Attend To Her Needs. Get her punch or help her with her coat."

Number three No Threatening People. A party is not the time to attend to such matters. So don't.

Number four Complements. And LOT'S of them. Her dress, her hair, perfume, jewelry whatever you want. Don't forget the more the better! You'd be surprised just how far flattery will get you, and don't be fake.

And finally the most important of all for you. Number five No Killing. It's just not a great party if someone ends up dead at the end, besides I would classify my date as going really bad if he was knocking off the guests, as would Christine."

"I get the point. I can behave when I want to."

"Then do it." I began to mumble something about men never really growing up.

"What was that?" I knew better than to actually answer him so I blew it off.

"Oh, nothing really."

"Now you see here, I'll prove to you I can do all this with my eyes closed!"

"Go ahead Romeo. I'm ready whenever you are." He stood and motioned me to do the same.

"My dear what a lovely gown your wearing. It doesn't compare though to your natural beauty. If I may have the honor of joining you for dinner tonight?"

"You may." He then led me back to my seat and began conversation.

"What a spectacular performance you gave tonight. I dare say no one could sing the roll of Elissa quite like you. Perhaps if you are not busy later on we can have a lesson and ready you for your next opera roll?" He excused himself from the table, and music began to play. "What a wonderfully enchanting song. Would you care to dance?" We did and he danced wonderfully. "Oh look, it's the Vicomte. Wave hello darling." I couldn't help but notice that he held me slightly tighter when he said that, still imagining me to be Christine. I had to admit however that he was trying.

"Well Erik, I must say that you passed this test."

"Was there any doubt?" I opened my mouth and he quickly covered it. "That was a rhetorical question. What's next?"

"Let's focus on Christine. I'm sure she'd be impressed if you could cook. So we'll work on your skills in the kitchen and exactly how to move the relationship to the next level without frightening the poor girl, and mentioning the fifty seven children you plan on having would do just that. So, were going to do some roll playing now before we begin our cooking class. Here's the set up, you invited Christine for dinner that you will cook and want to express your feelings for her. I'll be Christine and you be... well you. What would you say her?"

A/N: Ok people... I'm going to get to more of your suggestions later and use those to set up our dear Erik's lessons I like The Mouse in the Opera House, Seized Sanity and Haley Macrae's suggestions and will be using one of those next.

What I need to hear from you is what you would 1) think he would say in response to this question and I'll pick from your reviews, and 2) What response I should give to him. Just leave it in your review and let me know, but please no flames. Thanks a bunch - GP