Tali: Man of the month: Jesse Metcalfe for three reasons: 1. He went topless and sweaty in desperate housewives and I almost had a heart attack I was hyper ventilating so much. 2. He wore tights on Punk'd, looked way better than Ashton Kutcher in them and actually played a sucky role vaguely well and 3. He was in a 3DD vid! Good child…exceptionally hot child…drools

Rai: Thank you for that message, Tali ;). Dear devoted readers, after reading over the rest of the fic I'm just swamped by how much I love it, remembering my 13 year old self typing squeeful author's notes, conversations, entire chapters, I didn't realise how much I missed fanfiction, especially this one. Thank you all so much for sticking with us for over 3 years after this thing was started. I intend to throw my all into this fic once more, and expect shitloads of fanart soon. Thanks again. You all rock :D.

"…Do you really think I'm made of stone?
Baby, come on,
That we only love the things we own?
Baby, you're wrong,
Certain things just happen when you make no plans,
And love can really tear you up and it can break you down,
Everything you think you know,

Baby, is wrong…"

Garbage – 'It's All Over But the Crying'

Chapter 32: Contradictions

I couldn't take it. I'd had this song stuck in my head since that morning…or maybe it was last night. More precisely, the song I'd played on Legolas' flute what seemed like an age ago. Just when I'd thought it had finally ended, it came back with a vengeance, louder and more ferocious than before which was surprising because, if anything, it sounded like a lament for the dead.

Aggravated beyond belief, I went search of Nólad and that damned flute. Maybe if I played the tune it would finally leave my consciousness and I could have at least one, infinitesimal moment of peace.

A dirty black storm cloud over my head, I walked the halls, scowling at anyone unlucky enough to get in my path. Maids scattered like flocks of frightened geese fleeing from a fox on my approach, nobles practically hugging the walls till I disappeared. I didn't care. I was on a mission and, in a twisted kind of way, their reactions were entertaining.

I finally found the timid blond in the library, lounging on a chair, an open book in his lap. His eyes were intently focused on the pages. So much so that he didn't notice my arrival.

"Nólad!" I greeted thunderously. Alarmed, he dropped his book, a hand flying to his chest.

"Yuna," He said breathlessly. "You, um, startled me."

"Oh, sorry." I shook my head and the cloud lightened to a dull grey.

"What can I do for you?" He asked retrieving his book from the floor and smoothing the bent pages.

"Do you have that flute that Legolas lent to you? The one you had at the gathering?"

"Afraid not." His forehead crinkled in an apology. "I lent it to Celoril. He said something about serenading Linwëlin. He was even unperturbed by the fact he is a poor musician." He shrugged.

"Great." I mumbled. 'Probably don't want to touch it. Who knows what they could have done after he was finished serenading. Has anyone even done that since the second age? Elves!' "Do you think he's done with it?" I inquired anyway. The song was practically deafening, I could feel it throbbing against my temples.

"He borrowed it a couple of days ago so I'd say so." He nodded slightly. "Last I saw he was in the practise grounds if you'd like to ask."

"When was that?"

"An hour, maybe less." Nólad replied shortly. "Are you okay, Yuna?"

"Huh?" Just then I noticed I was massaging my pounding forehead. I swiftly dropped my hand. "Yeah, I'm fine thanks, just a bit of a headache."

"Alright." He accepted without another word. Eru, why were these people so accepting? It made it harder to lie to them because I knew I was irrevocably destroying the trust they'd placed in me. I smiled weakly.

"Thanks." I said, turning to leave.

"My pleasure." Half way out the door I stopped, finally realising something. He hadn't mentioned anything about Legolas and I. No quips, no smiles, not a word. Granted, mocking was hardly Nólad's style but I'd have thought it would have been on everyone's lips by now. Gossip in the palace travelled faster than an enraged Nazgûl. I couldn't resist asking.

"Nólad." I spun on my heel, a dazzling smile on my lips.

"Hmmm." He barely glanced up from his book.

"You didn't, by any chance, hear a rumour or anything involving Legolas and I, did you?" I ventured. He looked up, confusion plain on his face.

"No, I can't say I have." I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. "Then again, I've been in here most of the day and I'm usually the last to hear things anyway." He didn't sound particularly displeased, he was just relating a fact.

"Oh…" My hopes fell.

"Why? Is it anything I should know about?"

"What? Er, no, no, it's silly really. You'll laugh when you hear it." My tone was cheerless even to my ears.

"What was it?"

"What?"

"The rumour."

"I'm afraid I really should look for Celoril and get that flute." I panicked, hurrying through the library door. Sighing at the close call, I strode down the corridor in the direction of the training grounds.

My mood was little improved by my conversation with Nólad. The volume of the ghastly tune had dissipated somewhat during the exchange yet as soon as I left it returned in full, glorious force. Pounding at grey matter with every note. The scowl became a tight grimace, the dark storm cloud thundering above. Inhabitants of the palace all but fled as I advanced, muttering curses under my breath. I was going to turn into a rampaging monster and this fucking song was going to do it. It already had.

I stopped short of exiting onto the practise grounds. Sparing in the centre against the backdrop of the setting sun was Legolas and Aldaríon. Despite the noise throbbing in my cranium, I couldn't help but smile. He'd taken my advice. The younger prince was actually quite good for an elf of his age. He parried and deflected Legolas' blows with a trained ease. Not that they were particularly challenging. The fact Legolas was holding back greatly was blatant. He still moved with an agile, catlike grace which I admired, but, every time he made a sweep that might have connected with disastrous consequences, he pulled back at the last moment, allowing Aldaríon time to repel it.

"Admiring your special somebody?" A voice perked up behind me. I turned, quickly dragging Celoril into the shadowed corner.

"Legolas is not my special somebody!" I seethed venom. A devilish smile crossed his face.

"Who said I was talking about Legolas?" Rolling my eyes in frustration, I released my grip on the shoulder of his light brown tunic.

"You're about as subtle as Firowen when he's had a few drinks in him." I stated with a growl. "I suppose he told you what happened than."

"Jen, actually, but I doubt that makes a difference." That smug smile was still firmly in place. "So why are you here? I mean other than to ogle your beloved."

"He's not my beloved!" I hissed vehemently, attempting to keep my voice down so that Legolas didn't notice us. He probably couldn't hear over the clack of the wooden practice swords but it was best not to tempt fate. After taking a deep, calming breath, I continued. "Actually, I was looking for you."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed. "Why?"

"I want that flute, the one you borrowed from Nólad." He quirked an eyebrow, the obnoxious smile returning.

"You mean the one he borrowed from Legolas?"

"Yes, the one he borrowed from Legolas." I sighed. Denying it would just lead to further torment. He chuckled slightly but thankfully took the hint to lay off the subject.

"Sure, it's up in my room." He stated. "I'll get it for you and bring it to your room."

"Thanks." I said as he walked off. I turned back to the open air of the practice courts. The two were still intent on flowing through the elaborate dance they followed, one move leading to the next and so forth. I watched them for a while. Well, Legolas really but Aldaríon gained my attention from time to time.

I watched the former because I knew it was probably the last time I'd see him fight. He was skilled, effortlessly so. Grace with a deadly edge. A stupid thought hit me. If he was the last thing I saw before my death, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I let out a mirthless chuckle. I loved fighting with him. We were perfectly matched, that had already been proved. But it was exhilarating nonetheless. He pushed me to my limits and made me beg for more.

Aldaríon reared into my vision and I grinned. A perfect copy of his brother. He'd be heartbreaker, just like Legolas. Maybe Legolas didn't realize he was one but, kissing me when I knew I had to leave, making me want him, need him, it was breaking my heart. I sighed, disgusted with myself as tears stated to brim in my eyes. I wiped them away, turning the way I'd come and heading towards my room.

The flute was on my bed when I entered. Celoril had obviously been and gone. The song still relentlessly rumbled in my head, a pain throbbing behind my eyes. This couldn't be normal. Swiping the thin, cylindrical tube form the bed, I stepped out onto the balcony. The night air swept up the curtains, making them seem like spectres in the dark night. It caressed my cheeks, a horrible reminder of Legolas' feather like touch.

With a shaky sigh, I leant against the banister. His touch would haunt me till the day I died and I drew small comfort in knowing that day wasn't too far off. Taking a deep breath, I stuck the flute between my lips. Wobbly fingers played out the notes that had been lodged in my brain for the entirety of that day. They drifted out, away, into the night.

I supposed, in a way I was lucky. Countless beings had no control of their deaths. They waited, unaware and scared until, one day they met their demise. I knew exactly when it would happen, where, how. I would control my death. I wouldn't end up a monster, leaving a trail of near-enough innocent corpses in my wake till I was finally killed for their own safety. All pride and reputation stripped away by savagery. It wouldn't end like that. I wouldn't let it. I would keep my honour

I was halfway through it. A tune that whispered of phantoms, loved ones lost, lives taken, the unforgiving murdered. I had realized somewhere in the day where I'd learned it. My mother. She used to sing it. Staring to the horizon with grief ridden eyes. Waiting for her lost love. Wasting away because he would never return. I no longer had to be frightened of wasting away. The option no longer existed. I would die never knowing true love. True companionship. Just alone. So this was what the Valar had destined for this hopeless half-elf all along. Perhaps if I'd known from the start, I'd have lived a more vivacious life.

The final note rung out into the empty space beyond the balcony. The song was gone.

A sudden pain seized my head in a vice-like grip. The hand holding the flute scrambled for support and came down hard on the stone of the balcony. I dimly registered the flute falling off the edge, but in my current state this was of very little importance. I crumpled to the floor, digging my fingers into my scalp. Black and white spots danced across my vision as searing, white hot pain stabbed at me. I struggled to breathe, my finger nails digging into my scalp till they drew blood. Eru, what was happening to me?

I bit down hard on my lip to silence a scream that threatened to burst out of my mouth. My flesh crawled, the pain spreading downwards. Scorching, it prickled down my throat, taking the scream with it. Tears streamed a dreadful torrent down my cheeks as the pain sweltered in my chest. I fell forward, barely catching myself before I collided with the floor. Fingernails dug into the soft flesh of my palms as I willed myself not to cry out. Every muscle in my body was quivering; the pain spreading like a disease till it encased my entire body in its tortuous grip.

Sweat beaded on my forehead as I struggled for air. This was it. I was going to die on a damn balcony. Not in honourable combat. Not pining away for my lost love. Just scared and alone. In horrible, gut wrenching agony. Without ever getting to say goodbye.

With those hopeless morbid thoughts swimming in my head, the pain became too much and slowly, everything turned faded to black.

----------------------------------------Interlude (not Legolas)------------------------------------

Slim fingers encircled the fallen piccolo, nestled atop the soil beneath a rosebush. The rescuer's reddish brown eyes scanned the length of it before his head tilted up to see the balcony above. The faintest of smiles tugged at the corner of his mouth, but there was no hint of humour. With a flick of his wrist the flute was on the ground once more, and he continued down the path, jet black hair the only indication of his identity.

-------------------------------------------End Interlude---------------------------------------------

Slicked head to toe in cold, stale sweat, I awoke the next morning. Anor was a sliver on the horizon. Birds chirped away cheerily in the trees, mocking the utter hell I'd been through. I laughed bitterly. No death. Just torture beyond words. My vision was blurry, tears staining my cheeks for the second night in a row. I lay there for a while. Watching the sun as it slowly climbed the horizon, knowing I might not get a second chance.

After a long while, I picked myself off the chilly floor and half stumbled half crawled into the bathroom. My muscles screamed in protest as pulled myself level with the water filled pewter basin. Water sloped out onto the floor as I dunked my head in. It was an icy slap in the face that brought me fully conscious. Gasping, I brought my head out. My reflection was a mess. Dried blood caked half my hair into awkward clumps, running down to my forehead. The rest had turned the clear water in the basin a brilliant crimson. Bloodshot eyes stared back at me. My legs gave way and I plummeted to the floor, my whole body shivering.

"Milady Yuna?" I groaned softly, it was Gem. I didn't want anyone to find me in this sate. Maybe she wouldn't come into the bathroom. "Milady Yuna!" Then again… "What happened?" Her eyes were wide with concern as she quickly knelt down beside me.

"I fell." Not entirely a lie but hardly the truth.

"I'll go get someone." She made to leave.

"Wait." I said, placing an unsteady hand on her small thigh to stay her. "Please don't tell anyone, Gem." I pleaded more desperately than I had at any other point in my life. "I'll be fine. Just please, don't say anything." She looked at me with pained eyes, the Halfling torn between her conscious and my request.

"Alright." She reluctantly consented. "But I'm taking a look at you and then you're taking a bath." I gave the barest hint of a nod. With Gem's aid, I peeled myself off the bathroom floor and tumbled onto my bed. The petite Hobbit was actually quite strong and when I remarked on the fact she mumbled that you bloody well had to be when you were dragging a ton of linens up five flights of stairs. I chuckled hoarsely. "I tell you, those dresses that look all flitty and light on those twigs weigh more than I do." She shook her head. "I need to go fetch some clean water and order a bath. Are you going to be alright by yourself, milady?" I nodded and, after she roughly fixed the covers over my prone form, left.

It took Gem awhile to return and during her absence I worked my muscles into some form of working order. The Halfling bustled through the door, her arms brimming with towels, a pitcher of hot water and any number of servants in her wake. Each dragged steaming pails with them, entering the bathroom to poor them into the large tub. They barely glanced at me huddled under a heap of blankets. Odd, seeing as rumours should be flying about the palace concerning my romantic escapades with a certain prince. Yet none batted an eyelid. Still, I retreated deeper into my makeshift tent till the last one disappeared into the hall.

"Come on, let me get a look at you." Gem ordered, coaxing me out of my toasty shelter. Scrunching her brow, she inspected my head in the only way she knew how. Motherly. Which meant far more pain than was necessary. "If you keep squirming it's only going to hurt more." She cautioned. I sat still, gritting my teeth as she applied a hot cloth to the wounds on my scalp.

"Had a cousin from Loamdown, Camellia, her name was, beautiful girl, she was. Well, at least until she opened her mouth. Dogs howled the moment she spoke, poor dear. Thinking back, listening to the racket they made was a damn sight better than actually hearing her voice. It never quite seemed to find one pitch and stick to it, like an Orcish cabaret, grated every one of your nerves. Anyway," Gem continued to talk at me. "One day she was frolicking, as most shire lasses do, and somehow managed to tumble down a cliff. She wasn't too bright in the head, either, poor dear. When someone finally found her, she was covered in blood and lying so still we thought she might be dead. Good grief, gave me such a shock when her finger twitched and we realised she was just unconscious. But she awoke a while later, and my, how she howled. She may have been my cousin but you couldn't have paid me enough to stay there with her…" She smiled, applying pressure to the lesions with a firm hand. "Dreadfully frightened of hills or such from that point on which puts you in a predicament when you're living in the Shire." Funnily enough, I listened to the end. Gem's stories were long-winded and often had little point to them, but they were comforting in a strange way.

"You ever miss the Shire?" I was still raspy.

"All the time." She stated, wringing the cloth out. "If you've ever visited the Shire you'd know why. It's a beautiful place, but not in the same way as everything here. In the Shire, things are simple, easy, not like all the complicated stuff you've got around here. I love Eryn Lasgalen too, but the Shire will always hold a special place in my heart." For that moment I glimpsed a Gem beyond piles of fluffy, white towels and her merrily whistled tunes. "But I have friends here and besides, I know nothing will have changed when I return. It's just the way we are. In the past decade Arda has been shaken to its core, but I know that the Shire will always be the same." She smiled warmly at me before removing the cloth, now crimson with blood and replacing it with a new one. "Come on, milady. The bath is ready." I hated people helping me with things so simple. If she was anyone else I would have refused her aid, but Gem, despite being around a hundred times my junior, was like the mother I'd lost so many years ago. Her warmth and caring manner was everything about the safe, welcoming place I hadn't had since I was but a child. Not the Entwood, and obviously not here, but somewhere before all this, when I wasn't fighting for my survival and where I had barely a care in the world. And as I sunk into the steaming hot bath, and felt the Hobbit's nimble fingers working on my unpractical length of hair, I closed my eyes and thought of home.

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"Yuna!" I heard Jen's forever overenthusiastic voice ring out through my room and piercing my happy haze of sleep as I awoke to find myself still up to my neck in slightly cooler water and Gem still busying away at my hair. A mass of blonde curls popped around the bathroom door and her expressive eyes lit up as she caught sight of me. "Oh good, you're taking a nice, long bath, that's one less thing for us to take care of before tonight." Panic seized my heart as I caught sight of the white material draped over her arm.

"To...tonight?" I asked hazily, still trying to wake up. I didn't think I liked where this was going.

"Yes, tonight! Remember? Your surprise, secret leaving party. Which isn't really a surprise, but I intend on calling it that anyway, and which is less of a party than it is a small gathering together of friends, but that doesn't matter because either way, I have the perfect thing for you to wear." Alright, I definitely didn't like where this was going. She held up a gown, her head poking out from behind as she beamed at me.

"No." I wore a dress once, but I bled and sweat just so I didn't have to. If you think that just the fact that I'm going away is going to suddenly turn me all feminine and pretty for one night, you're wrong." She sighed expansively.

"Well listen, there's no one here except Gem and I, and I for one won't tell anyone if you just try it on. The second I saw this dress I imagined you in it, and you suited perfectly. If you hate it that much once it's on then fine, I won't push it any further, but please just try it on?" Her expression and voice was so that if I'd refused I would have felt like I'd just beaten a puppy to death using a sack of kittens.

"…Alright. But just trying it on, doesn't mean I'll actually wear the damn thing…" I reasoned as I lifted myself out of the tub, covering what little modesty I had left with a fluffy towel that Gem seemed to pull out of her pocket. The bath had helped to clear my head a lot, and I barely thought of the afternoon's torture as I followed Jen to plan the evening's.

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"I suppose this is the part where you step on my back and pull some invisible laces 'til I can't breathe again?" I asked dryly as she did up the fastenings of the dress.

"No, actually, this dress is entirely devoid of corsetry. So no internal organs being mangled." She smiled as if she were talking about sunshine, flowers and happiness as oppose to the real subject matter. "Now," she started as she smoothed down the skirts and stepped around to face me, a smile spreading over her face as she regarded the garment on me, "go have a look over there and tell me what you really think, and not just what you believe a woman like you should." Apprehensive at Jen's moment of strange normality, I took a step towards the mirror and let myself take in the sight.

The dress was, as she has said, devoid of corsetry, and yet still managed to fit scarily well, considering it certainly looked Elven enough, and it was unlikely that any Elven woman with a figure like mine would be able to afford a dress like this. Part of me wanted to call it a gown instead of a dress, as that was the only word that seemed suitable. It was gorgeous. Even I could see that. The colour was an off-white, almost silver but not dark enough. It set off the darkness of my skin and matched my hair perfectly, for what seemed like the first time making them seem beautiful and natural as oppose to a stark contrast with everyone else. The neckline skimmed my shoulders and plunged at the front, showing a generous amount of cleavage, and yet strangely I felt more like nobility than a harlot. Although in my experience the two professions seemed to blend together quite well sometimes. Tiny pearls were scattered liberally throughout the bodice and along the sleeves which reached down to just before my nails in a large flare. The skirt barely touched the ground, with the smallest of trains behind, the layers of gauze and silky fabric with tiny sparkling stones interwoven creating a stunning effect.

It still didn't seem like me, but then that was probably because the only time I'd ever worn something like this I was convincing myself the entire evening that I hated the whole situation and that I was being forced into it. Now…if just a couple of months, perhaps even just a few weeks ago I'd seen myself I'd have scoffed at the thought, but I could see myself wearing it willingly. Just among good friends, of course, whom I already knew wouldn't laugh at me. Jen wanted to know what I really thought? I'd surprise her.

"It's…it's beautiful. It truly is." I could almost hear her grin widening in satisfaction. Just then a thought came to me. "And it fits. So very well…" I left the question unbidden. She rolled her eyes around to the floor, poking at the stone with a silken slipper.

"Well I might have had a tip from a certain Princess that the outfit you had for the tournament had been a commission from right here in Eryn Lasgalen. And it's possible that I went to the very same shop for your – rather impressive, I have to say – measurements, which may have been passed onto my dressmaker and someone must have given her instructions to alter this dress right here which I could have picked out a while ago in anticipation of thinking up a completely random reason for you wearing it because I knew it would suit you so well…" She looked up and ceased her foot's twisting. "All just speculation, of course" She said before cracking a trademark smile. How devious of her. Though I should probably have expected nothing less from Jen, and I knew she meant it all in my best interest, aside of course from her strange fascination with turning me into a Lady, which I think we both knew would never happen, as she was barely one herself. "You…you do like it, right? Please do not fool me into thinking otherwise if you truly hate it. It is your last night here for the time being, and I'd rather you be happy than have to feel like you were just pleasing me." She fingered the sleeves idly, a wistful smile on her face. I would rather wear my normal clothing, if only for a sense of consistency and comfort, but for this time I thought I'd indulge her. It was, as she said, my last night here, and most likely one of the last times I'd ever see any of these people again. It didn't matter how much I embarrassed myself tonight. I'd be gone by the morning.

"It's beautiful, and I'd be very happy to wear it tonight. I can't let such craftsmanship go unnoticed." I smiled at Jen, who looked at me as if all her Yules had come at once. There was a squealing sound in the back of her throat before she enveloped me in a hug. Who needed corsets when you had overenthusiastic friends?

"And now about your hair…" She said, releasing me and immediately moving on to the aforementioned mop of wet tangles that was slopped haphazardly on the top of my head. Gem appeared from nowhere with a pile of combs, clips, and other instruments of torture. With the release tomorrow would bring in mind, I pushed any pride I had left to the back of my thoughts and resigned myself to sitting still for hours as I was made the closest to 'beautiful' I could ever hope for.

---------------------------------------------Interlude------------------------------------------------

The palace's corridors were lit with torches fixed to brackets along the walls. Moths danced around the flames, circling closer and closer till they burned. My feet didn't make a sound as I paced the corridor outside Yuna's room. Six steps left, six right. Narin had come to my room an hour previously saying that it was my responsibility to bring -or more likely drag- Yuna to the occasion tonight. Apprehensively, I'd consented. Which meant it had taken most of that hour to decide on an outfit Yuna wouldn't make clear she abhorred and the rest working up the courage to knock on her door. In the end I'd chosen a light grey tunic and matching, darker breaches. Why where things never, ever easy?

I stopped in front of the door. This was it, I was going to do it. I had stared down legions of Uruk-Hai, fought in battles of legend, had women falling over themselves to talk with me, and yet at her door I was unsure of myelf. Swallowing slightly, I rapped my knuckles on the hardwood surface.

"Just a minute!" Came the muffled reply. Shaking my head, I chuckled softly. We both had millennia behind us, and yet were still acting like some not of age…wow. My jaw dropped. The door had opened to reveal Yuna in a silvery-white gown. It skimmed each of her voluptuous curves perfectly, exposing surprisingly petite shoulders for all the power they held. The thoroughly ungentlemanly side of me also noticed the bare part of her ample cleavage which only served to accentuate her slim waist and full hips. She was certainly like no elf I'd ever seen, yet nor was she anything close to human as she stood before me. Her tanned skin glowed in the torch light, tiny crystals sparkling at the tiniest movement of the material. Emerald green eyes regarded me coolly.

"Alright, I know I look like a clothes horse with icing but there's no need to gape." I blinked then firmly shut my mouth. I shook my head, searching for the words that suddenly escaped me.

"No, no." I started, raising my hand and brushing a finger against the velvety skin of her cheek, brushing back a stray silver hair as an excuse. Yuna's eyes instantly travelled to the floor. "You look incredible." I smiled. Hesitantly, her hand moved up to mine but instead of moving it, it rested atop.

"You're just saying that." Her voice was barely above a whisper, with no hint of mirth.

"I'm not." My reply was just as soft. Yuna's eyes met mine, the brilliant green irises shinning through thick, dark eyelashes. "You've always been beautiful, but this…" My words failed for a second time and I settled for a lopsided grin. A pained look flashed in her eyes then just as quickly was gone. I was perplexed but chose not to question it.

"You can thank Gem and Jen then, I suppose." She mumbled. "I swear those two have a deep rooted desire to see me suffer." My grin widened.

"If it helps, I think it was worth it." A crimson blush was rising in her cheeks. White teeth lightly bit her full, pink bottom lip and in that moment I realised just how I'd been longing to kiss her. Any speculation I'd ever had about what it would be like had been thoroughly blown out the door the previous morning. It was more than amazing. Not just because she was beautiful, not just because she returned it, but because it was with her. It was never about the thrill of the challenge, not like with the others. With Yuna it was just about…her.

I brought my other hand up, fingers trailing over the curve of a shoulder, the exposed stretch of her back, the arch of her long neck. The bulk of Yuna's silvery-white hair –which the dress matched faultlessly- was intricately twisted around the base of her scalp, allowing me free reign over normally concealed skin. She shivered slightly and I revelled in the product of my caresses. My fingers found their way up to her flushed cheek so that I cupped her head in my hands, her eyes studying me relentlessly. I leant in, my lips brushing hers lightly before I kissed her fully. Yuna didn't put up any type of a protest, her arms wrapping loosely around my waist. A gentle coaxing from my tongue and her mouth opened fully. She was warm, welcoming, so unlike her usual self. I delighted in the taste of her mouth, salty and addictive. I could sample it for an eternity and it would never be enough.

Was this it? Was she letting me in at last? Finally, Yuna broke the kiss, her eyelids opening to reveal a wealth of unidentifiable emotion sparkling in their jade depths.

"What was that for?" She mumbled, unwrapping her arms.

"Because I wanted to, because we might not get another chance tonight." She took a deep breath, looking at me fully.

"We better get going." Was all she said. I nodded, fingering one of many strands of pale silver hair that framed her face. Taking a step back and to the side, I offered her my arm which –after a moment of regarding both it and me- she took it.

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The night air was thick with the promise of rain, cool and refreshing. We walked in a comfortable silence, Yuna lifting the front of her dress with one hand so as to stop herself tripping, the other arm resting lightly on mine. It was the kind of thing I'd done countless time with countless maidens for festivals, celebrations, feasts and whatnot. It was monotonous, at least until now. It was hard not to snicker with Yuna's dress snagging every two seconds and her uttering curses under her breath that would have made murders on death row cover their ears and blush. Half of them I couldn't comprehend and other half I had no desire to.

Although we were still some distance from the clearing, I could make out lights in the distance. The others must already be there. The forest was completely dark otherwise, leaves crunching underfoot as we proceeded onwards.

"Legolas?"

"Yes?"

"Who told you to pick me up?" I hesitated for a second but quickly decided honesty was the best policy.

"Narin. She came to my room an hour or so ago. Why?"

"Oh, I'm just wondering, that's all." She uttered another curse as her sleeve caught on a branch. "Why in Morgoth's name would anyone need so much material on such a flimsy garment?" Yuna asked, carefully detaching herself. I waited patiently till she started walking, in no hurry to end our quiet stroll. "I think you should wear the dress next time."

"What!"

"Why should I be forced to endure the sheer agony and humiliation of wearing this torture device?"

"Yuna…"

"No, really, next time, you're wearing one. Something pink with lots of embroidery and a very tight corset."

"If you really want me to."

"Really?" Her eyes brightened, no doubt at what would essentially be a repeat of the Firowen incident at the Tournament's celebratory ball.

"No."

"Why not? I think you'd look fabulous. Better than me anyway."

"Yuna, when I said you looked amazing, I meant it. It suits you perfectly, the cut, the colour. Why you can't see that is beyond me." Yuna's cheeks flushed slightly, and again her gaze found solace on the ground. "Besides, I'm missing a few curves that I believe would be necessary to hold that particular dress up." She gave me a Look™ and I promptly took the hint to shut my mouth.

As we entered the clearing, there were a few things I noticed. The first were the multicoloured paper lanterns hung from branches at head height or lower, casting soft light over the clearing. The second was the large, beige blanket laid out at the centre with a hamper of sorts set atop it. The third and most important was the distinct lack of people. I looked at Yuna. Yuna looked at me.

"I'm going to murder Jen." We muttered in unison.

"I guess this is what she meant before." I sighed, picking my way over to the blanket and sitting down.

"What do you mean?" She was still standing, her arms crossed beneath her chest making her generous bosom all the more prominent.

"I said that I needed to talk to you alone and she said she could arrange something and dragged Narin off. I guess this-" I gestured around the clearing with a hand. "-is what they came up with." Yuna nodded, walking over and plonked herself down beside me with little care for the mass of gauzy material billowing around her legs.

"I suppose it's kind of pretty." She stated with a shrug. "What's in the basket?" I looked at it then cautiously opened the lid.

"Enough drink to kill a baby Oliphant -no doubt courtesy of Firowen- and food. You hungry?" Yuna shook her head.

"Not really."

"Me neither." I stated, replacing the wicker lid. Eru, this was awkward. Normally Yuna was confident and outgoing, if a bit rude. But now she was almost…shy, on the point of being bashful. But this was what I had wanted, wasn't it? We were acting like teenagers on an uncomfortable first date.

The lantern light wasn't bright enough to block out the stars, Eärendil a sparkling beacon in the heavens. I gazed at it for a while, at a loss as to how to break the obvious tension between Yuna and I. Thankfully, I didn't have to.

"You didn't wear that damned silver suit this time. Did it finally fall apart at the seams?"

"I don't wear it that much." I defended lamely.

"Please, you wore it for Valar knows how long in Caras Galadhon. I've no doubt you wore it for Aragorn's coronation-" The look on my face confirmed the statement as fact. "-It made a reappearance at the end of the tournament looking rather worn so I if I had to guess I'd say you've worn it to just about every function you've been required to attend for the past six years. Am I right?"

"I didn't know you paid so much attention to my wardrobe. Perhaps you and Firowen should have a little chat."

"Why?"

"Because he noticed you were wearing one of my tunics coming out of my room yesterday morning."

"That's impressive, if not psychopathically scary." She looked down, rubbing the material of a sleeve between two fingers. "I'm guessing he told everyone."

"It's Firowen, he can't help it."

"He will after I use his tongue to polish my sword." I chuckled lightly. The statement didn't seem too farfetched. "So everyone knows that I…stayed the night." I nodded then quickly added.

"But I told them I didn't sleep with you." Yuna gave me a Look™. "In the same bed as you, I mean. Even the same room for that matter." I kept the disappointment from my tone with some effort. She blinked and gave me a slightly confused look but neglected to say anything on the subject. Instead – to my complete surprise – she leant her head on my shoulder and silence reigned once more. Not as uncomfortable as before, but still with an air of tension.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Hmm?"

"You said before that Jen did this whole thing so that you could talk to me alone. So, talk." I took a deep breath.

"I don't know. I'm sure that she assumed that the fact that we weren't married with a few dozen children meant that something must be wrong between us." I tried to keep my tone jovial. Yuna chuckled silently, a faint smile spreading on her face.

"Don't play dumb with me, blondie. You may look like you're exceptionally good at it, but that's a lie." There was silence. After a while, I asked the question that had been on my mind for a while now.

"Why are you leaving?" I felt her stiffen ever so slightly at the question. She must have known I'd ask it, but whether or not she was prepared to answer was a different manner. Her head left my shoulder as one finger trailed idly in circles on the mass of material.

"You know why." She stated, her gaze still not meeting mine.

"I mean honestly. You were fine to stay here a few months as the Tournament was held but just now you decide to leave?" I tried my best not to sound accusing. The last thing I wanted was for her to get defensive.

"I've been wanting to leave for a while now. I need to go back. I…I don't belong here. No matter how much you dress me up, try to integrate me, I'm still the same person. And I don't belong in a palace." I stopped myself from saying one of the hundred things I could think of to contradict her. If she didn't belong here with us, with me, then where did she belong? In some decrepit wood fighting for her life? Dead at the bottom of a battlefield? The latter thought sent a sharp chill down my spine. I cared about her. Too much to let her go without a good reason.

"Yes, you are the same person. Did you ever think that perhaps that is the reason we wanted you here and not for anything else?" The brief furrowing of her brows indicated that she hadn't.

"What does it matter?" She asked, an angry pitch rising in her voice. I was starting to understand her more. She was upset. Why, I couldn't say, I just knew that she'd probably fling herself into the heart of Mount Doom before she willingly let anyone, even me, see her at her most vulnerable. And so the wall of anger was up once more. My attention was drawn to her fingers, flexing unbidden as she tried to keep herself calm. It was then I saw them. On her palms, four nearly identical scars on each, exactly like fingernails dug in hard enough to break the skin and draw blood. They were fresh. Her gaze followed mine and immediately her hands bawled into fists to hide the telltale marks from me.

"What are those?" I asked, ignoring her last question.

"They're nothing. It doesn't matter." She said immediately.

"Yuna, show me. What are they?" I looked at her. "What's happening to you?" The question was directed at myself more than to her.

"Why do you care so much? You knew I'd be leaving, and does it even matter why? I can't stay here. I know that for sure. Why can't you just drop it?"

"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?" I asked, getting louder. "How do you expect to get anywhere if you keep pushing people away? How can I help you if you won't let me?"

"For the last time, I don't need help! If I needed help, I'd ask for it!" We both knew that was a lie but I pursued the topic no further. "And I do what's best for others and, more importantly, myself. If that means pushing people away then so be it. Don't assume that I'm some self-destructive sadist just because I don't share my intimate secrets with everyone I meet. If you're the only person that matters in your life there's no way you can get hurt. If you die, you're far too dead to grieve. I've told you this before, I'm sure. Why can't you just accept that I'm different to you and your friends?"

"They're our friends, Yuna, whether you like it or not. And if you're the only person in your life, then as far as I'm concerned, that's just as good as being dead." Her mouth opened, but nothing save a hesitant sound came out. I continued. "What do you want, then? To live your life in total seclusion? To forget everyone that cares about you? To vanish from the memory of all until all that remains is an unmarked grave?" I could see it as I was speaking. Her eyebrows crashed together in anger, upper lip curling back in a snarl. She wanted to shout at me, tell me what exactly it was that she wanted and everything that she was feeling that made her say what she had. She wanted to. But she didn't.

"Do you think I like this?" She said, after a moment where she calmed herself to get her voice to a normal level. "Do you think I like being this sociopathic loner? Do you think I really enjoy watching couples and friendships flourish before my eyes as I spend my years alone?" She was getting more aggressive as she continued.

"Well you certainly seem to, why else would you do it?" I responded, my tone matching hers.

"You're wrong." She stated simply, for the first time that evening looking me directly in the eyes. "I do it because I care too much to let people get hurt by me. People think I'm uncaring and antisocial, I'm just the opposite. You have no idea, nor do I want you to. Take my word for it and leave me be. You will get hurt. Everyone will. I know it. Don't ask me why or how. This is not me feeling sorry for myself, this is me telling you to back off." She was certainly a sight when she was angry, yet somehow I knew she'd never knowingly seriously injure me. With her tone deathly calm, her eyes fixed on mine, she was more than a sight, she was terrifying. 'And yet still beautiful' The thought came unbidden. It was true.

"Why now? Why after everything that's happened in the past few days do you want to leave now? Is it my fault? Do I make you uncomfortable? I'll slow down, I'll even stop completely if you want me to, I just—"

"Stop what? Kissing me whenever you 'want to' and using me to baffle your potential suitors? Don't be naïve, Legolas, and don't tell me you thought that it would get any further than that because I know you'd be lying. It was just a bit of fun on your part, and I realise that, because that's all it was for me too. To tell the truth I was just curious as to whether or not all that talk about your ability to make any woman go weak in the knees was true or not." I resisted the urge to ask her if I'd succeeded, and opened my mouth to form a more suitable reply, but she stood up before I could. "Oh, and by the way, if anyone asks, I used you. Goodnight." And with that she swept away, skirts twirling about her feet, shimmering in the lantern light.

I was speechless. Which seemed to happen a disconcertingly large amount with her. Just like that, she was gone. I wanted to call after her. To think up with some magical words that would suddenly make everything ok once more, but they did not come to me. When I had kissed her before, she responded, seeming quite happy with it. And yet now I got the feeling that if I tried once more I'd have one of the pins holding her hair in place buried in my thorax. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this confused. Probably around her. She made no sense. She had seemed so ready to forget her old philosophy and accept the fact that people could not only stand her, they cared about her. I cared about her. And now this. I wanted to know so badly why she felt this way, and what, if anything, I could do. But I knew my questions would not be welcome. Sighing, I resigned myself to pondering the enigma that was the Lady Yunalesca.

A.N. Rai: On to the reviews.

Honeymuffins, Lillyrose1, nazgulli, Idhrenniel, Courtney, FFAMasquerade2005, silvestar – Cookies for all. Big ones.

Lady Amytal – Have a dark, bittersweet, foot-wide cookie.

Yavanna and SunStar – Slush by the barrelful is heading your way soon. Well, as slushy as Yuna could be. I don't think any of us can see her reading from 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?' any time soon…And yeah, everything will become clear soon…

Chimera – Thanks for the offer, hun. If for some weird reason I decided I didn't want to be her co-author anymore, let me tell you she'd NEED a beta ;). Misses out words all over the place, poor dear.

Jetonna – So do we J. I promise you we won't let this thing slide again.

Melanie – Wow I had no idea we had such devoted readers! I'm so happy to be able to write this again for everybody.

Hina – Ha! On the net! I doubt it somehow, but it's a nice thought anyway :D. Who cares if this thing has some canon lovers puking up their livers, it's fun, dammit.