Two: How Angels Fall

I flew to the north of Middle-Earth, against cold winds, in darkness. I came to sharp-peaked bare mountains with flames flickering dim here and there, in rough-cut windows on the mountainside itself. I saw a gate under the mightiest peak, a passage shaped like a gaping jaw full of sharp teeth. Red light shone trough it, and guardsmen stood beside it. I landed at their feet and saw the gate itself was in fact closed, but it was deep in the passage. I guessed there must be a trap, possibly more than one. The guards were monstrous creatures - now for the first time I beheld the valaraukar, balrogs as they have been named in later days. Horned heads, leathery wings, red eyes - I wondered whether the monster I sought was one of their kin.
One spoke to me:
'What seek you here?'
'I seek to serve the Mighty One, Lord Melkor.'
'Why would you serve him?'
'I prefer darkness to light; I wish to become powerful by serving the mightiest of all Ainur.'
'A satisfactory answer.'
He then summoned a smaller valarauko, a wingless one, and sent it to find "The Commander", whoever that was.

'Master, we have here one who says she seeks to willingly join us.' He did not answer, just stood there, staring at me. He was no taller than I was, clad in dark iron armour, a seemingly ordinary person compared to the other inhabitants of that place, many of which had gathered in the windows to witness our exchange. Cyclops, two-headed ogres, creatures like giant insects, valaraukar of all sizes, and other shapes also.
I felt something was expected of me, so I spoke.
'Master, I have come to serve lord Melkor. I am called -'
But he interrupted me:
'I know you are called Nurtalessen. And I always knew there was more in you than what could be seen. Secrets breed schemes. I am not surprised to see you here.'
Something in his voice hinted of power. I asked:
'Are you the one they call Sauron?'
'Indeed I am. Come to me.'

I walked slowly towards him. He seized my hands and pulled me closer, then suddenly bent his head to bite my neck. I felt a loss of power. He drank my blood, he took my strength, he devoured my freedom. The feathers of my wings fell off and soon I stood in a pitiful pile of white quills and downy feathers. I spread my wings and a new sensation gushed through my veins.

He had taken much from me, but given something in return. I now possessed wings of jet-black leather, and there was nothing between my skin and the night air. All my senses were heightened. I heard tiny movements far away, I smelled the smoke of every torch and fire, I saw through the darkest shadows. Few things would remain secret from me now.

'Fly, my beautiful Nurtahuinen! Try your wings.' Sauron gave me a name, a name that means "The Woman of Secret Shadow".
I rose above the mountains, feeling a wild animal joy. I was one with every gust of wind, I was strong and I was free - or at least I felt free. Free to obey my every evil desire. And suddenly my blood had streamed full of evil desires. Not for me the obedience of a slave - Nurtahuinen thirsted blood. I swept down into the woodlands and caught some small furry animal, and before I realized what I was doing I had devoured its blood. Disgusted, I threw the carcass away and took wing.

He was there, high above, waiting. He too had wings, when he wanted to. I forced a smile on my bloodstained lips and flew to him. In my veins the stolen blood sang of fire and power.

He took me there and then, in the air, and to my surprise I was willing. He courted me gently, kissing the blood from my lips and neck, licking a few errant drops from between my breasts. I folded my wings and went limp in surrender. I returned his kisses with passion and wrapped myself around his body. Such strong wings he had, carrying both of us. He was the first man I had, and he gave me a deep satisfaction different from, but not lesser than, the one I had shared with my first love. The image of Fanian began to fade in my heart.

Of course, the moment I had seen Sauron with wings I had considered the possibility that he was the enemy I sought, but when he touched me I realized no one capable of such tender caresses could be the monster Fanian had described.

When we tired in lovemaking he took me to a mountain peak above Utumno. We stood on a platform that could not be reached by anything without wings. He stood behind my back, his hands on my shoulders. Beneath us we saw the plain surrounding the mountains, where trees had been felled to feed the fires of Utumno. Chasms and trenches formed lines of defence, manned by Moringotto's creatures. We heard the clang of metal, hammer and anvil as cruel weapons were manufactured, we saw enslaved animals bearing burdens on steep, meandering roads and for the first time I realized the awesome might of the machine that was the realm of Moringotto. Sauron seemed to guess my thoughts:
'The Valar are fourteen, and Melkor stands alone against them. But they are foolish and weak, wasting their time in singing and celebration, planting gardens and dreaming foolish dreams, while our lord Melkor is ever preparing for war, allowing nothing to distract him.'
'The war will come.' I said.
He stepped closer, his voice a soft whisper in my ear:
'And are the Valar preparing for it?'
'Yes, and no. Tulkas is enchanted by his wife and gives no thought for yesterday or tomorrow. Oromë hunts the creatures of darkness and his bow is greatly to be feared. Aulë is ever busy preparing weapons for the Ainur - but the wielding of weapons is not his skill. The blade most dangerous of all is the sword of Eönwë, herald of Manwë. The others are mostly powers of peace, yet I doubt even you and I together could kill the weakest of the Valar. When I left Aman, war was only a topic of theoretical discussion, but things may change.'
'I see. And you, Nurtahuinen? Are you prepared for war?'
'No. All I ever was is a messenger, unburdened by sword or shield, escape my only defence.'
'That will change.'