He was gone - my enemy was gone. I mean this literally; in the place of his mutilated body a different body laid, the body of a smaller man, naked as the other had been but seemingly unharmed. I realized I knew this one.
'Sauron?'
He opened his eyes slowly and grinned at me. I was furious, mad enough to forget that I was talking to my commander:
'What magic, what treachery is this?'
'Only what our lord and master decreed necessary. The body you killed was a reflection, a shard of my power, shaped with blood-magic and the sacrifice of a worthless slave. It was the same shape I used when I raped Fanian.'
'You? So it was you?'
'Indeed. And Lord Melkor did not approve of me letting her escape, of the fact that there was in Aman a spirit who knew so much of my shape. He decided the shape in question should be destroyed - for if it remained inside myself, she would know me no matter what shape I wore, and my crime would be known to all her brethren, who would not rest before she was avenged. Imagine my surprise when the champion she had sent turned out to be my little Nurtahuinen, woman of so many secrets.'
'I don't understand. Why did you keep the shape captive so long? Were you inside it all the time?'
'That was the will of our lord and master. A part of me was inside the body, and he decided captivity would be fit punishment for it, until he thought up something more final. And when he saw you, the solution was self-evident.'
'What do you mean?'
'If he had let you harbour your secret wishes of revenge, they would eventually have led to a confrontation between the two of us. Better that you act as his tool and fulfil your quest with his approval. I could see you enjoyed it, and after you took out my eyes - I still knew you loved to hurt me.'
I began to tremble. My hand went limp and the narrow hook-pointed knife I was holding hit the floor with a clang. Sauron took hold of my shoulders and kissed my brow.
'Oh, Nurtahuinen, you were wonderful. Terrible, vicious, merciless, wonderful. If only I could waste power like that I would ask you to do it again.'
'What?'
'My own pain tastes as sweet as the pain of others. What you did was amazing, better even than fucking little Fanian to pieces.'
And I realized two things. First, my revenge was as hollow as the false shape I had killed - Sauron still lived and possessed the memories of his crime. Whatever shard of him I might have destroyed, his mind was a whole. Second, I never would have revenge - even if I managed to maim or kill Sauron, he would enjoy it to the last moment. And then I realized a third thing: I no longer cared one way or the other. I had changed. In that chamber I had done unspeakable things that no creature of light would ever do to any living thing. And Sauron was right - I had enjoyed it.
'I'm hungry. All that blood, and still I'm hungry.'
'Shadow-blood is not as nourishing as it seems. I have something much better prepared for you.'
And he led me to another chamber, where another prisoner waited. Perhaps he was an underling who had offended Moringotto, perhaps a wild but innocent spirit captured for our pleasure. I did not care. His blood was strong and there was plenty.