.:…:. Thought

A/N: Welp this is another chapter involving cur-azy religious peoples. (Reference to Artemis Fowl: And the Date from Hell.)

Carnival- Scotland

Bob and Artemis walked through the carnival hand-in-hand. They stopped by one of the attractions, a cage, with a little red-headed girl bouncing up and down on a trampoline saying "Me likey jumpy! Me likey Jumpy!" over and over in a high-pitched voice. They threw peanuts at her.

Suddenly a Jesus freak ran up to them and whacked them both over the head with a cross. (This actually happened allot.) They both blacked out.

Creepy church basement-New York ('cuz I'm getting tired of everything being British(ish?))

Artemis slowly regained consciousness. .: Were am I? Was I hit on the head? Wait…isn't Butler supposed to protect me from these sorts of things? Why the hell do we pay him???:. Many other questions ran through Artemis' head, buuut, I don't feel like writing them down.

A man in a hooded robe walked up to Artemis; he had a badge on his robe of a rainbow with a red X over it. This did not look good for Artemis'n Bob.

During all this Bob had also awakened, but I'm not going to write down what he was thinking, because anything going through that boy's head would automatically make this story X-rated.

"Huh? Were am I? Mommy?" Bob murmured.

"Silence witches!" Ordered a man in a gold robe. "Huh?" Said Bob (He's just oh-so-articulate.) "Witches? Us?" He questioned. "Yesssss…I can tell you're witches! We saw you holding hands! You MUST be children of the Devil!!!" Practically yelled the man in the gold robe (Tacky). Bob snorted and said with as much sarcasm as his head wound would allow- "Yes, we're witches. Ooblagoobadabi! There! I put a curse on you! Prepare for uncontrollable bowl movements!" The hooded-peoples gasped in union and ran for the bathrooms. (No- they aren't really cursed, but the power of the mind can do mysterious things.)

Artemis and Bob casually walked out of the church. "Um…Bob? Would you be my new bodyguard?" Artimis inquisited (I love that big word o'mine.) "Sure Art---" Bob stopped abruptly. Now that they were out of the church they could see the Statue of Liberty, loads of coffee shops, and dozens of rude taxi drivers. "Arty, I don't think we're in Scotland anymore."