Chapter IX

It's Just a Cut

HDM: bloob...all I have to say about this chapter. I am the Angst-Queen for this reason...I never let my stories be happy or the characters be happy for more than one chapter!

Sorry it took so long, I can only work at my dad's now cuz I don't have internet at my other house anymore...

You look upon the faded pictures. You recall all benevolent memories that it brings to your heart. Your eyes beg for another moment of that treasured benevolence. You know that it can never be the same. You will not let it ever be that way again. You let out a sigh of nostalgia and remorse as you set down the treasured pictured. Tears start to form in your eyes but you cannot stop them. You cannot even silence your crying gasp. You know it will never be the same but it does not stop you for wishing it to be the way it was.

Pepito feels that way now...

He is now a shell of what he was. His natural mohawk droops to the one side of his head as the horns of ivory protrude out more than ever. His skin is a paler and more sickly yellow than normal. His bony exterior is nothing to say anorexic but the apparal of wearing baggy black clothes makes it less noticable. He is slumped against the ground, just peering at his wall. His arms are colored by the scars of what seems to spell out FAGGOT. One hand has the fingers cleverly placed around a blunt. The other fingers an old photograph. It's frayed and bent but it's very noticeable of whom it is. It's a picture of him and Todd, two years ago.

He was the one that broke up with Todd, not the other way around. Todd was very upset, but who wouldn't? Todd moved on to other people, he actually dates Brittany to this day. It would seem that Pepito has moved on, as well. Afterall, he goes out to get stoned, a buzz, or fucked every now and then. He made everyone believe he was fine, even his father. No doubt Satan had a hand in the decision the Advocate has made but none-the-less, he thinks his little boy is fine. Pepito is a pathologic liar.

"I miss it..." he breathes while staring at the corner of his wall, "I miss the feeling I received from him. It was geniune and grand; I never felt that way then or now." Tears start filling up his two-toned crimsom eyes. "I pushed away, I pushed him away...I just fucking pushed..." he started repeating louder and louder. "I PUSHED!" he screams. He snuffs out the blunt as tears roll across his pale cheeks. He breathes in the last scent of the weed and cries out in pain. He waits for a second and then tries to scream again but nothing comes out of his mouth.

He curls himself in a small ball and rocks back and forth. He starts hyming an inaudible tune that he knows. Only the mice could tell he was crying. "Wha-why de-did I ca-cut h-him out!" he cries. The eyeliner streams slowly and slickly down his cheek. He wipes his tears from his face. The chirping of the birds somehow lighten the scene. The trucks and cars honk and speed on the tar streets and people yell and complain about normal bullshit that goes in their life. They do not see it, they never could.

Pepito's POV

I thought I could make myself happy, even with all of the vices that is embedded in my brain. I keep looking at that picture. I remember it so vividly like it was yesterday. It was a couple days before...I broke it off. He didn't understand, he could never understand. Then, day by day, he started to forget. He now acts like I never was apart of his life in a relationship type manner. The fucked up thing is, I want it that way...

"Pepito, I remember you telling me that you said you would get me to forget..." Squee says to the Advocate. "Don't worry, I'm working on it..." the devil said but with a hidden innuendo of sadness. They lay in Pepito's lawn and just stare. They lay with only their pants on-- no not like that. Pepito gazes into the heavens as Todd has his eyes looking down. A flash suddenly flickers as the two boys jump. The unknown culprit runs back into the house, laughing her arse off.

I got the photo the day I broke it off. She gave it to me, not knowing I did it. She gave me a smile and just casually hands it to me. I look at it and I just started to tear up. I drop on my knees and balence myself with my hands. She goes down with me and just yelling "What's wrong". I just keep screaming "I am a fucking asshole!" between my cries. She put her arms around my body. I screamed "Don't touch me" and "Leave me alone." but she stayed. I didn't want her to go because right now she's the only one I have right now. Now, she's gone.

I stare at the wick of a candle across my room. It suddenly catches flame, it wasn't even a yellow but a purple flame. The flame hops off the wick and forms arms and legs. It splits and now there's two pyro people. They start to dance. They twirl across papers and anything flammable. Purple flames catch but it puts itself out without burning anything. I keep twirling my fingers as the flames mesmorize me. I snap my fingers and the flames whisk away into the air. It has nothing to do with my emotions but it's always fun to defy the laws of physics.

I made him forget about me...

That's right, I made him forget. I didn't want him to be hurt so I called in a favor from Hell. No, I didn't beat him up or nothing like that! I know some demons that can make any type of potent liquid better than any human quack. With the touch of Witch Hazel and Newt Tails, it's the perfect forget-me potion. I gave it to him when he was asleep and I took him home. Luckily his parents were passed out on their kitchen floor with probes in their asses. The aliens from Zankantoi didn't mind either. The next morning I saw him and as I figured, he just nodded to me, and that was all...

I hate crying, I feel like a geniune fag. A guy my age doesn't cry about stupid shit like this. I hate crying, I hate it so much. But as much as I hate it, they keep coming, one tear after another. I don't want to wear my emotions on my sleeve so everyone can see. I feel so...stupid...

"Pepito! Time to get going to school!" I hear Mother yell from the steps, "I don't want another call from your principal that you're late!" I sprawl my legs out to stretch them out and slowly get up. I re-apply my liner and look from my black hoodie. I walk down the creaking steps. Every creak I can hear 'faaaaa-got' and 'flaaaaa-mer!' and every time I hear it I cringe. I reach the bottom, thank the deities above, and I start for the front door.

"Pepito, will you please eat something?" I hear my mother beg from the kitchen, "You'll never grow..." I roll my eyes and keep walking. "I'm fine..." I growl as I slam the door. I take out my keys from my deep pocket and head for my car. I see Father in his human skin. "Have a good day, son!" he yells from the car. I look at him and then turn towards my car. "Buck up, sport! It's only two more weeks 'till you're eighteen!" I hear him behind. I shudder at the thought. Yeah, two more weeks, everyone has two more weeks until the Second Damnation.

I turn into the student parking quickly and snag a spot near the side door. It's more convienent if you don't want to go to gym. I can see Brie walking into school and some kid from her art class with his arm around her. He looks fine but she looks like she wants to leave. Wh-what the hell? I walk towards her and she catches sight of me. Her pupils shrink as she mouths the words "Don't do anything" to me. I was hesitant but I stop.

She has another bruise on her cheek.

Everyone pushes into you like your just a nobody. They don't even have the proper decency to look who they're pushing past. You don't even get a laugh anymore. It's like a fluid motion and quite robitic. It makes you want to scream, sometimes. Even the ones who claim they're on the rung of society are actually in a group so they're not so outcasted. I feel bad for the geeks with the pocket protectors. They're the real outcast, and they don't even express it.

The lunch bell rings throughout the school as people rush to get to the caf. I sit on the corner with the goths as they talk about how miserable their lives are. I see Brie again but she's not with her asshole boyfriend. She walks up to me and places her hand on my shoulder. She leans down and whispers 'can we talk?'. I nodded and we headed outside where some people were puffing away. We walked to my car and I lean against the back of it as she looks down at the ground. "Tripped again?" I asked bitterly, eyeing the bruise. "Pepito..." she started but I waved my hand. "I thought you told me awhile back you would never get into this kind of a position." I said with a cold tone.

"You don't know..." she whimpered. "Brie, what do I don't know! I've been with so many and I hang out with assholes like him! They always give me the same responce. ' I love him.' 'He was angry.' 'He promises never to do it again.' It's all bullshit! Now you better give me a god damn good reason why you're still with this fucking asshole or so help me." I yelled. She looks at me, with tears forming. Her short two-toned black and purple hair hide one of her two green eyes.

"I think I'm pregnant..."

I look at her. Her lips quiver as she tries to hold her cries back. "I went to the doctor but she doesn't know, yet. I went to tell him, he flipped out. He hit me in the face, telling me that if I leave him, I'll do something to my baby..." Tears start rolling as she collapses into my arms. I am at awe. I don't know what to do or how to help. "Please, Pepito, I need someone to help me! I don't want an abortion because that's unfair! Please, I know I shouldn't be with him but I'm afraid!" she cries. I hold her protectively in my arms, wishing that it will all go away.

"I-I want you to not get an abortion..." I started say, "But I don't want you to be with him..." She cries harder as she starts pounding on my chest. It isn't hard but I still feel pain. She stops crying and she takes my arm. She pushes the jacket arm up my arm to see my flesh. "Brie, don't-" but she already sees the gashes and FAGGOT. She pushes the other one and that says FLAMER and more gashes. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" she asked? "No, I cannot die, but pain is the only other option..." I murmered.

She pounds on my chest harder. She starts yelling at me. "Why the fuck are you a cutter! Are you a druggy, too? I've heard you've been going to get a needle every week over whats-his-name's house, too! God, Pepito, what the hell is wrong with you do do these things!" I look away, I don't want her to know. "What would Todd say?" I hear that come out of her mouth. That went in deep. "He wouldn't care..." I coldly responded. "What?" she asked. "I said he wouldn't care!" I yelled. "Wh-why are you acting like this?" she asks. I keep silent, I don't want anyone to know...

We start walking into the school where her boyfriend comes out of nowhere. "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!" he screams.
"I went out..."
"With this bi doush-bag?"
"Don't call him that!"
He grabs her by the wrist and starts leading her down the hall. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" I yell but Brie stops me. "Pepito, just go!" she yells as everyone pushes past me, not even caring.

I bite down my lip but I start walking. I don't want to start a fight, now. I keep walking and my shoulder clashes with another. I look to see the guy who decides to be an asshole. I look and I see it's Todd. My loss of words plagues me as I see him with apologetic eyes. "Sorry Pepito!" he yells as I help him with a book. "It's cool, um I gotta go.." I start sprinting to my next class, this lump in my throat doesn't go away.

Please...make it all go away?

End of this Chapter

HDM: Review, even though I can't update really soon