School tomorrow…I'm looking forward to it actually. Probably won't get another update in for a couple of days, but I will write notes on them at school, and maybe even get a songfic or two up in the mean time…

The last chapter wasn't how I planned it, but the story is in fact going in a new direction, which is a lot better than the old one. This chapter is shorter than the more recent ones, but hey it's nine o'clock and I have school tomorrow- so you're lucky you're getting any chapters.

Now, I don't usually look at the number of reviews, just the reviews themselves, but if I could get 150 by the next chapter, that'd make school worthwhile. (Nearly)

Disclaimer is as always; if you don't know what it is, read the other chapters please…

Chapter 22 : Slapping, Spectacles and Sewing

Recap: "Jonathan, I don't think that's Alanna…" Daine backed away, pushing Jonathan back with her. "You really need spectacles your highness…"

(In the Woods)

"Neal, please tell me you're making it up…" Dom's voice quivered with fear, he'd faced worse than this before and come through unharmed, but for some reason he felt it'd be different this time.

"I don't have a vivid enough imagination to be making this up." They all slowly turned around in canon, first Numair, than Alanna, followed by Dom and lastly George, who was the only one brave enough to say anything stupid. "That must have fallen out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." Funnily enough, it wasn't what it wanted to hear and it lunged towards George.

The all drew out their swords and raced to help, George already slashing the creature. Dodging back from its claw, he saw an opening and took it. Striking with unreal precision, his blade punctured the animal's soft underbelly. It howled in agony and collapsed to the ground- but not before making one final attempt with it's curved nail, slicing George's chest diagonally, soaking his ripped shirt with blood.

"George, are you ok?" Alanna ran to his side, ripping off some of her own shirt to tie around the wound. "Thank Mithros you jumped away, any deeper and this would have been fatal." Alanna poured her purple magic through him, mending the gash temporarily. "Neal, don't just stand there- you're a healer- do something!"

"Don't worry lass, it's only a little scratch…" He moaned trying to get off his knees and standing, not wanting to worry anyone further. Neal grabbed his medical pouch off his horse, and brought out a needle. "What is that for lad? There's no home economics class here to use that in." He tried to chuckle.

"It's to use on you." Just like the creature did, Neal leaped on top of George, pinning him down, and then putting him asleep with his calming magic. George's body fell limp on the muddy ground. Alanna saw how uncomfortable it was and folded a blanket up and slipped it under his head.

"Form a circle around us; I don't want to be caught off guard if one of those strikes again." He nodded towards the thing lying only five paces away. It resembled a big cat, only one that had been dipped in acid for a couple of days beforehand. The black eyes were lifeless and doll-like, and its claws smeared with George's blood. Thankfully it was dead, but they had no doubt that there was worse to come.

Creating a protective human barrier around the newly appointed surgeon and his victim- I mean patient- made them all tense up, their senses on overdrive. Any rustle, movement or breeze made them more alert. After several conversations including, "Could you hand me that scalpel?" "Get it yourself."- he was finally done.

"Finished, George is as good as new."

"But he's covered in stitches!" Alanna gaped at her husband, who stirred under Neal's magic hold.

"Ok then- he's better than new."

(The Seating Area- Jonathans POV)

"I don't need glasses, my eyesight is perfectly fine thank you very much."

"Yesterday you were petting a rock because you thought it was a dog!"

"Well it was quite furry- but that does not give you enough evidence to accuse me of needing them."

"Last week you tried to kiss Thayet but ended up kissing Neal!"

"He was quite a good kisser…but in my defence he was wearing purple- it is quite a feminine colour."

"The morning before that you stepped on top of Numair while he was lying on the grass thinking he was a rug!"

"But why would there be a rug on the grass?"

"That's exactly my point! You need to get your eyes checked out by Duke Baird. I don't want you to walk into my room again thinking it was the bathroom- that got messy."

"I just get disorientated sometimes- it's not my fault entirely." Dane was about to reply but stopped when she heard coughing, and remembered the other person in the room.

"Hey, remember me? The evil bad guy out to wreck your lives and ruin Tortall?"

"No sorry I don't really…" Daine came so close to hitting the King then, but only just realised what she was about to do- so she slapped herself instead.

"It was a rhetorical question."

"Don't go all Numair on me now; using words that only scholars can understand isn't helping anyone."

"You must be either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid to answer back to me Jonathan."

"Aren't they the same thing though?"

"Well you've got guts I'll give you that."

"Give me what?"

Daine slapped her head repeatedly; this whole thing was going from bad to worse.

"How can anyone put up with your incessant idiocy? It's driving me crazy and I've only been talking to you for a couple of minutes!"

"It's a talent few master." After receiving a few curious glances from Jonathan, Daine realised she was talking to the supposedly dead Kai like a friend- well that had to stop. "Aren't you meant to be dead?"

"I struck a deal or two, but now I'm back and there's no stopping me."

"Who did you make a deal with?"

"Do you know what curiosity did to the cat Jonathan?"

"Yes I do Kai; it had a fatal incident with the end of Alanna's sword."

"Really? That's not the version I heard, but it'll do for now."

"Alanna isn't here though."

"Yes I know." It was Kai hitting herself now- if Jonathan kept up this annoying streak then they may not have to do anything, she'll already have killed herself. "But in my version, the curious cat has a choice- either hand over the crown to me, or it can watch its country fall. It's your choice now."

"Which did the cat choose?"

"That's for you to decide."

"Can't it take what's behind door number three?"

"What's that then?"

"The saucer of milk."

"No Jonathan, that's not an option." Daine started to bang her head against a nearby wall.