a/n: Puzzling question and possible reward in the author's note at the end.

Rollercoaster of emotion and turnabout ahead.

Clandestine Moments -----------

IV. Less than You Thought I Needed

Behind the closed door the clock chimed a sad note announcing the time. He was supposed to have been home hours ago according to the official docking schedule uploaded from his last checkpoint. He was on his way back home to see her, to say that he missed her and loved her. But he was hours late and she had never felt more alone.

A half-empty glass of red wine was her only comfort, sparkling in the dark with the lights of the bustling city outside reflecting empty promises and a broken heart. She cried a silent tear and closed her eyes as she lay back on the bed, slipping into a peaceful solace away from the hurt of the world.

He found her there in the morning just as the rays of the rising sun peeked through crevices of the tall buildings that overshadowed their home in the Imperial Palace. She was like a porcelain doll in her tender state.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed woke Leia from her restless sleep and she opened her eyes, blinking away the haze of slumber. She looked at him with contempt before closing her eyes again. Rolling onto her side, she shunned his presence in a hurtful display of emotion.

"Leia..." he breathed. "Leia don't-"

"You don't," she spat out hatefully.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, careful to leave a foot of distance between their bodies. There were times when even he knew not to test her patience. She had endured enough pain and anguish at his thoughtlessness to last seven lifetimes. Even he knew when enough was enough.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispered. "I never meant to hurt you."

"You never mean to do a lot of things, Han, but you can't stop yourself. Why do you come back here if you know this isn't where you want to be?"

He sighed heavily and buried his head in his hands.

"Because I need you," he answered honestly.

She laughed mirthlessly, scoffing his response. There was no reason for her to believe anything that he said, let alone give in to the implication that she should forgive him. There was no room in her heart for forgiveness. He had taken all of the forgiveness that she had to give.

Han could hear the telltale sniffle that indicated the start of her emotional breakdown. He watched her shoulders shake with her sobs. It broke his heart to see or hear her cry, but he decided in the end that it was nothing less than what he deserved.

Deciding that he couldn't take anymore suffering, he stood up and began to walk away. His hand touched the doorknob when she spoke softly in the silence. Her voice was strained, tearful, and very afraid.

"Don't leave again," she whispered.

"I thought that's what you wanted."

"It's what you forced me to believe," she answered.

"Damnit," Han cursed under his breath. He leaned his forehead against the door and let out a heavy, frustrated sigh. It seemed that nothing he ever did was right.

From across the room Leia could feel waves of emotional pain flowing from Han's dejected spirit. She hadn't realized the sincerity of his pain until she had felt it for herself. Quietly standing, she walked across the room and pressed herself to his back.

"You aren't a failure," she whispered into his ear.

"Don't lie," he spat. "It isn't your style. Besides, I don't need your pity."

"But you do need me if I remember correctly."

Han slammed his hand against the door, startling Leia and making her jump slightly in surprise. Turning around and grabbing Leia's arms tightly, he pulled her to within inches of his face.

"I'll be fine on my own," he ground out from behind clenched teeth.

"But I won't be," she cried. "Every time you leave you take a piece of me with you. If you keep disappearing like this there's going to be nothing of me left."

His anger melted away at her admission.

Sliding down to the floor, he cradled Leia to his chest, rocking her back and forth in his arms as she cried. Even if he couldn't offer her any promises to stay he could offer her what little comfort he had left to give. And there with her he could take some comfort for himself as well.

a/n: Alright, for those of you with the new box set of Star Wars dvds, tell me the name of the song that they play during the opening menu screen of Episode One. It's sad and lonely and I'm dying to download it. The first (or only) person to tell me what it is will get whatever idea they have running around in their head written into a fic.

That note aside, thanks to everyone who's been reviewing. It really makes my day a lot better when I see that you guys are liking the stories. I only hope that this chapter and the ones to come will meet your seal of approval.

And to KnightedRogue: Y'know, the post-rescue pre-Endor thing was the second place that came to mind when I was thinking of times when they got to do it. Bespin just made so much more sense in timing and characterization. You gotta realize that Leia's impulsive and sometimes she does things irrationally just to keep people guessing (I.E. kissing Luke, shooting her way into the garbage compactor to rescue her own self in ANH). It just seems to make sense to me that she'd sleep with Han so quickly in their relationship because she thinks that he won't think she'd do it. It isn't a matter of 'will he leave will he stay' as much as it is about her.

Make weird sense? Anyway, I'd like to hear anymore of your takes on this matter if you have any to give.

Anyone else feel free to throw in your comments as well.

Happy chapter next.

It's a fanfiction sin to read without reviewing.