But I Can't

I'm running from what I'd done

Hoping I can out run it

But knowing I can't

I want to go and do it over

But I can't

I took something important as if it was nothing

I'm ashamed at myself

I've been self-fish

I want nothing more than to turn back time

But I can't

So I run

I run as far as I can

I slip and fall

But no one cares

No one's around to help

I spot a knife in a window

I want it

I want it to take it so I can die

Slowly and painfully

But I can't do it

I deserve to die

Die like the man I killed

Some people may think it was for the better

Or that the man deserved to die

But he didn't

I do

I should have never killed him

Even in self-defense

His blood is in my mouth

And all over me

Its coppery taste, its slimy texture

The way it trickles

It makes me sick

I want to throw up

But I can't

I look behind me

I see a man chasing me

But I'm not scared

then he pulls out a gun

I'm glad

I hear a shot before everything goes black

"I'm dead." Was my last thought

I get up and see my body broken and bloody

Then I hear a man call my name

I look up and there's an angel holding out his hand

"Come." He said

I took his hand and he took me to my final resting place

"I'm finally where I belong." I said as he took me through the gates of Heaven

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