Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, however, the Bible says the meek shall inherit the Earth...I don't personally need the Earth, I'll just take Gilmore Girls...and Scott Patterson for my sister...You guys can divide the rest amongst yourselves. In the meantime, I'll work on being meek.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed—you rock! And thanks to those of you who have stuck with me even though it looked like I did a terrible thing. Explanations are forthcoming...
This chapter is in Lorelai's POV, thoughts in italics.
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Chapter 3: Going Pro...AKA: Love Hurts
Lorelai took a moment to pause, close her eyes, and take a deep cleansing breath, as she prepared to slide her key into the door of Rory's apartment. She knew there could only be one reason for this SOS call--
Logan. A fight with Logan…
--and she'd been expecting it…dreading it. She hoped she'd be wrong, but deep down, she knew it was inevitable.
For almost a year, Logan and Rory had spent very little time together. He was gone for weeks at a time with his father, and the times he was in town, they'd had to squeeze time together in between her classes and his many other obligations. She could see the toll it was taking on Rory, and could only assume it was affecting Logan as well. It was only a matter of time before the stress reached a boiling point, and one…or both of them blew. This brought her to her second worry--
They've never fought before…
By the time she and Luke had gotten together, they'd had numerous blowouts, tiffs, arguments, and silly disagreements. There was a comfort in knowing your relationship could handle just about anything and still heal.
A comfort Rory and Logan don't even know exists…They still think Love is all sunshine and puppy dogs….a major blow out like this must have been could very well make them think they're over…
She rested her head against the door for a second longer, then straightened, squared her shoulders and put on a neutral expression before turning the key in the lock and stepping inside. The apartment was dark.
"Rory?"
She flipped on the light switch and began walking toward the back of the apartment. Rory's door was ajar, and the light was on.
"Ror," she said softly, nudging the door open a little further.
Is she sleeping?
She pushed the door open farther and saw Rory, hair tangled and messy, blouse hanging open, and jeans unbuttoned, sitting at her desk scribbling furiously on a legal pad. Lorelai's brow furrowed in confusion.
No sobbing...not even any crying...maybe I was wrong?
"Rory, Honey, are you ok?" she asked quietly from the doorway.
"I'm fine," Rory said firmly, "I'm sorry pulled you all the way out here. I called your cell to tell you not to come, but Luke answered and said you'd forgotten it."
Oh Thank God...they didn't fight...returning to DEFCON one...
Lorelai leaned casually against the door frame, "Eh, no problem...the baby wanted to go for a ride anyway--" she patted her slightly rounded tummy and grinned, "--and Luke was glad to get rid of me. We were seeing how many marshmallows he could eat before being sick."
Rory just nodded and continued writing.
Uh oh...I may have relaxed too soon...
"So, since I'm here anyway, and Luke's not expecting me back tonight, let's make it a girl's night. Whadda you wanna do? Pizza? Manicures? Talk, maybe?" She crossed the room and sat cross-legged on the bed.
Rory sighed shakily and set her pen down. Without looking up she said, "I discovered today that I am an idiot. And then after further research, I discovered that I am also oblivious."
Ok, that was random...could this be stress about school? A bad grade maybe?
"Whoa, no wonder you've been able to get this far...you've been oblivious to the fact that you're an idiot!" Lorelai quipped.
Rory glared at her.
Lorelai reached out a hand and laid it on her daughter's leg, "Hon, just tell me what happened."
Rory stood up and began to pace. "It would seem that I have just, rather clumsily, extracted myself from a relationship that I never should have been in to begin with--" she said, running her hands through her hair.
God, I hope she's talking about her friendship with Paris...
Rory continued, "I mean, in theory it seemed fine, and the chemistry was good--"
Ok...I take that back...I hope we're NOT talking about Paris...ew...
"--but on paper...on paper it's disaster! It's absolutely a nightmare! It's like...communism...or HMOs!" She crossed to her desk and picked up the legal pad, waving it in her mother's face, "Do you know what this is?" without waiting for a reply, she ranted on, "This is the longest pro con list I've ever made—nine pages! Nine pages spelling out the disaster that was my relationship with Logan Huntzberger!"
Nine pages? That's impressive...did she say was?
"Honey, did Logan call? Did you two have a fight?" Lorelai interjected, scooting to the edge of the bed so that her feet were flat on the floor. Rory continued to pace.
"No he didn't call!" she shot over her shoulder angrily.
Now we're getting somewhere...
"Okaaay, so he didn't call...and you're mad at him because he didn't call--"
Rory threw her hands up in the air. "I'm not mad at him because he didn't call...he wasn't supposed to call! He's never had any obligation to call me at any specific time, so I would have no reason to be angry at him if he didn't call!"
One step forward, two steps back...
Lorelai stood and caught Rory by the shoulders. "Babe, as much as I'm enjoying this game of Angry 20 Questions, the pacing is making me nauseous, and I'd really like to understand the cause of this freak out...not to mention the fabulous wardrobe choice," she said, tugging on the loose tail of Rory's shirt.
Rory slumped to the floor and covered her face with her hands, "Key fuzz spear," she mumbled.
Oh well that explains everything!
Lorelai squatted down in front of her daughter, "I didn't quite catch that, Ror."
Rory scrubbed her face and sniffled. She dropped her hands to her lap and met Lorelai's eyes for the first time. "He was here."
Aaaaaah, NOW we're REALLY getting somewhere!
Lorelai shifted to sit cross legged on the floor next to Rory and waited.
"I was so happy to see him, and everything was fine, at first. We were in the middle of--"
Ack! Please, God, my virgin ears! Lorelai cringed slightly. Rory noticed and one corner of her mouth turned up briefly.
"—greeting each other—"
That's Mommy's girl...
"—when he asked why I was so mad when I came in."
Why was she mad? Lorelai opened her mouth to ask that very question, but was preempted by Rory continuing.
"This led me to tell him about grandma and Shira--"
Mom?
"--and that led to the snapping which led to the shouting which led to the throwing of the ring which caused his leaving and my calling." Rory finished her story with a shrug.
Lorelai glanced at Rory's lap where her bare left hand was resting. She threw the pretty, pretty ring...it's worse than I thought...but what does Emily Gilmore have to do with all of this...
"Ok, so you had a fight and you both probably said some very angry things, and you threw your ring--'
"—At his head," Rory interjected.
Oh Boy...
"—Right...threw your ring at Logan's head, and he left. What I'm still not getting is what, exactly, you fought about..."
Rory took a deep breath, "I went to lunch at Grandma's today--"
Well there was your first mistake...
"--and she and Shira told me about all these plans they have for me this summer—events, dress fittings for the events...training! Can you believe they wanted me to train for social events...like it's the Olympics or something!"
Ah yes, the Triathlon...Greeting, Dancing, and Dining...
"And when I explained to them that my summer was already jam packed with all the plans I have with you, and with my job, they went crazy and Shira was yelling at Grandma for not 'explaining what was expected' and Grandma was yelling that she thought I knew...and when they finally calmed down enough, they explained that they thought that because I accepted Logan's proposal that I understood that meant I was ready to assume the 'responsibilities inherent to our positions'--"
"Dirty"
"—I thought that too, but it turns out for me that means no job and no writing. Just planning and attending events, joining clubs, supervising staff, and—wait for it—'arranging for the care of the children!"
Lorelai's mouth dropped open, "I can't believe you didn't tell me you had children!"
Rory rolled her eyes, "Mom, focus!"
"Sorry, so then what happened?"
"Well, I was so freaked out...I just...bolted..."
That explains the 13 messages on my answering machine demanding that I call my mother so that she can tell me in minute detail that I failed to teach my daughter manners...
'...and when I got here, Logan was waiting for me, and I told him about it, expecting him to agree with me and be outraged, but he basically said the same things they did, and I got mad and then he got mad and the rest you know..."
My poor baby...
Lorelai pulled Rory into a hug, "Aw Hon, I'm so sorry. Maybe it's not as bad as you think. I'm sure after you've both had a chance to cool off and think about things--"
Rory jumped to her feet shaking her head. "No! I have been thinking about things--" she grabbed the legal pad off the desk, flipping to the beginning, "—nine pages of thinking, and the more I think, the more I realize that there is really no way I can logically even try to repair a relationship that never should have happened to begin with..."
"But--" Rory didn't even hear Lorelai.
"It's hopeless; I mean...what was I thinking? It's all here in black and white...any idiot can see why it wouldn't work: he's blonde—everyone knows I like dark haired guys; his nose is too pointy—that always bothered me; his father's a jerk; he drinks too much; he's too much of a coward to stand up to his jerk of a father..."
Ouch!
"...he's a slacker; he's a snob; he hates Hello Kitty..."
Blasphemy!
"...all our signs are incompatible—Eastern, Western, numerology..."
New age cons...impressive...
"...he falls asleep during plays; he has horrible taste in movies; he compared me to Scarlet O'Hara--"
Whoa...stop the presses...
"Wait! In what way?" Lorelai held up her hand to stop the flow of cons, and got to her feet.
"What?" Rory narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.
"Well, was it a 'You're charming and you have a tiny waist' way--"
Rory interrupted, "No, it was in a 'You were so blinded by the bling I was offering that you turned a blind eye to the consequences—I'll think about that tomorrow' kind of way."
How dare he!
"Bastard." Lorelai muttered, putting her arm around her daughter's shoulders.
"That's when I threw the ring at his head."
I hope it left a mark on his pretty face...
"Good girl." Lorelai whispered as Rory let the list slip from her fingers as she brought her arm up to hug her mother. "So I heard an awful lot of cons--"
"That's not even half of them." Rory said flatly.
"Right, but what about the pros? There have to be some pros..."
"There's only one that matters, and I just don't think it's enough," Rory's voice was scratchy and quiet.
Lorelai pulled back to look Rory in the eyes, "Only one?"
"I love him" Rory's face crumpled and tears finally began to fall from her eyes for the first time.
"Well, that is the ultimate pro," Lorelai whispered, gathering her daughter into her arms again and stroking her back soothingly.
And sometimes the ultimate heart break...
"But what if it isn't enough?" Rory sobbed, "What if I end up resenting him because I'm forced to give up something that's such a huge part of who I am? Will he still love me if that part is missing?" Can it really be the right kind of love if I'm not the me I'm supposed to be?
"Aw Hon, Those are all good questions, but no one can answer them but you."
And I'm afraid of the answers...
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A/N: Not my favorite chapter, but necessary for the plot. Reviews make me happy...Constructive criticism welcomed!