TITLE: Boku no Koe A Tale of Complexities
PART: Two
MAIN PAIRINGS: Sanada Genichirou x Kajimoto Takahisa and Atobe Keigo x Tezuka Kunimitsu.
SIDE PAIRINGS: Kamio Akira x Ibu Shinji, Ohtori Choutarou x Shishido Ryo, Implied Hiyoshi Wakashi x Taki Haginosuke,
GENRE: Yaoi (Alternate Universe/ Humour/ Angst / Romance)
DISCLAIMERS: All the series I'm referring to in this fic, as well as all the brand names and real-life studios, do not belong to me… only this twisted story does.
NOTE #1: Blah or Blah is for emphasis. /Blah/ is for conversations over the phone or flashbacks (if any). /Blah/ is for the conscience or whatever inner voice there is talking. Blah is for thoughts or random Japanese words. Some of these words are footnoted at the end of every page (I'm beginning to understand the need for footnotes in fiction. Thank you dear friend, you know who you are. XD).
NOTE #2: This is inspired by Youka Nitta's manga "Boku no Koe", hence the title, but the story is not quite the same. Special Thanks to DelusionalLady for opening this topic up while we were chatting over the phone the other day. I just have to remind you guys that this is an alternate universe fic. I am not using the characters' seiyuu, but I'm using them, as themselves dubbing other stuff (i.e. Tezuka being the seiyuu of Brad Crawford in Weiss Kreuz, etc.), and Tennis no Oujisama does exist in this world though the characters, instead of the regular names we know, are named after the real seiyuu. I'm twisted, I know. XD I'm just reminding you these to avoid confusion, should you read this fic. And yes, their ages are different here too. XD
NOTE #3: There are records corresponding to the schools in Tennis no Oujisama. They are:
1. Kooun Limited
2. BHI (Black Horse Inc.)
3. Teikoku Songen
4. MG (Masterpieces Group)
5. Yuushousha Studios
6. PT Unlimited (Polar Talents Unlimited)
7. Hashira Kin
8. Playhouse Productions
Everything will be explained as the story goes on.
NOTE #4: These are mostly from the point of views of the uke; so don't be mad that the seme do not have as much screen time.
DEDICATION: This is dedicated to all of you guys who have had this fancy eating your brains for a long while now. We have to wonder after all, how is it working as a seiyuu? I personally have seen a friend of mine work as a 'dubber' locally, and I guess, most of the stuff here are based from what I have observed as well as based from the info I have collected over the years.
DAINIBU: SENSUI
(Second Part: To Dive)
Atobe's eyes sharpened as the door to the lounge opened, and in came the perpetually bickering pair, his so-called friends, Oshitari Yuushi and Shishido Ryo. Raising a brow in barely concealed amusement, he smirked. "I gather you guys are having a row about something immaterial again." He commented, earning a reproachful look from the bespectacled genius and a death glare from the prissy princess.
"It is not immaterial!" Shishido seethed, crossing his arms across his chest. "It concerns my –"
"Sexual life." Oshitari finished laughingly, ducking immediately as his sparring partner swung.
"Ho-boy." Atobe chuckled. "What is it now?"
It was then that Shishido began ranting angrily. "This guy," He pointed hatefully at Oshitari, "Told Choutarou that I'm... that I'm..."
"Homo." Oshitari supplied, taking a soda can from the fridge and popping the tab. He smirked a good two seconds before he tilted back his head and drank thirstily. Atobe knew how it was quarrelling with Shishido. It was a never-ending battle, until the guy was satisfied that he made his point across. It was possible that they had been going at it for hours, and that made Oshitari tired.
"You don't have to finish my sentences, you jerk!"
"You were taking too long."
"Yaro..."
"Oi, oi, no fighting in here, this has just been remodelled!" Atobe protested as Shishido started towards Oshitari, rubbing his fists in anger. "You thrash something, you pay for it – and everything in this room doesn't come cheap!"
At that, the warring pair settled to pouting, and sat side by side on the loveseat. Shishido fingered his long hair and leant back, rolling his eyes in annoyance as did, commencing to stare up the ceiling in frustration. "Yuushi, you shouldn't have said that." He murmured quietly, almost forlornly. "Now, I don't think we could ever turn back to talking normally."
"What makes you say that?" The bespectacled guy asked curiously. "I don't think he's the type of guy who discriminates."
"So you say, but he's very conservative, that Ohtori. I already know that my chances are nil, and then you had to blow up everything with that stink bomb..."
"Then maybe he isn't the right person for you... maybe then, you are deluding yourself that you want any kind of relationship with that type of person."
Atobe listened intently to their exchanges. Oshitari's got a point. He analysed. If that happens, then Shishido is wrong in choosing him as someone he could dote on...
Shishido sighed, straightening himself and staring at the table's crystal centrepiece. "But it's him that I want for a long time now... no one else."
Silence descended as each of them turned to their own thoughts, on the matter and off. Atobe knew it was such a stupid thing to say, but it was heartfelt. He couldn't blame him; after all, Ohtori was a good catch, someone who was both dependable, and responsible for all his actions. He was someone who wanted other people's happiness rather than his. He was someone who seems so dedicated to all his tasks that he was actually named as one of the best young people in the industry.
He was much like Tezuka – only without the needless sacrifices, angst and moodiness.
He shook his head inwardly. Of all the people to think of this early morning. He turned distractedly at Oshitari's thoughtful features. He could practically hear the wheels in his head turning.
"Apology wouldn't solve anything." He said, adjusting his non-graded spectacles.
Shishido snorted. "Yeah, you finally figured that out, huh?"
"But that doesn't mean that we can't do anything about it."
Atobe's ears perked up. Yuushi with a plan... hmmm... this is interesting...
X o X o X
/His eyes closed in their own volition. His nerves were thrumming almost painfully in exhaustion. He couldn't even move a muscle, much less, say something. Laboured breathing, as laboured as his own, reached his ears, and he felt once again, an intrusion to his private space. Fingers danced on his sensitive skin, almost mischievously, and hot breath blew on his ear.
Self-satisfied laughter.
"Play with me more tonight, Tezuka..."
Ato... /
And Tezuka Kunimitsu awoke, sitting up in shock. What was that... His mind screamed, as he held his head between his hands. I'm going crazy... two days in a row...
X o X o X
"No way am I gonna do that, you pervert!"
Atobe laughed, as Shishido stood up, mouth hanging open at what Oshitari just said. Just as he thought, when his friend planned something, it was going to be interesting. "Why not, Ryo, that would be direct, wouldn't it, and Ohtori is a very direct person, so he would appreciate it, na, Kabaji?" he turned to his manservant, who just nodded in complete agreement.
"Usu."
"You guys are freaks!" The esteemed drama queen protested vehemently. "If I do that I won't be able to face him ever again! Are you guys really helping me succeed or helping me dig my own grave?"
"Depends on how you look at it, really." Oshitari quipped in amusement. "But I'm serious. That's all you gotta do."
"Taki-san is going to kill me!"
"No. He's just the manager; so personal things don't matter to him. All he wants is Ohtori's talent. I know him well enough to tell you that."
"Demo(1), Yuushi... what if..."
Oshitari sighed. "Fine, if you don't want to do it, I will. How's that?"
"I dunno..." Shishido fidgeted, wringing his hands and biting the ends of his ponytail.
"There will be a CLAMP-related gathering this week and I still have three reservations left over from the seven I got from the owners of their company, you can start there. Ohtori-kun is in Tsubasa, so he'll definitely be there. If he doesn't want to, I'll urge him, I'm his boss after all."
"That's abuse of power!" Shishido chastised, "You can't just order him around!"
Atobe smirked, pushing his hair back, away from his face. "Ah, then you can consider it a favour... from a friend."
There was long silence, as Shishido seemed to consider everything. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead as ideas swarmed his brain. He was going to fail, and he knew it... but then, what if it succeeded, this wily plan? He sighed, and nodded, letting out a strangled groan for the common sense that he just lost... and the dignity he would be losing soon. Honestly now, were these guys really his friends?
"Fine." He muttered. "But if this backfires, there will be hell to pay, understand?"
"Mochiron, desu (2)" Oshitari said, foxy smile widening.
Atobe gazed at them thoughtfully. Yes, it is risky... but it might work, it just might work...
About my problem though...
X o X o X
"Ah, I suppose I'd better get up now or Ruriko will not have any breakfast..." Tezuka sighed, finally having the energy to get out of bed and start working his ass off. He was supposed to be at the Teikoku Songen Studio to have another song recording. Seriously, why did Hashira Kin cancel their intent to build their own musical studio, and instead went out and merged with the snobbish company?
He was not in the position to complain, though he knew that his rambunctious co-worker, Momoshiro Takeshi had his row with their production sector executive as well as the owner of their company. Yamato Yuudai was indeed a jovial person, but he was not one to be pissed off.
He nearly fired Momoshiro yesterday – and he was still smiling when he said the menacing words in such a happy fashion. It was creepy.
It was his second time there today, and the first time, he was lost in such opulent area that he felt suffocated, regardless of the fact that he was in such spacious place. Now, he knew he would be that way again. It was all too easy to get lost in it that it frightened him in a way... that he wouldn't be able to get out at all.
"'Tou-chan?"
He smiled fondly. His child came to wake him up it seemed. He quickly slipped his slippers on and ran towards the door, opening it after a couple of weak knocks. "Ah, Ruri-chan! You're so early! Came to wake me up?"
"Un!" Ruriko, his only daughter of six years nodded, grinning, her pearly white milk teeth gleaming under the light of the morning sun permeating through the open windows. "I came to wake 'tou-chan up... hungry..."
Tezuka smiled, eyes twinkling. "Ah, you're so cruel, Ruri... you came to wake me up just because you're hungry?" He asked in mock hurt, turning away slightly for added effect. He knew just how to tweak his child's emotions, and sure enough, she clung to his pyjamas, hugging him by the waist.
"'Tou-chan, don't be mad, I was just teasing..."
Grinning inwardly, he turned back and knelt down, bending a bit until they were at eye level. "Hontou ni?"
"Hai!"
Laughing softly, he grabbed hold of her and stood up, carrying her to the kitchen as she rubbed her little nose on his pyjama's collar. "Ah, you're gaining weight." He murmured lovingly, as he stroked her soft hair. "Soon, you'll be older and you will hate being held like this..."
"No, 'tou-chan. I will not let that happen..."
Tezuka's smile faded as memories of another woman who was once part of his life echoed in his mind.
/"Mariko..."
"No, Kunimitsu, we will never get a divorce – I will never consent to it!"/
He held his daughter tighter as they went past the living room.
I hope what you said is true, Ruri-chan... Because if you will stray away from me, I'm sure I will die... I don't want to lose another beloved person ever again.
X o X o X
'Gekokujou.' (3)
Hiyoshi muttered inaudibly as the studio manager harped on him regarding the rate of success – or lack thereof – of the production for Mobile Suit Gundam4. He was about ready to tear him to pieces, he knew, and his fists clenched, itching to strike... but he couldn't do it. He just couldn't afford doing such thing. He would be blacklisted at most... fired the least. Either way, he was on the losing end, and his enemy, the fish-lipped bastard, would only be too happy to be rid of him.
No. That would be all too kind, wouldn't it?
He would just have to bombard the guy's face with his own and strive to top him in every aspect of this competitive industry.
And he was going to win.
He will come at the top, and Atobe Keigo, the current standing owner of Teikoku Songen, as well as his business partner, Sakaki Taro, would have to acknowledge him and give him his due. He nodded inwardly in satisfaction.
Gekokujou.
And in the face of his livid superior, he grinned darkly.
Gekokujou.
X o X o X
Kajimoto stared unblinkingly.
This is not true. He thought in disbelief. Do I really have to have this?
He wanted to give it back, but the promotions guy from the recording company already bid him goodbye... and he was left standing in the middle of the studio hallway, eyes glued on the cover of one of the marketed copies featuring his work.
What am I supposed to do with this?
"Ah, What's that?" Wakato asked over his shoulder.
"A cd." He sighed.
"What cd? Wait... that's a boys love drama! What are you doing with that, Takahisa? Are you into it now that you've tasted what it's like?" Wakato snickered, obviously aiming to bait his new friend. Now, Kajimoto was not the type to get irked easily, however, this was not funny – at all.
"Hiroshi..."
Wakato 'Tsk'-ed, wagging his index finger playfully. "You can't speak to me like that. Although I'm new in here doesn't mean that you can scream at me all you want, after all, I am older than you are!" Then, a cat-like grin spread on his face as he snatched the unwanted package from him. "Ah, it's Aisareru... no, Aisare... Sugite... Kodoku (5)... Ah, nice title! And who are the cast... uh-huh..."
A vein throbbed visibly on Kajimoto's temple. People were now watching, and his manager, Hanamura, was giggling like crazy. Even his co-worker, the ever-scowling Shinjou was smirking. "Hiroshi..."
"Ah, Hanamura-sensei! He got the part! He got the part!" He called out to the older woman. "See? See? I told you he'd be picked! Look it's even qbetter – he's the seme! Can you believe it?"
It took all of Kajimoto's self-restraint not to kill him.
X o X o X
"Ah-hah." Taki sighed as he lounged on the plush loveseat. He looked eerily catlike that Ohtori had to chuckle. Honestly, his manager had always been like this, prissy, classy and fussy. They had their ups and downs but they remained stable... and it was probably their bond as long-time partners that made him feel as if he wouldn't be complete without him.
"What is it, Taki-san?"
"Wakashi's in huge trouble." He sighed once again, shaking his head dramatically. "His director messed up with the cast list and gave the wrong orders to the poor seiyuu hired by mistake. Now they're thousands of yen richer and we are left with an unsatisfied internal media critics."
Ohtori frowned. That's too much... I feel so sorry for Hiyoshi-san. He thought. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think the irresponsible director should be fired. I wonder who it is...
At that moment, the door opened with a bang, and in came Hiyoshi, muttering to himself yet again, eyes bloodshot, probably from anger, and fists clenched hard, so much so that his knuckles were white. He was young, but he had made several amazing feats already, especially in the production department. Only twenty-nine, older than him only by two years, and yet accomplished quite a bit much. He was the youngest producer in Teikoku Songen, and was commended for it by most critics in the industry.
Compared to him, he was still lacking.
Maybe in the future, he would be as good as he was... or maybe, even better.
For now, doing his best in all his projects was enough.
It was all too obvious that the young producer hadn't noticed them yet, for he almost mindlessly sat on his swivel chair and began staring at the centrepiece of the lounge's coffee table.
Ohtori glanced at Taki, whose features softened. "Wakashi." He called out softly, tone gentle... bordering on cajoling.
Just as he spoke, Hiyoshi's head snapped up, eyes wide in surprise. "Haginosuke... Ohtori..." He murmured, straightening up immediately. "Why... since when..."
"We've been waiting for you for half an hour already." Taki smiled, a genuine one, something Ohtori only saw when they were together, and when Hiyoshi was around. He quickly sat up properly, and patted the area beside him.
Hiyoshi the trudged slowly and finally plopped on the loveseat.
And as he rested his head on Taki's shoulder, Ohtori knew he was not supposed to be present, so he excused himself, receiving a nod from them both. And he went out as quietly as he could.
Closing the door behind him, he had to smile fondly, eyes misting a little.
With deliberate intent, he flipped the sign on the door.
+DO NOT DISTURB+
And he wandered away, humming a tune almost lovingly, his quiet voice echoing slightly in the hallway.
X o X o X
"Sanada-sama... a fax message arrived this morning from TV Tokyo. Their Production Staff is calling for a mass-audition. It's going to be a huge project, I think."
Sanada looked up from the applicants list and smiled up at his trusty secretary. "Ah, thank you, Shiba-san. What am I going to do without you?"
"Probably rot away in a dungeon or be eaten alive by your competitions." She laughed animatedly. "Honestly now, Sanada-sama, you've been asking me that ever since you personally hired me for this job six years ago!" She flashed a playful V-sign before happily pattering away to Kirihara's room in an effort to coax him out of his depression.
He shook his head. Kirihara Akaya had been a handful ever since he entered the company, but he couldn't say that he didn't like him, because he did, he really did. It was just that, he seemed to always lapse into depression whenever he got ditched for another seiyuu... like what just happened this morning.
Kirihara was called up by the producer of a cd drama, just to say that he was not going to be offered the job, but someone who went by the name of Kamio Akira. It was a huge blow for him, he knew, since he was so sure that he would be chosen... after all, Sanada himself knew he was exceptional – no one in Yuushousha was mediocre. That was their motto.
He chewed on the end of his pen. He's going to be sullen now... his first rejection, and it's not even an anime... just some random boys love drama... Sanada never understood why such things were being created. Aren't manga6 enough? But he shouldn't complain... it was a source of livelihood, a source of profit, a source of fame and glory... since the market base are women – and it's a known fact that women outnumber men in this world. He shook his head, turning back to his list. Seriously now...
"But I was rejected... rejected!" Kirihara's woeful voice reverberated in the workplace.
Sanada sighed. He had stuff to do before he headed out for another production... a yaoi one.
This is going to be a long day...
X o X o X
"No. More. Boys love. Roles."
Kajimoto said through gritted teeth as he glared at his manager. At the corner of his eye, he could see Wakato giggling like crazy; staring at the cd he had been holding a while ago, repeating the words 'Kajimoto Takahisa – seme...' like some ancient Buddhist mantra – plus the irritating amusement.
"But you're still a bit new to this industry, you're fair game." Hanamura drawled, crossing her legs seductively – as always. "You don't have the power yet to turn down different kinds of work or else you would become stale easily."
Her words were enough to shut him up.
I hate her when she's right...
X o X o X
"Iya da (7)."
"But this is a huge project, you must sing in this one, not only the creators, but the fans also demand you to!"
"Zettai iya da (8)"
"Please, Mizuki-kun, I'm begging you... if we don't do this, we'll both be fired!"
"Let them fire us. We are not going to agree to that. I already said that I'm not going to sing, and that's that."
"But you did it in Slayers(9), why can't you just sing in Saiyuki(10)?"
"Because Cho Hakkai doesn't sing. I don't sing. So there will be no song. Period."
"Demo Mizuki-kun..."
Tezuka felt sorry not for the manager but for Mizuki. He could see exactly what he felt inside. There was terror in his eyes, something akin to the restless kind... as if he was afraid of failure.
For the life of him, Tezuka couldn't understand why. After all, Mizuki's voice isn't that bad... maybe quite normal, okay, peculiarly normal, since there was no one with a voice like his in this wide world, but still, it isn't that bad. Perhaps it was a case of microphone fright? But then again, if that was the case, why did he become a seiyuu in the first place? And why was it that he sang in some anime and did not in others?
His own case was different, and he knew it. His case was something called stage fright... and camera fright, if there ever was such thing. He did not like his face plastered all around him. It scared him in a way... He shook his head, walking over to where Mizuki and his manager bickered.
"Maybe you two could compromise." He said quietly, stopping a bit before giving them a slight nod, turning almost instantaneously away.
There was silence behind him, and he wondered what happened.
Then, he heard Mizuki call out to him, and he stopped in his tracks, turning sideways a bit to show that he heard. What Mizuki said made him smile.
"I am Cho Hakkai!"
He nodded silently and trudged on, hands deep in his pockets. Besides the fright from the glare of flashing lights, the issue I have with live appearances, is that I become the characters I bring to life...
When I sing character songs, I sing with their mindset... I don't just sing for the sake of the project... and I don't think it's necessary to show my face to the people because that only brings out the fact that the characters I play are only that – characters, fictitious beings drawn, entities that could be twisted upon whim. I believe that they live... and they live through me.
I don't want people to see me. I want them to see them, the ones I let live.
I want them to appreciate the beauty of the characters as if they are alive... and showing my face in public would only brand my future undertakings. If they don't like how I look, most of them wouldn't even think twice on not supporting my projects... or possibly, hate the characters I voice over.
I was Crawford(11) and Crawford was I.
Just as Mizuki is now Hakkai(12) and Hakkai is now Mizuki.
It is that simple. Mizuki knows when his characters are fit to sing... and he agrees almost immediately.
Yes, we really are different, Mizuki, but when it comes to work, we always internalise our characters... and look how far we've come...
The only thing difficult in this is that, even if we wish the whole seiyuu world to shatter, even if we wish everyone in this industry dead...
The only thing we can do is compromise.
X o X o X
Sanada knew he was running late when Shiba, his secretary started hauling him out of his chair and pushing him towards the elevator.
"Sanada-sama, you are unbelievable! Can't you manage your time for once?"
He rolled his eyes as she thrust his jacket forcefully, boxing him on the nose in the process. "Can't I help it if I'm too popular?" he asked, smirking down at her as she fixed the collar of said jacket.
She snorted, and pushed him out the moment the elevator doors opened to reveal the parking lot. "You sound like Atobe-sama... please don't say that again." She declared, rolling his eyes at him in return. "Ja!"
"Wait, wait! Where am I supposed to go?" he called back as he straightened up from the indignity of stumbling at a mere woman's push.
"Maple Leaf Productions, eighth floor, room 807! You're one of the producers, so collect your wits and break a leg!" Then, the doors shut, much to Sanada's dismay. She's going to get a lower salary this month... she bosses people around too much – even me, her employer! He thought crossly.
Just as he got to his car, he remembered something important and glanced at his watch. Then, he groaned.
Dammit, I forgot my keys in my desk!
X o X o X
They had been waiting for almost an hour.
Kajimoto fidgeted in his seat, he was not comfortable in this, and he knew the others could see it too, for they all gave him such kind smiles, especially the weird-looking guy who was constantly exploding with laughter together with the perpetually happy one. He knew them by name of course; it was just that they were not necessarily on friendly terms with them. He was not the one to always socialise with his co-workers... and he rarely came with them after work to drink at some bar, so he hadn't made any close connection at all.
He had his children, that fact alone was enough.
He sighed, glancing at the door that had been quiet for a long while now. He knew each and every one of them was doing the same thing. Their associate producer was late, and he hated it. He hated it when people were late. If the producer came in without a drop of sweat on him, he will scream at him –
"I'm sorry I'm late!"
Then, a script suddenly came flying out, hitting the latecomer right on the nose.
"Ow!"
"That's what you get for making us all wait for your lazy ass!"
"I already said I'm sorry!"
"Sorry, doesn't cut it! Now, go to your place and we'll start!"
"Fine."
Kajimoto's repressed chuckles bubbled past his throat, and it burst out so suddenly that everyone turned to him and in a few moments of tense silence, one by one, started laughing as well.
He had never seen an executive producer being scolded that way by his subordinate.
Maybe this project, although another yaoi drama, was not such a bad thing after all...
TSUZUKU
A/N: I've cut the explicit stuff from here. If you want to read the whole thing, then, please read this livejournal post: http/ This is the most "adult" series I've ever produced, since I finally decided to take away all my inhibitions in fiction writing and just "go for it!" ;;; I hope it's working. XD Well, what do you think of this chapter?
1 Roughly translates to "But"
2 Roughly translates to "Of course."
3 A saying: "Rise of the lower class." ... or something along those lines. ;
4 Hiyoshi's seiyuu, Iwasaki Masami, is the producer of Mobile Suit Gundam's movie trilogy. This is an AU... remember? X3
5 Aisare Sugite Kodoku, a boys love drama starring Kajimoto's seiyuu, Koni-tan.
6 Japanese comic books. These things, as you guys know, read from right to left.
7 Roughly translates to "I don't want to."
8 Roughly translates to "I absolutely don't want to."
9 Ishida Akira starred as Xellos in the anime Slayers.
10 He never sang in the anime Saiyuki... the only one he has is this weird thing where the character he's playing, Cho Hakkai, spoke while background music is being played. It's entitled "Sei Mei Sei"
11 Brad Crawford from "Weiß Kreuz".
12 You all know why this is here. XD