Sasuke. She used to spend hours thinking about him. Recreating scenarios in her head. In them she had managed to convince Sasuke to stay, and with time she'd melted away his drive for revenge. Sometimes it was Naruto who had brought him back; she imagined them walking into Konoha village side by side, battered and bruised but smiling in their rekindled friendship. When she wasn't reinventing the past, she'd wonder if he had found the power that he'd sought. But her thoughts were always doused with fear whenever she thought of him. It was not a conscious fear, it was background; like a sky, always present, but never acknowledged. And sometimes, when loneliness weighed heavily upon her, she dared to wonder if he ever thought of her.

She'd spent her childhood filled with thoughts of him. She saw only him, wanted only him. But now as she neared adulthood she felt herself saddened by it. She'd once told Naruto that they were still children in many ways. "We're not the kids we used to be, but we're still only seventeen," she recalled telling him. And even as she had spoken those words with a voice full of playfulness she couldn't help but wonder where her childhood had gone. When did we cross that line? She'd wondered as her gaze lingered upon Naruto's solemn face. Even when she'd finally learned of the cruel path he'd been forced to walk, the Naruto that she knew was still very much the child at heart. A heart that knew no limitations, no bounds. She had not lied about that. It is what she cherished and envied most about her friend.

"You have touched so many with your heart…"

She could remember a time when Naruto was nothing more than an annoyance. The class idiot who occasionally made a laughing riot of himself; who'd joined in the laughter, oblivious to the fact that he was the one being laughed at. It was meant to be cruel and pointed, but he hadn't noticed. And I was the same…I was also cruel. She hated to remember. It wasn't her participation that bothered her so much as the realization that she also did it to be cruel. She had never understood why the boy had been so hated by so many; the silent sneers, and the cold looks. These things had not gone completely unnoticed by her. She used to cast him looks of pity, but never had it in her to reach out to him. Sakura was still too much like the others; she could sympathize, but Naruto still remained an untouchable. He was not the sort you made friends with.

Eventually even her lingering sympathies for him had faded. She'd had no more room for pity and sympathetic glances. The shy and introverted Sakura had faded along with those sentiments. She'd been replaced by a forceful girl; too obsessed with her own ambitions, and thoughts consumed by the Uchiha boy. She gained perspective and lost it all at once.

How do you tell someone that you take it all back? They had developed so dramatically since they'd first crossed paths in the playground. Those children had left them a long time ago. She imagined that their spirits still lingered somewhere in the schoolyard and in the classrooms; their ghostly laughter chiming within the lonesome walls of the school corridors. How do you apologize for being a child and behaving in childish ways? Maybe you don't. Perhaps there are some things you never take back. What use is it to apologize for the person that no longer exists inside you?

"I really wanted it to be you…"

She had never told him how his kiss had made her feel. It would have been pointless; hurtful, even. She had already hurt him enough. Nevertheless, there were moments when she'd wanted to tell him; much like that day. She was not blind to his affections. Sakura realized that he had still been in love with her. She could see it in the looks he gave her; the longing, the gentleness, and even the sadness that reflected in his eyes. She knew that look intimately from hours of staring into that gleaming lake. That is how she knew that Naruto had still been in love with her on that day when she met up with him by the lake outside of Konoha Village those many months ago.

"I won't be returning for some time," he had told her as they'd neared her house that evening.

"What are you talking about?"

"An assignment." He paused as if mentally choked by the words. It was almost laborious for him to continue. "There are still some factions in the east that are resisting peace, and well, several of us are being sent out to accompany a negotiations team."

Sakura nodded slowly, absorbing the meaning behind his words.

"You're not expecting success, are you?"

"I'm not…" He stared up at the starlit sky, his eyes distant and distracted. "Tsunade doesn't think that they will accept our terms for peace. It seems that they grow restless for war. And we have no choice but to put a stop to them before it breaks out beyond their factions and—"

"—destroys everything we've struggled for," she finished for him.

"We've already lost so much to get here. If we lose this too, then…"

It will all have been for nothing.

Death on the battlefield. When they'd first gone into war, they all had a surreal notion of death. In their short lives they had seen enough of it to understand it. But they had never experienced the loss of a friend or a family member. She could still remember the look on the older ninjas faces as they headed off to war; the looks they cast upon the enthused young fighters, inexperience and naïve. At first she thought they were regarding them as weak and incapable, it was only after the first blood that Sakura realized that it was pity and compassion. They knew what we would lose.

"Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura whispered.

Naruto turned away. "I know it's cruel to them," he began, a nervous flutter in his throat. "But sometimes, I can't bear to hear their names."

He closed his eyes until he had regained himself and said, "I don't know why I'm like this. I would've never thought like this before."

Sakura pressed her palm upon his cheek.

"I know," she said. And she did. Sakura knew him better than most, possibly even better than he knew himself.

He seemed relaxed now. She pulled her hand away and forced a broken smile.

"Even though it's selfish," she began. "I don't want you to go."

She wrapped her arms around him and held him in a firm embrace, her face buried in the warmth of his chest. It seemed like life had finally begun to settle down, and yet here they were again. She couldn't bear to lose another friend, especially not one as dear as him. It's not like he's marching into death, she tried to cajole herself. It's a mission like any other.

"It's okay," he said, his hand stroking her hair. "Team seven is indestructible, 'kay? I'll be back soon and we'll be squabbling in no time. I'll even show you my new sexy no jutsu."

"Stupid," she muttered. Naruto had tried to offset the mood, but it only made her sadder. I'm going to miss this stupid dolt.

Sakura could not bring herself to pull away. First we lost Sasuke, and now I might also lose you. Despite her usually collected disposition, she felt the sudden urge to cry.

Naruto cradled her face with his warm calloused hands and pressed a kiss against her forehead. His lips lingered before finally pulling away from her embrace.

"Why does it always turn out like this?" She asked, her cheeks burning, and consumed with a sudden sense of déjà vu.

"I don't really have to answer that, do I?"

"No."

Hands still cupping her face, he pulled her chin up, bringing her face close to his until she could feel his breath against her own. His eyes had that familiar look again, alarming her instincts to pull away.

"Do you remember that promise, Sakura?"

"No," she lied, eyes turned away, unable to match his gaze. She had hoped that this would never come up; that he would leave it up to her devices, and allow for it to eventually be forgotten. More than anything, she had not wanted to return that kiss.

Sakura realized that she had begun to tremble and feared that he would notice under the scrutiny of his penetrating stare. After a long pause he pulled his hands away and jammed them into his pockets.

"I guess it was too much to ask for," he said.

Sakura did not reply and she would not answer him for a long time.

~X~

There had been no official reports on the Containment Mission in over a month. It hadn't taken long before negotiations had broken down, and the fighting had erupted. Once the fighting broke out, it had become a slow strategic showdown between the renegade faction and the Konoha Ambassadorial outpost. Last they heard, direct battle was proving to be unsuccessful in containing the faction, and the squad leader had opted to go into hiding and take down the faction from within.

Surprisingly, Sakura found herself much too busy to stress with worry. Tsunade had her, along with many others, occupied with a slew of A-missions in an attempt to rebuild Konoha's image as a strong nation. Not to mention their ongoing medic-nin lessons and the endless mission reports.

"Still no word?" Ino asked as soon as she spotted Sakura walking out of the Hokage's office. Sakura shook her head, too exhausted to greet her friend properly.

Ino reflexively rubbed the scarring beneath her jaw. It was a jagged scar that ran down her neck and snaked across her shoulder. For Sakura, that mark was a constant reminder of the limitations that accompanied her healing abilities. As skilled and as talented as she was, there were still some things she could not undo, lives she could not bring back…Even though she had managed to save Ino's life, the guilt of that scar still haunted her. When Sakura could finally offer Ino some hope for a less conspicuous scar, she was surprised that her friend had shirked away from that offer. She supposed Ino had her reasons.

"Hmm. At this point Shikamaru and the others are starting to get worried. I'm getting worried too. I'm just surprised that you don't seem all that affected."

"It's simple," Sakura replied. "He promised me that he would come back."

"Yep, that sounds like something he would say."

Sakura smiled. It was easier to speak lightheartedly about their worries.

"Ayumi would be relieved to hear that. You know how big of a crush she has on him," Sakura said, grinning broadly.

Ino nodded. "Too bad the poor kid doesn't have a chance."

"I don't know," Sakura countered. "Fifteen and cute as a button. I don't see how Naruto could resist."

Ino cleared her throat. "Excuse me," she chided. "But we're gonna need a second opinion on this one."

"What?"

"You forgot one tiny little bitty detail here."

"Oh, not this again." Sakura mentally braced herself.

If there is one thing Ino does not know how to do, it's when to quit.

"I see the way you look at him." Sakura's eyes widened with surprise. Now this she was not expecting. Ino usually went off on some exhausted rendition on how much Naruto's heart belonged to Sakura. As guilty as she felt for not returning his affections, it was a tired argument.

"When I see you two together, it's like watching a pair of lovers who are afraid of getting close."

"Is that how we seem like to you?"

"No. It's not just me."

So, everyone sees us that way.

Even their small world insisted on pushing them together. It was more than a little cruel; trying to force a lie. Weren't they damaged enough already?

"It's not like I don't care about him," Sakura replied defensively. "I just…"

She had wanted to tell him how warm it had made her feel. The hot rush of blood and the rapid pulsations of her heart beat; she was overwhelmed by it. But how do you say this and then tell him that you cannot return his feelings? Wouldn't that be more hurtful? Her lips had ached when he pulled away, and it shamed her to think how she'd wanted to him to kiss her again.

"Someday, when this war has ended, give me back this kiss. Promise me this much."

She had never answered him, but her silence had been as good a promise.

"They're back! Katou and his team are back!" A boy shouted as he ran past her. Sakura looked up toward the large entrance door. A small band of ninjas were visible in the distance.

"Naruto oniichan!" she heard a second voice call out from behind her. Before she could even think to turn around, Konohamaru went dashing past her. Sakura froze where she stood. Naruto? Is it really…

She strained her eyes to focus on the ninjas that were making their way into the village. They were barely silhouettes, but she could already recognize the familiarity of their forms. Without realizing it, Sakura began toward them; her steps slow and hesitant. Konohamaru sprang toward one of the ninjas and clung to his torso. It was now that Sakura could clearly see that it was him. She also felt the childish urge to run toward him and envelop him with a tight hug. But she restrained herself, and moved forward with great composure.

Konohamaru smiled as Sakura approached them and coyly scampered away. Naruto grinned, his eyes admiring her graceful form.

"Sakura-chan," he said, reverting to his old nickname for her. "Miss me much?"

Sakura remained silent, her expression unmoved.

"I said I would be back didn't I? Now we can go ahead and squabble all we want."

"Stupid," she finally said and sprung toward him, clinging tightly to him.

He smelled of dirt and sweat and the hands that held her were calloused and clammy, but it only brought her greater comfort. It made him real.

"Why does it feel like we're always moving in circles?" He asked her.

I've been afraid, she wanted to say. All this time, I've been afraid of keeping that promise, because I know…

They'd been teammates for so many years and friends for about as long. They'd grown up together; seen each other day in and day out throughout their childhood. Argued and laughed together and fought alongside each other. It was safe to say that Sakura knew him about as well as he knew himself.

I know.

Naruto had not asked her for hope when he instigated that promise. He was not asking that she might someday reconsider her feelings for him.

If I do what you ask of me…

He was asking her to put an end it and finally set him free. Free of her, free of his feelings for her. She hadn't even admitted her own feelings to herself yet.

I'll lose you.

"I won't keep that promise," she told him, her voice chocked. "I won't do it."

Naruto looked down at her in surprise.

I'm not prepared to do that…I'm not prepared to let you go.