Much ado about nothing
By Charlie Chaplin 2
Surprise, surprise, it's Shakespeare's 'Much Ado About Nothing' with Sailor Moon characters (Senshi x Shitennou –AU, no powers or such). Yay! And this time I think I'll actually finish this fic, I have a plot with no holes! Wohoo! It shouldn't be too long either, though I suppose it won't exactly be short… The basic storyline is the same as the original play, but of course, to make it interesting there will be a few twists, (and this is going to be a happy fic!). Well sorry for the lack of original title, but I think Shakespeare did a pretty good job of it, so why fix it if it ain't broken, eh?
Ok, on with the show…oh and I don't own sailor moon! (27/01/06) As a small note, I've actually made a few itsy changes, just correcting my spelling and grammar, nothing major. I have changed the way Posthumous and Imogene are spelt because my spell checker keeps on doing it automatically so it just pissed me off…damn, stupid, electronic devices… and finally I've realised that my chapters are all different sizes, so I've just divided them differently, all the text is the same as when first published (well except for the new chapter bit in Act 1 sc iii…)
Act 1 Scene i
On the outskirts of the beautiful Italian town of Messina, is where we will set our story. There, among the trees and hills that scattered the countryside stood a large house, almost white from the dry heat of the day. It was centuries old, built in a fine and rosy sandstone that blushed pink in the summer evenings, the people who lived there ran around blissfully happy in their home, laughter was often heard, and the pitter-patter of sandals (or that of bare feet on especially hot days). There was the odd, high-pitched shriek every so often, when a frog or grasshopper would suddenly decide to leave its place by the pond and investigate what the house held, but it was a rare occurrence and often followed by giggles which the wind carried across to the sea. To reach this welcoming and grand villa, one had to first walk through the main white gates at its entrance. High and menacing, they served as a reminder that those inside the house were precious and needed to be guarded; once through them, one went along the straight and inviting gravelled path rolling though the impressive front yard, decorated with lemon and olive trees, and a herb garden on the right hand side, even from the furthermost room, one could smell mint when they woke up in the morning and jasmine before they went to bed at night.
The house itself was three stories high and held large airy rooms with grand balconies. The building possessed attractive halls with festive murals and mosaics on the floors, ceilings and walls; the kitchen boasted two enormous stoves and a very cool underground storage chamber for keeping imported Egyptian beer and anything else that needed to stay out of the hot afternoon sun. There was a well kept garden in the back, complete with its own maze and several beautifully sculpted marble fountains. If one looked eastwards, they would see the sparkling blue of the Mediterranean, speckled with the white sails of merchant ships and the tiny wooden boats of the local fishermen. While on the west side of the house were numerous wine fields, the meadows that had once been covered in long wild grass now were alternating strips of green grape vines and the yellowed dirt paths in between them, snaking their way from one end of the fields to the other. At the time this story takes place, the fruits on the vines were ripe and ready for plucking. Shining with the heat of the sun, they lovingly invited their harvesters to release them from their connection with Mother Earth.
A man was hidden under his well worn straw hat, he wore a simple white shirt and loose linen trousers, his soft moccasin shoes were covered in the dry white dust of the dirt path; he gently clasped a bunch of grapes in his left hand, admiring the quality of the maroon coloured orbs, he smiled at the prospect of a good year. With his right he quickly and cleanly cut the grapes at their stem and then gently placed them into the open box by his feet, this box was almost full, after a few more bunches he would have to lift it up and carry it to the other end of the field and get a new one. He lifted his hat from his head and wiped his sweaty brow on his sleeve, his white hair plastered to his skin. Although he had seen many years, his youthful locks had not left him; they were still long - down to his shoulder blades – and as vibrant as ever. The younger men in the household, and especially the women, always berated him for staying out in the afternoon heat, 'it is too much strain for you my dear,' they would say, 'let the servants handle the fields,' or, 'uncle Artonio, please come and rest in the library, there are plenty of people to cut the grapes.' But the servant boys didn't know how to handle the fruits properly, and he had made a promise to his brother-in-law that he would look after the fields for him, what kind of man would he be if did not keep to his word? Although he had to admit, it was becoming harder to bend down and pick up the boxes, perhaps after this one he would go inside and have a glass of his wife's famous lemonade. He carefully cut a few more bunches and laid them in the box, he slowly lifted it, it wasn't too heavy and not to bulky for him to carry, he smiled in satisfaction, he wasn't too old, not yet, despite what they all said.
He called over to a young boy on one of the other vines, the boy looked up immediately and ran to meet him, he seemed no more than nine years old with dark curly hair and piercing blue eyes, like his mother, "yes father?" he asked, eyes wide with curiosity.
"Come my son, let us go in for something to drink, the sun is at its highest point and it would do us no good to sit here and roast in the fields." He shifted the box in arms and started to make his way towards the house.
"But father! Can't I just stay a little longer?" The boy pleaded, "I haven't even filled my first box of grapes yet!"
"No Endymion, you must do as you are told, come, and maybe we can convince your aunt Serenity to let us have some of her baklava before dinner." At that the boy stopped all thoughts of protest and eagerly caught up with Artonio.
As they walked back together from the fields, Endymion took the box from his father's hands, it was too big for his little arms to carry easily but he managed well, being careful not to shake the grapes inside too much. Artonio looked down at his youngest child and smiled, he had been a miracle that one, his birth had been risky due to his mother's age but since then he had brought nothing but joy, he took off his straw hat and placed it on the boy's head, Endymion looked up and smiled a toothy grin, or rather a toothless grin, he had already lost three the week before.
When they finally arrived at the house Lunacia was already waiting for them. She greeted her husband with a kiss and a sharp look in her deep blue eyes which said plainly that she was not happy he was outside in the sun. Endymion handed over a box to one of the servants who then went to place it with the other crates. "Mother, may I go ask Aunt Serenity if we can have some of her baklava?" he asked eagerly tugging at her skirt. His mother bent down and shook her head lightly, causing her dark hair to shake delicately, "no my dear, your aunt is busy talking with a messenger, it appears we may have guests soon. Go play with Francesco for now and later, after dinner you may ask Serenity for her treats." Endymion sighed, but seeing the wooden swords the servant held in his grasp he smiled brightly, taking one he ran down the hall shouting, "you can't catch me Francesco! You can't catch me!"
Lunacia's eyes followed her son as he ran down the hall, she smiled lightly to herself before turning to glare at her husband, "Artonio, you should not be out so long in the sun, especially at this time of the day! Do you want to catch sun-stroke? Do you have no consideration for me? Who do you think has to take care of you when you are ill, hmm?"
Artonio looked his wife up and down; the years had been kind to her, Lunacia's face was still youthful, her pink lips were still full. The yellow linen dress she wore contrasted well with her dark flowing hair, her cheeks were just as rosy as the day he had met her and her deep eyes sparkled with just the same amount of annoyance. He chuckled to himself, placing a kiss on her cheek, "Ah my dear wife, should I ever fall ill, I would want no nurse but you."
"Hmph, well, I see the sun has not frazzled your ability to flirt," she replied, though her eyes softened and a smile graced her lips again. "Come, we should see what's going on," she said. In response he offered her his arm and the two started walking through the corridor, "Serenity is out front with a messenger," Lunacia continued, "I have a feeling Don Pedro and his troops will be paying us a visit again." Artonio smiled at that, "excellent! It's been a while hasn't it?"
"Indeed it has!" She replied as they turned the corner, "With the wars finally over, I hope they may be able to stay longer than last time, the girls seem to have so much more fun when the house is a little fuller."
"Yes, it'll be nice to finally have some good old masculinity around this place, all you women have been so overbearing these past few months! 'Arty do this, neh neh neh, Arty do that, blah, blah, blah, don't eat too much fat…"
"Don't be silly! You aren't looking after your health properly, so someone has to!"
"Urgh, well if you think your cooking is helping my health, I'd hate to see what you'd do to kill a person!"
"Ooh, you old goat! You take that back this instant," Lunacia answered hotly. Artonio simply smiled mischievously, "Make me!" he replied as he slapped his wife hard on the backside and sped off ahead – well, as fast as an old man could. Lunacia stood rooted in shock for a few seconds as the sound of a chuckling Artonio disappeared down the hall, her hands were still reflexively clutching her derriere, her eyebrows raised up high passed her forehead and her mouth stuck into a surprised 'o' shape. After a few seconds of recovery she narrowed her eyes and said in a low voice, "oh, he's going to get it," and chased after him.
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She stood regally before the visitor, her long blond hair had changed many years ago and now matched the simple but elegant white dress she wore, she was one of those rare breeds of women whose age did nothing but add to their beauty. Her eyes shone with wisdom and yet still managed to convey a sort of youthful happiness; her smile was welcoming and barely revealed the perfect teeth hidden behind her lips, she was tall and positively exuded authority and peacefulness. Two young women stood behind her, and could not be more different from each other, the first was quite small, and aside from her hair being a shimmering gold and tied up into a half-looped ponytail, she was the exact image of her mother, she had light blue eyes and an innocent face, with rosy cheeks, pale skin and all the other features of a heroine in a fairy tale. The other was taller, her thick ebony hair reached her lower back in very loose waves and almost shone crimson in the sun, she had piercing dark eyes, high cheekbones, and a straight nose. She stood with her head held high, almost so that she could deliberately give the impression of looking down on someone, it emphasised her delicately long neck, which glittered from the light reflected off her dangling earrings.
They had been in herb garden collecting leaves when the young soldier had galloped up to their home, jumped off his horse and practically demanded to speak to the head of the household. When Serenity and the girls arrived to greet him at the gates, he bowed deeply and took a slow breath before introducing himself and proclaiming in the most courteous of tones that with the end of the long war, Don Pedro and his brave compatriots had finally was going home. He also announced that the good Don had the intention of stopping by to visit Serenity.
"So who will Don Pedro be bringing with him?" Serenity asked.
"His most trusted companions my lady," answered the messenger, "and Don John has the honour of riding with the group," he added after a small pause.
"Don John! But I thought he was a slimy trait- Oof!" Hero bent over in pain, clutching at her side and concentrated hard on not crying, but it was no use, Beatrice's elbows were just too sharp and she had somehow managed to knock the wind out of her. Her cornflower eyes welled up in tears and she started whimpering. Beatrice rolled her eyes at her cousin's blubbering, the girl was pathetic. The messenger looked oddly at Hero and then turned his attention back to Serenity, "Don Pedro, as always, will be accompanied by loyal and brave Posthumous, there is also the lord Claudio who has shown much valour in recent battles and saved the lives of his entire regiment," Hero hiccupped as she tried to breath in, still holding her side; the messenger raised a dark brown eyebrow and looked from Hero to Beatrice who plastered on a huge fake smile, he started to speak, "Is she…", "She's fine," Serenity dismissed the matter quickly and changed the subject, "I have heard much of a Bassanio, is he also a member of the group?"
"Yes my lady, he saved both Posthumous and Claudio from certain death, I was there myself, Posthumous was bleeding profusely from the gut and Claudio had a particularly nasty gash across his-" "Eww, I don't want to hear about bloo-ouch! Mother, tell Beatrice to stop hurting me!"
Serenity sighed, and for a moment her façade of perfect tranquillity fell, "Beatrice, will you be so kind as to take your cousin inside, I think her dress may be a little too tight, and must be causing her to feel faint in the sun." Beatrice curtseyed to the soldier, and nodded to her aunt. She took Hero by the arm and was about to drag her away when she stopped, she couldn't help but ask one question, "If you don't mind my asking dear sir," before the soldier could reply she asked anyway, "Is seignior Benedick still living?" At that Serenity put a hand to her head, so much for showing guests how well bred they all were… the soldier's green eyes crinkled in confusion, "Of course he is, in fact seignior Benedick recently lead a rather risky attack-",
"Was he maimed in anyway?" She interrupted as innocently as possible.
"He was slightly injured in battle," Cesario replied.
"Did he happen to lose his power of speech?" Beatrice asked hopefully, Hero let out a small giggle.
"I don't believe so my lady," he ran a hand through his wavy brown hair, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the situation.
Beatrice continued in her tirade of questions, "Is he arriving with Don Pedro?"
"Yes, he was with the others when I left them a few hours ago." He shifted in his spot, the dark haired beauty might have been shorter than him, but she could certainly cause one to feel uncomfortable. "My lady, do you have something against seignior Benedick? I can assure you he is the worthiest and bravest of men, I myself can vouch for his character," he said.
"I'm sure you can, but I just think it's a pity that they exhaust all those poor horses galloping here, when they are travelling with an ass big enough to carry everyone on his back." With that she pulled Hero with her towards the house, loudly scolding her along the way.
"I apologise for my niece, you must not take her seriously," said Serenity to the stunned messenger, "She and seignior Benedick have been having a war of words since the day they met, they bear no real ill will towards each other, however, I must warn you, expect to hear more of it when he arrives."
Cesario smiled, "well then at least our visit should be interesting." Serenity smiled back and called over one of the servants, "Margaret, please take good care of this young soldier, make sure his horse is well installed at the stable and make sure the kitchen knows that there is a change in plan, we have guests tonight, we're going to need a feast!"
Serenity turned to the soldier, "if there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask."
"Well actually my lady, I do have one request," Cesario said, his voice sounding shy and slightly unsure, the polite confidence gone from before, "if it's alright with you, I was hoping I could stay in a room next to where you intend to put Don Pedro, I am his personal squire you see, and prefer to be as close to him as possible, so I can be on hand if he needs me-"
"Of course, I understand completely."
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"Well I still don't think you needed to hurt me so hard!" Hero was trying to keep up the same pace as Beatrice but was finding it difficult to trot and complain at the same time.
"If I hadn't incapacitated you, you would have bloody well kept on talking!" Beatrice admonished as they made their way back to the house, she was in no mood to be nice to her cousin, there was much to be done and the thought of his arrival irked her. She moved quickly, causing the gold and copper red beads in her hair to clink against each other, her metal earrings chimed in the rhythm of her steps, the copper bracelets jingled lightly on her wrist and for a second, Hero thought of her as walking music. She smiled at the thought, her irritation dissipating, she could never be angry at people for long, it wasn't in her nature.
"Oh that's not true! Personally I think you just like causing people pain, it makes you feel all powerful in some strange way." Before Beatrice could make her outraged reply Hero quickly changed the subject, "Ooh, soldiers are coming!" she clapped her hands in glee, "Don Pedro and Posthumous and Benedick! What fun it will be to have them here! Of course, we have not met the others, but I'm sure they'll be nice too, the more the merrier as uncle says! We have to tell Portia and Imogene! They'll be so excited!" If there was one thing that annoyed Beatrice more than the bubbly blond cousin by her side, it was the thought of telling the other bubbly blond cousin about the visitors, "Hero, you are most welcome to tell anyone you like, just make sure that I don't have to come with you. It can be your special job." She added the last part in the most patronising voice possible, Hero chose to ignore her.
Just as they reached the front porch of the house, Artonio rushed passed them, "Father!" Beatrice called after him, looking perplexed, "You haven't seen me girls!" he shouted back as he dashed to hide behind an olive tree, (which was futile considering its small size.)
Soon after, Lunacia sprinted out, stopping in front of the pair, "Girls, where is he?" she asked, slightly out of breath. Beatrice just stood there, not quite believing the lack of maturity her parents sometimes showed. Hero, however, plastered on a huge smile, greatly amused at the antics, "Uncle Arty told us to say that we haven't seen him, but just so you know, he is by that olive tree." She pointed to a very obvious uncle. Lunacia sighed and shook her head lightly, "I will never know why I married that man. Where is Serenity?"
"She's already gone inside; she went through the west door with the cute messenger-squire-y boy, and Don Pedro is coming!" Hero jumped up and down at that part, but Lunacia was not as excited as her niece was about the news, "Oh dear, it is as I feared. Daughter," she turned and addressed Beatrice, "please make sure that Portia has enough salve for soothing muscles, you know how your father gets delusions of youth whenever they come…"
Beatrice smiled, when Pedro was last here, Artonio had asked if he could train with them and sprained his shoulder; when he was younger he had been a commander in the army, but that was long before her birth, apparently after a particularly long stint away in Northern Italy, he decided to leave the army life and married her mother, they had been happy together, completely inseparable ever since. It was a love found only in stories, romantic, sweet and true, and she prayed to God that it would never happen to her. "Yes mother, and shall I go hide his sword?"
Lunacia smiled, "Yes, I think that would be wise." She turned and faced the front yard, "Come out you silly man! I have more important things to do than chase you all day!"
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"Portia! Portia? Portia, where are you!" Hero was searching for her cousin, dashing across the halls like a mad rabbit. Her skirt was lifted above her knees so she wouldn't trip over it; not really caring about propriety at the moment. As she whizzed passed one of the rooms on the guest floor, Portia popped her head out, "Hero? I'm in here!" She answered in her soft voice before ducking back into the room and speaking to the maids inside, "make sure all the windows are open, then do a light dusting of each room, that's all they need really, but it must be done quickly, they could be arriving within the hour." She spoke lightly yet firmly, with a calm expression on her delicate, porcelain face.
"My lady, are we to air out and prepare both of the guest floors?" Ursula asked.
"I think it would be best, my aunt says there will be about fifteen arriving but we should prepare for more just in case." Ursula nodded and left the room.
"Portia! Portia they're coming!" Puffed out a red faced Hero as she burst through the open doorway. Portia's eyes went wide with panic, "Already!"
"What? Oh no, not yet, soon though, but who told you? It was supposed to be my job!" Her blonde eyebrows frowned in annoyance, causing her to look twelve again.
"Your mother did Hero, have you told Imogene and Beatrice yet?" she asked in appeasement.
"They already know. Well this is no fun; I get to have no part in the preparations. I thought I could have at least been the one to bring the news. Honestly, no body trusts me to do anything around here!" Her shoulders slumped and she cast her eyes down to the floor. Portia's pink lips quirked up into a smile, Hero was just so cute sometimes, small and vulnerable. "Well, if you don't have anything to do, then take the advantage and go get ready silly! You don't want to meet everyone all messed up and sweaty do you? It's not very lady like."
Hero sighed in resignation. "Fine. Can I borrow your pink dress with the short sleeves? It suits me much better than what I have." Portia crossed her arms, "I don't know if you realise this, but I loaned you that dress more than a month ago and I have yet to see it back."
Hero smiled, "I know," she said innocently, "but it's not like you ever wear it, and I figured I had better ask anyway, just to be polite."
Portia rolled her eyes, "Of course you may, and thank you for the thought." Hero's smile broadened, she kissed Portia on the cheek and hurried out the room.
Well there it is! Hope it's satisfactory,
Luv CC2 xx