Chapter 1

Jean stared at the words on the page in front of her, re-reading them for what was probably the tenth time in the span of as many minutes. They weren't making sense to her anymore.

Sitting cross-legged on the window seat in her room, Jean set down the biology text book and turned her attention to the world beyond her room. The younger students were outside enjoying the newest snowfall. It was anarchy as Bobby and his co-conspirator, Lorna Dane, pelted the students with snowballs from the safety of one of the Bobby's ice slides. Iceman was obviously keeping both himself and his girlfriend in steady supply of ammunition, as they were reloading and pelting the opposition much more quickly than the others could keep up. Jubilee was tossing fireworks at them in retaliation (and maybe as a distraction technique), but to no avail. Ray tried to zap them, but Lorna absorbed the bolts easily and zapped Ray right back, grinning evilly. Even Jamie's small army of multiples couldn't keep up.

A part of her longed to go out and play with them, to just be silly for a while. She wasn't even entirely sure she remembered how to have fun like that, but she desperately wanted to try. Without warning, Jean felt her eyes fill with tears, and she quickly scrubbed her hand across her face.

Too much going on. She was spreading herself too thin, burning herself out, stressing herself. She knew it, but she didn't know what to do about it. Between a heavy college course load, training with the team, and teaching the younger students, she had no time to herself. She hardly ever saw Scott anymore, except at meals and during training, and she missed him. She wasn't sleeping, her concentration was slipping, and she was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her emotions in check.

Like now. One minute she was okay, the next she was ready to burst into tears for no apparent reason. She was reaching her breaking point, and she knew it. But she had so many responsibilities, and she couldn't just turn her back on any of them.

Pulling her legs up to her chest, Jean rested her cheek on her knees, staring out the window at the grey sky, and blinking back tears again. God, she had to stop this. It was ridiculous. And it wasn't her. She needed to pull it together.

A gentle rap on her door drew her attention, and she didn't have to ask who it was. Her link with Scott told her it was him. C'mon in, she sent to him, not moving from her position on the window seat.

She heard the door open and close again, and tried not to jump when she felt Scott's hand in her hair seconds later. "What's wrong?" he asked, worry obvious in his voice.

"I'm tired, Scott," Jean admitted softly after a long moment, her voice barely above a whisper as she continued staring out the window. "I don't know if I can do this anymore."

Scott froze, and she could feel his flash of panic through their link. "Tired of… us?" The question was asked tentatively, and he was obviously fighting to keep his voice level.

Turning towards him, Jean shook her head, catching and holding his gaze through his glasses. "No," she assured him. "Never." With a soft sigh, she wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning against him heavily. "You're all that keeps me from snapping completely some days," she admitted, holding him tight. His hand resumed stroking her hair, his other arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, holding her to him.

"Then what?" he probed gently.

I'm tired of everything, she continued telepathically, finding it easier to express herself that way. I'm tired of being hated because of my DNA. I'm tired of fighting against people like the Brotherhood, who don't care that they're making things worse for mutants everywhere by acting like a gang of thugs. I'm tired of not having any time alone with you. I'm tired of feeling stretched in a million different directions at once. I'm tired of having to always be responsible and do the right thing, of having to be an example to the others. I want to be selfish for once and do something for me, not everyone else.

What do you want to do? he sent back. The panic was gone from him now, replaced only with concernName it, Jean, and I'll make it happen.

"I don't know," she said aloud, after a long moment. "That's the problem. I don't want to be like this anymore. I just… I need a break from everything." Looking up at him, she offered a slightly crooked smile. "Everything except you. You I actually need more of."

He smiled back, reaching up to stroke his fingers down her cheek softly. "You've got me," he promised her. And the expression on Scott's face was one she was very familiar with. He was in strategist mode, planning. He nodded decidedly. "Pack a bag. We're leaving in an hour."

Jean blinked at him. "What?"

Chuckling, Scott tangled his hand in her hair, tugging on it playfully. "Go pack. I'm getting you out of here. You're going to get that break." As Jean opened her mouth to protest, he shook his head and gave her a warning look. "Don't even think about giving me a list of reasons why we can't leave. We can and we are."

"But we've got classes, training –"

He cut her off with a kiss. "We can miss a few days of classes, and Logan can take over training," he pointed out, his lips quirking in amusement. "You don't think he'd love a chance to impose a few extra of his extra special Danger Room sessions on the rest of the team?"

Snorting out a soft laugh, Jean arched an eyebrow in concession. "Good point."

Scott smiled down at her, and she felt her stomach flutter. His smile always did that to her. "So pack," he ordered gently. "I'll take care of everything else." He kissed her again, and Jean smiled at his back as he slipped out of her room, shutting the door behind him.

Scott Summers, she decided, shaking her head in bemusement, was a good man. She was awfully lucky to have him. Jean climbed off the window seat and set herself to packing as instructed. A little under an hour later, there was a gentle knock on her door, and Scott poked his head inside her room.

"Ready to go?"

Jean nodded, telekinetically lifting her small suitcase and walking over to the door. "Where are we going?"

Scott grinned and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "How does a private cabin in the mountains sound to you? Huge fireplace, hot tub, widescreen TV with DVD player," he leaned in and brushed his lips over hers, then pulled back, wagging his eyebrows comically, "king size bed."

Laughing, she kissed him back. "Hmmm, sounds like heaven to me," she told him truthfully. All of it did, without a doubt. But there was something especially attractive about the prospect of being able to curl up and actually spend the night with Scott without having to worry about getting up early enough for one of them to slip back to his or her own room before the others woke up. "I love you, y'know," she told him with a smile.

Smiling back, he squeezed her hand again. "I love you, too," he replied. "So let's get out of here."

Jean spared only half a glance back at her laptop and the pile of text books stacked next to it on her desk. Scott was right. It would all wait.

Suitcase floating behind her, Jean let Scott lead her out into the hallway and down the stairs. Once outside, the sounds of the other students could be heard even more clearly, still squealing and shouting and obviously having far too much fun. She smiled to herself, and silently ordered them to have as much fun as they could, for as long as they could. They'd have to grow up soon enough.

Movement out of the corner of her eye drew her attention, and she spotted Bobby and his green-haired passenger ice slide around the mansion. He'd obviously spotted them, because the slide changed direction and he stopped near the front steps as Scott put their bags in the trunk of his car.

"Hey Jeannie," he greeted, cocking his head at her curiously. Lorna peered past him and grinned at Jean, offering a small wave. "Where you goin'?"

"I'm being kidnapped," she replied with a grin, waving back at Lorna. Motioning with her head towards Scott, she shrugged. "I made the mistake of mentioning I wanting a break, and next thing I know, Fearless Leader over there is ordering me to pack."

Scott made a face at her as he came over to her side and slipped an arm around her waist. "You need a break," he corrected. "Want has nothing to do with it."

Bobby was nodding approvingly. "Way to go man," he grinned, then winked at Jean. "We'll all be better off if she chills a bit."

Narrowing her eyes playfully at him, she laughed as Lorna thwapped his shoulder. "Play nice or I'll short out your Playstation console," the younger girl threatened with a smirk, and Jean couldn't not laugh as Bobby rolled his eyes dramatically, but obediently shut up, a grin threatening to split his face. He was so whipped, it wasn't even funny.

Scott tightened his arm around her waist, and motioned towards the car. "We should get going," he suggested, looking at the other two pointedly. Bobby glanced over his shoulder at Lorna with a knowing smirk, a nearly identical expression already on the girl's face.

"Knock it off," Jean grumbled good-naturedly, leaning against Scott. "Go torment somebody else for a few days."

Grinning widely, Bobby shook his head. "No way," he protested. "I'm gonna save it up for you." And with that, the ice slide grew and expanded, and the two of them sped off towards the back of the mansion.

"Do those two together scare you as much as they scare me?" Scott muttered, looking in the direction they'd disappeared.

"Absolutely," Jean laughed, then smiled fondly. "But she's good for him."

With another squeeze of her waist, Scott turned her and urged towards the car. "She is," he agreed. "Who knew Bobby could actually be serious occasionally?"

Jean didn't say anything, just climbed into the passenger seat. She'd known, but that wasn't the point. Bobby had become like her little brother over the years, and she knew him a lot better than Scott did.

She smiled over at Scott as he slid behind the steering wheel and started the engine. He smiled back, and reached over to give her knee a gentle squeeze. Without another word, he put the car in gear and pulled around the driveway. Jean watched in the side-view mirror as the Institute grew smaller and smaller. Finally, it disappeared all together, and she closed her eyes, letting her head fall backwards against the seat.

"You okay?"

Jean smiled, but didn't open her eyes. "Yeah," she assured him. "Just… letting go." She didn't have to say anything else. She knew Scott would understand.

He always did.

Coming soon, Chapter 2

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