Warning one - Stupidity alert. I'm talking about hitting your head against a wall until you pass out stupidity here.
Warning two - OOC-ness. Lots of it and from everyone
Warning three - Plotless. There is nothing deep and meaningful in this and it goes nowhere. Meant to be read for fun.
Section Four - Others around you
During the courting process, it's important to be mindful of the others around you, especially parents, relatives and potential rivals of the peron you are courting. Failure to obtain acceptance from each important person can make the coutring process long, arduous and hellish.
XX
Fai felt his hand twitch on the chequered tablecloth. Kurogane had bailed on him, using an old excuse that he was going to assist Syaoran in shopping for supplies in order to be as far away from the wizard as possible, particularly during this awkward time.
As Fai's mind silently skimmed through all the ways in which he could get back at Kurogane for deserting him, Sakura set her cup of tea down.
This was not how it was supposed to go. It was meant to be Kurogane facing Sakura across the square table and he was meant to be the one safe with Syaoran, possibly laughing over Kurogane's plight, not the other way around.
His hand twitched again.
Shrugging off any doubts and fears he held; he propped his elbows on the table and let his head rest in his hands.
"Well, Sakura-chan, what was it that you wanted to know again?" he smiled pleasantly, as if they were having a normal conversation over a light lunch, which, in a way, they were.
Sakura smiled nervously and began fiddling with her teaspoon, not allowing her eyes to meet Fai. "Why you and Kurogane-san keep fighting. Do you really not get on well with him?"
Fai looked bemused. "What do you think?"
"You two seem very close," she started slowly, tracing circles on the tablecloth with her spoon. "You also seem very attached and loyal to each other but…" she trailed away.
"But?"
This time, Sakura looked at him.
"You're always fighting one another. It's hard to sleep at night with all the noise that you two make."
"Sorry princess, I'll make sure to keep things down at night," Fai held up his hands innocently but Sakura did not look satisfied.
"Things have changed. You always go to bed earlier, Fai-san, and then Kurogane-san goes in to check on you and we never see either of you until the morning." She paused wondering whether to go on.
Fai sipped his tea with caution, his eyes never leaving Sakura's face.
"…I was wondering if I had done anything wrong, or if you're going to bed early because I make you uncomfortable," she blushed.
"Not at all!" He hurried to rest her doubts at ease. "If it was something like that Kuro-tan wouldn't be checking on me like he does."
At that, Sakura perked up a little. "So you two really don't fight at night, not even play fighting?" she asked nervously.
"How do I explain this?" Fai scratched the side of his face with a finger. "Well, it started last month. Kuro-rin and I are sort of…well, in that sort of relationship."
"That sort of relationship?" Sakura cocked her head to one side, plainly not understanding.
Fai paused, wondering how to explain it to someone so blissfully naive. "Like your mother and father," he settled upon.
Sakura made the tiniest of frowns upon her lips. "My mother…I don't really remember her."
"Oh, sorry."
"It's okay. My father was very warm and kind and he more than made up for it! So what exactly is 'that' sort of relationship?"
Silently cursing Kurogane for leaving him, Fai wondered how he was going to get his point through with minimal embarrassment and, hopefully, without scarring the princess for life. Sex was not a big deal in his world, not that everyone went around doing it, but it certainly wasn't taboo to talk openly about it.
However, not knowing just what Sakura's world was like, he wondered if he would be breaking some sort of ancient, moral code if realisation finally dawned upon her. Sakura was a nice girl, he reasoned, but he was not quite prepared to be burned at the stake for teaching her such things if they ever were to land in Sakura's world.
Behind her tiny teacup, Fai realised that Sakura was still looking at him, patiently waiting for a better explanation that would clear the clouds of confusion currently hovering above her head.
"Have you ever seen a dog when it's…aroused?"
"What?"
Fai shook his head, wincing at his own crude analogy. "No, no, forget it," he dismissed the idea with a wave of his other hand. "Well, you've certainly seen two people kiss, right?"
Sakura hesitated. "…Yes," her cheeks began to tingle with pink.
What was she going to be like if even the thought of two people kissing made her turn cherry blossom pink?
Bravely, Fai grinned and pushed on.
"When people get to a certain age kissing isn't really enough to express their love, so they do…other things."
"Like hugging?"
Fai's smile was weak at best. "Sort of, but naked."
"Naked hugging?" Sakura seemed just as, if not more, perplexed.
Why was he even doing this? It would be easier to simply let the young princess believe that they were indeed fighting almost every night, but night after night of their constant antics proved that they could no longer go on without explaining their actions to some degree. Fai believed that Sakura and Syaoran would soon realise the truth. Of course, Kurogane had bailed on him before the big talk.
Better now than never, rather sooner than later, don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today and so many other 'words of wisdom' floated to the top of Fai's head. Sayings Fai wished he could wipe from existence.
"For me and Kuro-pon…those sounds you hear at night are us…expressing our love for each other." For the umpteenth time, he tried to explain his situation.
"By hugging naked?" she wondered.
It was not that Sakura was particularly dim, on the contrary, she could be unsettlingly sharp at times, it was just that the happened to be princess incredibly innocent. Perfectly and painfully so.
Had he been anyone else, there would have been sweat beading his forehead. However, being the clam, composed, happy-go-lucky Fai he presented to the world, he merely smiled.
"Let's start again, shall we?"
Though before Fai could actually start again, the door swung open and Syaoran emerged, his arms laden with paper bags, Syaoran announcing "I'm back!" as he strode through the door.
"Syaoran-kun! Welcome back!" Sakura's attention was ripped away from their conversation for a few blissful moments to eagerly greet him.
Syaoran smiled and nodded back, though Fai noticed that he had entered alone.
"Where's Kuro-wan?"
"Fighting outside with Mokona," Syaoran replied as if Fai should have known that too. He supposed that he should have. His adorable Kuro-woof-woof, it appeared, was still adamant about letting Fai go solo.
Then something dawned on the princess.
"Since they fight a lot too, is Kurogane-san in 'that' kind of relationship with Mokona too?"
"God no!" Fai slapped a hand across his mouth.
Sakura quirked her head sideways, whilst Syaoran was giving him an equally puzzled look. He had not meant to burst out like that, it was rare for him to loose leash of his emotions but several highly disturbing images had just flashed across his mind eye. He could hardly be blamed. "I…I mean…no, he isn't," he finished rather lamely.
"What's this about?" Syaoran asked inquiringly.
Before Fai could answer, Sakura piped in with a cheerful voice; "Fai-san is explaining to me why there are strange thumps and bangs coming from the bedroom he shares with Kurogane-san."
"Yes, I've often wondered about that too," Syaoran said, setting down the bags in a corner.
Oh God, now Syaoran-kun is wondering.
"Fai, are you done talking yet?"
The door swung open a second time. This time, Kurogane entered; his arms were also full of supplies. Behind him, flashes of white bounced happily across the ground.
Fai suppressed a shudder as he remembered what the princess had said.
Is Kurogane-san in that kind of relationship with Mokona?
He had to beat those nasty, indecent images out of his mind.
"Kurogane-san, Fai-san was explaining about your relationship with each other," Sakura chirped happily, glad to see them back.
Kurogane entered, shutting the door behind him. Fai noticed how slowly he was walking towards them, cautiously, as if he thought that one of them would spontaneously combust.
"You're not freaked out, are you?" he eyed Sakura and the Syaoran, talking with deliberate slowness.
Sakura blinked once…twice. "About having 'that' kind of relationship? From what I understand, I don't think that I am."
For some reason, Fai was having unhappy visions of what was about to transpire. Though he often appeared so, he had never been much of an optimist inside.
Kurogane nodded. Fai suspected that he was probably a little relieved despite how he always appeared to never care bout what someone else thought. "That's good, and I promise that I'll try to stop him from making so much noise the next time we fuck."
Fai inwardly winced at Kurogane's crude choice of words. Syaoran looked a little surprised but not particularly scandalised and Sakura….
Sakura simply tilted her head to one side, looked questioningly at Kurogane and said; "…Fuck?"
But her enquiry was partially drowned out by the crash and clatter of jumping teacups as Fai's head hit the table, his spirit leaving him.
XX
Phew! I finally got to the end of this! It's hard writting something like this but I think that it was seriously stupid enough.The next section, will be the second part of the challenge based on the words - stupidly serious, though I'm not exactly sure what that means.Well, please review!