Betrayal Part One- Padmé Amidala
He has left me. I put my trust in him, and he betrayed me.
I married him, carried his children, and gave him a part of me others never had. I know now why Obi-Wan and the Council distrusted him- because he was a nine-year-old. A nine-year-old who had experienced war, slavery, greed and violence at a young age could never walk the path of the Jedi without swaying. That was why they distrusted Anakin Skywalker's future. Why they distrusted my husband, who is standing before me.
No. No, this man is not my Ani. Ani would never do a thing like this. He would never turn to the dark side. He would never kill those whose ranks he was proud to be among. Even though pride was not allowed in the Order. He felt it. And other feelings too. And his feelings have betrayed him. Turned him into a monster. I know this because my Ani- the man I loved dearer than anyone else- could never have killed so many beings.
Could he?
"The Jedi turned against me. Don't you turn against me." I hear him say. I give him the only thing that comes to my parched lips.
"Anakin, you've broken my heart!" And it is true. He has shattered it into a thousand fragments. I never thought that could happen to me - a senator and queen. A mother and wife.
When I was queen, Ani was nine. He helped free Naboo from the Trade Federation. It wasn't only him, though he did destroy the battleship which controlled the droids. Two Jedi were there- Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. I remember Qui-Gon's cremation. I heard Ani ask Obi-Wan "What will happen to me now?"
What would happen? He would grow up to be a killer. He killed the Tuskens first. Then all those Geonosians, droids and Separatists. All dead thanks to his rage. Who is next I wonder. I look up at Anakin and his eyes tell me the answer.
My own eyes are not deceived. He raises his hand- the mechanical one that touched my shoulder when we were married- and I suddenly cannot breathe. That is no Jedi trick. Jedi do not kill. My Ani, who fought so hard for the freedom of the Republic, has been conquered by the dark side. As my vision fades and I gasp for breath, he thrusts the hand forward and I am flung back. My head hits something and everything goes black.
The stark, sterility of the Medi-lab is a sharp contrast to the warm, reassuring look of Obi-wan Kenobi who is leaning over me, his soft hand stroking my hair – seeing me wake he touches my shoulder and leanes downs to whisper in my ear.
"Padme…be still, you are safe."
There's something different about him. His sensitivity seems misplaced, but wholly appropriate as I look up at him. His warm features look down at me. The features which have not lost their warmth. But I can see the hurt of some unknown knowledge. His eyes have lost their confidence. The scars of some unknown battle have touched him deeper than any other wound ever could. It's like his years of being a Jedi weigh heavily on him, burden him in a time of need. But what need could that be? Then I remember…
"Ani…"
"Anakin…" he choked, his eyes quivering with tears I never saw before- even when Qui-Gon was killed "Is gone…"
The reality hit me like a hard lump of stone; my world suddenly falling down around me. I felt light headed and sick. "How…how can that be?" I ask, even though I don't want the answer.
"He fell into a volcano and was killed. His body and the darkness in him survived- but only just. He is more machine now than man, twisted and evil."
I shake my head, though it takes a great deal of effort. "I… can't…"
I can't go on. Anakin is dead. A creature called Darth Vader fills what is left of his body. The pain grows again and I let out a sharp cry- a cry that is from more than the mere pain of childbirth. Obi-Wan takes my hand - the one not holding the japor snippet.
"Save your energy." Obi-Wan wants me to live. "Too many have died these last few weeks. Including Ani…"
No. Ani is alive. I know it in the remains of my heart. He is there - buried under machines and darkness. It is getting hard to breathe.
"Obi-Wan… there is… good in him still… I know it…" I gasp. The effort needed for even this makes me feel weak. Weaker than I am already.
I pretended to be strong. I pretended I could weather anything the war threw at me. I raised my barriers to prove it. And they withstood everything except this.
"What is good is locked within the hate that has filled him." Obi-wan states simply "Anakin Skywalker is dead." he continues. "In that, I have no doubt."
A seething void of emotion and anger boiled inside me at his words. A moment ago he seemed ready to cry, and now how could he be so…cold? Then I reminded myself he was a Jedi. 'And Jedi aren't allowed to cry, I bitterly remind myself. 'But they aren't allowed to love either,' Says another voice inside my head. 'And my Jedi did.
"There is something else…" his tone grim, I felt terror grip me.
"Yes?"
"Padme, you are having twins." It must have taken a great effort for him to tell me.
In that moment I thought my world had ended, but something dramatic happened in me right then. I reflexively move my hands to my stomach, cradling it, the spark of life inside of me releasing all the weight and pain of the last weeks. Then I remember who was the father, the only person it could be…could ever have been.
And terror crushes me.