Lookie! Lookie! An update!
Section 11: Protection and devotion
When you have a target of affection, it is important to protect and care for him/her/it. This does not only earn you brownie points from your target but also boosts confidence, improves skin, makes hair shimmer and, most importantly, keep you together.
XX
The jury filled in along their given seats, the judge took her place at the head of court, guards stood at every door as Fai and Kurogane were escorted to the centre. Their footsteps echoed along the polished wood, as loud as a gong amidst the silence of the court.
"This is annoying," Kurogane ran a hand through his hair, sighing as if he would rather be anywhere else but here right now.
Honestly, Fai would have to agree with him too.
"Relax, we just have to buy some time until Syaoran-kun and the others get here, right?" Fai whispered. "I have this all planned out, so just go with me," he winked and grinned as Kurogane rolled his eyes.
Yes, this was troublesome indeed.
The judge adjusted her powdered wig and tapped her gavial as an announcement that she was about to speak. She was a small, thin creature with equally thin lips and eyes that blinked every other second behind a large pair or glasses.
Kurogane and Fai stood before her, the pedestal on which she stood behind towered above them and they had to crane their necks in order to get a glimpse of her whilst she likewise leered down at them.
As Fai stared into the brilliant view of the judge's nostrils, he wondered just what they had done wrong to get them dragged to court quite so suddenly. Oh yes, that was right, they had been in an alleyway.
Correction, a dark, narrow alleyway, and all dark, narrow alleyways were shady places. No, they had been in a dark, narrow alleyway by themselves, backed against a crumbling, graffiti-splattered wall.
"So, Kurogane-san, Fai-san, you understand why you are here today, correct?" the judge stared imperiously at them.
Kurogane snorted with a look that said that he could possibly give a damn, but it was midday and the court session was interrupting his daily routine.
Fai smiled at him whenever he thought the ninja was not looking. It had been because Kurogane had gotten rather loud that they had been caught. If they had made-out quietly in that dark, narrow alleyway, backed against that crumbling, graffiti-splattered wall, perhaps everything would have been okay.
"You insisted on it," as if he could read the wizard's mind, Kurogane hissed through pursed lips. "Even though we were warned that this world doesn't tolerate that sort of thing."
"Oh, but Kuro-sama, that's because you never give me enough loving that I'm always frustrated," Fai grinned.
"I give you plenty of that, you animal!"
"Order!" the judge slammed her gavial. It was such an annoying thing. "Now, you do understand that you were caught on camera, yes? You also understand that, both of you being male, this kind of disgusting behaviour is not only against the law but is punishable by death, yes?" the judge eyed them coldly.
Fai cleared his throat, stepping forward into the great unknown.
Attempt to buy time until Syaoran-kun comes to the rescue, tactic one: commence.
"Your honour, I'm afraid that you have absolutely no proof of anything whatsoever."
"You were caught by camera."
"And is he trustworthy?"
"I beg your pardon?" the judge blinked.
"This Kameera person, can you really trust what he says? If you ask me, it all sounds a little suspicious," Fai crossed his arms, nodding wisely to his own conclusion.
"A camera, Flowright-san, is an electronic device, it is not a living person!" the judge snapped, staring at him as if he was an imbecile. A few giggles arose from the courtroom. The sound of furious typing from the stenographer ended with a ping of his typewriter and Fai blinked, confused.
"Oh, isn't it?" he asked.
"Idiot," Kurogane mumbled.
However, not to be disheartened, Fai pointed an accusing finger squarely in Kurogane's direction. Let plan number two to buy time until Syaoran-kun arrives commence.
"Well, if it makes any difference, he thought that I was female," Fai stabbed his finger at his partner in crime, grinning all the while.
"What!"
"What!"
Both the judge and Kurogane cried in unison, though the judge looked particularly scandalised whilst Kurogane simply seemed as if he was going to beat the last traces of sense out of the wizard's mind sword or no, as the court exploded into an uproar.
The judge slammed her gavial down, almost shattering it in an attempt to restore order in the courtroom.
"What do you think? I'm cute enough to be mistaken for one, don't you think?" Fai struck a daring pose as the court simmered down.
Kurogane backed away, partly to resist the temptation to hit the wizard where it hurt and partly because such insanity was bound to be contagious.
"You seem quite obviously male to me," the judge coughed dryly, unaffected by each pose Fai struck, which should have by all rights diminished the courtroom into chaos and incited a mass scramble for tissues in order to stop the copious amounts of blood spurting from the nose.
Alas, no such reaction. The people here really were a boring bunch.
"You think so?" Fai ceased modelling. "Well, it was really dark in that alleyway and passion can blur the mind," her winked suggestively, much to the exasperation of his travelling companion, the judge and three quarters of the court.
"Flowright-san, I must remind you that you are under oath, and even if he did think you female, which I highly doubt, what is your excuse for kissing another man?"
Fai paused. "Um…I thought that I was female too?"
"Very funny."
"Um, no wait just a minute!" Fai held up his hand just as the judge seemed on the verge of wrapping things up. "I was drunk!" he cried. "Really, really drunk. In fact, come to think of it, I still am!"
The judge sighed, massaging her temples with the look of someone who really wants to call it a day. "I'm sorry, Flowright-san, but this mockery of a hearing must come to an end soon. You are both obviously guilty and therefore shall be dealt with in a manner suiting your crime."
Fai did not let his protective grin slip for a second, though he failed to notice Kurogane quietly simmering besides him until the ninja finally snapped. "Shut up," he seethed. At first it was so quiet that the stenographer had to ask the people around what was being said. Kurogane paid no attention to any of this however, he was too busy glaring daggers at the judge. "Stop ranting and raving as if anyone actually gives a damn about what you're saying," he glowered.
"Kuro-muu, what are you - " Fai began but Kurogane's expression was shielded from him, darkened and unreadable.
"Let me just tell you that I'm pissed off right now!"
"Is that a threat?" the judge cocked an eyebrow.
Kurogane shrugged. "Take it whichever way you want. I've had enough of this. I was perfectly aware that he was a guy when I did what I did. So what?
"K - Kuro-chi, this wasn't the plan," Fai tried to vainly steer the ninja towards the course that would not lead to certain death.
Kurogane shot Fai a 'like I care' look before turning back to the judge, eyes ablaze. "It's not dirty and it's not disgusting so I'm not going to lie about it anymore. We didn't do anything wrong so there's no need to hide it as if we're ashamed of it."
"Well, in this world, it is technically wrong," Fai piped
Kurogane rounded on the mage "Shut up!" he snapped. "Whose side are you on anyway, damn mage?"
"The side that keeps me away from a painful death for as long as possible." Fai quipped.
"You're such a wuss! Be a man for once!"
"It's because I'm a man that we're in this mess."
"Whatever! Listen!" Kurogane turned back to the judge. "You can pretend to be as high and mighty as you like, frankly I don't care. This isn't a dirty little secret that you're trying to expose. Your damn narrow-minded laws can take a hike! We were kissing, so what?" his yells echoed around th scandalised court room. Several members of the jury had to step outside to breathe. Kurogane grinned slyly. "In fact, I'll give you all a demonstration of how it went."
The ninja grabbed Fai with one hand, pulling the wizard into an embrace, he tilted Fai's chin and kissed him.
A collective gasp ran around the court. The judge furiously banged her gavial down again and again, looking for order.
"You're on fire today, Kuro-sama!" Fai cheered, starry-eyed, as they parted.
The judge banged her gavial to the point of it splintering and the guards by the doors moved in.
"My, this certainly looks grim," Fai attempted to whistle.
"Weren't you griping about staying alive for as long as possible?" Kurogane grunted.
"Well, I was but…" Fai finished with a shrug, not caring to go on.
"Your honour!" the courtroom doors burst open and a young boy strode in, followed shortly by a young girl and her stuffed animal.
"Syaoran-kun!" Fai cheered.
"About time!" Kurogane grunted.
Syaoran ignored both of them, marching straight for the judge instead. "Your honour, please forgive my lateness," he said rather breathlessly and bowed.
"And you would be?" the judge peered at him over the top of her glasses.
"Please forgive me," Syaoran bowed again. "Allow me to explain, you see, I am Kurogane-san and Fai-
san's keeper."
"Keep…" Fai began.
"Keeper?" finished Kurogane.
Still, Syaoran made a point of ignoring them. He fixed his eyes on the judge and sh was the only one he spoke to. "My father runs a mental home on the outskirts of town. He will be here shortly to sign any papers necessary but in the meantime he has sent me to take them back to the home. You see, Fai-san and Kurogane-san are, well…not quite right in the head," he explained.
"Eh?"
"Just go along with it. We just have to act crazy," Fai whispered.
"There's no need for you to act," Kurogane shot, resenting every minute the jury stared at him as if he were insane.
The judge regarded Syaoran sceptically. "So you're saying that both men are insane?" she said slowly, as if there was something in his words that she could not quite understand.
"Yes, you honour, which would explain their latest…activities," Syaoran coughed. "If you'd allow me to take them back, I will make sure that this never happens again."
The judge stared from one face to the other, even running Sakura down with her hard eyes. Several minutes of silence passed. The stenographer had gotten bored and had gone for a coffee.
Eventually, the judge relaxed and nodded.
XX
The sun outside almost blinded them as they stepped into the fresh air. Air smelt better when one knew how perilously close they had come to never breathing again.
"Phew! You really saved us, Syaoran-kun!" Fai slumped against a bus stop bench. It was high time that they got out of this world and into the next. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back to breath the deep, clean air of life.
"Kurogane-san? Is something the matter?" Fai heard Syaoran say. The wizard opened one eye, remaining in the same position but suddenly alert to the ninja's anger.
"Insane?" Kurogane glowered at the grey floor.
"It was only a bluff," Fai lazily waved a dismissive hand in the air.
Kurogane frowned at the wizard. "So in this world, if you like someone who isn't of the opposite sex, you're insane? If you happen to fall for the wrong person you could die?"
Fai dropped his hand. "Kuro-rin…" he began but for once he was at loss for words. He had no idea that the ninja would take what was in his mind just an amusing, near-death, misunderstanding, so seriously.
"This whole place is insane," the ninja muttered.
"Perhaps we should leave now," Sakura suggested, voicing herself for the first time that day, "there's no feather here and all our supplies are well stocked."
Just as Fai was about to agree with her, Kurogane came in between them. "Not yet," he said, suppressing a strange, almost wicked expression surfacing on his face. "There's one thing I want to do before we leave."
XX
Sometimes, Syaoran wondered if their roles were ever reversed. Why did the adults never seem to act like adults and why was it that he was always in charge of working things through methodically? It was not that Kurogane or Fai were not intelligent, it was just that they seemed to give in to their immature side too often.
"Where have they gone to?" Syaoran sighed, wondering where Kurogane, with Fai in tow, could have possibly disappeared.
He scanned the stone streets and the cobbled roads, peering into shop windows and searching intently behind trees, dustbins and down alleyways. He really supposed that he was not being fair. What was the likelihood Fai or Kurogane would be caught in an alleyway after what had happened to them?
"S - Syaoran-kun!" Sakura's stunned voice alerted him.
Syaoran turned to his princess, alarmed. Sakura looked at him, eyes wide, then pointed down the road to where a large crowd of gasping locals had gathered.
Taking Sakura in hand, he pushed his way through the shocked throng of people until they reached the centre.
His eyes widened and his mouth fell open, scarcely believing what he was seeing. From Sakura's shoulder, Mokona made a low 'Hyuu!' sound that no one heard.
Kurogane, aware but pointedly ignoring all the people around them, was leaning against a lamppost with Fai, locked in a flurry of kissing. The wizard seemed blissfully unaware of all the attention the two were attracting, or if he did notice, did not care and plastered to Fai's back was the sign, 'It's okay, we're insane' in Kurogane's spindly scrawl.
As soon as he stopped gawking, Syaoran closed his mouth in time to manage a smile. He guessed that this was Kurogane's own personal ' up yours' to the world, and as the police sirens drew ever closer he guessed that it was time to leave.