The Worst YYH Fanfiction Ever

A Yû Yû Hakusho fanfiction by Sir Psycho Sexy

A/N: I am very glad that the first chapter got as many reviews as it did, not because I'm "LIEK OMG REVEW HORE!1!" but because I'm glad people sympathize with my position.

Speaking of which, the topic of Chapter Two is very important to me, as Sensui is my very favorite YYH character, and one of the very VERY few kickass, realistically portrayed gay men in anime or elsewhere (seeing as most are fanservice caricatures or "fabulous" nellies that give people makeovers). It makes me sad to see his character butchered.

So anyhoo, enjoy!

SPS

Chapter 2: Hetero-Sensui! Charge, Urameshi's Sister!

Feeling the current of subspace surrounding his body, provided there was any current inside an Ura-otoko's belly in the first place, Sensui Shinobu sat up with a jolt.

For some odd reason, he was back inside of his body; his mind was now oddly quiet as he did not hear most of his personae talking to one another. He looked up into the admiring face of one Yaminade no Itsuki…and felt absolutely disgusted that he had had his arms around him.

One thought consumed his mind: He had to find a pair of boobies, and quick. All he could think about were women's voluptuous breasts…and he did not become angry at himself for being "normal" or for being a total and utter hypocrite to his cause…

…Say, what cause was it again? Sensui could not remember for the life of him. All he could think about was finding himself a girlfriend and getting away from that creepy old fa- erm, demon, in subspace.

He threw Itsuki off of him and started to pace about, when, all of a sudden, a beautiful woman, who was half-fox-demon, one-third pixie, and precisely one-thirty-third yaminade (even though they were very rare in the first instance, and, in the second instance, even though they possessed normal demon lust for both sexes, most of them tended to attach themselves to a particular member of the same sex as themselves), opened up a portal into where the two men were and latched herself onto Sensui, screaming, "Oh, my gods, you are so kawaii! Marry me!"

All Sensui did was nod "yes" in a rather drugged stupor as Keara Sakura Catalina Urameshi, Yûsuke's goddess-like half-sister, born when Atsuko was 9 she had a really early puberty! I swear! That skank! and abandoned in a tequila crate in Mexico, glomped him again, and injected a clear substance that would make any gay man straight into his lower back…for the second time. She didn't want to make any mistakes, certainly none that would cost her a hot, sexy genocidal maniac that she could cure magically and make into her hubby.

She picked him up, gave him a smooch, and lifted him out of the Ura-otoko. Another girl, with long silver hair, one purple eye and one blood-red, and a well-developed bosom walked into the portal, and waved at Itsuki.

"OHMIGAWD! You are so hoot!" The silver-haired girl ran behind Itsuki and started hugging him. Itsuki would have shooed her off and had the Ura-otoko digest her; however, he too, was in a stupor, because the girl smelled like the one thing known to render a yaminade helpless.

Tropical Breeze-scented laundry detergent. (This is one of the odder phenomena that has been noted when Makai denizens are exposed to Ningenkai substances; various elemental yôkai species are severely allergic to substances that do not correspond to the elements they control. Now why it had to be Tropical-Breeze-scented as opposed to Spring Fresh or Lilac Mist, Reikai officials do not yet know.)

Having had Itsuki pass out, the silver-haired girl- let's call her Sue for simplicity's sake- took him to a local chapel, complete with overweight Elvis impersonator, 47 pounds of Kentucky Fried Chicken, and $20-in-American-currency marriage license, and bestowed upon him the sacred, eternal, loving institution of marriage. (Don't ask me how he got married when he was unconscious! It's just a fanfic, jeez!)

One Week Later

The two abominations- whoops, sorry- gorgeous, wise, perfect women were sitting around on Sue and Itsuki's porch, knitting scarves and sitting in their rocking chairs, the soft breeze making the chairs creak back and forth.

"How's your husband, Keara?" Sue tilted her head quizzically.

"He's a wreck. Honest to the gods. Every time I come home from a long day of seducing bishounen, he has this note attached to the door that says, 'Gone to Hooters. Be back at ten' written on it. I swear, if he ever goes to Hooters or a strip club or a soapland one more damn time, I'll…" Keara made a fist. It was okay for her to cheat, but the gods forbid her man do so! "Men…mrrgh…"

"I know what you mean. I have to keep my washer running twenty-four-seven so that my man won't run off and try to seduce your man." With this she shuddered.

"And it gets even worse! I didn't know that I didn't get rid of his female persona! Now whenever we try to get intimate, Naru comes crying on my shoulder and says that she's so damn happy I made her a lesbian!"

"Eww. Lesbians are gross." Sue made a face, and then looked at Keara. Damn, she thought, she's hot…NO NO NO NO NO! BAD SUE! She banged her head against the porch wall and fell unconscious.

At that very instant, the washer turned off, and the house no longer smelled of Tropical Breeze laundry detergent. Itsuki awoke from his stupor, rubbed his head, and asked, "Where is Shinobu?"

"He's mine!" yelled Keara. "So bugger off!"

Itsuki smiled. "Maybe I already have."

Keara was flustered, and angry, and ohhh…why did these two fa- erm, gentlemen- have to be so damn tricky?

"I GIVE UP!" she yelled. "You can have your damn boyfriend back!"

At that instant, Sensui ran up to the house and yelled, "Show me your tits! Show me your tits!"

Itsuki was stunned. This was surely a clone of his lover!

"Oh, hell, I injected something into his back to make him forget about hating humanity and to make him like girls like a normal man. But it totally backfired! LOOK!" Keara started bawling her eyes out.

"So…what do I do to get him back?"

Keara dug out a bottle, and dug two pills from the inside. "Here. These are antidote pills for the hetero-serum. You only need one of them…Choose the red pill or the blue pill."

"Which one do you recommend?" Itsuki asked, trying to screw with her mind.

"I dunno! Just take one! All I know is that one pill has more side effects than the other one!"

Itsuki thought for a moment, and then took the blue pill from her hand and smiled. He instructed Sensui to take- no, more like manipulated Sensui into taking- it. A few minutes later, he seemed to be back to his normal, gay self.

Except for one thing.

"Oh my God," Sensui lisped. "This shade of black does NOT MATCH this other shade of black on my pants! I'm a total fashion disaster! I have to get properly accessorized before I can go out and do lots and lots of crystal meth!"

The two girls squeed. Itsuki had chosen the right pill: he was no longer an unacceptable gay, nor a noisome straight. He was just right- a fabulously flaming gay man just like all of the others on TV! The kind that called out for celebration and tons upon tons of fangirls and hags following his every move!

Itsuki just stared at his partner. If this was another personality, so be it. He could stand his being a totally swishy queen- as long as it was an eighth persona.

Koenma could not get a wink of sleep. He had had that awful dream about Sensui chasing after women, and Itsuki being paralyzed by laundry detergent- and, well, even though he had taken action against the two, he still felt guilty that he left them in such a vulnerable position according to their wishes. Shinobu used to work for him, after all.

He admitted it…he was getting addicted to crappy fanfiction, and he needed to stop. And FAST. Nothing like this would happen in real life, right? And if it did, his father would hear about it and send the SDF in for the kill. Right?

He shuddered as he tried to persuade himself to go back to sleep after being spooked by that last nightmare for the past three hours. After all, tomorrow was work, work, work…and he had to get up bright and early for that, or else he'd get a spanking…

Koenma shut his eyes and tried to get some rest. Damn fanfiction…

END CHAPTER 2

A/N: Next time…I'm taking some of your advice! Bad high school A/U! Karasu/Kurama syrupy fluffbunny romance! Possible manslut Kurama!

Also, I'd like more ideas, if you please.