Mental Trauma
Chapter 9—The end of Everything?
"Blues…" Enzan said quietly. He could almost hear his voice echo as the crackling blade made a deafening sound in his ears.
"Blues…"
"Have you always hated me…?"
"What?" The air vibrated around his skull, and Blues swung his left hand. A sudden change in mid-air. He wrenched Enzan's throat, and pulled him into the sky. The Ijuuin gasped for air; his weak fingers trying to pry away. He was already doing his best not to scream in agony; the cut was stretching.
He could make a pond…
"Enzan, no!" Netto pulled his petrified self together, and darted forward, only to be blocked by Laika. "No! Let me go!" Laika ignored the pleas of freedom, and examined the scenario thoroughly.
Blues at that instant had Enzan's life literally in the palm of his hands, which could barely struggle at all given his new condition and dangling in the air. Laika was right behind all of it, but he could see a stalemate. Searchman was slightly hunched over, sniper rifle over his shoulder. Though he could only see the back, he could tell his Navi was about to shoot. However, he could still hear the crackling of the dark sword that Blues possessed, which made him assume the blade could puncture Searchman with a single movement. He examined this all in a heartbeat, and feared that before a solution, there would be a fatality no matter what happened…
And right now… they could do nothing…
"What was that?" Blues said sternly. Enzan closed his eyes as he tried to take in as much air as possible. Somehow, he found it a lot easier than he thought it would be. He found the grip become more and more gentle, and the weight on his feet became heavier. Enzan opened his eyes, as the grip slowly faded, and he found himself feet perfectly flat on the ground. Enzan took his breaths gently, as if not to irk Blues any further. He looked Blues in the face, which seemed to change in some way he couldn't make out, but his lips were trembling, as if at a loss for words. At least that's what he thought was it until he spoke. "Have I…" He made a near shocked look on his face. "Always…" The Net Savior gave a sorrowful nod, unknown as to what Blues really was at the moment. His dark gloved hands remained around Enzan's throat. He merely wrapped his own around them gently.
"Have you always resented me, Blues? Was I so unbearable to you?" Enzan's face turned flushed; he was going to cry. "Did I… hurt you?" Blues' eyes widened almost frantically.
There was a moment when his hands slowly drifted away from Enzan's throat ever so slowly and gently. Enzan refused to look away from Blues' eyes, to see flinching through the visor, or anything of the sort. Instead, Blues bared his teeth and snarled.
"Enzan…" He growled viciously. "URUSAI!" ("Shut up!") Blues drew back his left leg and swung it into his stomach.
"Gu!" Enzan groaned, and hunched over. Stomach still leaning against the other's knee.
"ENZAN!" The two other Net Saviors cried, not sure what to do. Searchman was silent, and dug his weapon into the cold powder.
"What…" Blues hissed, "what the hell kind of question is THAT?" He lifted his knee, turned to the side and swung it again, stopping in midair as for Enzan to be thrown off. He hit the ground hard and rolled into the snow, sticking to his vest and pants like Velcro. He lay there trembling for a moment, and pulled himself together shortly after, realizing he left a trail of yet again more blood. Left elbow as support as the right did a pushup, his head hung low and his right knee trying to remain stable. He coughed momentarily, and watched the snow in front of his face begin to stain. He laughed gently, and raised his head to face the angered Navi.
"Blues…" Enzan moaned, as he put all of his effort and energy into staying awake and getting up. "Please… tell me…" His knees caved slightly, and he took his weak steps, letting the snow fall gently off of him per hard step. "Please…" There was a silence, other than the crunching of the snow underneath his trembling feet. He was a mere meter away from Blues. Tears of longing streamed down his forsaken eyes, as he felt confusion and embarrassment. "What did I…?" His arms reached forward, dying to embrace him. Blues stood in a defensive stance, and his teeth gritted as he felt a strange fear blanket him.
"Don't come any closer! Or—or I'll kill you!" His blade crackled violently, pointing toward Enzan, but trembling so hard it moved in inches.
"Blues… this… you are… my nightmare…" Enzan stopped in his tracks, and smiled with his eyes still watering away "you are… my fear…"
"Enzan…" Laika breathed. He listened intently to what he could only identify as preaching. He watched as the droplets gently made their way to the snow that dampened his steps, as he almost seemed to glow in the dead of the night.
"They always say… if you want your fears to go away… you have to face them … Uh…" Enzan stumbled into the snow face first. Blues took a dark step back, as he finally noticed that his feet were crackling on contact with the snow.
"Enzan!" Netto shrilled, breaking free of Laika's grip, darting to his side. Laika wanted to come too… but something held him back… far back…
Blues eyed the brunette whom hovered over Enzan's limp body protectively. Netto glared darkly at Blues, an unusual expression on his face. "Don't touch him, Blues!" Netto cried. Blues gnarled and forcibly pushed Netto away by the shoulder. "No!" He darted forward in another attempt, but was met with a fist slamming him hard in the stomach. "Rehh—E…En…zan…" Netto fell forward, motionless in the white blankets. Blues simply continued on Enzan, and lifted him by the collar; Laika took a glance at Searchman, who on response readied his weapon. He wouldn't fire with Enzan too close in the way, but he was ready to. Laika took his quick steps toward Netto, not daring to take his eyes off of Blues. He had pulled Enzan close up and personal.
"You make me sick…" Blues said defiantly. He glared at Enzan's smile, wanting to swipe it clean off his face. He laughed gently, which further infuriated him. Enzan's hands grasped Blues shoulders, and he pulled himself forward, close to Blues' ear, his hands not letting go.
"Blues… You are… my fear… but… want to know a secret? It's really funny…" His head rested limply on Blues' shoulder. He wasn't dead yet, so he expected Blues' response any time soon. Blues slowly get Enzan down, and he fell into him. He was tired, and he knew that his fate rested in this very moment. "Blues…" He whispered—his half opened eyes seeing the blackened armor glow slightly. "I… love being afraid…" His voice shook, as his tears fell upon Blue's shoulder, and sent jolts running down his spine. He could care less… His arms wrapped tightly around Blues, who illuminated from his darkness.
"Let…go! What the hell are you doing? AAAGH!" Blues cried, feeling a surge of power run through him, something he knew he feared but didn't know why.
"I… don't want to make you suffer…" His eyes closed and his arms slipped. He felt himself fall forward—forward into nothing. The jolts by now had completely numbed his body.
In the dank of his mind, he could hear screams of fear seep through… Echoes of familiar voices… and one stood far out from the rest…
"Enzan-sama…"
(Now time for the Author to make some statements that are mandatory… so she believes…)
Okay, for some reason I can't help but think that right now this chapter has already begun to progress poorly… This part was done on Saturday, I was cramming all weekdays. Exams are coming and I aim to please.
After this chapter, I'm going to take a VERY quick break from this story, because I want to compensate for a crappy chapter. I'm making a Netto/Enzan one-shot for that pairing's fans. It's not so much as shonen-ai more as suggestive, because technically there's no general "touching" involved. Alrighty, so I'm going to continue before people get bored.
(On with the show!)
"ENZAN-SAMA!" Blues shrilled, his eyes widened and he looked at his surroundings. He was surrounded by two circular repairing data streams. As his mind finally unclogged, he saw them dissipating, one piece by one piece. He looked around once again. "I'm in the regeneration area at SciLab…" He told himself slowly, letting his memory return to him. It was useless, but he did know that something was horribly, horribly wrong. He could feel it. His heart jolted at him when he realized what provoked his senses.
"Enzan-sama…"
His data flashed out of the area.
"Enzan-sama!" Blues called, when he materialized back into his PET. There was a silence as he heard no response. The room was dark as night had been the theme he entered, but the moon shot a blue hue in the night. Quickly he adapted to the darkness, and could see a bed in the distance, an obvious familiar personnel lying in it, and another lying at the foot. "Enzan-sama," he called again. No response, "it's… me…" he said almost stupidly, praying for a response.
"Enzan-sama?" his tone was pleading, but he knew he wasn't going to get an answer.
"Blues, I see you've returned. Back to normal I pray?" A familiar voice asked. He saw nothing, until the dark scenery moved, and faced a familiar silhouette.
"Laika-san, it's you!" He said yet again stupidly. Laika ignored the remark. There were much more pressing matters to attend to.
"I trust you've made a full recovery?" Blues was silent, unknown as to what the soldier was talking about. "Have you forgotten what's happened?" No response came, "I shall take that as a stubborn no." Laika said blankly, Blues looked up at the soldier, noticing a slightly unusual tone in his voice. It sounded bitter and almost hateful. His face however was well composed and calm. At least that's what he could make out from the darkness.
"Laika-san… what has happened to Enzan-sama? Why isn't he waking up?" Laika hushed up for a moment, looking into the direction of this Navi's operator. He took a deep breath and returned to glare at Blues.
"Blues, please do tell me:" Laika started, "what is it that makes you call him Enzan-sama; why not Enzan or Enzan-kun?" Laika said quietly, an eyebrow rose in the form of 'answer me or face my wrath'. Blues blinked, and processed the question thoroughly.
"I…Don't know…" Blues said thoughtfully. "It is… in my vocabulary… anything else to me would be almost grammatically incorrect." He looked at Laika to see his response. There was none as usual. He was quiet for a moment, and then looked away.
"…" He opened his mouth to speak, but it took a moment for words to come out, "I see."
"Why? Is there something wrong with it?" Blues said slowly. Laika was silent for a longer period of time. He finally responded after about a good minute or so.
"Well…" He sad, even slower. He turned sharply at Blues, which made him flinch, "you don't deserve to call him that!" Blues blinked, confused by the sudden snap. What had he done so wrong? What was it that he had forgotten? Within the darkness outside of his PET, he heard shuffling noises, which he saw alerted the young soldier. "Blues…" Laika said bitterly, as if the name burned his tongue. "Go to sleep, we'll discuss this tomorrow. Also, you'll have a long day ahead of you." Blues was silent for a moment, feeling very conspicuous. Was there something Laika was hiding? "Sleep." Laika repeated sternly, and with that, Blues put himself on sleep mode.
Laika sighed heavily, and rubbed his temples in frustration. Another adult headache was coming on. He heard more grumbling behind him. He turned around into the darkness, needing to readapt after looking at the light of the red PET. He already knew however that it was Netto.
"L-Laika…" he said groggily, rubbing at his eyes. "What is it?" He turned and faced the shady figure.
"Netto…" Laika started, "It's… nothing… go back to sleep…" he waved Netto off, who did the exact opposite; he got up and strutted numbly to the older net savior.
"That's the thing…" Netto said melancholic. He pulled up a chair and sat beside Laika, looking down into the darkness with lament, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. "I don't think I can… I…" his voice cracked, "I miss them…" He reached toward his PET, and stroked the cracked screen. "Laika… Rockman almost…" He bit his lip, and growled to stop himself from bursting to tears. "I don't think Rockman could handle all of it… what if he's—?"
"I know," Laika said darkly, not wanting to further this conversation. "Whatever comes comes. We will need to be ready for it…" Laika closed his eyes and leaned into the chair, crossing his arms. He pictured the brunette in his mind exactly as he just saw him. He looked scornful and miserable beyond contemplation, tears shining in the bare minimum of light from the distant skies. "Netto… you have to sleep some time around. You're a complete wreck." The militant said coldly, being as blunt as possible to make the message clear. He heard Netto's crisp, clean sigh of surrender. The creak of the brunette's chair gave him the idea that Netto was going back to the bedside. "Don't sleep there; you'll hurt your back. Sleep on his couch." He heard a grumble of ignorance, and he knew Netto wasn't giving up. Laika sighed heavily, "take out a futon and lay it beside the bedside—happy?" his tone was annoyed, but knew that was the only way that the younger boy would finally get a decent good night's sleep…
Laika on the other hand heard of no such thing.
He had been on the same chair since day one, and didn't plan on moving anywhere, at least until everything was normal again. Laika fidgeted in his chair uncomfortably, to make him… as comfortable as he could get. At last in a fairly decent position, he heard flapping of a futon, and the thud of Netto smacking the floor with his own weight. It had been nine days since the incident, with Enzan's and Rockman's… conditions… little changing. He saw images of his friends flash past. Those times he saw them laugh together, argue together, sip their drinks together while arguing. An unusual feeling landscaped his mind. A feeling of almost hopelessness surged through him. He shook his head profusely to clear the sinning thought out of his head. Regardless of how the odds were there was always a small light of hope. He didn't care of how ridiculous it sounded, but he chanted this in his mind…
It didn't work.
There was no telling how long it could last, and how much suffering would be done before the problem was solved if at all. This damage would obviously leave a scar in their minds and nothing would ever be the same again. He ran a finger through his short hair and leaned forward into the table, unfolding his arms. His elbows made a gentle clunk on the wooden surface. He opened his eyes, and with his sea blue colors he searched the room with his dark-adapted eyes. Netto lay on his side, head resting on his hand and his elbow on the futon. Laika shook his head in annoyance, realizing how hard it was to put a young boy to sleep, especially when his closest friends were in danger. He looked toward the bed at the far end of the drowsy room. His face was pale and was scrunched in a sorrowful look. The soldier felt something squeeze his heart tightly. He took a deep breath and rested his head on the table, his forearms as pillows. He stared at the off desk lamp, letting it be his hopefully last vision of the night. He just wanted all of this to end…
"Laika?" Netto called sheepishly. The older net savior took a deep breath again and sighed.
"What is it, Netto?" He said numbly. He heard nothing, as Netto tried to sum up his thoughts.
"… Laika… do you think Enzan will return to us…" The young brunette said quietly, a hope in his tone. "Do you think… he'll return to normal again…?" Laika's heart squeezed again and his throat tightened. What kind of question was that? How could he possibly answer something like that without hurting Netto? He swallowed hard to get rid of the painful feel.
"Netto…" Laika said bitterly, "I really… don't think I can answer that question." He shut his eyes tightly, trying to think of more things to say. "We'll… just have to hope for the best… and see what happens…" He heard the young boy whimper in worry.
"I don't want to wait…" he grumbled. "I want to know now!" his tone woke Laika up fully, but the young man still refused to open his eyes. "Rockman's been hurt so badly that it's not even funny! He is barely hanging on by a thread! Enzan—!" Netto paused for a moment, throat beginning to sore up. "Laika… I'm scared for Enzan…" Netto sat up straight, looking at the cold boy. He looked as if he were frozen in all time and space… caught in a moment—a moment of terror… "Nobody even knows what's wrong with him…" Netto's voice faded into tire and contempt. He hunched over in agony of what was happening. How else could he respond? He felt like he was losing—or close to losing—two very important people in his life. "What am I supposed to do, Laika?"
The soldier looked at Netto in agony. The boy was right… what could they do? They didn't know how to change anything; these were matters beyond their own understanding and all they could do was watch from day one. At first, they could have at least gesture a few words… but now… they couldn't even do that…
The more Laika thought, the more feelings of impending doom overwhelmed him. There was a long silence, meaning Netto had either fallen into his own thought or into sleep. Either way, Laika let himself relax on the outside, but his insides…
They were tearing…
Chapter 9 End
Was that a cliffhanger? Did it seem like a cliffhanger?
I don't know…
Just to let you know, what's happened will be explained in the next chapter… but for now, I must work on that one shot! I'm sorry this was a fairly annoying and seemingly rushed chapter. Did it seem rushed? I really don't know—I'm my worst critique, so I'm paranoid.
Read and Review! If not I shall die a sorrowful death of doom and gloom!