Remorse Before Suicide
He says I should tell you
How I feel about not running my own life
He says I should tell you
That I enjoy acting more then becoming a doctor
But he doesn't know you.
Your hateful eyes
Narrowing at every word I say
That you do not want escaping my lips
An echo of your yells
Plagues me still.
The next morning I wake up
To remain in the uniform of life
I woke to a life of lies
Lies of pretending I couldn't care less
But I could and he knows.
He urges me to go on
Never give up on MY dreams
So of course I obeyed
I kept with the play
But you came to the opening.
My heart stopped
But I went back out onto MY stage
For I remembered his words
"The longer you wait to find your own voice the harder it becomes"
My heart was broken after the play.
You took me back to our home
My mother now knows the "painful" truth
You both are yelling
Before long I'm forced to bed
But I never went.
I crept out of bed
Down the quiet stairs
Into a room on the first floor
Walking over to the desk
My fingers glide to a handle.
I slowly open the drawer
There I find my door to death
I pull it out
Placing it to my head
You hear a noise in the quiet night.
A jolt fills your body as you rush into the room
My body, you find, broken in a puddle of my own blood
Tears filled those hateful eyes
And for once you really care
But its too late, I'm already gone.