Mental Trauma
Chapter 10; The Hedgehog's Dilemma
"Netto," Laika called, snapping the boy out of his deep thought. He turned to face the older Net Savior, with the face of longing and annoyance. He had frozen completely, not letting himself move. Laika had a fierce glare upon him, though it hardly inclined violence. He was sending a telepathic message to Netto almost. 'Do it.' The voice rang. He swallowed hard and nodded.
"E-Enz-an…" He placed his hand over the quilt of where the boy's chest lay underneath. His voice shook as his hand did the same. "R-rise and shine…" He tensed as Enzan's face scrunched up, fighting the rude awakening. He was never a morning person in the first place—the boy mused—not that he ever complained. Netto pulled his hand away, lips trembling; he added a meek "please?" with that, Enzan's face lightened. Netto got off the bed and walked away before he could see the boy regain full consciousness. Laika turned his back as well, and grabbed the red PET.
"Enzan…" Laika said rather uneasily, "I want to show you something…" He clutched the pieces of machinery tightly within his hand. "Wake up…" He said almost coldly, eyes fixated on the glowing screen. The green suddenly flashed red data, forming into the red and purple Navi. Blues looked a little disoriented as he regained his consciousness. He was unable to quite realize where he was at the moment, as Laika—instead of Enzan greeted him this morning.
"L-Laika-san… why are you—" Before he could finish, the outside world's background moved and twisted. He had nearly fallen in dizziness, but regained stance when he met a familiar face. It brought him a new solace, but as he looked longer and deeper into it, he felt terror. What he finally saw was a total nightmare. "Enzan-sama…what—what is this?" Blues' hands trembled, as he reached forward to touch the screen. His jaw dropped in horror. "Your eyes… your beautiful eyes…" he whispered, lips quivering. "You…"
Enzan wearily blinked. It was slow and weakly. And as his eyelids slid open, it revealed a dull, morbid gray, a misty flavor around the iris. His eyes hadn't completely opened, and they weren't about to. What worried him more—Enzan was white as a sheet of paper, his lips—if he could see properly, was an extremely pale blue… there was almost no color in them. His black hairs had seemed to gray a tinge, and his white seemed to dull.
That was when there came the ice cold feeling that Blues suddenly succumb to.
Enzan looked almost…
Dead…
Enzan… this wasn't Enzan… it had to be an imposter. Blues would tell himself this.
Why?
It's because, it had to be true…
"Enzan-sama... what happened? You look…" His voice cracked. What could he say? His tongue had been cut off… The screen moved a little, as Laika handed it to Enzan.
"Blues…" Enzan said, though no one could hear it; his name was breathed out. He almost simply mouthed it. The red Navi gave a pained smile, as his hands stroked the screen weakly. It was almost an obsessive gesture; something happened to his little Enzan, which made him something unholy. He jumped as the outside seemed to move in one sudden swift drop. His screen faced up, as he was now placed in Enzan's lap. Enzan looked away, and toward Laika. "Blues…" he said dully. "This is Blues."
"Enzan-sama,"
Laika was silent, refusing to answer the question. Although seemingly numb minded, Enzan could come to his own conclusions.
"I see…" He said slowly, his head slowly bending down to take a long look at Blues. The silence was throat wrenching, as his eyes… they did not seem to linger within any direction. They seemed to pierce through Blues, and into the background, through the sea of data, his very bed sheets, his thigh that the PET nestled upon, the bed, the floor…
He was looking at nothing.
"This… is Blues…" Enzan said, almost icily. His voice was most definitely dead, most definitely his… and yet somehow, it was well alive… and it was him. It was Enzan, deep within the crevices of this haunting voice. However, the other feeling seemed to be powerful…
Much more powerful.
"Yes," Blues said, voice shaking, as he took a few steps back, "Blues… I am… Blues… And you are my Net Operator." The red Navi held his hand to his chest, as if to prepare for an impact, as he added his last. "You are… my operator… right?" He asked rather nervously. He gave a hard look at this dead… child. "I have… some… data to reformat," he smiled unusually, and excused himself, "first, please hand me to Laika, Enzan-sama… I'd like… to speak with him…" There was a few moments pause, and then Enzan's hand covered the screen. "His hands are dead white," Blues noted under his breath, as he was handed toward Laika. The background turned, and as Laika's face came into view, it began to move away from the previous direction.
Laika gave the Navi yet another annoyed look.
"What?" He said bluntly, in a way that it didn't sound like a question. Blues looked to the floor of his data tiles, as he began to recollect his vocabulary.
"Is that… really… Ijuuin Enzan?" He said, question as true as it could sound. His eyes fell into the mercy of Laika's reaction.
"Yes…" the militant said with a very deadly tone. "That's Enzan-sama." Blues looked up in shock with his outside showing no reaction.
He was being mocked.
"Laika…" Blues said warily, "What has happened? Why is Enzan as such? Was there an accident that I was not aware of?" He was cut short of his questions as Laika bared his fangs and growled. He heard the door click closed in the outside world. Giving him the drastic assumption that he did that so no one could hear his helpless screams of agony, Blues took a nervous step back.
"Accident? Yeah sure there was an accident! Do you want to know what it was?" His voice raised, as his anger seemed fairly obvious, and his face contorted, Blues swallowed hard, not sure as to respond or not, because he knew if he responded, it would end up being a pun no matter what he said. Instead he responded with a sufficient standing-of-the-up perfectly straight. Laika gave him a strange look, now he himself became unsure of whether to finish. It didn't take long for Blues to realize what Laika was inclining. He bit his virtual lip hard.
"Laika-san…" He took a drowsy breath before he continued. "I'm… the accident… aren't I?" Blues said sadly. Laika's face dampened, as he realized what position he put the red Navi into. "I… I've damaged Enzan-sama with my own… two… hands…" His arms trembled toward his face, and he felt a drastic surge of uneasiness run through him. He gasped in pain, as his heart wrenched. He had all feelings as well…
No matter how fake…
"I hurt…" He took a breath of air, his eyes widen in intense agony. "Enzan…Enzan-sama" his eyes darted back and forth to find a place to leer at. His breaths turned shallow as he felt a provoking fear challenge him. It was a fear that intended death, lived death, played with death…
It was death…
Blues gave a distraught grin, holding his shoulders close he collapsed into a board of data that frizzed in the process. He could care less if it were exploding and sent him up in flames. "I…did I… kill him?" Laika's eyes widened at the prospect. He in fact found it a very good question indeed.
Laika rubbed his temples and sighed, "Blues, I never said you killed him…"
"Can you say I didn't?" Blues said rather quickly. Laika raised an eyebrow at the formidable question. This was getting ever so slightly annoying, but for some reason he had the feeling that this was the easy part. Therefore, he sucked it up, realizing by the end of this he'd be pulling a proverbial rabbit out of his ass…
"Blues… is there any proof that you killed him? I mean, he's lying in there as we speak." Laika said, bored with this game. Blues shook his head no.
"Can you prove to me that he's alive?" Laika blinked at the strange question. What would that mean? Enzan wasn't beyond those doors? Blues took a deep breath, doing his best to get his bearings straight. He crossed his arms and gave a challenging look up at Laika beneath the visor, but the aura he gave off—digital or not—was more than enough for him to know what Blues was feeling. "Laika… Laika-san… prove to me that my Enzan-sama is alive in there; open that door and take a good look. Immediately return and tell it to my face that he most definitely is alive…" Blues smiled graciously, "think you can do that?" Laika scoffed, irritated with this dumb game of words. Laika rolled his eyes and closed them. He was going to do this, and he'd be right. Enzan would be alive and well in there…
No he wouldn't…
He already knew that…
However, he wasn't about to go down without a fight, "Fine, Blues. You want to see Enzan alive? He's alive! I'll tell you he's alive!" His hand reached for the doorknob, and his heart jumped. Was he crazy? Who was he trying to prove? Blues was of no relevance to him at this point in time, other than Enzan's killer—no! Not killer! Enzan was alive and well! Laika shook his head profusely and his hand wrapped itself around the doorknob and twisted…
He froze yet again…
Blues' preaching had really gotten to him, What if he really wasn't there? Maybe these nine days he was sitting unconscious in the chair, completely dreaming the whole days as Enzan being there! If the opened the door, Enzan may not be there, the room could be empty!
Or perhaps Enzan could be there!
Yet again Laika shook his head like mad. The conflicts were getting boring and mundane… He made a last twist to hear the door click, meaning it was all the way turned. With that, he slowly began to push the door open, as the light began to blow out from the within. He took a slight peek in, nervous as if the plague were behind the doors. Instead of a plague, he saw Enzan, sitting at the side of his bed, staring at something.
"See Blues? He's alive and well!" Laika whispered, as not to disturb Enzan from whatever he was so fixated on. He took a look at Blues, who merely shook his head.
"What ever happened to taking a good look?" Laika gritted his teeth, but surrendered to the ridiculous dare. He swallowed hard, and looked through again, pushing the door a little further every second. He could hear small whispers of nothing inside, assuming that either Enzan was talking to himself, or he was being spoken to by Netto. Laika shook his head yet again and took the latter half. He pushed the door so it was halfway open, but it was as if Enzan didn't notice, but with good reason. What he heard wasn't whispers.
They were sobs.
"Netto, why—what's the matter?" Laika trotted toward the two nervously. Enzan's head slowly turned up, and an alien look loomed over his face, which scared him to no end.
"He doesn't stop crying," Enzan said listlessly, hand entangled in Netto's hair. "I cannot see what's wrong with him." His head tilted to the side, as he continued petting the brunette. Laika blinked, as he could see a part of Enzan's pants darkening from wetness beneath him.
"Laika-san…" Blues said quietly. The mint-headed soldier paid a knowing glance at him. "I think you better tell me what has happened…" Laika pursed his lips for a moment, and nodded.
"Where…" Laika started slowly. "Where… do you want to start?"
---
Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Spare me! I have a genuine excuse as to why I didn't submit! Usually winter holidays means quicker updates for you people, but for me it isn't. I had a hectic week! I had my brother's work to proofread, AMVs to make, shopping to get done; I lost my rough draft for my stories, pieces of Artwork to submit and worst of all MY INTERNET CRASHED OVER HALF THE CHRISTMAS BREAK… So I don't have the one shot (but I'm making a new one, and it saved on the computer and the paper rough draft is hidden in a very safe compartment… where is the compartment anyway? I forgot!)
I know that I should be more organized and I'm doing what I can, so far I'm hoping you guys like this chapter, because I had a hell of a time redoing this.
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"…and… something weird happened…" Laika said slowly. He'd been talking for about an hour, trying to clear things up. "There was a charge of electricity, and you reverted back into the PET… Enzan hits the ground… with it in his hands…" Laika held his own in front of his face, as if to emphasize. "We took him home, and you to SciLab for repairs… when we came back, we found Rockman partially deleted… We took him to SciLab as well for repairs, but we're not sure… Blues?" Laika looked at the PET, to find the red Navi with his back turned. He sat on the floor like a shamed child. "Blues…" Laika said slowly, "Don't do this, you look pathetic… Err, Blues? Blues," the solder stupidly shook the PET to find signs of life. Instead, Blues tipped over and hit the floor, revealing a stretchy stitched face. Laika stood there dumbfounded, realizing he may as well be talking to a brick wall. "Ka—Kawarimi!" Laika shrilled. (Kawarimi is a replacement. Spoiler: He's pulling a Trill Insert stupid laughter)
"My apologies, Laika-san. I was hoping that you would not notice my absence." Blues voice came through the PET, though Laika could see nothing.
"Blues? Where are you?" He said, hot in the face from being fooled. He felt like strangling the red Navi right then and there, but as usual detained his real feelings.
"I'm setting up the dimensional area generator. I would appreciate it if you came here, I can't enter the natural plain without a host. Not poltergeist wise either; I just need the PET." Laika twitched for a few moments longer, realizing he had stopped breathing; he took a deep breath and sighed, grunting in agreement. "Arigatou," Blues said rather quickly.
"There would be no use arguing with you Blues, so I might as well right?" he walked toward the unholy room, which crossed out all boundaries between man and machine in its own way. "Could I ask why you would want to come out?" He said as the door slid open hauntingly, he stepped in as the room began to glow and spark its rainbows.
"I can't do anything while trapped within that little box," Blues said lamenting, "It's almost like a video conference; you're there, but you really aren't…" He paused in his setup, and lowered his head in silence. It was as all Net Navi were built; they couldn't touch their operators in that sense, not even in cross fusion could they do such, so they found ways to do so, when ever they got the chance, it made them feel good. It was a feeling that couldn't be mistaken for anything else…
It made them feel real…
Blues shooed the thoughts out of his head, and continued with his work. "There's a small casing of chips to your right, please slot one in. I am plugging out now." Blues said, and a red flash shot into the PET, Blues stood beside the Kawarimi. Laika scoffed.
"Now I can't tell which is which," he said in a mocking tone. Blues raised an eyebrow at the interesting sense of humor. The background moved as Laika made his way to the colored chips. Taking one in hand he nodded in Blues' direction. "Holo-chip… Slot… In…" He said slowly and numb. He held out the PET, and as it began to glow, he stepped away from it, and within seconds, Blues materialized before him, his shoulder glowing with the colors of the chip. "Hikari-hakase has made slight modifications in the chip design since you last used it… not that you recall. You won't get shocks anymore." The soldier said rather dully. The two glared at each other for a few long, painful moments. "I had a mission to do a few nights ago that I postponed. I've been here for nine days, I don't trust his maids for a minute; I think they could be Fan girls…" Laika grinned at Blues. "I trust you in keeping Enzan safe." The red Navi for a moment was baffled, but nodded in agreement.
"Of course," Blues said simply, then returned the grin, "Fight them off with a stick if I have to." He held out his hand for Laika to receive, "I apologize greatly for all of the trouble I have caused you, and I will do all in my power to change things…" Laika shook his head.
"This'll be out of character for me to say… but shut up." Blues blinked in confusion, but smiled in amusement. "You're no trouble… usually… now go." He pointed to the door with one hand, and shoved Blues with another. He watched as Blues walked out of the room.
"A-Arigatou…" Blues said quickly, as he continued through the corridor. Laika sighed, as he too went out of the room in the opposite direction.
"Laika-san…" Searchman said slowly, Laika pulled out the PET and acknowledged the green Navi. "Your mission doesn't start until tomorrow…" He raised an eyebrow at Laika. The soldier was silent for a moment, and shrugged.
"Judgment…" Laika said with a grin on his face, "It must be impaired…"
---
"Enzan-sama," Blues called, knocking nervously on the door, "May I come in?" for a minute, the red Navi went cross-eyed. He'd never said that before, but it felt good. Nervously his hand touched the doorknob, knowing the exact process of how to open it, but still very unsure of himself. "Lefty loose, righty tight…" Stupidly, he turned it to the right, but it worked anyway "in exception to doors." Blues mused. He pushed the door open, and Enzan greeted him with an awkward stare. "Enzan-sama…" Blues said uneasily, the duo colored boy tilted his head. He eased Netto off, who sat himself straight on the floor. Enzan stood up, and eyed Blues suspiciously. "I'm… back?"
"I know." The Ijuuin said bluntly. He opened his mouth to speak, but it took many moments for something to actually come out, "Welcome home." Blues nodded, and looked at Netto curiously.
"Netto, you may want to return home." It felt awkward to talk to the brunette at the moment, but he did anyway. "Your parents may be worried. Uh…" He took a deep breath, "I… am sure that… Rockman… will be more than alright. He is… strong…" 'Stronger than me, perhaps…' "I apologize, for everything I've caused you…" Hikari Netto was somebody that he held dear to him, but he never really said much; how many times he had saved him from a tight spot he didn't know any more, so he didn't quite know what to say when he realized Rockman was in critical condition. Even though Laika didn't say much, his tone was rather obvious. The brunette wiped his bloodshot eyes, and slowly pulled himself up. He gave a longing look toward Enzan.
"Hikari…" the Ijuuin said very slowly. "Go home." Netto took one last look at Blues, and glanced at Enzan. He nodded and began to slowly make his way out the door. As he stood beside the red Navi, he spoke with pleading words.
"Bring him back…" he said "please… bring him home…" the clicks of his heels began in a steady pace out the door, which clicked shut behind him. Blues sighed heavily, and took a hard look at Enzan.
"What is it?" he said, plain and simple. "Reformatting the files went well I'm trusting." Blues took a glance behind him, to check the door had not shifted inward. His eyes reverted back to Enzan, who stood there with a nonchalant look in his eyes. It was one only Blues could see, but the face he had was really… dull…
"You must've said something …" Blues said numbly, "to make Netto cry like that… He's usually so impervious to insults…"
"I merely called his name. He seems to be weaker than you claim…" Blues shrugged inwardly; at least he had some sort of conversation.
"Enzan-sama…" Blues said, slightly apprehensive. He took a few steps forward to his Net Op. "What's happened to you? Are you really—" his throat got caught, as he choked on the final word. "Are you…gone?" there was a silence as classified thoughts ran through his mind; dank feelings that spelled hopeless. Enzan merely sat down, legs tired. Blues continued toward Enzan, and kneeled before him. "Enzan-sama…" as much as he knew his question was unanswerable, he asked it, "are you there?" Again, the Ijuuin tilted his head to the side curiously, like a deer in the headlights.
"Blues…" Enzan said slowly, he eerily blinked. White as paper, dulled hair; it was very unnerving. His eyes lost luster and yet glowed beautifully at the same time.
"Enzan-sama!" Blues called out loud, "You're in there, and I know you are! Please, return to normal! Please…" He clutched one of Enzan's cold hands in his own; "Please!" he lowered his head against Enzan's knee. Where could he go from here? He didn't even recall what happened. It was lost data…
"Blues…" his tone was of nothing, and his eyes looked down the Navi's locks of hair. 'This is Blues…' he told himself, 'but who is Blues?' he asked himself. 'Blues… is my Navi… I am his operator…' His eyes twitched in conflict. 'I died… yet Blues speaks to me…'
"Enzan-sama, please come back…" Blues continued to beg, at a loss of what to do. He just closed his eyes and leaned there in silence…
It was hopeless…
"Blues…" Enzan called quietly. He opened his eyes in surprise, as the hand pulled out of his. Slowly, he raised his head toward his operator, not knowing what to expect. Much to his surprise, Enzan's hands were wrapped around his helmet. 'Blues… I want to see this… Blues…' He gently tugged the helmet off, not taking his eyes from the red Navi. The silver locks few over his face and everywhere, it was almost… 'Amusing'…
"Enzan-sama… I…" hands came between his locks that blocked his view, and trailed to his sides. It was almost like an unveiling. Enzan's eyes glowed a little. Not a lot, but a little.
"Blues…" he said slowly, "Kimi wa… ore no Navi... My Navi…" his lips very slowly curved into a given smile, as he wiped a tear from the red Navi's eyes that was so close to falling, his sun yellow eyes blurred as more tears began to form. Blues doesn't cry… he doesn't cry… Blues doesn't…
Screw it.
He pulled Enzan forward into his arms, and wrapped around him tightly. "Enzan-sama!" he cried. Unsure of what he was doing, he let himself go. He knew how stupid he looked right now, but… never mind…
He could deal with that another day...
Enzan was wide-eyed in surprise at the sudden motion. 'Blues is crying… he's happy… and he's embracing me…' slowly, he closed his eyes, and wrapped his own around Blues. He sighed, feeling safe, comfortable…
And alive…
He leaned further into Blues' chest, and began to hear a slow, steady beat.
"Blues… I'm home…"
End Chapter
I'm sorry, that took so long. If you people are wondering, "Vat the vack happened?" I can't clear it up any further than what I've done…
Can we just say… it's the power of love? I don't know how to put it!
I want to further my apologies and grovel, in hopes that you guys won't flame me… I was late, I know…
VERY late.
It's not over yet, I still have one or two more chapters to go through… maybe three… I don't know… We still have yet to revive Rockman remember? Our lovable Blue Navi?
Read and Review
I BEG YOU HAVE MERCY!